seven; thinking about my dead mother

"I got my scar when I was five," Sabrina began, sitting cross legged on Diego's bed with Gary on her lap. She stroked him as he snoozed, her eyes not really focused on anything. Diego was staring intently at her, fiddling with a knife between his fingers. It didn't really affect her, she had noticed it was something he did to fidget. "It wasn't from a car crash or any other accident. My grandmother tried to kill me."

"Shit," Diego sat up a little straighter, reaching over to touch her hand. He was very physical, which was quite nice seeing as Sabrina appreciated intimacy, especially that of platonic intimacy. "I take it she didn't succeed, seeing as you're still here." 

Sabrina lifted her free hand and tapped the scar on her forehead. "She tried her best."

"This was while you were still in Sweden?" He inquired, his eyes wide with shock and sympathy. Sabrina nodded. 

Sabrina curled up in her mother's arms in their one bedroom home, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to sleep through the freezing cold weather. Snow was falling outside and they only had a blanket to share between them all, which meant they had to cuddle close to maintain heat. It wasn't as if Sabrina had known anything other than the poverty she had always lived in, so she never complained. 

She heard a soft creaking sound, causing her eyes to flutter open. It took a moment to adjust to the darkness of the room, but before long she saw the many religious crosses that decorated the walls of her home, as well as a shadowy figure standing in the kitchen. 

Sitting up and rubbing at her eyes, Sabrina squinted a little to make out whatever it was in the corner. "Alicia?"

She glanced behind her to see her sister fast asleep on the other side of her mother. 

"Mormor?"

Grandmother?

"Sabrina, kom hit," the frail woman beckoned the child to get out of bed. Sabrina complied, the base of her nightdress falling to her feet, and she tried not to stumble as she neared the kitchen. 

Sabrina, come here.

"Är allt okej?"

Is everything okay?

"Ja, barn," yes, child. As Sabrina drew closer, she saw a glint of something shiny in the reflection of the moonlight that streamed through the window. Her breath caught in her throat and her fingers tingled, warning bells going off in her head. "Jag kommer inte att skada dig."

I won't hurt you.

Sabrina gulped, hanging by the edge of the cooking area. She could hardly see her grandmother's face in the darkness, and she had felt this sense of danger a few times before. It wasn't the first time the feeling had sparked around the elderly woman, but for some reason this time posed a bigger torment. "Jo det kommer du."

Yes, you will. 

Her grandmother scowled, getting to her feet from the chair she sat in and inching forward. Sabrina gulped, goosebumps rising across her body. Her fingers began to shake, running through what was left of her hair since the last exorcism she had been put through. They'd never cut it before, but it seemed they were reaching for a solution to the problem she had.

"Mor!" Sabrina called for her mother, though she looked back to see her mother and sister still sleeping. It was as if she were caught in her own worst nightmare. She looked back at her grandmother and trembled in fear. "Snälla gör into mig illa."

Please don't hurt me.

"Du är inte ett av guds barn, du är en parasit," her grandmother hissed. You are not a child of God, you are a parasite. "Den här familjen är förbannad på grund av dig."

This family is damned because of you.

"Nej, mormor," Sabrina pleaded, tears welling up in her eyes. She tried to remember everything about her unnatural powers, everything she and Alicia had practiced in the nearby fields. Taking a deep breath, she chanted one of the words she knew might work. "Mardröm! Mardröm!"

Nightmare! Nightmare!

Suddenly, an illusion of herself appeared beside her. Sabrina looked to her side and gasped, seeing the imaginary figure staring at her grandmother. The copy cackled, light sparking at her fingers like how the electricity in their home short-circuited from time to time. Her eyes glowed red and her teeth were sharp. She looked like the spawn of Satan. 

Perhaps that's what she was. It was all her grandmother had ever tried to convince her of.

The woman cried out and launched herself forward, but Sabrina ducked out of the way and backed over to the window, lifting the pane so that she had an escape. "Gör inte ont mor och Alicia!"

Her grandmother didn't answer, instead only continuing forward. Sabrina tried to swing her legs out of the window and jumped to the ground, but her arm was grabbed before she could do anything. Her head swivelled to stare up at the elder, who raised the knife threateningly. Sabrina shoulders shook as she began to sob, shaking her head. "Snälla du."

Please.

Her grandmother snarled and touched the tip of the blade to the centre of Sabrina's head, beginning to drag it downwards. Sabrina gasped out in pain as a warm liquid spread across her scalp and onto her face, and she clenched her jaw, before gripping her the old woman tightly and using all the strength she had in her body to pull her out the window with her. 

The two both screamed as they fell the distance of a storey. Sabrina squeezed her eyes shut. "Dröm, dröm!"

Dream, dream!

"I hit a cloud, she hit the ground," Sabrina muttered, wiping the tear that escaped her eye. "I should've died, but I didn't. We were both found unconscious not long after when some neighbours heard all the noise. My grandmother had put something in our dinner that night, but I'd thrown it up. It was probably that danger-sensor thing that I have, I don't know."

"No wonder you hate talking about it," Diego sighed softly. His hand was now on her knee, rubbing comforting circles atop her sweatpants. "I'm so sorry."

"It's in the past," Sabrina shrugged, looking up to meet the man's eyes. "My mother was horrified. She sent Alicia and I away from the village to the closest orphanage. She would visit sometimes, but then she died just before I turned twelve. She left Alicia and I with the rest of her savings. She wanted us to go to England and find somewhere to live. Alicia was old enough to work, which meant I was almost of age too. She died eighteen years ago today."

Diego smiled sadly, shuffling closer to her and letting her rest her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for trusting me enough to share this."

"Thank you for listening," she responded softly. She felt lighter than she had before, which she didn't expect. Whenever she thought of the event that had caused her so much grief, it was as if she was living her worst nightmare over and over. "You're one of the first people I've told. The only other people who know is my sister and Officer Sisco down at the police station."

"Oh yeah, how do you know him, by the way?" Diego wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I saw you guys talking when we were both in trouble that day. You know, with your princess outfit?"

"Fairy princess," she corrected, causing him to chuckle. "He took Alicia and in when we got to England. He taught us everything we know. I owe my life to him."

Diego didn't respond, he only smiled. "I guess we're both pretty messed up, huh?"

Sabrina looked up at him with amused, yet sad eyes. "Oh, you haven't heard? Damaged people thrive when side by side."

★☆ 

OH SHIT!! TWO UPDATES!! CRAZY!!

this isn't edited and i wrote it just after i finished chapter six, so sorry if there's some grammatical errors n shit

also!! i hope i did part of her backstory justice? it's pretty intense and i'm not brilliant at writing that, and idk if anyone recalls but i don't intend for this book to be suuuuuper long but we'll see lol