I tossed and turned. The bed was big and comfortable, but I felt uneasy. My mind wouldn't settle and my danger would rise when I heard the bellow of The Black Bull. I couldn't get comfortable, I felt like a part of me was missing. I felt this big empty hole in my heart and I didn't know what was missing. I rolled onto my back as a few more tears slid down my temple into my hair. I sniffed and sat up with a huff. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep. I threw the covers off and climbed out of bed. And went to the window again.

Lady Kore had finally danced herself out and disappeared to who knows where. I cracked the window open and climbed up onto the cile and sat with my knees pulled to my chest. I watched the sky, feeling alone, lost, scared and sad. Tears slowly slid down my cheeks. At some point Diaval came swooping back and landed by my feet again.

His beady black eyes looked at me and he cocked his head, like 'what's wrong?' 

"Do you ever feel like...you just need a break?" I asked the bird. He snapped his beak, but it didn't seem as cranky as before. I gently stroked his head. "I can't remember anything, but I have a feeling my life has been none stop fix everyone's problems since becoming a demigod. I don't know who I am now, where I come from, who I belong to. I have a feeling like if I don't do something everything is doomed... And I feel like someone... important to me is missing. I felt lonely..." Another few tears slid down my cheeks and dripped off my chin.

"Soul mates." A voice whispered. It was deep and rich, but also had a threatening I dertone, like the tremor before an earthquake.

I spun around, but as I did I lost my balance on the cile, which would have resulted in a nasty death splattered on the stone steps of The Vila of Vallis. Before I fell, a hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

As soon as I was back on my feet in the room I ripped my arm free and spun away. Nothing was there. Yet I could feel the presence of something. Or someone.

"Show yourself!" I snarled.

"Would you name me? Most are too afraid to truly name me." I felt something slam into my chest and I landed hard by the bed.

"Good thing I'm brave." I growled getting to my feet. "Now show yourself you coward!"

"Coward?" The voice roared on my head. I had both knives on my hand. My senses where on high alert and I hate this guy in my head. It made me sick and disgusted and violated.

"Get out of my head and face me. Only cowards show up invisible! Show yourself, come out and play!"

"You have twice called me a coward! And...child, did you think I would play fair? I'm the god of love. And love is never fair!"

It took me a moment to understand what the voice ment. The god of love, not Aphrodite...that was a female. This was a male's voice. And it was dangerous. I had a weird feeling I had met the Greek version of this guy, he was old creepy and has a trenchcoat. This guy...

"Cupid." I spat. The air in the bedroom became oppressive, the floor shook, maybe trying to rattle me. I heard a laugh echo around the bedroom. The dying fire sputtered and the black lace curtains fluttered. I gripped my knives tighter. My senses were on high alert now. I felt the air ripple infront of my and I brought my knives up into an x. Deflectong an arrow that materialized. It exploded on the wall leaving a sing mark in the wall paper.

"Lady Kore won't be pleased."

"This is not my first visit to the Vila."

"Are you trying to kill me? What do you want?"

"Is love worth dying for?"

"Depends."

"My counter part, Death...sometimes is kinder."

I felt movement beside me. Against all my better instincts, I waited, still and quiet. I heard a footstep, it was like my ears were suddenly on super sonic mode and I heard faint breathing, and a steady rythmic breathing. I could sense the body of a man beside and I spun towards him. I slammed the hilts of my knives into something solid. I heard a grunt and I stepped closer, my knives held up, pressed against something warm. I saw a small trickle of gold. Inchor, the blood of the gods.

"God of love." I spat.

"Very good Eleanora." His voice didn't have the harshness a second ago.

"Stop playing mind games. Show yourself."

"Isn't that what love is? Mind games?"

"No. Love should not be mind games, love shouldn't be a competition. Love should be freeing, and make you feel safe and secure. You, god of love, are wild and dangerous."

"Interesting...so you disapprove of Last Kore and her love?"

"That is not love, that is one sided infraction. You shouldn't have to work that hard to be noticed."

"Are you saying you don't have to work for love?" I felt his body stiffen and the invisible god tried blowing across to the other side. But I dug my knives in a bit more.

"Very good Eleanora. Even a glancing hit at true love is more than most heroes manage. You at least can pin down my presence, most can't even get a glancing blow at love."

"What do you want?" I snarled. I was tired, and emotional; I had no memories earlier than this afternoon. I knew something was wrong, I knew I was missing someone, yet I have no memories. I knew he was talking about whoever was supposed to fill that big open gap, but I had nothing. I felt my emotions bubble to the surface.

"Let me free and I will do what I can."

I hesitated and lowered my blades. And I felt a fist of wind. I slowly turned and saw the fire sputter. I felt exposed and vaunerable now, I sunk down into the edge of my bed. All the angry fight left me and I felt empty.

"Show yourself!" I yelled, and my voice broke. "What do you want with me?" I felt my chin quiver and my eyes burnt with tears, my throat felt sticky and thick.

"I can't remember anything, why have you come to torment me? Is my love life a game to you? Am I interesting?" I spat the last word like I had used it before as a sick joke.

"No..." Cupid's voice was gentle and it floated across the room like a gentle kiss. "I like to keep my eye on heros like you. A love so strong it endures curses and will fight until thien's last breath... Yes, I've kept my eye on you."

I bristled at his words. Something about them....they felt familiar, and it made me really angry.

"You seem familiar .... Have I threatened you before? Because you sound like someone else...who- I don't know, I can't remember. But I'm pretty sure I hated her!" I hissed, while swatting at tears.

"Love is never easy, child. It is never one set way. Love is battles and peace, it is ensuring and patient. It can be like a punch to the gut or a soft caressing kiss."

"What's your point?" I asked miserably. "I can't remember anything. So go play with someone else. I'm alone and would rather wallow in SD pity right now then entertain some sick mind games of yours."

The air shimmered and Cupid became visible; a lean, muscular young man with snowy white wings, stood in my room, but the open window. He wore a simple white shirt and jeans, with a bow and quiver slung over his shoulder. A closer look revealed his straight black hair, blood-red eyes that looked as if every valentine in the world were squeezed dry, distilled into one poisonous mixture. His face was handsome, but also harsh. His bright red eyes seemed to soften as I swatted at tears.

"You, dear one have had a hard path. You have proven love is worth fighting for, that long suffering and endurance is what love means. I am feeling generous, it is Feburary 14-"

"Valentine's Day." I spat. "Fitting. Cupid shows up to mock me, I can't remember anything! I know I miss someone. I know there's someone missing. Leave me alone." I finally broke, I placed my head in my hands and let out a big broken sob.

My hands were gently, yet firmly removed from my face. I left my face and looked into Cupid's eyes. For an instant I felt wild mix of emotions and then pain split my head as he pulled out memories from my past. My body was frozen as I saw memories flash in Cupid's eyes.

...

The boy from the cabin earlier was leaning against the armoury door, his huge arms folded and his ankles crossed. His dark eyes held me frozen. I felt a wild rush of weird emotions running through me. His dark eyes pierced me so deep, like he was trying to read my soul. His smug smirk made me want to hit him. My hands felt hot and tingly, they were opening and closing into fists.

"Problem Sunshine?"

Raphael Marino, stood smirking smugly in the doorway at me

...

He yelled at the monster, challenging it.
His face was twisted into such a battle rage it was quite scary. His dark eyes were alit with the battle lust, seeing it in person was terrifying. Every vein was popping from his tensed tattooed muscles in his bare arms as he screamed at the monster and thrust his spear at the monster's face. He stood in between me and the monster.

"Get her out of here!" He screamed as someone skidded to a halt beside me.

...

A large piece of the crumbling wall was teetering, I glanced up, just as it gave way. I threw myself, before I could think, over him. A large chunk of rock slammed into my head.

Pain exploded through my body. As the moment of the rock tossed me to the ground and I rolled into the wall.

...

By this point he was holding me up. My head was resting on his chest. My body slumped and I started to slide sideways. My body started to shiver. He held my head gently in the crook of his arm, and held me tightly to his chest. My head flopped, and my eyes rolled.

...

I heard the ragged deep breathing of someone else, and I tipped my head and saw he stood over us, his face twisted in furry and rage.

"Raph...?" I whispered, slowly pushing myself onto my elbows. He slowly turned his face towards me. I tried not to flinch. I didn't see Him in his eyes, all I saw was fire and anger, I saw the wild battle lust.

"Raph... it's me..."

He stared at me hard. The sword in his hand passing back and forth. Like he couldn't quite make up his mind if he wanted to run me through or not. I took him hesitating as a good thing. I slowly sat up and got toy feet. My legs shook and my head was dizzy. I held my hands out towards him, showing I had no weapon.

"Hey, Raph. Breath, you hot head. Relax."

I saw his eyes flicked. He blinked. I smiled at him. I could see him fighting to come back.

"It's me."

"...Sunshine..." He whispered.

"Ya.." I nodded, that made my head spin and I stumbled. He dropped his sword and threw his arms out to catch me.

"Always falling for me, hey Sunshine?" He said weakly, but I knew he was back. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Always there to catch me, hey Hot Head."

"I'm sorry Nora! I'm sorry!" He choked. I blinked my eyes open. His dark eyes looked scared and lost, and watery.

"Why?" I breathed. I just wanted to sleep. I was so tired.

"I went... I went too far...I lost myself to the fight! I'm Sorry!" He held me tighter.

...

I'm not sure but I think my heart skipped a beat and my face turned bright red.

"The Son of War knows how to dance?"

"We're about to find out." He shrugged.

He kept his hand on my back, almost possessively and steered me into the middle of the courtyard where everyone was dancing. He spun me towards him and held my hand in his, and I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"I've uh...never done this before."
...

I had found him, what I saw would haunt me. I pulled away and leaned on the wall. I actually had to hold my chest for a second. The pain was unbelievable. It felt like a slow knife driving and twisting into my heart.

...

He sat huddled against the side of a chariot, his head held in his hands. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders

I felt the anger and hurt flare in my chest. The knife I felt earlier twisted. I watched as he picked up his head and he looked over at me, and he did a double take. His eyes went wide, his jaw clamped and the muscle twitched I saw the Adams apple in his throat bob. I could see the guilt and shame in his dark eyes. I wanted to walk away and curl up and cry. Instead I stood up straighter and everything tensed up and he looked away.  I saw him blink a few times, like he was trying not to cry.

The anger flashed, and I felt the heat with it. It was like a hot fire flowing through my veins. Anger mixed with hurt and betrayal.

"Anger child is not something we should hold onto. Anger does nothing but destroy who we are."

"It...hurts."

"I know my child."

...

I saw Raph laying in a bed, he was hooked up to a few different IVs one looked like a regular mortal IV and the other was a gold honey like liquid, which must be some kind of Nectar. He also had many different monitors. He also had an oxygen mask. I hesitated but slowly stepped into the room and inches closer. He was asleep, and didn't respond or stir when I sat down at the edge of the bed.

I gently took his huge calused hand in my shaking ones. His eyes fluttered open for a second he froze before he ripped his hand from mine and flailed. He gasped like he couldn't breathe. He was struggling and clawing at his chest. And he tried to push himself away. Suddenly all the monitors went off, beeping and blinking.

"Raph! Raph! Stop, please, relax." I cried.

"No! No! No!"

His cries were weak and muffled under his mask. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I had no idea what was going on.

"Raph! It's just me! It's just me! Please!"

With the knife twisting in my heart even deeper, I backed out of the room. Listening to Raph scream in terror, his dark eyes locked onto me as I stood in the doorway, I saw the brokenness in his eyes. Raph had been under a curse of a god, he had been used and abused by a goddess with an obsession.

"Raph...please..." I whispered.

He opened his mouth and screamed. A nymph jabbed him with something and he flopped, his eyes rolled into his head and the door was slammed shut on my face.

...

He's too Lovesick. I cannot."

I let a long scream out that was full of bitterness and pain. I felt my hands glow brighter and hotter, it almost hurt. Almost.

"He's in the throngs of Lovesickness. She was inside his head, she did more than just whisper sweet nothings. She was meant to use him to get to you. He's unable to be with you, his love. He is struggling with himself. Whatever She did to trap him inside his own head...I cannot do anything."

"No! You just won't because you're enjoying this! You horrible evil vial old hag, you-"

"Enough!" The goddess shrieked.

Her appearance changed, she was wild and crazy, her face twisted in rage almost as angry and vial as when Raph was in the middle of battle. Her hair turned black, and looked to be wild and on fire, her eyes flashed in fire. I saw the dark dangerous and twisted side of love in her eyes. I saw how love could drive a person crazy, twist their rational thoughts. Her voice made the walls thunder again. She threw her hands back. As she thrust them forward, I brought my own fire engulfed hands up to block.

...

I shook my head and blinked furiously a few times. I focused back on a face trying to talk to me. I narrowed my eyes trying to concentrate.

I saw his eyebrows pull together and I saw his lips moving but I couldn't hear. I opened my mouth but the words got stuck in my throat. My eyes went wide in horrible realization.  I couldn't hear. I couldn't speak.

Aphrodite had cursed me.

...

My chest hurt from crying so hard, the wild gasping shallow breathing was making it hard. The knife in my chest was twisting deeper and deeper.

I didn't feel the vibrations on the ground until I felt the presence of someone. Hands took hold of my wrists. They were calloused, warm and sure of themselves. I jerked my head up and tried to scramble backwards, but I was held tightly. I stopped fighting. Staring back at me were dark intense broody eyes, they softened when I looked back.

I opened my mouth slightly. But then I froze. He let go with one hand and did the simple sigh for hi.

I spelt his name, "Raph?"

He made the sign for sunshine. A sob got stuck in my throat.

...

His eyes sparkled with a gentle intensity, like he was looking into my striped bare naked soul, reading all my secrets, "Because of you. "I love you Nora."

I covered my mouth with both my hands. Tears prinked my eyes. He gently tucked a strand behind my ear, his callused fingers brushed the scar on my temple. I lowered my hands and signed.

"I love you too Raph."

He leaned forwards, gently pulling my head down and kissing me gently and slowly. My eyes fluttered closed. My hands found his hair. I couldn't hear, and my eyes wouldn't open, even if I wanted to. All I could do was feel and sense. His skin was soft and tough, his hair thick and soft. His lips were soft, he gently pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. He became more needy, more intense. My hands slid down his neck and bare shoulders. My eyes fluttered open finally, as he pulled away. My chest heaved, he took my breath with him. He smirked.

...

Raph...when my soul was trying to leave my body..." I signed, slowly sitting up, I ignored what was going on behind me. I needed him to know this. "When I was dying. You held me together. It was you that anchored me to myself. You said a lot of stuff in the throne room in Olympus....you broke a titans barrier because you said I needed you and you were right. You kept my soul in my body."

Raph's usually dark broody wolf stare had melted and he was looking at me with big soft eyes. Both hands slid to my cheeks, his thumbs ran back and forth across my cheek bones. He sat and just looked at me for a long time. He removed his hands to sign.

"I love you, Eleanora Blofis, my beautiful sunshine."

"I love you, Raphael Marino, my anchor."

His hands held my cheeks again, gently pulled me closer. His nose ran along mine, I felt his forehead press against mine. My hands found his thick soft hair. I pulled his head closer and I kissed him. I felt his lips on mine. They were warm and tasted sweet and kind of minty. His hands slid to the nap of my neck and tipped my head back just slightly, deepening our kiss. I wanted him closer, I needed him closer.

Raph was my home, my anchor. I knew I was safe with him. Sure we were stupid young, I was still in high school, but I knew. I knew Raph was the one. And I would absolutely take on all the curses for him.

I felt a warm tingling in my chest. It spread down to my gut and into my arms and legs. My head felt hot and dizzy. I felt the blood pounding through my veins, the blood pounding in my ears.

That was the best true love kiss I have seen in a very long time! Well done. You have proven yourself." She signed. Her perfect manicured fingers flew as she spoke.

...

Cupid stood up. "I can do no more, Eleanora. I did not take your memories, I cannot give them all back. But I gift you those few: Love, true undying unfailing love. Hardworking, the type we go to war for, take a curse for, the kind we break walls and baries for. The kind we die for, the kind we live for...that is my gift to you, they are yours to keep." He backed away towards the window. I sat on the edge of the bed, unable to move. His eyes had softened to a pink as he gave me a sad yet hopeful smule. "My mother will not interfere again. I make that solum vow on the Styx to you now. Sleep now child, and dream of peace. Happy Valentine's Day."

Cupid dissolved in a cloud of red and gold and the fire sputtered. I flipped backwards and my eyes fluttered closed, I fell asleep with a small smile on my face and the aching loneliness had eased. Raphael. That was my missing piece.

🔆

A longer chapter - but a sweet little reminder of our Raph.