-Herc POV-

I look from myself, to Laff, to the kids on top of us. 

"...Mornin."

"Good morning daddy!"

"Mon père, wake up!"

"I'm awake buddy."

Laff sits up as I lie there, Usnavi on my chest. He leans as close to my face as I can before I roll over, knocking him off towards Laff. 

He just giggles and hops back on.

"What's going on, mon amis?"

"We have a surprise for you!"

I have a guess as to what it is as the smell of burnt something fills the air.

A pillow thumps into my face before Laff pulls Usnavi off of me, pushing me out of the bed.

That was unnecessary.

"Why don't you two show us?"

I drag myself to my feet as Laff smiles, bouncing nervously as he pulls me to him. He looks almost as enthusiastic as the children, and I put on a smile as well as were pulled from the bedroom.

"Look! Dads! It's breakfast!"

"Oh wow!"

Laff looks like a piece of him is breaking off and dying a slow painful death as he looks around his kitchen. It's not as bad as when I cooked wax paper, but it's close.

At least that was contained to the oven.

"Did you two do this all yourselves?"

"Yeah!"

No shit.

Theres an egg laying on the counter top. Not broken, just a singular egg. A chair is next to the counter top, covered in a white powder. Something sticky on the floor, a milk spill on the oven, juice in the sink, butter with a spatula in it, tipped over trash can... you get the picture.

My poor Laffy's pride and joy is trashed with good intentions.

And on a plate, on Laff's beautifully decorated table, sits the two blackest pieces of toast I have ever seen.

"Come eat!"

Laff excitedly hops into the chair Anne holds out for him, somehow eating a good portion of the toast in a single mouthful.

"wOW!"

It's my turn to die inside as I bite into the bread. A dry lump form in my throat as I swallow it.

How did this not set off the fire alarm?

"Do you like it?"

It tastes like literal charcoal.

"Yup! This is something special alright!"

"Good job you two!"

The kids beam up at Laff as he takes another bite, smiling all the way. I choke a little as I force myself to eat more, ready to cry as the taste hits again.

Do it for the kids, Herc.

Or else their tiny, happy, precious little souls will be crushed.

I finish it off fairly quickly. This bread was burnt to hell and back, yet it still tastes better than Thomas's liquor macaroni.

"Wow. That was delicious."

"The finest cuisine indeed!"

I pull Usnavi to me as Laff swings Anne around in a circle.

The taste.

It lingers.

The kids are set down with a quick kiss, running off together as I lean on Laff and his mostly-healed chest. He says it doesn't hurt.

But the scars are still there.

"That was one of the worst experiences in my entire life. And I've been through a lot."

"Now you know what it's like to eat your cooking."

I give him a playful shove as he giggles, catching me in a hug. I lean myself back against his chest as a confuzzled looking Madison comes out into the kitchen.

"Is something burning?"

"Nope, the only smoking hot thing in this kitchen is me."

"Marie, mom, please no."

"Marie, wife, please yes."

"I'm going with Herc on this one, Marie, sexy French girl, yes."

Madison rolls his eyes as Laff tackles me, kissing me quickly as my back arches against the countertop.

"That's exactly what I wanted to see this morning. My parents making out in the kitchen."

"Non, mon chéri. This is nothing. We once walked in on our sons fucking on the kitchen table."

"I remember that."

"Pretty hard to forget."

I let out a shudder. 

That's a memory I never wanted to think about again.

Supper was awkward that night.

"Your sons? How many kids do you have? And why are they banging each other?"

Madison looks concerned to say the least.

"We have six other sons. And four other daughters. And one other."

"John is our 'brother' that we raised like a son who's boyfriend also came to live with us for awhile, making Alex our other son. And then there's Johns siblings who Laff also 'adopted', their significant others, Natasha and Jordan. And Pip and George, which is one hell of a story. And then my biological brother. And sometimes I'm pretty sure Laff thinks of me as his child as well."

"Oui, I do. You are my most precious boy. And I still wanna adopt Aaron but Herc won't let me!"

"You can't have everyone as your child Laff."

"Watch me."

He sticks out his tongue at me as I sit up, wiping off what I can from the countertops. Madison is smiling as Laff tells him about 'our children'. 

The ones that roll with it are his favourite. He's always loved being seen as a dad. He likes being the father figure he always wanted, always needed.

That George was for him.

"Can my friends come over some time?"

"Yes! Please bring that wonderful George kid and his sweet boyfriend! They are absolutely adorable. And if they ever need a new dad tell them I'll be first to sign up!"

"Laffy babe chill a bit."

"I Want. More. Sons. My family shall grow and be beautiful!"

"...Maybe they shouldn't come over aft-"

"Nope! Mads, bring them. Pick a date and put it on our agenda. Because I want to get to know all your friends."

"Marie-"

"I won't embarrass you I promise! I was so cool at your school the first day a senior hit on me."

"You were What?" Madison and I share a look as we exclaim in unison. 

Laff just shrugs as he dramatically flops himself over my arm, causing me to almost drop him.

"She wanted my number or some shit. I said no, of course."

How dare someone else hit on my precious husband.

I stare at his eyes as he sticks a cinnamon cookie stick in his mouth like a flower.

Although, can you really blame them? He's beautiful.

I stand him back up, twirling him once before placing my hands on his hips and pressing our foreheads together and snatching the cookie from his mouth with my own.

"Herc. I love you."

"Love you too Laffy."

I smile as he crouches a little, planting a kiss on each cheek before pressing our lips together.

"I'm not inviting them over if you pull this shit."

"We won't! Not while they're here, at least."

He rolls his eyes as Laff gives me another quick peck.

I've still never met his friends. So this should be fun.

-Laff POV-

"Alright then! Mr. Lee, you sure you're doing okay?"

"As well as I can. Thank you Laff."

"No problem Charlie. Anytime you need, please call, okay?"

"Okay."

"Bye!"

"Bye!"

I smile as I hang up, happy with the change in his tone overall. I pocket my device, heading to the hall.

Fifteen minutes.

That's how long I was talking to Lee.

That's how long it took for to all go to shit.

"Herc! I already almost lost my kitchen once today!"

I hiss at him as he gives me a guilty look, dunking the paper bag into the sink. 

"How the duck do you wreck popcorn?"

"You use the popcorn button?"

"And?"

"You forget to take off the plastic first."

He mumbles softly as the bag lets out another puff of smoke.

I walk over to him, removing his oven mitts and tongs as I press our lips together quickly. He tries to grab me and hold me for more, but I slip away and pinch the tongs at him like a metallic crab.

"Non, mon amour, real kisses are for people who take care of my kitchen."

"I tried! The plastic was see through!"

"So?"

"So I saw through it!"

I smile at him as he pleads, leaning so that I'm an inch away from his face.

"Do you really want a kiss?"

"Yes! Thank you!"

I pull back as he goes to lean forward.

"That sucks."

There's some whining behind me as I click the tongs in my hand again, sticking my tongue out at my husband as he makes a grabby motion for me like a small child.

"I would have the time to kiss you if I didn't have to remake the popcorn."

I grab a bag from the pantry and head to the microwave with a twirl, glad to see my precious baby is okay. I give Herc a pointed look as I pull off the plastic, slipping the bag into the magic heat box. I run a hand tenderly along the see through door, beeping in the number.

"Did the mean fire man hurt you honey?"

"Wrrrrrrr." Is the microwaves only response as I hit start.

Herc hasn't stopped pouting, and I feel arms wrap around my waist the second I pull out the properly popped corn.

"Since when are you so needy?"

"Since you started being a tease!"

"Sir, I will tong you if you don't take this corn and join the kids in the living room."

"Fine! I'm going! Just take your meds."

One more threatening tong click in his direction has him snatching the bag and running. I head over to the counter, grabbing the bottle.

I can't fucking believe Herc talked me into this.

But it could stop it from spreading to him. It could keep him safe. And that's worth it.

I don't bother with water, just downing them dry and heading out to the living room. Herc is throwing popcorn at Madison as he tries to catch it in his mouth, not very successfully.

"Babe, over here!"

He snickers and hurls a kernel at my face, and I feel it bounce off my forehead before I catch it on my tongue.

"How the heck did you do that so effectively?"

"Eleven years of practice."

"We're so in tune with each other, we can-"

"Finish-"

"Each-"

"Others-"

"Train-"

"Of-"

"Thought-"

"Without-"

"Any-"

"Hesitation-"

"Whatsoever!"

I flip myself into a handstand on the arm of the couch, tipping backwards into Herc's arms as I flip a leg into the air.

"And that-"

"Is showtime!"

The two younger children look much more impressed with my husband and I than Madison.

"So! When are your friends coming over?"

"I haven't asked them yet."

"Please call them! Right now! I want them over here!"

"You do realize these are my friends, right?"

I nod vigorously, letting out an excited squeal as Madison pulls out his phone and types something quickly.

Hopping out of Herc's lap I plop on the floor in front of Madison, tenderly pulling him into my arms as he leans into the touch. I skip back over to the couch and hop back onto Herc, wiggling against him as he grabs my hips. Usnavi and Anne hop on Madison, creating some weird sort of stack.

It's comfy, the weight pressing down on you as you hold each other.

Likely less comfy for Herc, who's stuck on the very bottom, but whatever. He seems content as he gently rubs circles into my sides.

I'm content with this too.

The movie starts to play as I giggle.

"Herc, really?"

"Mhmm."

"It's my favourite."

"I know."

Moana appears on the screen as I shift lower, lying down so my head so it sits in Herc's lap. His hands make their way into my hair as I rest against him, singing along to the first song.

Anne seems entranced with the movie, eyes wide and full of wonder as the not princess dances across the screen.

I probably look the same.

I'll never seize to be amazed with the music in this movie. Like, the man that wrote this must be an absolute genius.

The movie is over too soon for my liking, Madison hustling off to bed as we take care of his siblings. Quick story, cuddles and hugs, and the youngest are tucked away as well leaving Herc and I alone to snuggle ourselves.

We just stand there in the hallway, his hands around the back of my neck and mine on his waist as we sway together. Foreheads pressed together, noses together, just enjoying our moment of quiet alone.

"Christmas is coming soon Laff. Are we still hosting?"

"We always have people around here anyways. What's all of them at the same time?"

"The house is just sorta small, and with the kiddos..."

"It'll be fun Herc!"

He gives me a nod, allowing me to give his cheek a quick peck before he buries his face in my neck.

"I'm just excited for the food."

"You're always excited for food."

"Because you always make good food!"

I smile as I'm pulled to the bedroom, clinging onto Herc's hand a little tighter than necessary. He spins me around and dips me, leaning so our faces are inches apart. I try to close the gap, finding myself falling for a second before I'm caught again.

"The duck was that?"

"That was because you didn't kiss me earlier."

"That was because you set a fire in my kitchen."

"The kids almost did!"

"...Herc. They're five and six and a half. I expect it from them."

"You should expect it from me too."

I quickly grasp his neck as he smirks at me, pulling myself right in front of him.

"If I forgive you for the fire can we kiss?"

He nods, and I press my lips to his. My back is arching funny and it's not the most comfortable. I lift a leg, struggling to find his arm to loop it around. 

Actually looking with my eyes would require pulling away, and I don't plan on doing that.

It connects with something, and I'm satisfied as I'm pulled up a bit more. Herc moves backwards, but trips before we reach the bed. I don't move off, making him pick me up himself as I giggle like a dork.

We successfully make our way onto the bed this time, and I relax into Herc arms as he pulls out my elastic.

You know that feeling when everything is going so right but it all feels so wrong?

"Herc. Something's wrong."

I sit up with a start as he lets out a whine.

"Laffy babe it's nothing. You probably just forgot to feed that damn snake or something."

"No, I fed my precious boop noodle yesterday. This is different Herc! My spidey senses, they tingle."

He laughs at me, but it's not funny.

"Please can we just check on the kids? I don't like this feeling very much."

Herc nods, and I pull him behind me as I head to Anne and Usnavi. 

Both are sound asleep, snuggled up together under the blanket.

"See? They're fine, babe. Just come back to bed."

I ignore him, racing down the hall. For the first time I just throw Madison's door open without bothering to knock.

Not that it matters.

Because he's not there.