Lapis laid in the hayloft. Feeling depressed.

She and Peridot had had great times together that afternoon. But Peri had left to sell the robonoids, and she had stayed behind.

Now she could only think about Jasper. And Homeworld. And how beautiful it had been before Earth came along.

Jasper...

She had loved Jasper. Jasper said she loved her. She believed it too. What a fool she was.

And she was so stupid, until the day Jasper asked her to fuse into Malachite. And then she knew, because as soon as Jasper grabbed her hand, she could feel it. She could feel Jasper's anger and that sick sense of victory as Malachite's eyes opened. She had to make a decision.

So she pulled herself and Jasper under the entire ocean.

And she fought her, for three months of solitary darkness. And then Jasper won.

That was when the Crystal Gems, who she had betrayed so horribly by agreeing to become Malachite, saved her life.

And Jasper would come back for her. The Diamonds would come for her. Everyone would come. She would die, as would Peridot and everyone else she ever cared about--

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGh!" She yelled, sitting up. She had fallen asleep again. She shook with fear at her nightmare, sweat pouring down her body, tears leaking out of her eyes.

"No..." She whispered.

Where was Peridot?

Peridot was selling robonoids.

So Lapis was on her own.

She wanted Peridot. She needed Peridot. She wanted Peridot to kiss her, kiss her like Jasper did, but not like Jasper. Because all Jasper wanted was her body and her powers. She wanted Peridot to love her for her.

Wait... what am I saying...

Do I  like Peridot? Like that?

But there was no Peridot. So Lapis went downstairs and made herself coffee. She tried to drink it, but she felt sick. So she went back upstairs.

She couldn't stop the tears. She dove into the hay to hide. The dry edges of the hay pricked her skin and made her bleed, but she didn't care. She deserved it, for letting Jasper control her like a puppet.

When she crawled back out, she could see Peridot in the yard. She noticed pricks of blood from the hay all over her body, and put on a jacket to hide them.

She put on her best smile and went to the door.

"P-peridot! How'd it go!?" She asked.

"Good."

"Oh, that's great!"

"Wait a sec. What's with the jacket? It's like a million degrees out here."

"Uhm... I'm cold."

"But it's like, so hot out."

"Yeah, but it's cold in the hayloft, so,"

"If you say so."

Lapis sighed.

Thank god that landed.