TW: abuse, alcoholism

"I remember it well, the first time that I saw, your head round the door. Cause mine stopped working.....I remember December" - I Remember ~ Damian Rice

December 1959

"He really did some damage this time, didn't he?" Jenny said as she touched up the remainder of Charli's black eye. Her bruises were still healing and much easier to cover.

It had been a couple weeks since the fight. A couple weeks since her relationship with Paul was revealed and a couple weeks since her father beat her severe enough she'd taken 3 days off from school to recover.

Charli was spending the night at Jenny's, she hated being at home and did everything she could to avoid it.

"Yeah," she scoffed "Me shoulder is still really bothering me, that can't be a good thing"
"Well, cheer up luv," Jenny said warmly "The lads are coming over soon, we'll have a good bash in Woolton, just the teddies, so you can relax and your parents will be none the wiser."
"I've told you already Joe....If you'd let me bloody well finish, they're upstairs...no, you don't need to come over. Please. I'll bring her home in the morning..." they could hear Jenny's mother speak angrily into the phone.

Charli shook her head.
"C'mon, we should go help mum a bit before the lads turn up," Jenny said as they made their way downstairs.

Miss Jamison angrily washed dishes, Simon sat in the lounge drawing.
"Hey, mum" Jenny said approaching the kitchen "Need some help?"

Miss Jamison smiled.

"Of course," she passed a couple towels to Jenny and Charli.

"Sorry 'bout me dad," Charli said as she dried a glass and put it away.
"It's not yer fault lovey," she said looking at her sadly. Much as she and Jenny had done everything they could to hide the bruises, she still saw a slight hint of purple under Charli's eye.

She reached out to Charli and pushed a strand of her red hair behind her ear. Charli looked at her, noticing she had tears in her eyes.

"I'm alright, Miss Jamison" Charli said.

"I wish I'd known just how bad it was for you dear," she said "You don't deserve this"

Jenny crossed her arms "I'm so angry at how they treat you luv," she said as she clenched her teeth.

"I appreciate it...but I don't want to think about it, not now," Charli said finally.

"Well, you are always welcome here lovey" Jenny's mother smiled. There was a knock at the door. Jenny grinned and rushed to the door excitedly. Charli stayed to finish drying a few more dishes.

Paul and Neville stepped inside.
"Evening lads," Miss Jamison called from the kitchen. "Come inside, warm yerselves from the cold"

"Ta Miss Jamison," Paul said amiably shaking a bit of snow out of his hair.

"Is it snowing again?" Charli asked excitedly as she made her way to Paul. His arms went around her almost immediately.

"It is!" he said smiling at her. Since she was banned from seeing him and her parents had been more watchful of her whereabouts, they weren't able to see each other as often as they had been.
"Girls, come here for a moment" Miss Jamison said "Lads, why don't you see what Simon is up to"

"Sure thing," Neville said. Simon loved Neville, the small boy took a long time to warm up to people (and sometimes didn't at all), but he and Neville had become thick as thieves.

"I'll keep the door unlocked," Miss Jamison said "Now, I'm more than happy to cover for both of you, just....be careful"

"Thanks, mum," Jenny said hugging her. Charli smiled but said nothing.

Soon the four were in Neville's car, Jenny passed a cigarette back to Charli, "Ready for some fun?" she grinned at Charli.

"Always!" Charli grinned back. She snuggled in closer to Paul.

"John's aunt is away, he's been left to watch the house," Paul said "Perfect time to host a bash"

They laughed.
"Only teddies?" Charli asked. She had been worried about anyone else from school turning up.

"Only teddies" Jenny confirmed

Soon, they arrived at the Lennon household. John answered the door happily.

"HAPPY CRIMBLE!!" he said loudly as he hugged Paul.
"It's not Christmas yet, Johnny!" Paul laughed.
"Close enough," John said "Come in, party's already started"
John led the 4 into the large house. There was music playing and various snacks in the kitchen and people Charli and Jenny were familiar with.

"Jenny! Charli!" Claudia called as she ran to them "Finally made it!"

"Thanks for the greeting sis" Neville laughed.

"Pfft..I see your ugly mug every day" Claudia teased.

"We're twins...so, calling me ugly says a lot about you" he laughed.

"Yeah, that luckily one of us got the good looks" she grinned. She then turned to Charli "Charli luv, I'm really sorry about the other week...if we got ya's in trouble...."

"I'm fine!" Charli laughed "I don't want ya's feeling sorry for me, I'm here to have a bloody good time and I'm going to!"

"And what better way than with a couple lagers," Paul said bringing beers for Charli and Jenny. Charli grinned happily, It wasn't the first time she'd had alcohol, it wouldn't be the last.
"Cheers!" she said kissing him.

The night carried on, Charli had many laughs with the rest of the teddies and was never far from Paul.

They sat on a couch together, not really paying attention to the rest of the party. She sat with her legs draped over his lap, his arms around her waist.

"I wish I could see you more often," Charli said running her fingers through his hair.

"Me too luv," Paul said smiling "They can't keep us away from each other forever"

"You 'ave no idea how excited I was when Jenny tol' me you were coming to get us" she laughed before kissing him.
"I think you should show me" Paul smirked before kissing her again, Charli smiled into the kiss, running her hands through his hair as he pulled her closer.

"Alright, you two" John said sitting on the couch, putting an arm around Paul causing both Paul and Charli to jump. "I realise ya' don't see each other as much, but we didn't pay for the show"

"Sod off John" Paul laughed.
"We're not that bad!" Charli added.
"Well, I understand ya' can't have the mistletoe since Neville and Jenny have been snogging under it most of the night," John said before leaning in close to Paul "Seriously mate if ya' need to use the spare room upstairs..hell, use my room. I can change the sheets"

Paul's face turned red as John laughed.
"I'll cover for ya's if anyone asks, I know how much ya' miss each other" John said. Paul grinned at John then turned his attention to Charli again.
"I've got an idea," he said, "can ya' act like yer not feelin' well?"

Charli cocked her head "yes..why?"
"Just trust me luv," he said with a wink. Charli caught on.

"Thanks mate," Paul said to John "She really isn't feeling well, good lie down might help"

"Ya' alright luv?" they heard another Teddy Girl ask.
"I'll be alright," Charli said resting her head on Paul's shoulder "Just a headache...think I drank too much too fast"
"Ya' owe me Macca" John whispered. Paul winked.
Paul and Charli stood up from the couch, she stumbled slightly and rested her head on his shoulder. John watched as they made their way up the stairs, while he wanted to see his best mate happy, he was worried at what might come.
"Is everything alright, luv?" Cyn asked sitting next to John, jarring him from his thoughts. He smiled at her.
"Fine, luv," he said putting an arm around her.

"Someday luv," Paul said between kisses as they undressed "We'll have our own place...won't have to hide..."

"Shut it.." Charli laughed "We're here now...let's make the most of it"
Paul laughed softly "Always keeping me in check"

"Someone has to," she said as she tried removing her bra, she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder and winced.
"You alright?" Paul asked kissing her again.
"I'm fine" she lied, ignoring the pain. She'd gotten used to ignoring pain in the last year, especially in the last few months as her home became more violent.

"I hate what they do to ya', luv," Paul said as they laid in bed together. "Ya' can't tell me you're not in pain"
"I can fake it..." she shrugged.

"Glad ya' weren't faking other things a moment ago," he said pulling her close again. Charli laughed.
"Really though, it's not right how your parents treat you..." he said sadly.
Charli sighed as she sat up. Paul propped himself up instinctively.
"Did I say something wrong?" he asked. She smiled back at him.
"No..." she said finally "No, you didn't. I just feel like everyone feels sorry for me...I mean, I've built meself a reputation for being tough, other girls used to bully me, but no one tries anything with me now..except fuckin' Emily the other week...fuckin' twat..but everyone else who knows me..I'm just a fuckin' pity case because fighting back at home isn't the same..."
She didn't realise it, but there were tears in her eyes...she immediately wiped them away once she felt them.
"No one feels sorry for you luv," Paul said "We; me, Jenny, yer mates...are worried for ya'. But nobody pities you"
She smiled weakly. "I'll bash anyone who does" she smirked.
Paul laughed "That's my girl," he said "C'mon, we should get dressed and head downstairs...I'm sure they're starting to talk"

"Charli!" Jenny said excitedly as she and Paul reached the bottom of the stairs. Jenny threw her arms around Charli, knocking her into Paul and nearly causing Paul to fall over.
Charli laughed "Yer drunk, Jen!" she said.
"Shhhh..." Jenny hushed her "Feeling better?"
The look Jenny gave Charli said it all, she knew full well Charli hadn't been feeling unwell.

"Much better," Charli grinned "Paul took good care of me"

Jenny laughed as Paul turned red.

26 December 1959

"Charlotte," Mrs. McLeod called "Jenny is here"

Charli got up from her spot in front of the fire and set her recent sketch aside. The McLeod home looked and felt warm for a change, Mrs. McLeod didn't hold anything back in her decorating. It was the one time Charli had felt comfortable in the home in recent months.
"Jenny!" Charli said excitedly greeting her best mate "Happy Christmas luv!"
"Happy Christmas to you!" Jenny said hugging Charli.

"Yes, Merry Christmas Jennifer," Mr. McLeod said from the kitchen. Jenny nodded to him. Much as he was amiable, she still held a strong dislike of him.
"I got ya' a Christmas present!" Charli said excitedly, interrupting Jenny from her thoughts. "C'mon, it's in me room"
"Great! I got ya's one as well" Jenny said as the two ran up the stairs excitedly.
Charli closed the door behind them as they reached her room.
"Yer parents are fuckin' weird," Jenny said finally.

"Yeah," Charli said, "I know...they're always really nice this time of the year."
Jenny rolled her eyes as Charli dug into her dresser.
She retrieved a small gift.

"Happy Christmas Jen," She said handing it to her "Thanks for always being there...I don't think I can imagine life without ya's"
Jenny opened her present revealing a small Moleskine journal.
"Figure, you like writing...it's not much" Charli shrugged.
"Thanks, Charli," Jenny said "hey, we should make a book together! With my writing and your artwork, we can't lose!"
Charli laughed "Nah, I think my art would destroy anything you wrote".
"Oh! I almost forgot," Jenny said handing a small gift to Charli.
Charli opened it excitedly. It was a small sketchbook.
"I couldn't think of anything more perfect" Jenny laughed "Plus yer always running out"
"Ta luv," Charli said. She then grinned "Did you talk to him?"

"Bloody Hell!" Jenny laughed "Is that all I mean to you?"

"Of course not!" Charli said indignantly "Just most.."
Jenny stuck out her tongue.

"If you must know, yes...I did" She said.
"And?!?" Charli said excitedly.
"He's planning to stop by yer window tonight," Jenny said finally "around nine"

Charli grinned "I hope he likes what I made for him"

Jenny rolled her eyes "You're so adorable"

"Sod off!" Charli laughed.

The tea kettle whistled loudly, Charli picked it off the burner and poured herself a tea.

"Should auld acquaintance be fergot...an ne'er brought ta' mine..." She could hear her father drunkenly slur in the front room. Immediately she felt uneasy, she glanced at the clock.

8.30pm

She momentarily stepped into the front room seeing her mother knitting by the fire as her father sat in his chair with a large glass of brown liquid.
"Did you have a good time with Jenny?" Mrs. McLeod asked.

"Yeah, mum.." she said sipping her tea. "I think I'm going ta' bed a little early tonight"
"Tha' Jenny..." Mr. McLeod said as he took another drink "She's goin' ta' end up like her mother..."

Charli fought the rage boiling inside of her.
"Goodnight, mum and da'" she said as she made her way upstairs, not allowing herself to hear what Mr. McLeod thought of her friends.
She reached her room and closed the door and sighed in relief. Her parents hadn't allowed her to lock her door since the fight.

"He's drunk enough he'll probably pass out in his chair anyway..."Charli thought, hoping for the best.

She sat on her bed and picked up her sketchbook to work on the recent piece she'd been working on.

There was a light tap at the window. She smiled as she drew back the curtain.

She opened the window.
"Happy Christmas luv," Paul said. She could see his breath on the air.

"It's bloody freezing!" Charli said noticing the sudden cold drift into her room.

"You're not out in it!" Paul laughed.
"Well, get inside...don't want ya's to freeze!" she said "Just be quiet...they're downstairs"

"Quiet as a mouse" Paul winked as he climbed in through the window. Charli closed it behind them.

"They don't let me lock the door anymore," she said "So, we have to be extra careful"
"Aren't ya' more worried?" Paul asked as his eyes went wide.
"Yes...but also, da' is downstairs on the piss,  he'll probably just pass out soon," she said quietly as she checked the door "He probably won't be able to get out of his chair...much less up the stairs"
Paul shook his head.
"Anyway, Happy Christmas!" she said happily as she sat close to him on the bed. Paul smiled.

He held her close.
"I did bring you a couple gifts," he said. "First," he took small toy raccoon from his jacket. "His name's Rocky. Least that's what I called him, I know you like raccoons...I saw him and thought you could use a friend when your parents get potty"

Charli smiled as he handed the stuffed toy to her, she looked into the glass eyes of the toy and hugged Paul.

"Thank you, he's perfect," she said.

"I'm not done!" Paul laughed softly. He then pulled a sketchpad much like the one he'd gotten her for her birthday from his jacket "Bloody hard carrying all that up the ladder" he laughed handing it to her.
"Happy Christmas! And Happy two years" he smiled before kissing her. 

It had been 2 years since the first time Charli snuck out of her home to go for a walk with Paul late one boxing day eve. She remembered it well, her parents had gone to bed early, she quietly made her way out through the back door. She thought they were meeting Jenny, but as they passed Jenny's house without a second thought heading for Strawberry Field, she knew it was only them. She'd never been alone with Paul until that night, she'd been growing feelings for him and had been excited, especially when they shared their first kiss at Strawberry Field.

"Happy two years," Charli smiled warmly before remembering "Oh! I got you something as well...it's not much..."

She reached under the bed and pulled out a gift wrapped in fabric.
"I couldn't wrap it, because of them," she said. It was true, she couldn't use the family wrapping paper, her parents would've asked questions as she'd already wrapped gifts for Jenny, stealing some fabric from her mother's sewing was easier.

Paul unraveled the fabric to find a framed image. She had painted images of various memories of their 2 years together, at the centre was an image from a photo Claudia had taken during the first night at The Casbah.

"The paper is a little funny because it wasn't really made for watercolours" she said nervously.

Paul set the painting down on the bed and smiled at her.
"Its perfect luv," he said before kissing her cheek.

"I've been working on it since some time in September, I had to keep hiding it" she laughed quietly.
"I love ya' Charli," he said "Someday, I'm going ta' marry ya's"

"Marry me??" Charli blushed "I'm only 16!" she laughed.
"That's why I said someday" Paul laughed before kissing her. She wrapped her arms around him as he ran his fingers through her hair, just as they were becoming lost in each other she heard a noise stumbling up the stairs, Charli pulled away, her heart racing.

"Everything alright, luv?" Paul asked
"Shh.." she hushed him.
"CHARLOTTE!" Her father's drunken voice called as he reached the hallway "YA' LEFT THE KETTLE ON THE COUNTER! THERE'S A BLOODY MARK!"

"Oh fuck..oh no no no" Charli said as she rushed to gather herself up, Paul suddenly snapping into reality.
"Shite!" he said trying to gather his gift and make his way to the window before he could the bedroom door flung open.

"CHARL-" her father said as he opened the door, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL??"
His face was already red from the alcohol but went bright crimson as he saw Paul in the room.
"Da' it's not what you think!" Charli said as her father stormed toward her at lightning speed.

He reached her and pulled her up violently by her upper arm, she screamed in pain as the shoulder that still hadn't healed felt another pop.
"Its exactly what I think it is!" he yelled angrily dragging her out of her room, he threw her into the hallway, she stumbled and hit the ground crying in pain.

"Mr. McLeod!" Paul shouted "STOP! You're going to hurt her!"
"You! Stay out of this...get home before I deal with you too" he shouted as he picked Charli up and slammed her against the wall hard.
"WHAT DID WE SAY?" he said hitting her hard across the face "WHAT WERE YOU STRICTLY FORBIDDEN TO DO?"
"Da'..." Charli croaked, she felt like she was going to pass out from pain. He hit her again, blood dripped from her nose. Paul, who was in shock at what he was seeing rushed to her.
"I didn't raise a whore!" Mr. McLeod yelled before hitting her again "And we are going to get the devil out of you if its the last thing I do!"
Suddenly, Mr. McLeod jerked back.
"Leave her alone, you bastard!" Paul yelled as he grabbed Mr. McLeod by the shoulder, he was a bear of a man, Paul didn't care and was ready to fight. Charli fell to the floor.
"I told ya' ta' stay out of this" He glared at Paul, then grabbed him by the collar of his coat. "I'm marchin' ya' straight ta' yer da'...tell him all about what I saw..."
"Paul.." Charli said softly as she tried getting up.

Mr. McLeod marched Paul down the stairs.

"Joseph," Mrs. McLeod called "What's going on? Don't ya' think yer a little hard on her for the kettle?"
"Molly, this has nothing to do with the kettle," he said.
"Let go of me!" Paul said angrily. Mrs. McLeod's eyes went wide as she threw her hands over her mouth.
"Go check on the girl," Mr. McLeod instructed "I'm bringing this heathen to his father"

"Charli!" Paul called "I swear to God, I am getting you out of here!"
The door slammed and Paul and Mr. McLeod were gone.

Charli laid in the hallway in pain and emotionally destroyed. Her lip was split, there was still blood dripping from her nose, her face was bruised and her arm hung limply over her side. She sobbed knowing everything was gone. She hadn't even heard her mother come up the stairs.
"Oh, dear" Molly sighed "Best be getting you to hospital"
"Paul..." Charli said through tears.

"You'll not be seeing him again, come now. Get up" Mrs. McLeod said "If anyone asks, ya' fell down the stairs. Best be on our way"

There was a loud pounding on the door, James looked to his younger son, Michael confused.

"Who on earth do you suppose that could be?" He asked.

"I'm keen ta' find out," Michael said mischievously.
"Joseph!" James said as he opened the door "What can I-"
Mr. McLeod shoved Paul into the doorway.

"Enough with yer formalities, McCartney" Mr. McLeod slurred "I caught this bastard in me daughter's bed"

"Yeah? And you beat her bloody and left her in the hallway alone!" Paul screamed with tears in his eyes.

"Paul, let me handle this," James said coolly, as Mikey held Paul back..unsuccessfully.
"Now, Mr. McLeod," James began calmly "I know my sons. They can be right tossers from time to time.."
"If ya' didn't let them run wild-" Mr. McLeod seethed.
"IF you'll let me finish," James said abruptly. Mr. McLeod was taken aback, no one had ever stepped over him in conversation.

"As I was saying," James continued "I know Paul and Mikey aren't perfect, they catch hell from me when they've done something stupid. But I also know, how they've been raised and how their mother raised them before she passed on. They're good lads, Paul and Charli care very much for each other and I warned you this would happen if you tried to stop it"
"If I catch him near her again..I'll..I'll," Mr. McLeod said drunkenly.
"Mr. McLeod," James said "If you lay one hand on either of my boys, there will be Hell to pay. Let me assure you! Now, you're drunk...go home before I call the police"
Mr. McLeod glared at the McCartneys before he turned to leave and James shut the door.

"Da'! We have to do something" Paul said anxiously "He'll hurt her again, we hafta' save her"

"Paul, have a seat," James said leading Paul to the front room "Mikey? Mind fetching some tea? Yer brother's had a bad night"
"Ok Da'" Mikey said heading for the kitchen.
"I don't need tea," Paul said trying to get up "We need to help her!"
James guided Paul to sit down again, he'd never seen his son in such a state.
"Paul, I'm afraid there's nothing much we can do," James said in a calm voice.
"What do you mean?" Paul said angrily as tears stung at his eyes "We have to!"
"Paul," James said calmly "If we get any more involved it could get much worse for her"

"Make sure to take your pain medicine before bed" Mrs. McLeod called up the stairs.

Charli laid on her bed staring at the ceiling.
Her face was a mass of bruises, she held a tissue to her swollen lip. Her other arm remained in a sling, her mind was drowning in thoughts and fears. She heard a noise outside her window, she sat up, wincing in pain to see what the noise was.
She saw her father below, cursing after removing the ladder and storming off into the garden.
Soon after, there was a chopping noise. Charli peaked out the window to see Mr. McLeod taking an ax to the wooden ladder.

"MOLLY!" He yelled before going back inside the house.
Charli pulled the covers over herself, pulling Rocky close to her and sobbed knowing everything was over.

"Molly!" Mr. McLeod said upon entering the house "We're moving"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N:  as I warned, this gets dark...there are still happy moments in future updates, but overall. its dark and this wasn't easy to write...however, this song sort of sprung the idea originally and that this would be a huge turning point (I had the idea yeeeeears ago).

Anyway, I'll try to have another update next week (I caught up to myself in writing this!  I'm usually a couple chapters ahead, oops!) As always, thank you for reading!  and thanks for the votes/comments/follows :D

https://youtu.be/9yKk-3TD7tk