Dear diary

At the most basic sense, I'm scared of love.

Love is a powerful, beautiful thing. It can make a long existence worth going through, it can support you when all of your own strength has left you, it can make you feel like you two are the only people in the world...

But love can also be dangerous. It can take everything you have, drain everything you are, and give back nothing in return. It can force you to make the most difficult choice you have ever made, a choice in where, no matter what you choose, someone will have to pay the price. 

Something as pure and sweet as love can be turned into a weapon, and be used to completely destroy you. When you open yourself up to someone, it can almost be impossible to tell if they will use this caring and adoring feeling to hurt you when you needed them the most.

I'm afraid to open up to others because of what I've experienced. I'm even scared to tell someone I consider my closest friend what's been happening to me.

All I've learned from the romantic form of love is how to tear someone down. All I've learned is that I'll be safer and less likely to be hurt if I put up a wall between me and those I care about. All I've learned is pain.

To me, it's not worth it anymore.

Ancient Greece