tw: mention of suicide

— trois ; three —

HE DIDN'T MEAN TO, but Henri accidentally dozed off against the window during the ride. He didn't trust Soren at all and told himself to stay awake, even though he wasn't sure what good that could do, but he had barely slept at all in twenty four hours. He jolted awake as the car pulled into a parking lot. Soren didn't even look at him as he got out of the car and waited for Henri to follow, albeit slower as he stared up at Castle Evermore. It was huge, nearly double the size of stadium Henri had trained at in Marseille. Exy was a bigger deal in America than France but he hadn't expected such a stark difference.

"Gape in your free time," Soren said, tapping his foot impatiently. "I have places to be."

Henri grimaced as he followed him to the stadium. "Was it your delightful personality or sunny nature that elected you as captain here?"

"Neither of those things will get you far here," Soren said, tapping a code into the door. "It was my ability on court that got me title as captain, and that is all anyone on this team cares about."

"Sounds depressing."

"Winning is never depressing."

"I don't think it was winning that made Riko blow his brains out," Henri said evenly.

The look Soren shot him was deadly, but it wasn't hiding anything. That was answer enough for Henri. As far as he was concerned, and probably the rest of the Ravens, Riko's death was a suicide and nothing more. They weren't aware of the hand Ichirou had played.

The only thing Soren had to say to that was, "The code is 0408," and then he disappeared down the black stairs into darkness, not looking back to see whether Henri was following.

It was disorientating to leave the bright light of day and step into the black hole that was the Raven's stadium. Despite the size, everything was black and highlighted by red light tubing, giving the impression it was all shrunk in on itself. Henri had lived in a cellar his whole life so going underground had never phased him, but even he felt a little claustrophobic by the colour scheme. He pressed a hand against the wall to remind himself of the space he had and let Soren lead him into the Nest.

Despite the dismal black and red furnishing, the Nest looked like a pretty cool place to live. It was a spacious room that left plenty of space for the large team, easily accommodating over twenty. Wide L shaped leather sofas were arranged around a huge entertainment system and TV, which would be insane to watch games on. There was foosball and pool, along with table-tennis and shelves filled with movies and video games. Mini fridges were dotted around the room despite the fact the room led off into a large kitchenette and dining area.

There were two wings branching off the main area; the Black Hall to the left and the Red Hall to the right. "Dorms on either side," Soren explained, pointing down the halls. "Each room can hold two people."

"Where am I staying?"

"No clue. I didn't even know you were joining our team until a few hours ago," Soren added, something his haughty expression made clear. He had been vocal about his opinion that he didn't think Henri belonged here and it was beginning to grate on Henri's nerves. "Wait here. I'll go get the Master and he can sort out arrangements."

Henri wanted to asked about the title given to Tetsuji but Soren had already disappeared upstairs. He wandered into the kitchen space, marvelling at the sleekly cut black marble-top counters and the four huge fridges stocked with more food than he thought possible to eat. He noticed it was all healthy crap, salads and protein, no cakes or sugar or chocolate. The Ravens probably had strict diets they were required to stick to. There was no doubt it was a nice place to live, but there was something unnerving about it that Henri couldn't put his finger on. He figured it out as he made a round of the living area. There was nothing personal. Despite the fact at least twenty people were probably living here, there were no photos or pictures to indicate anything about the members who lived here. Clutter was nonexistent despite all the people living together, all the DVDs perfectly arranged, even the sofa cushions in order. It all felt very unnatural and strange.

He was startled from his thoughts by a loud voice.

"Jean?"

Henri spun around to see a girl standing in the entrance to the Black Hall, her hair a tangled mess around her head that indicated she'd just woken up and wide brown eyes staring at him like he was a ghost.

"N-no," Henri stammered, caught off-guard by the question. He instinctively reached up to touch his hair as if checking his own identity. "I — "

But the girl had recovered her wits from the split second of confusion and come to the conclusion he wasn't Jean Moreau. "Who the hell are you?" she demanded, stepping into the room. "A reporter who managed to sneak in? No, you look too young. A fan, then? I'm sick of you people invading our privacy like this. Fuck you for — "

"I'm not a reporter," Henri said quickly, "or a fan. I'm..."

What was he supposed to say? I'm not Jean, but his younger brother? He looked imploringly towards the stairs and wished he'd gone with Soren to avoid this mess, no matter how much of an asshole he was. He was saved from further interrogation when two more Ravens had wandered down from the Black Hall, these two already changed into clothes for the day. Henri could put names to the faces now; the girl was Aria Jenkins, starting striker for the Ravens. The guy with darker hair was Matthias Reacher, starting backliner. The other Raven with lighter hair was of more interest to Henri — KJ Wilson, starting dealer. He was known for his ability to fortify and turn defence impenetrable.

"What's going on?" Matthias said, looking at Henri. "Who's this kid?"

Henri couldn't stall or hide the truth any longer. "My name is Henri Sebastien Moreau and I am the Ravens newly recruited dealer."

Stunned silence followed the bold declaration Henri had made and he twisted his hands into his pockets, to stop himself from fidgeting. He wished he had his racquet in his hands to offer some kind of physical comfort. Just when he thought he would face some kind of retribution for what he'd said, KJ burst out laughing. There was nothing particularly friendly or amused about it — he broke off quickly and walked up to Henri, grabbing him by the collar before he could dodge out of the way.

"Jokes like that aren't funny around here," he said in a low voice, his blue eyes blazing. "If Riko was here, he'd break your face for saying shit like that."

"Looks like someone already got to his face," Matthias commented.

"But Riko isn't here, is he?" Henri wasn't scared of KJ, not after facing Ichirou Moriyama. Nothing he said or did could instil any fear in him. "He shot himself in the head at the failure this team has become."

Aria's shocked gasp was drowned out by the sound of Henri being slammed up against the wall. He couldn't stop all of a groan as his aching body protested, but KJ didn't wait around for him to react. "Look here, whoever the fuck you are," KJ hissed, tightening his grip on his collar. "You don't know shit about this team, you understand? Don't you dare walk in here and say that to my face — "

"KJ," an irritated voice said. "Let him go."

They all turned to see Soren at the bottom of the stairs, with none other than Tetsuji Moriyama by his side. The sight of the gold plated walking cane set every bruise across Henri's body flaring with pain, but Tetsuji wasn't looking at him. Soren had given the original command but KJ only released his hold when Tetsuji repeated the order, stepping back and lowering his head deferentially. "Master," KJ murmured, his voice humming with barely restrained anger. "He — "

"You will not speak," Tetsuji said. KJ obediently fell silent. "Matthias, go rouse up the rest of the team and tell them they have ten minutes to gather here. Why they are not already awake and on court is another issue to address. Aria, go change and make yourself presentable. KJ, step away from Henri Moreau."

Henri took satisfaction in Aria and Matthias' shocked expressions, and the way KJ's jaw dropped. They knew better than to address their confusion in the face of Tetsuji's orders. Aria and Matthias both disappeared down the Red and Black Halls with one last glance at Henri, and KJ moved away from Henri, staring at him. Henri could feel him scrutinising his appearance and mentally comparing him to Jean, disbelieving and yet slowly believing it.

"What the hell is going on?" KJ said, but the look he slanted was towards Soren.

Soren just shook his head. "You can wait for an explanation with the others."

The silence that descended over them was tense and brittle. KJ sank down on one of the sofas, looking between Soren and Henri as if waiting for someone to announce this was a huge joke. Henri sank back against the wall and rubbed his throat ruefully, imagining the fresh bruises that wound be decorating his skin. He was going to end up looking like a beaten wife at this rate.

The Ravens filed into the room in silence, and Henri was able to name a few vaguely familiar faces as they found a place around the room. Benjamin Hurstfield, leading goalkeeper, Jude Williams, striker, Alixis Alvarez, longest remaining Raven left, Xander Johnson, backliner. The more that flooded out the more their faces blurred together until Henri was unable to distinguish between any, beyond that they were all staring at him. The only names he knew on this team were the starting line-up, as they were the faces he mainly saw playing on court and other members held no relevance to him.

Tetsuji waited until every single member was settled and Henri was startled to find a quick headcount showed there were only sixteen Ravens, not including himself. There had been 22 on the entire team for the last season — of course Riko was gone, but what about the other five? He didn't have a chance to wonder at the shrunken numbers. Tetsuji stepped forward and all attention turned to him.

"You all know three new Ravens will be joining our line-up this September," Tetsuji said. "They will arrive at Castle Evermore in a month in July, to begin early training for the season. This is not news to you."

He paused, allowing this to sink in. Three new Ravens. Henri knew Edgar Allan was incredibly selective about the players it brought to it's elite Exy team, so three freshmen was more than usual, but Henri suspected they needed fresh blood to face the public this year. Members were flicking looks between him and Tetsuji, most of them putting the pieces together. That he was a new Raven wouldn't be as interesting to them as his name would be.

"Here is the final and fourth new Raven joining the line-up as a dealer." Tetsuji waited only a second for the murmurs to die down before speaking over them. "He is here for earlier training, as he needs it. I expect him to make starting line-up by the end of the year."

Henri flicked a quick startled look at him. Starting line-up? The current line-up had fought and trained for years to claw a place onto the starting roster, and it was practically unheard of for a freshman to find a place on there out of principle. That Henri was painfully inexperienced and young compared to these players made it more impossible. Clearly the Ravens were having similar thoughts, as KJ wasn't the only one glaring at him now.

"Treat him as you would any new recruit. Do not let him slack and make sure he is up to my standards by the end of summer." Tetsuji paused before finally revealing his name. "Welcome, Henri Moreau, to the Ravens."

The Ravens knew better than to speak over Tetsuji, and yet nothing could keep the shocked outbursts at bay. "Moreau?" one Raven exclaimed. "Impossible. Does that mean — ?"

"Yes," Soren said, cutting an indecipherable look at Henri. "This is Jean Moreau's younger brother."

Another Raven made a sound of disbelief. "Jean doesn't have a brother."

"Yet here he is," Soren said dryly. "He trained privately in France away from public scrutiny to protect his identity. His name will be kept secret from the media until the season begins this September, the same way the Foxes kept Neil Josten hidden over summer, and the ERC will be held accountable if the truth slips out. You are all expected to hold the oath of silence regarding his identity, is that understood?"

There was murmured and nodded assent, but no one looked ready to get over the bombshell dropped on them. Tetsuji didn't wait for them to recover and continued. "You all have one hour to acclimatise your new member before I expect you up on court doing warm up drills," he said. "Do not think this late start will be tolerated for the rest of summer. Soren, Henri will be sharing a room with you."

Soren opened a mouth to protest and seemed to think better of it, slowly closing his mouth. He settled for scowling at Henri to make it clear how he felt about these arrangements. Henri ignored him. The real questions broke out in a loud and demanding  flurry once Tetsuji had disappeared upstairs.

"Are you really Jean's brother?"

"What are you doing here now?"

"Why did he never mention you?"

"Are you really good enough to make starting line-up?"

"You won't make it."

The final statement came from KJ, who seemed to take it personally that Henri held the position of dealer and was expected to make starting line-up so easily. "The Ravens are a professional team," KJ continued, when he saw he had Henri's attention. "A kid like you won't make it here and definitely not as a starting dealer. I don't care how good you might be."

"Are you saying your Coach is a liar?" Henri asked.

The other Ravens fell silent and KJ stared at him. "Don't put words in my mouth. I never said that."

"Stop getting side-tracked," the second woman, Alixis Alvarez, said impatiently. "I understand you were kept from the public. But why would Jean never mention he had a brother? I was his teammate for years and he never hinted at it."

"Because he did not know he had a brother," Henri said, growing a bit tired of having to explain himself over and over. He hoped this would be the last time. "He is estranged and was not in contact with any of us. Discovering my name in September will be as much of a shock to him as anyone else."

"Why now?" Xander Johnson asked. "Why are you joining the Ravens now?"

Henri bit his lip. The truth was impossible, but no one had told him what he was supposed to say. He assumed that meant he was free to make up lies as he saw fit.

"I have been trained for sixteen years now," he answered, swallowing around the lump in his throat. "My — parents felt it was finally time for me to step up and make use of that. They were okay for me to step into the limelight."

"And it had nothing to do with Jean leaving," another Raven said, with skepticism.

"The timing was unrelated if not lucky."

Henri couldn't explain his complex feelings regarding his brother. On one hand, he was a figure Henri had been following and looking up to his entire life, searching for similarities in everything he did. He was an idol but he was also a stranger. Despite the blood they shared, Henri had never met him and didn't want to, didn't want to face the reality of the person he had built up in his head. He knew Jean would be far from perfect, more a beaten-down figure than a strong fighter, but he was happy enough to believe his brother was worth something more. Or to at least pretend he was.

"Save any other questions you have for later," Soren said, snagging Henri by the arm and dragging him towards the Black Hall. "Focus on yourselves and having an explanation ready for why none of you were awake when I arrived back."

"I was!" Aria called after them.

The Black Hall was, predictably, black. Dark wallpaper and dim lighting which made it feel like they were creeping around in the middle of the night rather than in the morning. Some of the doors they passed were cracked open wide enough to show big bedrooms that could have easily held five people, two double beds pushed to either side of the room.

"What's the difference between Red and Black?" Henri wondered.

"The Master assigns which Hall you stay in." Soren glanced over his shoulder at Henri with silent contempt before continuing. "Red is for lesser and unimportant Ravens. Black is for those that hold relevance."

"Relevance," Henri said, unable to keep the smirk out of his tone. "Does that make me relevant?"

"Don't entertain stupid ideas. A know-nothing like you will never be relevant."

"You've never seen me play," Henri said indignantly. "How can you write me off so quickly?"

Soren stopped outside a black door at the end of the hallway. "I don't need to see you play. You're short, you're scrawny, and you have an attitude. It's enough to tell me you will not make it here."

Henri bristled. "I am not scrawny."

"The fact that's all you got from that says enough."

Soren pushed open the door before Henri could reply and stepped inside. Henri had no choice but to follow him, glancing back down the empty hallway before closing the door behind him. Their room was a little larger than the others Henri had peeked into, and of course, sported the same dismal black and red decor. Soren continued to the bed pushed up against the far wall, so Henri assumed he was taking the one closest to the door. They each had one wardrobe on their side of the room, with a desk alongside both of them. Each bed had a small bedside table and shelves built into the wall above them. A door led into the shared ensuite.

"What a colourful place to live," Henri commented, running a hand over the black silk coverlet draped across his bed. "I know your team colours are black and red, but did anyone tell you other colours exist too?"

"Your sarcasm isn't appreciated," Soren said. "You'll learn not fast enough not to use that with the Master."

"I'm not stupid. All my sarcasm will be saved for you, don't worry."

Soren looked less than impressed as he sat on the edge of his bed. "Some rules seeing as I'm stuck with you. Don't come on my side of the room and don't touch any of my things. You must be awake by six every morning for practice, and curfew is ten. You cannot leave this building without permission and without me."

Henri frowned. "Why do I need you?"

"It is the way we operate." Soren held up two fingers. "No Raven is an individual here. We operate based on pairs, and do everything with our pair. It ensures maximum efficiency and that no one is slacking. My pair was Jean, but seeing as you have taken his place, I'm lumped with you."

"Trust me, I had no say in this either," Henri said, annoyed. No surprise there. The most choice he had ever been given in his life was what he had for breakfast, and something told him he wouldn't even have that degree of freedom here. "Fine, we're pairs. Does that mean I have to spend every second of my life with you?"

Soren looked as if he wished the answer was something else. "Yes."

"That's not normal."

"Normal doesn't win the Championships."

"Neither did you," Henri couldn't help pointing out, because it was just too easy to rile him up. "Last year was your first year with the Ravens, wasn't it? Funny that was the first year they lost, too. I'm sure those two things aren't related."

Henri half-hoped to incite a violent reaction but Soren was smarter than KJ. The only response he gave was a dangerous flash of his eyes. "Look here. I am the captain of this team and I plan on raising us back to where we belong, the Foxes be damned. I don't care for having a mouthy child on my team and as far as I'm concerned, you will be torn to shreds and tossed aside the moment you have ridden the coattails of your name.

"Being a Moreau will not carry you far for long," Soren continued. "Your age and lack of experience is unforgivable on a Raven court. Your teammates will not let you forget this."

"Then I'll make sure they remember that I don't care." Henri folded his arms across his chest and met Soren's icy gaze evenly. "I'm not here for you, or anyone else. I'll play how I want and I'll watch you choke on your words when I make starting line-up by Spring Championships."

Henri didn't think he cared about Exy, not as much as was expected of him, but Soren's easy dismissal of him was enough fuel to the small fire that had come to life the moment Ichirou Moriyama had shot his parents in the head. Maybe he had no choice in how he played, that death was the only other option, but suddenly Henri felt this burning need to hold a racquet and show Soren that he was more than a useless child. He was a dealer, he was Henri Sebastien Moreau, he was part of a Class I team and he would fight to mark his place no matter how badly they did not want him here.

He would prove that he deserved this as much as anyone else.

"Your arrogance is as unbelievable as it is unfounded," Soren said, shaking his head. "You think it is really that simple?"

"I'll make it that simple."

"Get out. I'll take you to your new locker," Soren added, rising from his bed. "Then we'll see how well your game matches up to your cocky arrogance."