Hello Dazzlers,

Happy New Year, 2018. I wish you all a significant year. 

Last year might not be so deluxe for all and may be for some the year might bring the joyous, but still it held memories-- good or bad.. memories are memories and memories hold the root our soul. So, i won't tell you all to forget the last year and move forward. but instead i would love to tell you that just hold the last year in your soul and take the best and learn from your mistakes, and step ahead with a new aspiration that you will make the new year blissful for yourself. Yes, sometimes it's hard to stay with the resolution you made, sometimes it won't be fulfill like you planned and your way might take the difficult path, but stick to your goals, doesn't matter how you reached to your goals, just take the right or wrong decision that could make you yourself and have the joyful year. Be positive and be strong.

Happy New Year, 2018.

A simple gift for you all.

Yes, i will update this story slowly. so don't pressure me. 

Ignore the grammatical and spelling mistakes. (not edited). 

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Nandini

"Did you?"

"Nope. I didn't even apply for this job."

I said ruefully, not looking at Mrs. Shethy. Although she did everything for me and... I was just disrespecting her generosity.

"It's okay dear. I will arrange the appointment." Her words were like a heaven to me. Gratefully I looked at her, and recalled the moment when she found me-- I was hungry and laying on the nasty road, cloths were teared up; if it wasn't her then I might not be survive and nor did my...child. Wiping the tears I nodded at her.

"Tomorrow 10 am."

"Okay. I will be there."my voice cracked so I just avoid her eyes so she couldn't see my tears.

"Good."

She talked about some important staff so I could handle the interview but my mind was distracted me with my past that I tried to avoid and reminding me of him. Silently and slowly it was killing me inside.

"Nandini?"

"Huh? Yes?"

"You zoned out." My cheek flashed as I realized I again miss the talk... so embarrassing.

"Uh. No.. I was just thinking about to get this job, you know." Of course, another lie. But I also couldn't tell the truth. She is my only option to get out of this miserable life. I need this job to survive... I need to feed myself and my child.

There is no Manik Malhotra who will help me out. I have to survive alone. During the past eight months I learned a lot and discovered a lot – afraid and surprised. I exceeded all the boundary and suffered the worst to come here now but I abandoned my beautiful picture with that also. I lost but alive. Too much happened and He would be devastated if he find out. So no matter what I had to be hidden from the world.

After saying a goodbye to Mrs. Shethy, I ate then calculating my days.

As long as I thought guilt circling me like a cloud as I evoked the day when I left without giving a second thought. I didn't even thought about Manik and his family.... nor I thought about my child and what would happened if I left. My decision was wrong and I had suffered. But now there is no turning back... I can't face him. I often referred to have my freedom as I felt caged and suffocated, hell I was scared for the life was throwing at me-- it was not something I wanted from the beginning,but slowly as my action answered me with brutal candour I realized my lack but I already sealed the fate and now left alone.

I laid in the dark, crying silently. What had I done? How could I have done everything so wrong that I have nothing left now?

I pulled up the covers and gently put my hand on my stomach like it will protect my child then cried myself to sleep. If I I could do well tomorrow then my all problems would be solved.

The door slammed hard behind the girl left right now, she was looking determined like she already got the job, allotted me in nervous breakdown. If she got then what would I do? She was confident and me, a pregnant mess. No, I couldn't ever get this job. I was drawn in a deep breath of failure and was going to leave but my name called.

"Nandini Murthy."

I looked up and respond."Yes?"

"You are selected for the job."

Happiness flashed through meas the news settled in my mind, I roused with joy, instead of taking the step back I walked with the receptionist.

~~~~

Tired.

Never thought that the day would turn out like that. My head pounded like thousand horses and I barely managed to suppress my whine. But still there was something missing that drawn me to the forlornness. I was pretty sure that I wouldn't miss him but I was totally wrong. But I surely did.

I caressed my belly which looked huge now. Actually I was also looking huge, and surprised that my tiny body perfectly fit the pregnancy. All thanks to Mrs. Shethy and this hospital who hired me as the receptionist. They were surprised that I was applied for the post in this situation when I should take rest. But If Mrs. Shethy wasn't kind to me then I wouldn't have this job. For my child I needed this.

Not for me but for my child.

Locking the door behind me,I relaxed. The day was finally over and I brought food for me and my child and that was all matter to me. Perhaps I could manage my pregnancy from now and forgot my past I left behind.

I already closed the door so no need of thinking about him.

But Rishabh!

Tears rolled down and surprised with my impulsive act. I left him for finding my freedom. How could I act so selfishly?

I forgot about him. How?

Oh. I ran. I ran from my responsibility and now...

Taking a deep breathe, I fall on my couch, heart pounding like storm. I ran just because of my freedom... I didn't think of anyone who loved me. The gilt still shattering my heart in pieces and I really wanted to run to them and told them I was wrong but scared to face them.

Scared to face the truth.

Scared to face him.

Scared.

Standing, I stalked to the kitchen, damn hungry. The day was really hectic. I never thought one day work would make me hell tired. But no option. I would have to do that. No turning back. Nothing could give my life back now. Once Manik destroyed it and then me.

I wished I stayed. But my freedom that was what I saw in front of my eyes. I exhaled, shifting my balance as it was getting tired and my legs were feeling heavy. I quickly grab the warm soup and went to the balcony...

I needed portion... my baby would have the best.

Lonely. So lonely.

Tears burned through my eyes, and I felt the soft warmness on my cheek. My betrayal was slowly destroying me... killing me.

I suffered.

I repressed.

I lied.

I ran away.

And still I couldn't get the freedom I was searching for, and realized it was with him.

But too late.

A man who hurt me once also showed the love, healed me and giving back my life but I couldn't trust the man I love. I wanted more and went out to search for that and got nothing.

Just a loneliness.

Manik

I placed the watch on the bed before relaxing. I was ready to go the moment I heard that they found her but urgency came. I had to take care of my niece as Aliya dropped her at my office. She was looking devastated but I dared not to ask, knowing that how she was handling her marriage with Dhruv. I should be angry with Dhruv but it was me who send him to a death and risked my sister's future.

But I had no choice.

He had no choice.

If we couldn't find the information then the city would be ravaged. And I couldn't let them win and have a satisfied smile.

But I didn't think of the outcome.

My sister.

Her marriage.

Ananya.

I wished to take Aliya in my arms and consoled her. But it would make me weak and the plan we set could be dashed in wind.

So helpless.

And after having the hectic day I was not ready to see her and have the heart break again. It felt like death and believe me on that. Laying straight I closed my eyes, and tried not to think about her as her thought only gave me pain. I was so closed loose myself to her, for god sake I even loose myself to her-- I gave all of me, my heart, body-- everything.

But what I got?

I know I was wrong but the moment truth hit me, I tried to correct my amiss and trying hard to be a man she wanted, only to see that all the efforts went into a black hole. She was determined not to escape and get her freedom, but she did one mistake. She took what was mine... our child.

And I wouldn't forgive her for that.

I don't care how wrong I was and how wrong I would be in future... fact is the child is mine. So I will get my child if that mean I have to keep her with me. Frustratingly, I ran my hands through my hair and sit back to turned of the light. Tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow you will be back in this house. A smile curving my lips as the thought pleased me.

 "Splendid." 

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Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. 

I am so heart broken. Both are in love with each other. But couldn't be able to stay together. :( 

Share your thoughts. Constructive criticism is allowed.

Once again HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Love,
XOxoxo

_D. A