I just wanted to be safe and put a TW on this specific chapter, I don't know how bad it is but it's pretty heavy.

-Herc POV-

I watch Lafayette walk down the aisle towards me, a dad on either side. I wipe my palms off on my suit as he comes closer, nervous.

Washindad and Mr. Fayette head to the pews, and I smile at my fiancé. He looks stunning in his dress, and the priest begins to read from the paper.

I lose track of what he's saying, lost in Laff's eyes.

"Hercules Mulligan! Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do!"

"And Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de Marquis de La Fayette, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"No." The room is spinning, I hear someone gasp. Lafayette turns away from me, and I look at the priest who shrugs and walks out of the room.

"Wha-"

"No. Please, no!"

I wake up with a start to find Laff curled up in a ball beside me. I place my hand on his back, flinching when he jumps away.

"Stay back!"

"Laff, it's me. I'm not gonna hurt you."

He nods his head and wipes at his face, but I don't miss the tears that have dried overnight.

"Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine." He puts on a smile, and I reach out my hand. 

"You'd tell me if-"

"I'll be fine." His voice is now firm, and he pulls himself back to me.

"Laff, you were talking in your sleep."

"Shit, did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, but it's fine. At least it's not stupid o'clock like before."

I flop down onto my pillow, rubbing the back of Laff's hand.

"Are you sure you're okay to get married tomorrow? You don't look so great, and you were talking about-"

"I'm. Fine. Give me a minute and I'll go start breakfast." He turns his back to me, and I sigh as his hand slides away, curling into a ball.

I hop out of bed, slipping on a knitted beanie and a T-shirt. There's an object resting on my sketchbook, and I feel my breath catch as I realize what it is. Laff took off his ring. 

There's a reason, Herc, there has to be. He loves you, he was excited when you proposed. Maybe it's too tight, maybe he didn't want to wear it in the shower. Or, maybe he changed his mind.

I glance back at the lump on the bed before scooping up my ferret and heading to the couch. Laff exits the bedroom a few minutes later, wearing his classic fedora-headphone combo.

Smiling, I watch as he pulls out bowls and whisks. Lafayette becomes a different person in the kitchen, he gets a spark in him that lights up the room. I creep up behind him, dipping my fingers into the flour. He spins around to use the stove that I'm sitting on, and I blow the powder into his face.

All I get is a frown in response, Lafayette glares at me with his arms crossed.

"You got a little something right here..." I wipe at his cheek, effectively spreading more powder across his face. He pulls my hand down with a sigh, and I turn to leave.

I ruined the moment, he was finally feeling himself and I wrecked it.

There's a noise behind me, and I feel my hat being yanked off. I don't even have time to fully turn around before a warm liquid drips down my forehead.

Lafayette just smirks at me, eggshells in hand. I yank the nearest thing off the counter, a bottle of whipped cream, as he scurries down the hall. The ferrets scamper behind him, and I bring up the rear. I wipe the goo off my face with the back of my hand as Laff turns the corner. The door begins to shut, but I'm able to stop it with my shoulder. 

I wrestle into the gap as Lafayette laughs, and I press him into the corner. Flipping off the cap, I spray out a tiny swirl and boop him on the nose.

"There. We're even."

"No, not yet we aren't. You started this, I get final shot."

"Oh yeah? What do you have left to throw at me?"

"Myself."

I stumble back as he leaps onto my front, wrapping around me like a koala. Grabbing onto his hips, I walk us over too the nearest block and sit down. He presses his nose against mine, and I smile as I feel cream stick to my face.

His arms wrap around my neck, and  I close my eyes as our lips press together. I tighten the grip on his waist, pulling him closer. I pull my head back slightly, separating us. 

"Are you sure about this?"

He nods his head, and I place a hand on his chest as he leans back in.

"Promise you'll tell me if you need to stop."

"I promise. But I'm going to need to practice for tomorrow night." He winks at me, and I smile as he pulls towards me. We kiss once again, and I feel his hand slide down. I make a small noise as he grabs my butt. My own hands slip into his hoodie, and I trace along his back where his tattoo should be.

My fingers outline the letters, I've seen it enough times to know the spacing. 

I give my leg a shake as Tony attempts to climb it. It's not effective, he continues his way up me and onto Laff. He lets out a weird shrieking noise, and I pull him off by some part of his long torso. He gives me a look as I set him on the floor, watching him run out of the room.

"That's one way to wreck the mood."

"It's okay, mon amour. I need to finish breakfast anyways."

I set him down on the floor, dragging him to the kitchen as he slides along on his socks. He laughs as I pull him to his feet, giving me a peck on the cheek before heading back to his crepes.

That's going to be my husband, starting tomorrow.

-Laff POV-

So, this is it. 

Tomorrow I'm getting married. My father flies in later today, right before rehearsal. The cake is done and the venue is set up. 

I'm the only thing here that isn't ready.

I slip my ring back on, twirling it around my finger. I took it off last night, not wanting Herc to have to do it.

I look down at the bottle in my hands. There's enough in here. I could do it.

But I won't, I'm a coward. I was scared that night, and I still am.

I can't bring myself to lift the bottle to my lips, to tip it back and stop thinking.

I remember that feeling, reading the note that pronounced John dead. The look in Herc's eyes as he stared into the sea, searching for a sign of life.

What would happen to him if he saw me on the floor, unresponsive. 

I though I was dying the other night, everything hurt as I was smothered by invisible hands. 

Would it hurt if I were to die now, fall asleep and never wake up? Or worse, what if I do wake up? What would I say to my fiancé as I lay in the hospital?

"Yeah, I attempted to kill my self the day before our wedding. It's not your fault. Sorry."

I want to get away, but this isn't the answer. Besides, I don't deserve the easy way out.

I set the pills back down, unable to take even my nightly dose.

Why did this have to happen? Why didn't I call out? Why didn't I stay with the girls? Why didn't I realize what was wrong? Why do I keep pushing Herc away? Why can't I be a good person and show him love? Why won't the memories leave me alone?

Why, why why?

I turn on the water before peeling off my clothes and sitting on the bottom of the shower. My tears mix with the water as it rains down around me, and I pull at my hair. 

I need to do better.

"Herc."

"Yeah babe?"

"Are you nervous for tomorrow?"

His head peeks around the corner, now clean of any cooking ingredients.

"No, why? It's going to be great!"

"Yeah, what could go wrong?" I smile at him, making my way to where he stands. He lets out a nervous chuckle, and I grab his hand.

"I love you, mon fleur. Remember that."

I pace around in a circle, nervous as hell. It's just a trial run, you'll be fine Laff. Get a grip.

I stand with John, wearing a dress from my closet. Hercules won't even let me look at the design of my actual dress until tomorrow when I'm wearing it.

He just watches me, a big stupid grin on his face.

"John, what if I mess up? What if I say yes to the wrong thing? What if Herc says no? What if I say no?"

He places a hand on my chest, preventing me from moving.

"Eliza, Maria, we have a nervous bride on the loose! I need back-up, stat!"

The two girls grab onto my shoulders, and I'm led to the coat room.

"What wrong Laff?"

"I don't want to screw this up, I've been waiting for this wedding for five years."

"Tonight's the rehearsal, it's not a big deal. And tomorrow will be fun, you'll have your hair done and your dress on."

"You'll look stunning, and you'll have a great time."

"Tomorrow's going to be your best night, possibly ever, there's no way you could screw it up!"

"John!"

"Not helping!"

I let out a small giggle as they swat Johns shoulders, who sticks out his tongue in response. There's a chime at the door, and I look up to see my father walk in. I rush over to greet him, smiling as he shakes my hand.

"Well, when do I get to meet him?" He gives me a soft smile, the corners of his mouth just barely lifting. I drag him over to where my fiancé stands, awkwardly chatting with James and that crew.

"Mr. Fayette, good to see you!"

"Thomas, it's been awhile. How've you been?"

The two of them chat, my father easily distracted by anyone he knows. I wrap an arm around Herc's shoulder, clearing my throat.

"So, you're the one who stole my boys heart?"

"Yes, sir. At least, I think so." I give him a peck on the cheek, grinning at his awkwardness around my dad. I'm just glad I never had to worry about meetings his parents, although, it would likely end with another run-in with the cops after what they put him through.

I don't need their approval, and neither does Herc. We have the Washington's, and now my dad, to root for us. 

The two of them exchange formalities, both tense in their posture.

"Herc, why don't you tell him about the ferrets?"

"You got roped in too?"

"Yeah, I'd do anything for this guy. Why, what did he talk you into?"

"Everything. By the time he was 5 we had two cats and a mouse."

Herc snickers, and I join him. What can I say, I'm a persuasive person. Most of the time.

"Sounds about right. We're up to two ferrets and a dog."

"The dog was all you!"

"Fine, the dog was my fault. But those furry harbingers of chaos are your children."

"What'd you name them?"

"We have Flip, BonBon, and Tony."

"I still like the French name you came up with better."

"Son, what did you suggest?"

"Baise floue, he has no idea what it means."

I laugh with my father as Hercules stares at his feet.

"That's worse than schrodinger the cat."

We continue talking, both about France and America. Herc smiles as we tell my dad about when he set the oven on fire, and Jefferson and I snort as we talk about that time we switched places.

"Oui oui mon ami, je m'appelle Lafayette!"

"It is I, Thomas Jefferson! I love me some whiskey but refuse to pay tax."

We continue to mock each other, much less convincing than the day it happened.

Soon enough, the rehearsal is starting. Everyone is here, and we head to the hallway.

My dad accepts me, I'm getting married tomorrow, and after that Herc will be mine and I'll be his. Forever. I just need to fix myself first.

I take a deep breath and pull him closer.

"Mon fleur, can we try something?"

He nods, and I pull his hands to my face. I place one of his hands in my hair.

This is Herc. He would never hurt you. Just look at him and you'll be fine. I tense up slightly as he runs his fingers through my afro. I don't stop him though, I just swallow the lump in my throat and move his other hand to my chest.

"Laff, what are you-"

"I need to try something, if you're comfortable with it."

"Okay, but be careful."

I set his hands an my wrists, wrapping his fingers around them.

I can hardly move as it is, I have no way to loosen his grip. My hands are pinned at my sides, first by his hands and then by his legs as he unbuttons his shirt.

I move his hand to my waist.

He grabs on tight, pushing me down. I can feel his weight on top of me. 

I feel him stroke my side, his other hand still by my head.

He yanks at my hair, pulling it as he smashes his lips to mine.

His fingers play with the fluffy mess that is my hair, the way he always has. 

I'm fine. I need to do this. Get it over with now, so I can be normal again. Get a hold on yourself, Laff. 

I guide his hand towards my thigh, and I feel my body go rigid under his touch.

His grip tightens around me. He's holding me down, I can't fight back. I need to push him off. Get him away from me.

I yank my leg away, squeezing Herc's arm.

"I'm sorry, I thought maybe I could somehow..."

"Shhhh, don't be sorry Laff. We don't need that kind of relationship if you aren't ready. Don't force it." He pulls me tight against my chest, and I cling to him. My face burns as tears streak down it.

"I just want things to go back to how they were."