"I wanna hold the hand inside you, I wanna take the breath that's true" ~Fade Into You - Mazzy Star  

29th August 1959

"Bloody hell...I still look like shite" Charli said looking in the bathroom mirror, she'd just finished showering and was hoping by now her bruises would have disappeared. However, there were still a few varying colours of purples, blues, and greens. It was Saturday, The Quarrymen would be starting their residency at The Casbah Club that night and it was her second birthday celebration. She had hoped her face would be healed by then.

When she was younger, her reaction to her father's anger was fear and submission. As she stared at her face in the mirror, inspecting the bruise...she didn't feel fear, she felt anger.

"Fuck him, ruined my birthday..." she said as she got dressed.

Mr. and Mrs. McLeod sat at the dining room table eating breakfast. Charli appeared at the foot of the stairs.
"Morning Charlotte," her father said somewhat warmly. Her eyes narrowed, since her birthday...it seemed like everything that had happened, was simply forgotten.

"How did you sleep dearie?" her mother asked.

"Fine. thanks." Charli bit as she grabbed a couple slices of toast.

"Charlotte, why don't you join us for breakfast?" Mr. McLeod smiled "I know you've woken a bit late sleepy head, but your mother made a lovely Saturday morning breakfast"

"I'm fine, thanks, da'" She said spreading a bit of jam on her toast with only a bit of difficulty and ate it quickly without sitting at the table. She threw on the leather jacket Paul had borrowed her a few days earlier and started for the door.

"Charlotte, where are you going?" Mrs. McLeod asked.

"To Jenny's...and yes, I'm going like this," she said sarcastically indicating the outfit she'd chosen.
"Wait, before you go," Mr. McLeod said standing up. Charli rolled her eyes expecting another lecture.

"We know you were upset after your mistake last weekend, so to show you we're not monsters" he began. Charli was about to interrupt when he continued "We've decided to extend your curfew, be home by midnight"
"Just for tonight though," her mother added.

"Gee, thanks, mum and dad," she said, her voice was dripping with sarcasm which somehow they didn't pick up on and prided themselves on being good parents after she was out the door.

Charli lit herself a ciggie as she walked to Jenny's house, while she was still angry at her parents for her birthday...and confused that her reaction lately had been anger and not fear, she was also excited for that night. She thought back on things Paul had said a few days earlier.

"One day Charli, this band is going to really take off!" He had just come from a session with John and George "When that happens, I'm taking you with me"

"I'm not yer groupie" she laughed.

"Of course not!" He said "But we need someone to capture us as good as you do, plus...I want me girl with me when I'm famous"

She laughed. She didn't doubt their talents would take them further than Liverpool, she had no idea what the future would bring, however.

Charli knocked on the Jamison's door.

"Hey Charli," Jenny answered the door, she was a bit quiet given they had both been counting down the days until the 29th.
"Hey Jen, everything alright?" Charli asked.

"Fine," she smiled "Mind if we go for a walk for a wee while? I'll help ya' fix up yer bruise after"
"Sure.." Charli said a bit confused "You're sure everything is ok?"

Jenny sighed "Simon had a bit of a meltdown at the park, another boy took his favourite elephant on a lark...it wasn't pretty...mum is just trying to calm him down. It's easier if no one else is around when he's like this, you understand, yeah?"

Charli nodded.

"Its just hard sometimes," Jenny said as the two shared a batch of chips. Jenny was one of the toughest girls in their neighborhood, she felt like she had to be as she was constantly defending her little brother when he'd had an episode and standing up for her mother.
"Honestly Jen, I don't see why everyone judges your family so harsh...Simon is lovely and your mum does everything she can for both of you" Charli said finally.

"Thanks, Charli" Jenny smiled "I'm probably just being a bit oversensitive"

Just then they heard 3 voices singing loudly as they entered the pub, Charli perked up while Jenny sunk lower.

"Aw c'mon Jen, you know none of the lads care about your family stuff," Charli said.

"It's not that, John and I.." she raised her eyebrows suggestively. Charli went wide-eyed.

"Really?" she whispered. Jenny nodded.

"Yeah...but he's back with Cyn and I just..I'm embarrassed" she confessed.
"You're still coming tonight?" Charli asked. They'd been spotted and John, Paul, and George were making their way to them.

"Of course I am!" Jenny said, "I'm not some mopey little girl over him!"

"Hey girls," George said "Ready for tonight?"

"I think that's the most I've heard you talk George!" Charli laughed.

"Are you serious? He never shuts his gob at rehearsal" Paul laughed putting an arm around George.

"Sod off!" George laughed. The excitement from the 3 was contagious.

"Hey Jen," John said coolly.

"Hi John," she said, "Are you talking to me now?"

"Aw come off it, I already apologised...it was a mistake," he said.

"Right," she said going back to ignoring him "Charli, we should get going if we're going to get ready for tonight"

"So you're actually coming?" John said nervously. He knew Cyn was going to be there as well.

"'Course I am!" Jenny said "I'm celebrating me best mate's birthday and supporting Paul and George on their first night at the Casbah"

"Well, fine!" John said angrily.

"Fine!" Jenny said as she turned on her heel and left. Charli gave an apologetic look to Paul.
"See ya' tonight luv," he said kissing her cheek and giving her a wink.

"I'm sure Jenny will be calmed down by then," Charli said as she left.

"So...you and John, huh?" Charli asked as they sat in Jenny's room, Jenny finding the right shade of makeup for Charli.
"Ugh...I don't want to think about that arse" Jenny said. "Right, I think I found the palest shade possible" she laughed.

"C'mon Jen, you can tell me," Charli said as she exhaled a puff of smoke from her cigarette.

"There's not much to tell, he and Cyn were on the outs, me and him flirted for awhile...we had sex, 2 days later he's back with Cyn and acting like I don't exist" she shrugged. "Just feeling a bit foolish"

Charli shook her head "Don't feel foolish, I thought they were on the outs for good this time" she admitted. "You going to be ok? She'll be there tonight"

"I don't care," Jenny said, "everyone thinks I'm going to cause drama or say something to her, really...I just want to have a fun night out, plus...I heard the song Macca wrote for you"

Charli's eyes widened, "Really?? Do you remember how it goes? Sing me a bit"

Jenny laughed "No way! I promised it'd be a surprise...now, are you going to put your ciggie down so I can help ya' with your bruise?"
Charli pouted her lip.

"Don't pout at me, you know that never works" Jenny laughed as she started touching up Charli's face.

Charli sighed "I think I'm in love with him, Jen," she said.

"Well, that's obvious" Jenny laughed. "Pretty sure he feels the same"

"I hate that I'm sounding all sloshy..." Charli laughed as Jenny blended the makeup making her bruise almost invisible.

"There, no one will know," Jenny said showing her a mirror.

"I think since we're going out tonight, it calls for a little more" Jenny winked.

"We shouldn't take too long getting pretty" Charli teased "Its a long walk from here to the Casbah"

"We're not walking, I found us a ride" Jenny grinned.

"Neville, Claudia...This is Charli" Jenny introduced as they got into the car of 2 older teens. Charli recognised them, Claudia was a year ahead of her and Jenny, she'd seen Jenny talking with her many times but had never been formally introduced. Neville was her twin brother.

"Pleasure" Neville smiled reaching a hand back to Charli. She shook it amicably.

Claudia turned back "So, you're that bird McCartney is stuck on" she seemed annoyed.
"What of it?" Charli said boldly. Claudia laughed as she exhaled her cigarette.

"Nothing luv," she said "Just half the girls in my year are seethingly jealous at you"
"Does everyone know about us?" Charli laughed.
"All the teddies know, and we know to keep it quiet," Claudia said "The rest of the girls just know he's fond of ya's"

"I just hope Sally Prescott never finds out," Charli said "She'd love to get me in trouble"
"That little blonde thing in your year? Relax," Claudia said "If she does, I can suss her out"

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Charli asked "You don't even know me"

"You're a teddy girl," Claudia said, "We stick together."
She winked as they drove on.

Soon, they arrived. It was still light out, although, it was a dreary day...it hadn't rained yet, but a storm seemed to be in the air. The four made their way down the stairs into the newly opened Casbah Club, there were already quite a few their age milling around, talking excitedly and flirting.
Charli saw a few of her classmates as well, it seemed every young person in Liverpool was turning up for the new club's opening.
They made their way to get a few cokes before heading to the room the band would be playing in. The club itself wasn't very big, it was in the basement of the club owner's home, already there were enough people inside to make it seem tiny!
Charli and Jenny muscled their way through the crowds to grab drinks for their group.
"We've already got a spot up front!" Claudia called through the crowd.

"4 cokes!" Charli shouted to the barman over the crowds.

"Can you believe this?" Jenny said loudly "Open a club for teens and they come out from everywhere!"
Charli laughed.

"Hey, are you the one celebratin' yer birthday?" the man behind the bar asked.
"Yeah" Charli shouted.
"Drinks are on the house!" he said happily "Also, where are ya' sitting? The band got a cake for ya's"

"I don't think we'll be sitting" Charli laughed.
"I'll keep it back here for ya's," he said "You and yer lot are free to it before anyone else"
Charli grinned at Jenny "I have a feeling tonight's going to make up for the ruined birthday last weekend"
"That's the spirit" Jenny laughed as they took their drinks and tried not to spill too much on their way to find Claudia and Neville.

"Over here!" Claudia called. The band was finishing setting up their instruments, Charli and Jenny again, pushed through to get to Claudia and Neville. They saw Cyn sitting nearby.
"Want me to rough her up a bit?" Claudia said to Jenny.
"Fuck sakes! I'm over it" she laughed "s'not her fault anyway"
Claudia laughed "Alright, alright...I'll play nice"
"Charli luv!" Paul's familiar voice called as he spotted her passing a drink to Claudia. She passed her drink to Jenny as Paul reached her and pulled her into a hug.

"Excited?" he asked her.
"Of course!" she grinned "Think I may have spilled a bit of Jenny's drink on yer jacket"
"Its alright luv," he said, "wish us luck!"

They kissed, Jenny and Claudia in the background catcalling.
"Getting a bit more daring, aren't we?" Jenny said as Charli turned back to her group.

Charli shrugged "I doubt anyone here is going to run off to my parents"
"I like this new devil may care bit you're pulling" Jenny nudged Charli and handed her drink to her. Charli smirked.

"I think I need another coke," Charli said to Jenny as the band finished a song. They'd been dancing for a long while, there were people everywhere and no air conditioning. They were starting to feel it.
"Hold on, hold on," Jenny said "Just one more song"
"Well, um...this song is a new one" Paul started, "I wrote it awhile back.."

"While cutting class" John laughed.

"Right...I wrote this for someone special, hope she likes it!" Paul said.
"Happy birthday, Charli" George added. John started off by playing harmonica, the song was a bit different than the usual Little Richard, Chuck Berry or other rockers they played.

Love, love me do
You know I love you
I'll always be true
So please, love me do
Whoa, love me do

Charli and Jenny danced to the new song together, Jenny leaned in "Surprised?"
Charli laughed "Best birthday present ever!" she shouted just as the song wrapped up. Claudia, Neville, Jenny and the band laughed. Charli, while only a little embarrassed, laughed as well.

The band had finished playing, but the night was still young and the crowd still hung around the club, the owners played records to keep the night going. Phil Philips Sea of Love was playing, a few couples were dancing together, most were standing around talking. Charli found herself in Paul's arms.

"Your song," she said "You really..." somehow she couldn't get the words out.
"Love you?" Paul smiled "'Course I do!"
She bit her lip and smiled at him "I love you too"
They kissed warmly.

Two girls stood nearby talking, the night had everyone excited.
"Oh, just go tell him you thought they were good," a girl with mousy brown hair said to her friend.
"He seems a bit...preoccupied," her friend said.
"So? C'mon, yer actually his age" the brown haired girl said, "And you don't have to say anything more than you thought he played well."
"He is cute though," the blonde said "but you're right"

"What time do you have to be home tonight, luv?" Paul asked Charli.
"Midnight," she said as she smiled into another kiss.
"Well...it's only 9:30 now," he smiled "Do you want to come back to my house for awhile?"

"Really, and what would we do there?" Charli laughed. Paul simply smirked and kissed her again.
"Excuse me," a voice said suddenly. Both Paul and Charli looked up "I don't mean to interrupt, but just wanted to say..you were really good"

Paul smiled "Ta very much," he said.
"My names Dot," She continued "Just wanted to introduce myself"

"Nice to meet you," Paul said amiably.
"Yeah, pleasure" Charli added making herself known. Soon Dot and her friend were walking out of the club giggling together.
"What do ya' say luv?" Paul asked reminding Charli of his suggestion.
"Sure," she said smiling at him.
"Charli!" Jenny said as she and Neville approached her loudly. "What time did you want to leave? I know you've got a later curfew than normal, so we could live it up a little!"Jenny laughed.
"I think, I'm going to go home with Paul," Charli said.

"Really?" Jenny said raising her eyebrows "Neville, you mind catching up with Paul a moment?"

Charli expected Jenny's response and was whisked away by her best friend as the two lads chatted.

"You're going home with Paul then?" Jenny asked with a smirk.
"Yeah? It's not like it's the first time I've been to his house" Charli laughed.
"Right...it's late...the 2 of you have been getting awfully close lately...what are you going to be doing Charlotte Anne McLeod?" Jenny said mockingly putting her hands on her hips.

"I dunno', listening to music...snogging...stuff..."Charli said turning red.
"Aw, our little Charli is growing up!" Jenny said putting an arm around Charli's shoulders.
"Oh sod off!" Charli laughed. Jenny laughed too.

"Whatever happens luv, just be careful alright?" Jenny said seriously "Just don't want ta' see ya' with a repeat of your birthday."

"I know, I'll be careful...I've got a better way of sneaking in if I am late" Charli winked.

After many nights of sneaking out, she'd figured out a way to prop her window only slightly open with a small knotted towel. It would look completely closed from the inside, but it gave a way for her to pull it open and sneak inside.

"Right, Charli," Jenny said after they'd all figured out what they were doing for the rest of the evening "I'll let Claudia know its just the 3 of us staying and I'll come by tomorrow after church. I have a feeling you'll be confessin' a lot of sins and I want to hear about 'em" she laughed crossing herself. Charli rolled her eyes.
"Oi, Macca!" John called "If yer planning to bail, we're leaving now...I'm bloody exhausted."
"Yeah, we're going Johnny" he called back.
"See ya' tomorrow Jen," Charli said as they walked off.

The ride back to Paul's house was filled with laughs and excitement from the night despite the band feeling tired from a day of practice and performing, John was driving, George sat up front while Paul and Charli sat in the back seat.

"Yeah, Pete's an alright drummer I guess," John said finally "It did help our songs along"
"Should we ask him to play again?" Paul said.

"Suppose we hafta', his mum owns the club!" George laughed.

Soon after they arrived at Paul's house. "See ya' tomorrow lads!" he said as he and Charli got out of the car.
"You lot were amazing tonight!" Charli added.

"Thanks, luv," John said just before the door was closed and he drove off.
Paul opened the door quietly, his brother Mike had already gone home earlier in the evening "Da' will be asleep" he whispered. "Mikey might be.."

"I'll be quiet as a mouse" Charli whispered as they snuck up the stairs.

Once they reached Paul's room, he closed the door quietly and locked it behind him.

Charli hung Paul's coat on the post of his bed and sat on the mattress. She was nervous but knew she wanted to be there, Paul smiled at her as he approached the bed.
Normally, Charli didn't show much skin, but as she sat on the bed in her jeans and the singlet she had been wearing under the jacket, it was clear she wasn't a kid anymore, she may have been small but she had a figure, which her parents made a point of making her cover, in some ways she felt they were afraid of what puberty had done to her, in turn, it made her insecure if anyone noticed.

"You're gorgeous kitten," Paul said as he sat beside her and ran his hands over the curves he'd gotten to know. Charli smirked and pulled him in for a kiss as she unbuttoned his shirt, he ran his hands up her sides under her shirt, he was a little surprised at how forward she was but didn't mind. She broke away for a moment to remove her shirt, she seemed nervous underneath everything.

"We don't have to do this luv," Paul said sensing her nerves.

"I know," Charli said as she unbuttoned the last button on his shirt "I want to though"
They kissed again as Paul removed his shirt and they laid back on his bed.

Once they were both fully undressed, Paul pulled the covers over them.
"I have no idea what I'm doing" Charli laughed softly "I might not be very good" She was aware, that unlike herself, this was not his first time.

"Its fine luv" Paul smiled "I love you, that's what matters"

After walking to Charli's home, both a bit drunk on each other. Charli and Paul kissed goodnight after sneaking her back into her room.
"I'll see you tomorrow luv," he said quietly "I'll meet ya' at the pier after the band finishes rehearsing"
"Alright," she smiled "See you then, love you"
"Love ya' too," he winked as he made his way down the ladder. Charli closed her window once he was gone. She changed into an oversized t-shirt she wore to bed and smiled as she fell asleep knowing everything had changed somehow.

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A/N: hoping I've still got readers...sorry its been awhile!  Been a bit crazy busy.  Let me know what you think, I appreciate the feedback :)

Also,  I will be on a break for the next 2 - 3 weeks as I'll be overseas.  If I can find time to update while I'm away, I will!

https://youtu.be/oJ9E0mC9Cwk