Y'all thought that was the end?

-Laff POV-

What we believe to be pneumonia first set in... I believe a week ago? Doesn't really matter. It was fairly close to the time I came off my medication and hell was it taking a toll on my body. 

But there was no way in hell I was heading to get it checked out, or worse yet dragged to the hospital. If I'm dying I'm doing it here, and if I'm not dying I have no reason for assistance. Made Herc promise he wouldn't send me in no matter what happens.

Besides, there were other priorities. And right now, other problems.

"No! Damnit Napoleon you are not going to see him!"

"Honey, you need this. We need this. The people need this! It's been a year, people want answers and they want statements. From both parties. He's your best friend, you can't tell me you aren't at all curious about-"

"He is nothing to me! You are not- I am tired of exploitation- my tragedy is not your news story! And you of all people do not get to honey me!"

"Well we're heading there one way or another, whether you're on board or not."

"What the fuck? Tu petite merde- What has Adrienne said?"

Silence.

"Oh God, please tell me you spoke to Adrienne about all of this before calling me up with a plan to contact my rapist? Tell me you weren't too damn dense to even speak with my agent and actual best French friend? Tell me you have at least one brain cell left full of coherent thought?"

"Well... we're going to get back to you on this. And we'll certainly consider taking your opinions into consideration. Now, good day."

And the bitch hangs up. I just give up and break down on the floor. Herc is asleep, he isn't required to wake up for these French phone call shit fests. But damn am I freaking out.

Because as if it weren't bad enough that the ass is going to see Alejandro, they also want me to go. Because that's just a fun Friday right there. Fly across an ocean to chit-chat with my rapist. What a party. Just what I need right now.

This is just the start of a very, very long morning. A long, stressful, adventure of an annoying morning. The first I don't even know how many hours spent awake and hurting in here, everyone else happy and asleep as they should be as I was left alone with my intrusive thoughts. 

So here I am now.

Rocking pathetically as I sit on the bathroom floor. My throat hurts, especially irritated from throwing up yet again the minute I hung up the phone, and then another two times after that until all that was left was retching. It hurts, it all fucking hurts so much. Comes to the point where it always does, the point I want the pain to stop in any way possible, the coughing fit I'm thrown into solving nothing. 

This has become a fairly average morning, sitting here and crying as I get sick. Carefully, I get to my feet. Ignore the headache as I stand up. I want to go back to bed. I'm tired, so fucking tired. 

Of all of this.

I ignore the now less than perfect state of the washroom and wash my face before heading outside. I'll deal with it later. After my nap. Leaning against the wall, I take a quick breather before trying to walk again.

Mistake.

I clutch my chest as a sharp pain is driven through it.

Just anxiety. It's all just anxiety, I'm fine. Nothing Hercules and a nap can't fix, maybe a water if I'm lucky. Need to stop freaking out and chill, it'll only solve itself if I calm down.

As fast as I can, which isn't very, I make my way over to the bedroom as the room begins to fade. Black spots taking over the edge of my vision. I feel myself hyperventilating as everything fogs, hurting more with each quick breath. 

Absolutely panicking at this point, I'm able to push open the door to our room. I gasp as a wave of dizziness hits me. The pain in my chest plunges deeper, and I let out a choked sob.

But then I manage to see Hercules.

And I know it's all going to be okay.

-Herc POV-

I'm sitting on the bed waiting for Laff to come give me my morning kisses when I watch my wife walk into the room, smile up at me, and promptly crumple to the ground.

Pulling out my phone to call 911, I rush to his side.

"Don't call, Herc. There's no need."

"Yes there is! Don't deny you're in pain. You're sick, you need help!"

"That's not what I meant and you know it. There's no time. Besides. I'm tired of fighting the inevitable. Tired of fighting what I can't beat. If this has to be how I go out, just let me go out as yours. Right here, in your arms. It's a better death than most get."

"Baby- baby you aren't dying. You aren't dying baby. Don't talk like that. You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry. Je suis tellement désolé. Don't be mad with me?"

"Of course not beautiful. Not mad at you. Could never be mad at you, I love you too much for that. I'm mad at whatever the fuck is happening to you. Mad at everything but you. But not at you. Just keep holding on baby, doing so well. Such a good girl."

"Really?"

It's quiet. It's broken. It positively breaks my heart. Laff is the strong one and now I'm facing the prospect of the unimaginable and he can't help, can't even help himself. 

"Yeah. Yeah of course."

"Thank you."

I clutch Laff to my chest as his breathing becomes shallow. He continues to smile at me, wincing slightly with every breath he manages to take.

"Hey, beautiful. Look at me. Look at me honey. You're okay. Come on, you're better than this."

"Better than what, dying? Mon amour, you can only out run death so many times before it catches up with you. I've had one too many run-ins to be probable. It appears- it appears that the cat has finally run out of lives." 

It's enough to get me to laugh for about 0.5 seconds, but then the small joke is over and I'm left shaking. Can feel him squirming, attempting to hop up and comfort me no doubt, but I have to hold Laff down. Can tell moving is making it worse and as selfish as it is I want him around for as long as I can keep him.

I stop for a second and focus on their eyes. On their soft smile, the way the corners of his mouth twitch with each breath. Which is when I really break down, positively sobbing as he clutches onto my wrist.

"Laff, Laff I can't do this. I can't lose you."

"I do not believe that is up to me to decide."

"No. I need you, please, please Marie. Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de La Fayette, tell me you're okay! Please, tell me you're okay!"

"It's all going to be okay."

"That's not what I-"

Laff shakes his head softly, humming as I clutch his hand to my chest. He's mumbling along, finally picking up to an audible volume as I lie beside him.

"Long nights, strange men-"

"Oh, no, baby-"

"And they say, she's in the class A team. Stuck in her daydream, been this way since eighteen but lately, her face seems slowly sinking, wasting, crumbling like pastries, and they scream, the worst things in life come free to us."

"Laffy, beautiful, please it's okay. You're okay love please don't-"

"It's too cold outside, for angels to fly. The angel will die-"

"No, no no no. Shh! Laff stop! Please, please Laff stop!"

I can feel him shaking against me, his nails digging into my arm as he clutches on. He looks ready to cry and I sit myself back up so I can fluff along his hair.

I don't want my Laffy crying. My Laffy hurting. My Laffy isn't supposed to be in pain ever again.

"Laffy, babe. My radiant wife. Who I somehow got to fall for me twice. I love you darling."

"Thanks Herc. For everything. It's been a good run. A good life with you."

"Don't say it like that! There's so much more to come babe. It's okay. You're okay. It's all going to be okay."

"It's not. I'm not. We both know that. And that's okay."

His eyes flutter slightly and his breathing hitches. I pet his hair back gently as he giggles, as if he has not a care in the world. 

His chest stops a moment before finally rising again.

"Laff, please hang in there. This- this can't be goodbye. I love you. I love you Laff."

"Mon fleur, I love you too. Never forget that. But it's time to let go. And don't think of it as a good bye, just a- how you say- a see you later. Je t'aime amour."

I sob as his eyes close, one final grimace before he goes back to his usual smile. 

"I love you. So much. I promise I'll never let you go, okay? I'll love you forever babe. You did everything for me. There's one last thing I need to ask you to do Laffy. Open your eyes for me babe, tell me it'll be okay. Tell me you're okay."

There's no reaction from him. I pull my phone back to me and start to log in.

There's still a chance.

He could wake up.

I need him to wake up.

"Laff, you're scaring me. Open your eyes Laff. Laff! Laff, wake up! I love you Laff, I love you so much. I always have, and I always will. But I need you to open your eyes."

The rising and falling of his chest finally stopping.

No. 

"Laff? Laff, please. Please wake up Laff. I'm not ready to let go. I still need you! Laff!"

I shake him roughly. But it's too late. He's not breathing.

No, no, no.

"Someone help! Please!"

I set him down, placing my hands on his chest. 

One, two, three. Up, down, up.

Breathe.

Compression after compression, I attempt to force the life back into my husband. 

Laff is going to wake up.

He has too.

If I keep going long enough it has to work.

This is proper CPR, CPR always works. 

I never thought Laff was right when he said I'd need it some day.

Pinch his nose and breathe two deep breaths. Go back to pushing down, my hands forcing his rib cage up and down over and over.

Over and over.

Why is CPR not working? Shouldn't he be awake by now?

Eventually, my arms grow weak and I find myself falling on top of him. I clutch onto him, burying my face in his now still chest.

No arms wrap around me. No one comforts me.

The only one who could is gone.

"Please Laff! Don't leave me now. I'm not ready to be alone."

My fingers twist into his hair, and I gently plant a kiss on his cheek.

"I need you."

His smile remains on his face. But there's no life in him anymore.

I sit there on top of him. Holding him. Missing him already.

He can't be gone.

He was just grinning at me. Holding me. Loving me.

Lafayette can't die.

"Please, Laff. I'd rather hold you forever than be forced to leave you. I can't let you go."

I pick him up, shuddering as his head tips back. He feels so heavy as I set him on our bed. I pull him onto me so his head can lay on my chest. Not that it matters.

I gently caress his face, running my hands along his body as he lies on me.

"Wake up, Laff. You need to wake up."

I press my lips to his, softly kissing him like he did to me every morning.

But nothing changes, of course. This isn't a fairytale where he'll magically awake. True loves kiss isn't bringing him back to life.

"I couldn't save you. I never could seem to protect you from anything. I'm sorry Laff. Please forgive me."

The man on my chest just smiles. Unchanging. Unfazed. Happy.

He was always so happy.

I squeeze him as I cry harder. He's completely limp in my arms as I pull him closer.

And, for the first time in over thirteen years, I pray. 

I pray he'll be safe. He'll be okay. He'll meet his mother. That someday I'll join him. And we'll be together again, forever.

"I don't know who's up there, watching over us, but you need to do me a favor. Take care of her for me. Because you've just got your angel back."