"Sometimes we survive by forgetting" -Unknown.

I slowly opened my eyes blinking multiple times adjusting to the light before I could stare up at a white ceiling. I could hear echoes of people talking, probably my parents because I caught a glimpse of the conversation. Slowly I started to sit up which caused me to groan and feel dizzy.

"Chanel," my mom said from afar. "Chanel, Baby oh my god"

I groaned one more time and adjusted my position sitting up on my bed, and started looking around. This is not my room- Three white walls; probably the one behind me is white as well. Covered with white sheets, white floors and... My mother?

"Sweetheart..." mom started running to the bed "How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy" I groaned, resting my head back "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital..." she replied holding my hand "Thank god you're awake.."

I blinked in confusion "Hospital? Why? What happened?" I said looking around in panic feeling like I want to get up, as fear started creeping into my veins.

Just then my father came inside the room with a girl who looked the same age as me.

"Chanel!" the girl exclaimed and came to stand beside the bed "We were starting to lose hope.."

"Sweetheart you were involved in a car accident" my mom explained moving her hand over my shoulder trying to soothe me, but it wasn't "You've been in a coma for the past two months."

I breathed heavily trying to take in the words my mother was saying. Accident? How? When? I thought to myself. It felt like just yesterday I started college as if I just went to bed.

"Let's not talk about that, Aunt Paulina." The girl sighed and shook her head "Let's just thank god she's okay"

"I'm sorry but.. Do I know you?" I interrupted, asking the girl who responded with a shocking expression

"Chanel, It's m,  Mia," the girl said smiling and shrugging

"Sorry... I don't.." I started, trying to gather my thoughts of the girl standing before me, but failed to know who she was. I had never seen her before.

"I'm your best friend," the girl said shaking her head in disbelief

"I don't know.. I can't..." I said softly, getting a headache in the process of trying to understand how this girl is my best friend and how I somehow cannot remember her.

"I'm going to get the doctor," my dad said then disappeared behind the door. Shortly after, He reappeared with the doctor behind him.

The doctor came in and did his check-ups; then the girl, Mia, went up to him "Doctor, She doesn't remember me..." She explained. "How can she not remember me? I've known her for years. I'm her best friend"

"Well..." The doctor started, "It's possible retrograde amnesia" He explained "Recent memories are less likely to be recovered, but older memories will be easier to recall with the strengthening of time. It's usually temporary and can be treated by exposing them to old or lost memories. So, if you knew her in recent years, she might not be able to remember you."

I took the doctor's words in then looked at my mother who had her hand over her mouth and tears building up in her eyes.

"Mom..." I said feeling my heart clench so hard seeing mom in pain like that. "It's okay mom. I'm okay.."

My dad held her tightly and rubbed her back then kissed her temple "We can remind her, Paulina. What matters is that she's alive"

A tear fell down my cheeks, watching my parents broken. 2 months? They had hope in me for 2 months. It was probably too hard already... Now they have me back, but with Amnesia. Physically, I felt tired. Emotionally, I felt nothing- numb. It was more like I didn't know what to feel; happy that I'm alive, or sad that I won't be able to remember a huge part of my life or frustrated because there is nothing in my hands to do about it.

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"So, we were in college together?" I smiled

"Yeah, We are the bestest of friends," she said "When your mom called, I came running"

"Um... Do you know how the accident happened?" I asked

"They said it's a car accident" she explained "You flipped the car I think"

I sighed and rested back. For the past hour, Mia has been trying to remind me of her... She seemed like a sweet person but I just was not able to remember anything she said.

"Hey girls" mom walked in the room, smiling.

"When can I leave the hospital, mom?" I asked

"We can leave in a few days but we're going to have to follow-up with a doctor" mom answered. "And he recommended you can go to a Psychiatrist, if you would like that, of course."

"I just want to get out of here... We'll see what happens after that" I smiled at mom, hating the mood I was in, the all-white theme and the chemically smell that I did not like nor needed right now. I didn't find it necessary to stay, I already know what I have, and it terrified me.

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A few Days Later:

We stood in front of the door of our house, looking around. The feeling of nostalgia that hit me was strong. I remembered my childhood days-ish.

I remembered that I used to go to the park with my friends, we'd play hide and seek and more of these childish games, eat ice cream and complement each other on tiaras and dresses.

I sighed and walked through the door after standing in front of it for what seemed like a lifetime.

"Your bedroom is upstairs; down the hall and the bathroom is-"

"Mom, I remember the house. Not total memory loss. Remember?"

"Right. Sorry sweetheart..." She walked close to me and rubbed my shoulder "I'm having a hard time getting used to this"

"I understand, Mom," I said, taking my mom tightly between my arms.

Comfort and security filled me; I needed to feel that it was going to be okay. As I remember, my mother's arms are the only place that could protect me.

I walked into my room, which was completely tidy, everything was in place and everything was clean. It's like it was untouched, like nobody entered it, as if it was a newly renovated room.

After settling in, I thought of how I was asleep for a very long time in this so-called coma, so I decided that I would not pass another second sleeping. I went on a walk around the neighbourhood taking in all my childhood memories as I walked to the park and ate ice-cream.

The next few days I would walk to the pool, two blocks away from my house, took my clothes off and jumped in. I'd stay under the water for as long as my lungs would allow me, my hair would flow, I would feel light and relaxed; I'd then go back to the surface and feel refreshed by the sun that shed on my skin.

I did everything that could make me feel thankful that I was alive.

Problem was that some people looked at me in disgust while walking in the street. I didn't get it but I guessed they think I'm weird or crazy because I was always happy and excited... excited to live my life.

I walked into the kitchen to find my mom standing in front of the fridge inspecting the contents.

"Hey mom, can I please go to the grocery store with you?"

"No Chanel, You need to rest," she said while closing the fridge "You've been going out a lot lately and you need to rest"

"Mom, Please" I pouted "Please, please"

"No." She held her bag and keys getting ready to walk out "and no more going out, you need to rest."

I looked at mom in confusion and frustration then started "Mom, I'm alive." I said, "You can't just cage me. I've been living in this unknown world-of-coma full of weird visions and only God knew if I was gonna come back, But I did. I don't wanna pass a day unlived. I wanna make up for all the days I missed."

My mom looked at me; I felt that she somehow thought she owed me a life, better than the two months that passed when she was sitting waiting in worry and agony for me- her only daughter to stop breathing. She sighed deeply then nodded "Fine," She said walking to the door "Let's go"

"Yes!" I jumped and ran after her when we got into the car

"Buckle up," mom said in a serious tone

"But mom I never buckle the seat when I'm with you.." I looked at her

She shook her head and started the car "Not anymore"

I buckled my seatbelt and rested back. I know mom has been making me avoid having any contact with cars because she was worried, but I understood, which is why I never argued or asked her anything concerning the car.

We walked into the huge grocery store. We walked to the vegetables then I told her I was going to get things from the Dairy section.

I walked into the aisle and stood in front of the stand full of milk products and scanned through the names when I saw a girl about my age putting different products in her cart. I felt frustrated because I lacked knowledge on which product is best and which was a no-no, so I decided to walk up to the girl to ask her for guidance.

"Hello," I said smiling "I'm sorry but can I please know which product is the best?"

"Oh, of course," said the girl turning to look at me, but her smiling face slowly fell, transforming into a look of disgust and loath.

I watched the girl who was eyeing me weirdly as she turned around and left.

I was sure I didn't say anything wrong, I was respectful. What happened? I thought of an excuse that maybe her day was not going too well so she was not in the mood to answer me, it made my heart hurt a bit, but I understood.

"Chanel!" my mom called then I turned to her taking any bottle and walking to mom at the checkout