-Laff POV-

Hey so what the fuck?

"You feeling okay babydoll?"

"Hurts."

I reattempt my morning stretchy-stretch but it all just pulls at my hips funny. Feels tight and sore and shitty, Herc kissing me quick as I look down and wake up properly. 

Remember the events of last night. 

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are honey. Talk to me. Please."

"Non."

"You do so much for me love. Take care of me constantly, especially when I'm not sure of myself, and you're the only one I've ever been able to really count on. My sweet, adorable wife. Let me do the same for you. It hurts when you push me away and I feel like I can't help you, you need to at least let me try. You've always had my back and I need you to let me have yours. Let me love you and appreciate you and make this better for you."

Fuck Herc. 

Fuck him and his fancy pep-talks and the fact that he's always right. 

"I love you."

"I know. And I love you too baby. But come on, stop avoiding me."

I'm pulled in for a kiss that I sink into. Melt against Herc, fucking loving the way his hands come to brush along my cheeks. Open my mouth for more, desperate for more, ending up whining when I'm pushed back away.

"I wasn't done."

"You want more you're gonna have to talk."

"How dare you use my need for affection against me. I just- I don't know. Wasn't feeling myself. And then I wasn't feeling anything. And the closer I tried to push myself, the closer I tried to get to you, the worse it got. And now it's been a year since that stupid fucking trip and I still wish I hadn't gone just as much now as I did the first week I got back. I'm done. Done fighting this shit. Just wanna be done for a bit. Please."

"There we go. That's a good girl. See, progress."

Herc seems to regret his middle statement the second it leaves his mouth which just makes it that much better. It's honestly more comforting and soft than I care to admit, Herc still frozen in place as I sneak another kiss.

"You're adorable sweetheart."

"And we still need to figure this out. So just ignore what I said and-"

"No, I don't think I will."

I have somehow managed to break Herc even more.

"I hate not being able to protect you guys. Makes me feel like I'm failing all the damn time and I just- God do I hate it. Between you and the kids and everyone else it all just broke. Figured if it helps everyone else- might as well give it a shot. And I hate it because now I want to do it again."

"We aren't doing that love. Last night was bad enough, we're done hurting. Be honest with me here, am I going to need to Laff proof the house? Because you know damn well we still have those locks and spare doorknobs. And I don't want you embarrassed for needing help, I need you doing what's going to help you and keep you safe. If need be we'll get John to-"

"No! We aren't telling anyone about this! this is between you and me, which is already twice as many people as I had planned. Nobody else gets to know! Please Herc- I hate this enough already."

"That's okay. You just need to tell me babe. Tell me what's going to help you. You're tired. You're overworking yourself. It's stressful as fuck. So we'll see what we can get you into. See if we can get you something to relax with so you don't have to be pissed at the world and take it out on yourself. And honey, it's been a whole year since you left. And you survived it, yeah? Doing so well baby."

"Feels like I'm not- I'm not fixing myself fast enough. I only have twenty days left until- that- and it shouldn't bother me anymore but it does. I wish it never happened but more than that I wish i could just move on. I want to be okay again. Like I was before."

"Darling I get that. But you can't rush progress. You've already come so far. We can snuggle, you aren't having all those panic attacks, and I don't have to call you out of your half-hour showers that are hotter than the seventh layer of hell. When you first came back you wouldn't even touch me. And look at you now. You're your usual, physical affection requiring, needy self. So you don't get to pretend that you haven't made it phenomenally far and you don't get to pretend that you aren't the strongest fucking person I know. I'm proud of you. So damn proud. And nothing is going to change that. I love you darling. Have for about half my life. And I know you, and I know that everything I love about you has not changed one bit over all those years. You've only gotten better and better sweetheart. Wouldn't trade you, any part of you, for the world."

I started crying about two sentences into that. Am completely sobbing by the end of it, clutching onto Herc as his hands run through my hair. Let him shower my face with kisses, doing the same to him as well as I can. Refuse to either let him go or let him let go of me, stopping my shaking and sobs long enough to pull him in for a nice, long, proper kiss.

"You're going to be okay honey."

And, coming from him, I don't seem to be able to doubt it.

-Herc POV-

Every single one of the kids was in complete chaos. 

Samuel was crying, Madison was freaking out, Laff was hurting, Usnavi was bouncing off the walls excited af, and Anne was clinging on to my back for dear life because, again, Laff was sore and she couldn't simply hang on him right now. 

"What the hell-ck is going on with you two, first of all?"

Several rounds of sign later that I can only pick out a few words from, we get a verbal answer from our kid.

"Samuel isn't listening and is being a reckless-"

"MADS STOLE MY BINDER!"

Well that just makes Anne worse, also scaring the crap out of both Laff and myself. Sam doesn't speak, let alone yell, and before I know it Laff is shooting up and snatching up the little dude.

"Shh, honey, you're okay. Madison you aren't allowed to take Samuel's-"

"He was wearing it for 18 fucking hours straight! He slept with it on and I had to snatch it up while he was in the shower because I am not letting my boyfriend fuck up his chest!"

"The dysphoria- honey, I know. I know how you feel sweetheart but you need to stay safe. It's shitty, it sucks, but you're going to hurt yourself if you do this. We'll get you whatever you need but you need to use it properly. You know the rules. No more than eight hours and Sundays are taken off. As much as you may hate your chest and may not care about it, you need to take care of it handsome."

"Mads go give it back. You still don't get to just steal what Samuel needs to feel like himself whenever you want. That is for the adults to work through."

"You're fucking twenty two, don't even with that adult bullshit. I was born when you boys were eight years old. But yeah, I'll give my boyfriend his binder back."

One problem solved.

Damn Hercules, you are on fire today!

With the fighting over Anne is alright. Takes enough interest in Usnavi and his damn kazoo sounds to be placed on the couch and off my back, said kazoo kid immediately jumping on Laff's face over the back of the couch. Rip Lafayette 2021, you will be missed.

"Usnavi what the-"

*KazoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*

"I AM OFFICIALLY 6 AND SEVENTY-TWO SEVENTY-THIRDS! I am officially gonna be a big kid, great merde this is amazing!"

"Language young man!"

"Soy prácticamente un adulto, tiempo para no-no palabras. Bitch!"

"Daddy what's a bitch?"

"Usnavi is a little b- It's a word that neither of you two are allowed to say and next time you do I'm going to have to tickle it out of you so I advise you to stop. And Laff, I won't hesitate to harass you either if you happen to give me a reason to."

"YOU'RE GETTING DISTRACTED! IT IS ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY PEOPLE! THIS AIN'T A JOKE! I Am aBOUT tO BE SeVeN! SiETE!!!"

Laff gives me a look that seems to convey 'you picked this one,' still struggling a bit to get him into a manageable position. Doubled with Samuel having a crisis on his lap and Anne leaning into the two of them he's pretty well surrounded. So I do the only reasonable thing there is.

Join right in and throw myself on top of Laff as well.

The whole family just kind of ends up in this messed up pile, the kids laughing when I throw them off for a quick second to get closer to Laff before climbing back on top. My husband allows me to take hold of his hands without question, nuzzling into my neck nicely.

"See babe. We all need you. Wouldn't be the same without you here. And none of us want to see you suffering."

"I love you. Love you all. And darling, this is going to be your best birthday ever, just you wait. But Samuel, honey- your voice is so damn wonderful."

"I know right! That's what I said when I was shot! That just might be my favorite voice right there."

'Too soft. Don't like it.'

"Hey. I've been there, I feel that. I hated my accent for years and then puberty hit and my voice dropped an octave which sucked even more. But you get through it. And, someday we can start you on T if that's what you want. Ork sign language works wonderfully if that's what makes you comfortable. I just don't want you hating something you should be able to love."

"We've all been through that cycle one too many times kid. Teenager crud is rough. But hey! At least you don't look like Laff did."

I get the loudest fucking scoff there is, followed by a light slap. It's the reaction I wanted, a normal reaction from Laff, one that tells me he's chill enough to joke around and tease a bit.

"Don't even! I was the hottest thing there, and you were lucky to have already claimed me as yours. You almost failed algebra because you couldn't keep your eyes off of moi."

"I almost failed algebra because I'm gay. But you, you did so much weird shit. I'm talking everything from 1800's ball gowns and corsets in English to stripper heels and leather booty shorts in history. And that year you dyed your hair-"

"Hot pink suits me. It's fun and hot, just like me, what more do you need? And realizing that high school was temporary and that nothing I did would matter in the long run mattered, allowing myself to have fun and use it for my own personal enjoyment was the best thing I ever did. So long as it doesn't hurt anyone, you just need to say heck it once in awhile. And it worked! Because I got to keep you. My sweet little man."

"Ew. Romance and affection. Disgusting."

"Says the one with two boyfriends. Jefferson sent me the photos sweetheart. And you all are so damn adorable!"

"Kay. Well I'm leaving before all this sweet shit makes me sick. You guys have fun!"

Samuel exits as well. leaving just Laff and I, as well as the youngins. 

"Now! Onto planning! It's time for the best birthday party to ever exist to actually start existing!"