-Laff POV-

"Thomas is this really the best idea?"

"I see no way this could go wrong. It'll be fine."

Five rounds of twister later and the statement stands.

For half of us.

Thomas has fallen directly on top of Alex's face, twice. He swears it was an accident and I believe him because I honestly don't believe Thomas could lose on purpose like that. 

James didn't take his socks off, so that went well for him.

So now the game has been heavily restricted, kiddos pulled away, Peggy, Natasha, Philip and Eacker the only ones playing.

It's fun to watch, anyways. Four drunks on a slippery ass mat.

Even better because, for once, the party isn't being hosted at our house. Nope, instead we are at Willy Wonka's hell-scape, AKA Jefferson's mansion. Meaning we get to be irresponsible and have fun worry free.

"Laff- Laff- Laff look here! Look here Laff!"

"Thomas what do-"

"Look at my fiancé! Doesn't he look beautiful? I found my wonderful fiancé a new shirt and now my fiancé is wearing the shirt that I, his fiancé, bought for him. Isn't he absolutely gorgeous? He's fricking adorable. My adorable fiancé."

"James looks great Thomas-"

"Yeah well guess what he's my fiancé so back off, he belongs to me. My Jemmy. Get your own fiancé this one is claimed. By me. Isn't that right Jemmy James?"

"Somebody save me."

Thomas is clutching onto James for dear life. I'm not sure if James can even breathe right. But the two of them are happy and Thomas is genuinely feeling positive emotions instead of pure rage so I don't say anything.

Instead I get to deal with my own man. Lean back against him as he comes and wraps his arms around my waist, feeling kinda out of it already and starting to consider if I could force him to carry me for the rest of the night.

But he's alone.

"Herc where are the kids?"

"Father took 'em home. And the teens are- yeah they're somewhere. Let's be honest, they're making out in a closet somewhere between sips of whiskey and we should probably find them but-"

"Don't even joke about that. I swear if they have alcohol-"

"Your kids are in the basement. My fiancés fiancé, me, set up VR for them. All is good. Uncle Thomas saves the day!"

"Now wait one fucking second, who said you were-"

"The short female with a love for Kraft dinner. She didn't even notice it was dick shaped!"

"I'm sorry, you gave my daughter What?"

"...just a reminder. Kids are in the basement. Safely. Imma head out. With my FIANCÉ!"

Herc is laughing like an idiot but it's not funny. These kids are young and clueless and we should be heading home with them. Teenagers are stupid and irresponsible and- 

You know what, fuck it. I'm practically a teenager myself. 

The key difference is, I can have alcohol.

A twisted tea is slipped off the island and I throw any self reserve I had out the window. Convince myself it'll be easier to let go. Need to relax.

The two of us flop down on said island for a second, me on the counter straddling Herc as I pull him in for a quick kiss. He seems slightly surprised but I don't see him complaining either.

"I'm going to get drunk, Herc."

"No you won't baby you'll be fine."

"Non, that was not worry that was fact. I will fucking steal from Peggy if that's what it takes but I'm getting hammered tonight."

"Oh- okay Laff. Just be careful."

"Careful is one of my seven middle names."

I grant him another soft kiss before hopping off, 'confiscating' the alcohol Peggy was going to use to spike the punch and chugging it in front of her as she shrieks at me. 

Gotta love tradition.

But I don't  stop there, oh no, I'm into everything I can get my hands on. There's baileys, there's wine, the Christmas classic eggnog with baileys and to top it all off my old personal favourite, vodquila.

I'm dragged off by my belt-loops before I can have any more. Thrown onto the couch to sit while my husband watches.

"Herc-"

"No. No more alcohol for my precious baby until I know you'll be okay with this much. I know you can handle it but I don't want you passing out."

"Herc-"

"Laff I just want you okay and it's not that I don't trust you I just-"

"Herc you dumb fucker your fly is down."

I let out a slightly slurred giggle as he panics a bit, jumping back and cussing under his breath as he fumbles around. It's cute, his embarrassment, the realization I was lying dawning on him soon enough.

"You're lucky you're pretty. Especially after all this shit you pull."

"Yeah- well- you're lucky I'm funny because I'm funny as hell and now you're stuck with me for the rest of your life. Haha. Loser."

"I'm stuck with you forever now, am I?"

"Unless you wanna crochet up some divorce papers, yes you are."

I go to glare at him just to find myself breaking out into laughter again. Can't stay mad at him, yanking him down by his collar so I can boop our noses together. 

The room is going fuzzy. Conversations are more distinguishable by tone than actual words as people mill around, not that I care what they have to say anyways. I just try to drag Herc off to get me another shot as he works to stop me, Herc ultimately winning when he sits down on my lap.

"Mon amour I am fine I can handle myself. You said you trust me-"

"I don't want you so wasted you can't take care of the kids. And, based on the fact you haven't noticed Burr kissing your agent, you're pretty far gone already."

"Oh mon dieu-"

A quick point in the general direction of the two of them is all I need. About ten feet to my left they're curled up on a love seat ugly-laughing like dorks between little pecks that make my heart melt. 

"They're made for each other I swear. Just- they're so happy. It's what they needed. Two insecure mates who don't see each other's flaws and compliment the shit out of each other. Maybe he'll even be enough for Adrienne to stay."

I don't know what Herc's reaction is to that last comment. I can't really read his face. Just give up and snuggle in tighter with my head on his shoulder. Let his strong arms support me and sync our breathing. Stay close to him, because right now he's all that matters.

-Herc POV-

I lost my husband. 

How? I don't know. But I went to the washroom and he fucked right off which is not a good sign. But he can handle himself for five more minutes while I go check on the kids. I hope.

The basement is... interesting. I internally question why the fuck the stairs have been replaced by an inflatable slide but this entire room turns out to be fit for a clown so I count my loss and slide down the stairs face-first.

"Hey Mads, What the fuck?"

"Uncle Thomas set this up for us! Isn't it cool? You get to virtually assassinate people! And the avatars are hot bad ass women, even if the suits aren't practical."

George is splayed out on the couch with his head in Madison's lap, who is nudging out pointers and directions. Samuel does not seem to be so sure he's enjoying this as the one currently playing, but that's the least of my priorities. 

"Since when is Thomas Jefferson anybody's uncle? Like what did I miss here?"

"He said to call him that. We figured he came from Laff's side, they're practically identical."

"No they are fucking not! Laff is the hot one! Don't you dare- this is Marie slander and I will not stand for it!"

The Marie in question lets out a giggle from around the corner and boy was I unprepared for the sight awaiting me.

This is the drunken idiots corner, apparently. Alex is diligently switching through tracks on an MP3 player, stopping on Call me by Your Name which John applauds. John is rooting through monopoly for money. And Laff has taken to dancing around a square support beam. 

"Laff- please get down baby. Stop twerking."

"You're not my mom, tu poisson."

"OOOOOH!"

"DAYAMN BOY, GET ROASTED!"

This is fine. Everything is fine. If no one is getting hurt-

"I'm gonna- I'm gonna- I'm gonna do a flip! Fuck yeah merde!"

"You will not. Get your ass over here, we're going home."

"You're gonna haves to pay if you wanna take me away pretty boy. I'm expensive."

I grab onto Laff's waist and drag him away myself as the three of them try to fight me off. I'm just glad my husband still has most of his clothes on, wouldn't be the first time I've had to drag him away after a full blown strip session.

The stairs. I hate these fucking stairs.

It's sober me dragging drunk Marie who is reluctant to go, vs drunk John and Alex who were having fun with their little games, vs a fucking bouncy castle of a stair case. It's not fun. But somehow, I do it. 

"Darling, you feeling okay?"

"Don't darling me, I was busy. Hashtag rich. You fucked it up weird man."

I assign James and Thomas the task of separating John and Alex from my kids because in approximately ten minutes both couples would have been fucking on whatever surfaces are horizontal enough for their needs. No one wants to see that. Especially three teens. 

But Thomas takes Laff from me instead. Tips my husbands head back and gives him a quick kiss before heading off to fight Alex. 

"So he's allowed to-"

"Shh. The numbers. They move."

With me distracted, Laff is able to run. Leaving me sprinting after him as he goes and presses his face against the microwave where Burr is microwaving a pizza pop while snuggling with Adrienne. 

"There's thirty seconds and then the year is done! Fuck the year!"

"That's a microwave buddy."

"Don't try to boss me. I will call my dads and they will bring hell upon you like they bring hell upon each other. Oh holy shit FIVE QUATRE TROIS DEUX UNE HAPPY NEW YEAR WHORES!  BEEP BEEEP  BITCHES!"

"Laffy please-"

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

Aaron is losing his shit as I attempt to pry my husband away from his food. Adrienne actually helps me which is nice. With his hands free from the door I'm able to get my hand over his mouth and pin him to my chest. It's awkward but it works.

There's a bang. Thomas has John in similar position while James struggles to keep Hamilton from slapping anyone. The drunks each have half a shirt or less on.

"Hercules pick a fucking bedroom and drop Marie there then get your ass over here and help!"

I do as instructed quickly, throwing Laff onto the bed and hoping he won't escape. With the three of us we're able to get John and Alex into separate bedrooms, Jefferson reasoning that he likes these sheets and he'll get them a cab later. 

"I should probably get home then. With the kids-"

"Nonsense! Stay the night. I have beds for the kids or they can pull out the couch downstairs! The teens will be fine. Hell, I'll give them my bed if-"

"No you fucking won't. That bed is probably nasty as fuck. Oh hell- you know what, the basement is fine. Thank you. This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that all of our kids are calling you uncle now, would it?"

"Blasphemy. Absolute nonsense. Now, you two have fun. But if you're actually having fun, use the shower. My FIANCÉ and I are going to go make sure the teens are well fed. Fourteen year olds need like- water and shit. I'll hook up Laff's girl and her lover while I'm at it. Yes sir, have no fear, your dude Thomas is here! And please, if you do wanna fuck, don't be too loud."

Thomas lets out a whoop as he sprints off somewhere, James apologizing quickly before smiling and running after his man. This will either go great or bad but that's only two options so I say fuck it and go to deal with Laff. 

Who isn't where I left him.

A quick scan of the room tells me all I need to know. It's actually a nice room, lavender and periwinkle with white accents, but the bed is empty save for a pair of feet sticking out from beneath it.

"Honey. What are you doing?"

"Go away!"

"You need to get out from there. Let's get you to bed love."

"Nuh uh I don't want to and you can't make me! I don't want you here either so leave me alone!"

I grab his damn ankles and with a swift yank, he's out. He's evidently been crying but he won't look at me, curling up in a ball on the floor and wincing at my touch.

"What the fuck-"

"I- I heard you guys talking I'm not having sex I have a husband you're gonna have to kill me instead I'm not doing this again please don't make me do this again please don't hurt me I don't wanna die!"

"Shh. Honey-"

He's on the verge of a panic attack. Shaking, breathing laboured, can't focus on anything. I hesitate a second before hoisting him up and onto the bed, keeping him in my lap so I can hold him up and get him out of that damn ball that's going to make everything worse.

"Marie. Baby. Chin back, I need you to try and relax here. Look at me darling."

"Herc?"

"Yes it's Hercules. Your husband. I'm not gonna hurt you okay? You're okay. I need you to talk to me here love. You have ferrets. Can you tell me the names of the ferrets?"

"There's- oh merde there's a lot of ferrets. There's Flip and there's Tony- and- and Draco and Enjolras and Daisy and one for my dad- the furry fuck au francais and- uh- Sam Adams- I want my ferrets Hercules. Want the kids. Hell I even want your stupid cat!"

He's crying still but at least it's not a panic attack. He's distracted. I can deal with emotional and drunk Laff. He leans against my chest and I lay down, combing through his hair and pressing kisses to his forehead. Stay soft with him and give him the snuggles he both needs and deserves.

"I need everyone to be okay."