— trente-quatre ; thirty four —

ENDLESS EXY PRACTICES, classes piling on more and more assignments every day with mocks coming up, and too many night shifts at Matt's Bar was not a good combination with the little to no sleep Henri was getting. It didn't help that with December around the corner the weather was getting chillier than ever and he'd had a cold for days now. He looked like shit, he felt like shit, and he was always tired. He wanted nothing more than to take a day — or week — off where he just lay in bed but having a cough and a runny nose apparently wasn't a good enough excuse to take a sick day. As Soren so rudely reminded him every time he complained.

Speaking of Soren being rude, he chose moment to look up from his French textbook and spot Henri not working on his history homework. "That essay won't write itself," he said archly.

"I hate you," Henri retorted.

"Hate me while you're writing. I'm sure you can figure out how to multitask."

Henri glared at him but Soren had already turned his attention back to his own work. Telling the full truth to Soren had been a good thing to do. The right thing to do. He wasn't going to tell anyone else, obviously, and it meant there was nothing unspoken between them anymore. Henri didn't have to hide anything from him anymore. But the downside? Soren had gotten on his back about studying and keeping his grades, what with exams and the fact that Henri wouldn't be allowed to play if his GPA fell beneath a certain limit. Now Soren knew not playing would incur Inchirou's wrath and get Henri killed, possibly.

They were in the library during one of their free periods together before lunch and Soren was taking his tutor duties seriously. He didn't need to go over this topic with Henri, because it was one of the few that made sense, so he settled for watching him to make sure Henri actually did the essay due in tomorrow. He'd meant to finish it off last night, so he could spend this hour napping, but he'd been called for a last minute shift to Matt's bar. Soren told him to quit for the millionth time and Henri ignored him for the millionth time. He was getting pretty good at that, ignoring Soren.

Even though he might actually have a point. Henri over one grand in the bank account he'd recently set up and it's not like he was burning through the savings. He didn't even spend it. He could have quit now but it felt important to make as much as possible while he still could.

He hadn't mean to doze off. He'd glanced out of the window after writing a couple more lines about Hitler, watching rain trickle down the glass and blur out the grassy view. It was almost mesmerising watching the raindrops chasing each other down and he didn't look away even when his eyes began to grow heavy. Then he was suddenly startled awake by a loud bang and his heart kicked into overdrive at the gunshot. Only it wasn't a gun — it was Soren dropping his textbook on the table far too close to Henri's head.

"Asshole," Henri snapped, covering his mouth to cough. "What the hell was that for?"

"No napping until you finish the essay," Soren reminded him. "Why are you so tired, anyway?"

"I can't sleep," Henri muttered.

That wasn't strictly true. He was scared to sleep — scared of the things he'd see when he closed his eyes and scared he'd be woken up by another panic attack that made him certain he was dying. He hadn't had one since that first night but he found he was more anxious in general, just anticipating one.

Soren frowned. "Take sleeping pills."

"I don't know where I'd get them from and besides, what's the point?" He shrugged. "They don't stop nightmares."

"You need to do something to get rid of them. When was the last time you didn't have one?"

"Does it matter? I don't know, few weeks ago," Henri admitted, when Soren just looked at him expectantly for an answer. He picked up a pen and twirled it between his fingers to avoid having to meet Soren's gaze. "Stupid talkshow. Stupid Jean. Hope I never see him again."

Also not strictly true, but a lie he planned on repeating until he believed it.

"Well, that's not possible," Soren said dismissively, scribbling down more French conjugations. Henri could have easily helped him finish all his French assignments in under ten minutes, considering it was pretty basic to him, but Soren was stubborn enough to want to do it all himself. Something Henri couldn't comprehend. "You'll have to see him at the December Banquet."

"The what now?"

"Do you ever listen during practice? No, of course not," he said, exasperated. Henri didn't bother denying it because most of the time he did end up tuning out whatever they jabbered on about at inner court after practice, because he was too busy thinking about sleep or food. "The Master told us about it yesterday. The October banquet was cancelled because there was still some confusion regarding last year's Championship, but the teams that made it to finals are announce at this one. A two day event next weekend, it's being held at South Carolina. Palmetto State got picked in the draw this year."

"Wait." Henri dropped his pen. "Next weekend?"

"That's what I just said."

"I can't go. I'm not going," Henri said firmly. The thought of having to be face-to-face to Jean again so soon was the last thing he wanted to deal with. "Have fun. I'll stay here and practice."

Soren rolled his eyes. "It's not optional. All Ravens are expected to attend."

"Even if they're dying?" Henri made a big deal of coughing and sniffling. "Oh no, I think I'm coming down with something serious. What a shame. I guess I'll just have to stay back to recover and — "

"Not even a good attempt," Soren said, flicking him in forehead with his pen and placing it back in Henri's hand. "You're coming, Henri. Now stop wasting time and finish that essay."

Henri managed to finish the essay, with a lot of bored gazing out of the window and frequent coffee breaks just as an excuse to get away from the table. Henri didn't even like coffee that much but the library had wisely — or possible unwisely — installed a cafe on the first floor. He was on his fourth coffee and feeling jittery from the amount of caffeine he was hopped up on, still tired yet strangely awake for now, when he spotted Aria and Jude. They had one of the booths on the first floor to themselves and Henri didn't think anything of it, until Aria leant across the table and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

Henri stared at them. She'd already pulled back but she was smiling and they were both laughing about something. Henri stared some more, because he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Jude being happy, forget laughing. He also didn't remember there being anything romantic between the two of them. They'd always been close but since when had they been that kind of close? Wasn't Jude still moping after Soren?

"Sup," someone said, and Henri turned to see Matthias had come up alongside him. He was frowning into his cup and hadn't seem to have noticed Aria or Jude, same as they hadn't noticed Henri. "I swear to god, they're putting less and less drink in here every time! Cheap assholes. Also, what the hell are you doing here, Henri? Since when do you voluntarily come to the library to study?"

"Involuntarily," Henri replied, giving his order to the barista behind the counter. "Soren forced me to come here."

"Ah, what a caring boyfriend."

"You're hilarious," Henri said flatly. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Oh, come on. Who the hell are you trying to kid?" Matthias waggled his eyebrows when Henri frowned at him. "The two of you can claim you're not dating all you want but we're not stupid."

"Could have fooled me," Henri muttered.

"Anyone on the team can see what's going on between you," Matthias continued, as if he hadn't spoken. "Sure, you guys don't touch or kiss in front of us — a shame, really — but I can't remember the last time I saw the two of you apart. You are literally glued together 24/7 and if that isn't dating, I don't know what is."

"All Ravens are together 24/7. It's part of your weird and unhealthy system to permanently fuck up your players."

Mattthias was shaking his head before he'd even finished talking. "No, you don't understand. We have the pairing system, sure, but we only stay together when we need to. Between lessons and whatnot. You don't see me with KJ right now, do you?" Henri had nothing to say to that. "Tell me, what's the longest you've been away from him since college started?"

Again, Henri had nothing to say. The longest Henri was away from him was during his shifts at Matt's Bar, six hours at most, but that was still a bizarrely small amount of time considering he'd been around Soren for months now. Studying, sleeping, eating, playing — he was always there. Henri hadn't spent a single day since arriving in America where he hadn't seen Soren and he wasn't sure how to he felt about that. Technically, that was the same for all the Ravens because they practiced together everyday, but Matthias was right — it was different with Soren.

Henri couldn't imagine going even a day without his golden skin and familiar presence only a few feet away. That wasn't normal, he knew that. He'd never been so reliant on another person before. Even people who were dating and in love — although it was possible Henri counted for the latter — weren't always this close to one another.

"Tell me, when will you stop being such a nuisance?" Henri said, more irritated at what Matthias had revealed about himself than anything. "Go away and bug someone else."

"Aha! You accepted defeat," Matthias said smugly. "That means I'm right."

"It means I don't want to talk to you anymore."

Henri took his drink the barista offered out to him and turned back to the stairs, unsurprised when Matthias followed him. They passed Aria and Jude's booth which Alixis had joined, and the three of them were studying as usual. As if there had never been anything going on between the two of them earlier.

"When did that happen?" Henri asked, nodding back in their direction at Matthias' confused look. "Aria and Jude?"

"Their friendship? About five years ago, I'm guessing," Matthias shrugged. "Way before I signed up with the Ravens. It's not exactly anything new."

"No," Henri said impatiently. "When did they become more than friends?"

They'd reached the top of the stairs and Henri didn't realise Matthias had suddenly stopped until he was a few steps ahead of him. He turned to see Matthias staring at him and that's when it occurred to him that maybe no one knew there was anything more than friendship between the two of them. If Matthias didn't know about it, then it was guaranteed that the rest of the Ravens wouldn't. But if they were keeping things in a secret, why kiss in such an open place? It didn't make much sense and Henri didn't particularly care if he'd just spilled something private between the two of them. It's not like either of them would take the same consideration for him.

"Why would you say that?" Matthias asked. "They are just friends. Right?"

"I don't know, seemed pretty romantic when I saw them just kissing downstairs."

Matthias gaped at him. "What? No way!"

"Trust me, this isn't something I'd waste my time joking about."

Matthias turned on his heel and bolted back downstairs without another word, probably for an interrogation that Henri was glad he wasn't part of for once. He made his way back to his table with his coffee to see Soren was already watching him.

"What was that about?"

"Not sure," Henri admitted, thinking about what he'd just seen. "Out of curiosity, do you think anything could ever happen between Jude and Aria?"

Soren arched an eyebrow. "That's a strange thing to be curious about."

"Humour me."

"Maybe," he said, indifferent. "Probably. I think anything could happen between any of the Ravens considering the close quarters we all live in."

"Huh."

"Are you going to tell me why you care all of a sudden?"

"I saw Aria kiss him downstairs," Henri said, watching to see whether Soren would react. "Seemed more than friendly to me."

Soren didn't seem particularly shocked or sad about that. If anything, he looked like he couldn't care less and Henri felt inexplicably pleased about his lack of interest. Soren has already stated that he had nothing to do with Jude anymore but maybe a small part of Henri had always been unsure whether that was true. It probably should have worried him, how easily Soren could cast Jude aside and how easily that could be Henri next, but right now he'd settle for being okay with it.

"As long as they don't bring any baggage to my court," Soren said, and with that he returned to his work.

Matthias found his way to their table ten minutes later and Henri was unsurprised when he immediately brought the topic of Jude and Aria back up. He didn't seem to care that neither of them seemed to be paying any attention to his excited rambling and the conversation was mostly one-sided — he just needed someone to gush about this apparently unbelievable revelation. Matthias was the last person you would want to bring studying with you because he didn't know how to shut up. Even though Soren told him to, at least three times, and a girl sitting on a nearby table.

Luckily for everyone in the library, there were only ten minutes of the period left and then it was lunch. Henri stuffed his completed essay in his bag as they left and almost wished the conversation had stayed on his teammates love lives when Matthias steered it to the subject of the December banquet.

"How are you feeling about your first one, rookie?" Matthias asked. "Excited? Don't be. It's really just an excuse for teams with beef to rag on each other over dinner."

Henri pulled a face. "As wonderful as that sounds, I'm not going."

"You are," Soren said.

"You can't make me."

"Watch me."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Look at you two, bickering like an old married couple," Matthias grinned. "At least you've got the date part sorted."

"Shut up," Soren and Henri snapped at the same time, much to Matthias' amusement. Soren continued talking. "You don't have a choice in this. If you really want to complain about it? Feel free to take it up with the Master. I'm sure he'd love to hear all about it."

Henri wasn't in the mood to argue and settled for scowling to show he wasn't impressed. He could feel the beginnings of a headache forming that would no doubt be killing him during practice that evening and being back outside wasn't helping with his cold. Even bundled up in a coat and scarf, West Virginia was on the verge of snow and Henri had to bury his face in the soft wool of his scarf to avoid coughing too much. He didn't have much of an appetite and was considering just skipping lunch in favour of trying to squeeze in some sleep back at the dorm, when he felt someone's gaze on him.

He glanced across the road and felt the ice nipping at his skin sink into his bones. For a few weeks now, Henri had gotten through his shifts at Matt's Bar without having to deal with that stalker customer, Lewis, who'd waited outside for him that one night. But he recognised those pale blue eyes and that creepy smile that sent shivers rolling down his spine. It could have just been a coincidence that he was here — but this man looked a little too old to be a student and he had no reason to be on Edgar Allan campus. And he was still staring at Henri in a way that made him certain this was no accident.

"Henri?" Matthias prompted. "What's up?"

He realised he'd stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. "Actually, I might just head back to Evermore," he said, keeping the shakiness out of his voice with some effort. He wasn't sure he entirely succeeded from the way Soren narrowed his eyes at him. "I'm not hungry."

Matthias frowned. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I...I don't feel well."

It wasn't a lie. He felt a little sick, and he wasn't sure whether it was because of his cold or because Lewis was still staring at him in an entirely unnerving way. Then it occurred to him that doing that was the worst possible idea. He'd be alone and Lewis could easily follow him straight back to the place where he was living. It's not like he could have gotten past the security or keypad on the entrance, but the thought of this man knowing where he lived was too much for Henri to handle. He should just go to lunch and hope he'd get lost.

"Well, you do look kind of shit, to be honest — "

"No, wait, I'll come," Henri interrupted him, feeling on edge. He was aware of the strange looks both Soren and Matthias were giving him as he grabbed their arms and steered them in a different direction, away from where Lewis was. "But let's go this way to the canteen instead."

"This is the longer way," Matthias said slowly.

"Yeah, so? We're Exy players. Exercise is always good. Maybe the walk will make me hungry."

"Uh, are you sure you're okay, Henri?" Matthias wondered, but thankfully, he kept walking. Henri was too freaked out to glance over his shoulder and see if Lewis was following them. "Maybe you should just take the rest of the day off and get some rest. You seem kind of..."

"Insane," Soren said, when Matthias trailed off.

"I was going to go for weird, but sure. That works too."

Any other day, Henri would have gladly taken the offer as an excuse to miss classes and curl up in his bed. Especially considering his head was pounding and his mouth felt too dry. But he was almost certain that Lewis would track him down if he was stupid enough to wander off on his own and he didn't know what to do. He'd let this go far but he didn't how he could change that now. Call the police and then what? He didn't even have this man's full name or details. Telling Soren or anyone else meant he'd just be forced into quitting his job that wouldn't make any difference.

He couldn't do anything. He just had to hope this man would grow bored of him and find someone new to stalk eventually.

"I'm fine," Henri muttered, relaxing slightly only when they rounded the corner. "Just keep walking, okay?"