The inside of the tent looked a little bigger than I expected. And for the tent of a bandit leader, it had a certain rustic ambient. For one, it had a real bed. It looked like hastily crafted from sticks and stones found in the forest, but it was a bed, and compared to the bedroll I was currently sleeping in at night, it looked really comfortable. It also had a table and a footstool crafted in the same manner - either the bandit boss was a craftsman, or someone in his camp was very handy with tools.

Apart from that, it all looked very chaotic. Weapons and gear lying around everywhere, also some valuables like silver cups and plates - apparently loot. In one corner on a large piece of fur on the ground the boss apparently stored his rope collection, but in a very untidy manner, rolled up and knotted inefficiently. The biggest eye-catcher in here was the far right corner of the tent - a very large collection of bottles. Only some of them were empty. I remembered the comment of Garbus back in the tavern about this kingdom's economy. You couldn't get a horse or a decent weapon for 100 gold pieces, but alcohol was so insanely cheap. Thankfully, so was food, otherwise the entire kingdom would be permanently wasted.

The bandit chief invited me in and stepped towards the bundle of ropes on the ground. Only when it started moving and groaning, I realized that there was a person inside. With one swift move the boss pulled off a bag from the top of this bundle.

"Mmmpf!"

The bag revealed the face of a woman. She looked at the boss and me with fury in her eyes. I couldn't blame her. Apart from being wrapped up from head to toe in rope, which had to be most uncomfortable, she also had a gag in her mouth that was held in with another piece of rope. The look she gave me was uncomfortable, too - but for me. She examined me from top to bottom, and her eyes became smaller when she had her first impression of me.

"Mmf hm hmpf hmhmm?"

"Well, you're not exactly who I was expecting either," I answered with a bit of hurt pride. "My name is Reinhardt."

"Mmpfhmm?" She thought about it for a while, trying to remember where she had heard the name before. I guessed that she was one of those fancy city folks that the boss had been talking about earlier. "Hmpf, hm mfmhm."

I cowered down next to her. The boss did not intervene. I gave her a little smile. "Elynea. That's a nice name. Pleased to meet you."

The boss looked at me, completely lost. "You can understand what she's saying?"

For some strange reason I could. I told him so. "Then why the hell did we gag you in the first place?" he bellowed at the woman. The series of groans that the woman gave as an answer, I decided to deliberately not understand. Something about the shortness of his... If I ever got to tell this tale, there were certain things better left out in a respectable establishment or under the ears of children.

"So that's the big troublemaker you worry about?" I asked the boss. "I was expecting something else entirely."

"Oh yeah, she's trouble, alright," the boss admitted. "She's been here for an entire month now, drinking our booze, eating our food. And she won't leave."

I looked down at the thoroughly trussed up body of the woman. Seriously? "I wonder why..." I murmured sarcastically.

Elynea groaned and mumbled into the two pound piece of cloth between her teeth, and the boss basically said the same thing as if he understood her, too: "She said that she would only leave if she was properly rescued by someone."

"Rescued?" Now, as a bard I totally understood that sentiment. How many tales had I told about the knight in shining armor rescuing the fair maiden from peril, just to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after together? Like some men dreamt of being that hero in the story, I suppose that there were women who dreamt of being that maiden, too. Though... A strange thought came to my mind:

"Say... why did you tie her up like this?" I pointed at the ropes. "Is she dangerous?"

"She insisted," the boss answered. Making the situation not the least bit weird. "Also... she bites."

"Hmpf hm hmf hmhm," Elynea responded with a level of sarcasm that I surely appreciated. I grinned.

"I didn't know you've met my mother."

"Hmm hmm!"

I felt sympathy for those bandits. If that was how she treated a potential savior, I didn't want to know what sort of verbal abuse she had in store for her captors. "Good man," I turned back to the bandit leader. "The gold that I gave you - would that be enough to buy her freedom?"

The bandit leader scoffed. "Honestly? A copper piece would be enough. That's not the issue." He lowered his voice a little, suddenly sounding like a totally different person. "Listen, we might be bandits and robbers, but we're not such bad people. We could have killed her or just sent her into the woods to be eaten by wild animals. But we didn't - we don't want her to come to any harm. But she wouldn't leave until a hero comes and saves her from us. She says it..." The hesitation before the next word told me everything I needed to know. "... excites her."

"Oh, you mean..." Yeah, I understood completely. "So how shall this 'saving' take place, according to her?"

"Well, first of all the hero needs to fight his way through the entire camp and defeat us." Again I was examined, but now by the eyes of the bandit leader. "Can you do this, fancy bard?"

For a moment I toyed with that idea. He seemed a good sport about all of this, and also he seemed a bit desperate. But a look at his face, and I knew he wouldn't give me any lenience. Neither would his followers. If I wanted to fight to get this woman out, I would have to do it for real. Considering my skills in a fight, it would be instant death.

"I'm afraid not," was my honest answer. Elynea moaned disappointed, and even the bandit boss seemed miffed. "But I know someone who could. As a matter of fact, I travel with him - he is just the right man for this."

"Hmpf hmm hmmpf hmhmmhm." The spirits of the captured woman were up again. "Hmm?"

"His name is Garbus," I answered.

"Garbus?" The bandit chief stared at me with a surprised face. "You mean... the Garbus?"

Elynea showed a similar reaction. "Hm Hmhm Hmhm?"

I sometimes wish I had this reputation. Everybody knew Garbus - well, yes, he is a hero, but I am a freaking bard! Being known to the public is kind of important to my trade. "The Garbus Garbus," I confirmed to the rope bundle on the ground. "The hero of Nivella."

Even through her thick gag I could hear her laugh. "Hmmm, hmpf hm hmpf hmm hmpfmh!" she estimated the low chance of success for the Butt Kickers of the Silent Forest.

The bandit boss looked at me grimly. "What did she say?"

I smiled. If this was going to work out, she would indeed make a fine travel companion. "Well... I could translate it for you, but just to not hurt your feelings too much: She saw a strange correlation between the name you chose for your bandit group and what she expects to happen to you and your group in the near future."

"Going at those fancy words again, eh, bard?" There was the old tone again. I almost missed it. "Now, what is she saying?"

"That you should change your name, because you are going to get your asses kicked."