I wrote this blog post at the beginning of my senior year of college. I hope it can bring you some comfort and joy!

Are you having one of those days where it feels like nothing can go right? Like life is trying to beat you down until you can't and won't get back up again?

Today was that day for me.

I spent the weekend as a college leader at a disciple now. As exhausting as the weekend was, it felt so nice to unplug from the world and plug into God's word ... I don't think I had realized how badly I needed it. But, when this morning rolled around and I had to plug back in to the "real world" it felt as though I had been hit with a ton of bricks. I just couldn't catch a break. One discouragement after another came and went, leaving me defeated and broken down. I thought to myself how ironic it was that I ended the weekend feeling so refreshed and empowered and now I found myself feeling about 3 inches tall.

But that's when the devil hits you the hardest isn't it? After you've experienced the presence of God. After you've been filled up with His Word. After you've fellowshipped with fellow believers. Its in these moments the devil longs for you to feel inadequate. Its in these moments it seems like you're getting hit the hardest.

Today, our class took our first mock NCLEX exam, which is supposed to predict how you would do on the real thing and provide you with the areas you need to work on. I don't know what our class had anticipated the test being like, but the exam we took wasn't that. Our expectations were crushed more and more with each question we didn't know the answer to and I can't speak for the class as a whole, but I left the testing room feeling discouraged and so, so small.

Later today, we had a clinical skills relay to brush up on our nursing skills before we go to clinical (tomorrow). Once again, we were met with opposition and failure (as if bombing a practice NCLEX exam wasn't enough failure for one day.) After the relay (and about 45 minutes of ranting with fellow classmates in the hallway) I made the remark (half jokingly because at that point all of us were OVER it) "I ain't gone let this skills relay define me." It wasn't until later, after I had worked up enough resolve to go study at the library, that I really thought about those words.

I wonder how often we let the perpetual "bad day" define us. But I wonder even more what would happen if we didn't. What would happen if we took all our ruined plans ... our failures ... our terrible, disheartening, crappy days and said, "this won't define who I am."

What if, instead of spending those days wallowing in self pity (I'm talking to myself here as well), we turned to Jesus. What if we laid all those discouragements, failures, and crappy days down at the Savior's feet and said, "I'm not defined by this bad day, or the next one, or the one after that. I'm choosing to be defined by who YOU are. Because no bad day can take away the precious gift of grace you give."

Let's take it a step further because let's be honest here, its easy to turn to Jesus in the midst of our trials. What if, on your good days ... the days where your ace that test, or make that game winning shot, or *insert awesome accomplishment here*, you said, "this doesn't define me." (... Wait, what?) I know, it sounds crazy right? But listen and hear me out. What if instead of glorifying what we've accomplished we lay those awesome things down at the Savior's feet and say, "I'm not defined by what I've done. Because nothing I could ever do could surmount to what Jesus has done for me."

What if the good, bad, and ugly moments of this life didn't carry so much weight? What if instead of letting nursing school, our team, our friends, or our significant other, etc. define who we are, we lived in the freedom and joy of who we are in Christ?

I pray that you will live daily in this truth and that it will make the bad days better, and the good days even sweeter.