Wasn't gonna post today, but I feel obligated to work on my Mullette book on my dudes birthday. 

Do you ever wonder what they think of this? 

Like, between him and Herc never actually meeting and the actual age gap... whatever. 

If you can see this, I'm terribly sorry sir.

-Laff POV-

"Wow Laff! Those are cool. The kids are going to love 'em."

"Yeah! The kids..."

I look down at the plastic sandwich cutter in my hand. 

All I want is some dinosaur shaped bread.

"We still haven't told anyone about the fact that we have three kids now."

"Can we tell my parents first? George, I mean."

"Yeah. Put 'em on speaker."

I whip out my phone and dial my dads number, not shocked when it's answered on the first ring. 

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is Herc, sir."

"No need to call me 'sir' son! For the last time, I'm Washingdad."

"No you aren't."

"Yes I am."

"No."

"Please. Call me by my proper title."

"Proper title? Alright then. Your proper title would be Washing-grandad."

There's a small silence, followed by a loud squealing.

"MaaaarrthaAAAAA! I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW!"

"WHAT THE HELL GEORGE?"

"YOUR SON IS ON THE PHONE!"

"LAFF! I WANNA TALK TO HIM! HAND ME THE DAMN PHONE GEORGE!"

"NUH-UH, HE CALLED ME!"

"AND YOU CALLED ME OVER. HAND OVER THE FUCKING TELEPHONE OR SO HELP ME I WILL-"

There's a whine followed by a small thump. I don't think I want to know what happened. Herc looks tired. I'm starting to regret this decision.

"Can you both of you stop yelling?"

"Can one of you explain why my husband is now crying on the floor?"

"I don't think anyone here knows the answer to that, ma'am."

"But Grandma Martha has a nice ring to it, wouldn't you say?"

I hang up as there's another shriek from the end of the line. I pocket my phone, ignoring the dinging as texts fly in. 

That was fun.

Herc looks at me nervously before breaking into his dorky smile. 

Dear lord, I love that smile.

"Should I call John and Alex?"

"That's no fun. We gotta show them!"

"I don't think the kids'll all come sit still for a photo."

"No, but I will."

I grab a large bowl from the counter I'm sitting on and stuff it under my shirt. Herc laughs as I do that weird 'holy shit I felt a kick' pose.

"Radiant bride just got pregonanté." 

"I think we're missing at least three key elements for that to happen."

"Sorry..."

I'm not sure what he thinks we're missing, the ability or the relationship. Herc must notice my frown because he presses our foreheads together, placing his hands on my 'stomach'.

"I love you Laffy, 'Kay?"

"Love you too."

Herc presses his lips to mine, and I hesitantly kiss back. It's not the most comfortable seeing as there's a large bowl blocking us, but I don't care. His hands run down my sides, settling on my hips and attempting to pull me closer. 

He lets out a small huff as it proves unsuccessful.

"Don't like this pregnant thing. Can't reach you."

"Good thing it's only for a few minutes then."

I gently push him away from me, handing him my phone. Flipping myself so I can lean sideways, I bend one leg up and wink at him as I blow a kiss.

"That's my sexy ass French girl wife."

Oh, hell yes I am. All of those things.

I giggle as he snaps a photo before setting the camera back down. We rearrange and do a few more before Herc removes the bowl, pulling me back upright.

"Proper kiss now?"

I nod, pulling him forward to me. We're actually a similar height for once, me on the counter and him on tiptoe. My legs wrap around his waist as he once again grasps my own. I once again giggle like a dork as I'm pulled so I rest completely against him.

"Dads?"

I pull back quickly to find Usnavi staring up at us. He cocks his head, looking between my husband and I as he continues to hold onto me.

"What're you doing?"

"Kissing. What do you need buddy?"

"Madison is crying. It's really loud and I don't know why. She wouldn't let me in her room. She got mad when I tried to help her."

"You stay here, I'll go check on her."

Herc nods slightly, lifting me onto the floor. I give him another quick kiss before dashing off to the girls room.

"Mon fille?"

"Please don't call me that. And please go away."

"Mads, why are you crying?"

"I fucked up. Big time."

"Can I come in?"

"I don't want you to see me like this."

I press my back against the door, tapping on it lightly. There's no lock, I could just push in anyways.

 But I need to gain her trust.

"It can't be that bad, can it?"

"It can."

"I wouldn't know, I can't see."

There's a defeated sigh, and I stumble back slightly as my rest is moved back.

Oh no.

"I don't know what happened. I just hated it, a lot. I always have. It was just too much today."

She's crying. Her left hand is clutching her snipped hair. What remains is an uneven mess.

"We can fix this. It's okay."

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you Mads. If you want anything you just gotta ask."

"Please help."

I nod, turning her so I can see the back. It's still got about 2 inches at the shortest, so there's something to work with.

"Want me to even it out?"

She nods quickly, and I carry her to the bedroom where the hair scissors and razor are. 

I told John that high school cosmetology class would come in handy someday.

 Guess who fucking owes me yet another twenty bucks?

But enough about Johns unpaid debts, there's still the issue at hand.

I trim the top ends so they match up properly, having to shave most of the bottom. The result is something like a short and curly side-sweep. She smiles softly as I turn her in a mirror to see.

"See? It's all okay. You just gotta talk."

"I've tried before. I don't know what's going on, and the people I told weren't exactly helpful. There's something wrong with me."

"No, there isn't. I'm going to help you figure this out, okay?"

I pull her into my lap, letting her head rest on my shoulder. I ignore the consistent pinging noise coming from my pocket as I hold Madison in my lap.

"Sometimes I feel like a boy. Like today. But some days I'm fine being a girl, and some days I'm both, or neither, and I don't know why. It's not normal."

"Is that why you wanted that suit?"

"Mhmm. And the dress. I'm not sure what I want anymore Marie. I hate not knowing. I can't make up my mind."

"It's alright Mads. You don't have to choose anything. You just have to tell us when you do so we know and can figure out what works for you. We can do this, and Herc and I will support you with anything."

I carry her back to her own room, setting them down on the bed and heading to the closet. 

Gender fluid.

That's the thought that rings in my mind as I pull out a sweater for them. It's what makes the most sense from that description. But they'll have to find what they identify as themselves. 

With help, of course.

"Boy today you said?"

He nods, and I throw the hoodie at him before turning around. He coughs, arms crossed tightly over their chest as they stare up at me.

"Don't you care?"

"Of course I care Mads."

"But you aren't mad? You aren't going to yell at me? To try and fix me?"

"You can't fix perfection."

He offers a soft smile as I pop beside him, slowly and carefully placing a hand on their shoulder.

"Herc and I aren't going to hurt you, okay? We just want to keep all of you safe and happy. I couldn't care less if your a boy, girl or everything in between as long as you're responsible and a nice person."

"Thanks."

I pull them into my lap as their tears continue to flow. He lets out a small giggle as I tousle his hair, fluffing it up a bit before throwing on a hat.

"It's all going to be okay. I promise. We love you Mads, no matter what."

"Maybe you're actually alright, Marie."

"You keep calling me Marie. Why?"

"I'm sorry. You smiled when I said it. Is that wrong?"

He shrinks away a little before I squeeze him back against me.

"No. I just don't think anyone has ever really called me Marie. Even my mother grew out of it quickly. Long before she got sick. It's a change."

I smile down at him as he cocks his head slightly.

"Do you still want to be called Marie?"

"Yeah. I really do."

-Herc POV-

There's the sound of a door opening and closing once again. I look back from the TV to see see Lafayette, chin resting on Madison's head.

Although, I'm not sure if Madison is the right name for them.

Long wavy hair gone, they're wearing a sweater and awkwardly biting their lip as we stare at each other. I walk over to the pair of them, frowning as I look at what my child is dressed in.

"I can't believe this. What the hell are you wearing?"

"I-I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"Herc-"

"No, Laff. Look at this! What is this, anarchy?"

I gesture at the child in front of me, pointing at the top of their head.

"I can't believe you stole my hat."

Their eyes widen, and for the first time I realize they're crying.

I fucked up.

I gently pull them against my shoulder, wrapping them in my arms as I feel them shaking.

"Mads, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking, okay? It wasn't funny, I didn't realize how it sounded. Not to you. I promise I didn't mean any of that. Other than the fact about it being uncool that you stole my hat."

They let out a nervous chuckle as they remove my beanie from their head. They hold out my toque, and I shake my head before placing it back on theirs. 

"Keep it on. It suits you, kid."

Laff pries me off of Madison, holding them protectively to his chest as he frowns at me.

"Herc, I was actually ready to dump you! Like, what the heck? Don't play with emotions like that! You always forget you're the best liar. The only thing you can ever seem to keep straight seems to be your  face as you make us all believe your shiz."

I stick out my tongue at my husband, ducking behind the couch as Laff throws a pillow at me. Anne and Usnavi ignore us, very much fixated on the cartoon playing in front of them.

I race out from my cover, smacking my husband in the face with the cushion he threw. We fight for awhile, hurling soft things at each other until I miss and hit Madison in the face.

They tense up a second as I pick up the cushion that hit them from the floor.

"Oh no. I'm so sorry."

"You should be."

There's a mischievous twinkle in their eyes, and I soon find them hurling a pillow at my face as well. It's two vs. one now which doesn't seem fair. So I do what any grown man would do.

I race out of the room and lock the bedroom door behind me. 

There's a laughing from the other side, and I smile at Laff's giggle. It's a cute sound, light quick and feminine. I can picture his smile as he positions himself on the other side of the door.

I like it even more now that it's mixed with our child's laugh.

I search the room for something to use and... bingo. Dual wielding nerf guns, I unlock the door and take a step back.

"I am warning y'all, I am fully armed. Proceed with caution."

"No."

There's a bang as the door is thrust open, and I quickly shoot at me husband as he races towards me.

"Bish, watch your aim, that's my nose."

He rubs at where I hit him in the face, and I give him a quick kiss on the nose as I lower my guns. Something thunks into the back of my head, and I turn back to see Madison holding the pillow. 

Someone presses my wrists to my sides, and I struggle to get out of Laff's hug.

"What are you doing?"

"Holding you still."

I'm smacked in the chest by a still laughing Madison. I give up on pulling forward and shift backwards, pressing myself against Laff's chest. I can't get loose though.

Fuck him and his strong arms.

I accept my fate and twist back around, burying my face into Laff's chest as I'm smacked a few more times.

"So, I'm assuming I missed something while I watched Phineas and Ferb with the kids."

"Mads, you telling him or am I?"

"I'm a boy. And a girl. That's probably confusing. But Marie helped me look through some things and I think I'm gender fluid. That's what sounds the closest, for now at least. Is that okay?"

"Herc, you better fucking say yes without pulling any funny shit this time."

"Of course. Just let me know if you need anything."

Laff smiles at me before perking up suddenly.

"Herc, you've done binders for Oliver before. Would that be something you wanna try Mads?"

"Yes, please. If I could. That would be nice. Very."

"I'll get right on it then."

I smile into Laff's chest as Madison lets out another happy laugh. Whatever makes them happy is fine by me. No way in hell I'm making them hide who they are. 

I'm not my mother.

I give my husband a quick kiss as he releases my arms, pulling Madison between us. 

I give him a pouty look, smiling again when he presses a finger to my nose in a gentle boop. The two of us squeeze Madison between us, each holding each other in one arm and them in the other. They smile softly, leaning into the touch.

"I thought you weren't about this whole 'we're so happy together after all!' touching moment."

"Shhh, roll with it Laff!"

"Whatever. I'm going to watch TV."

I give my husband a pointed look before smiling and pulling him down to me. I slowly pull us towards the bed, pushing him down before flopping on top of him.

"Ahh- Herc-"

He winces, I feel him tense beneath me as he curls towards his chest.

"Babe, are you okay? I'm so sorry."

I roll off of him, pulling him to rest on me instead. He stays frozen like a scared deer in my arms for a minute before finally starting to relax a little. I just rub circles into his shoulders as he perks back up a little.

"I'm okay. It has nothing to do with you Herc. You didn't cause it. It's nothing to worry about."

"Laff, you're obviously in pain. Have you gone to the doctors?"

"Yeah, they said it was just anxiety. It'll be fine. After all, what do I have to be anxious about?"

We both chuckle softly, and I feel him slowly relax as he completely melts into me. I grab below his arms, hoisting him up so that his head rests next to mine. I look into his eyes and slowly move forward. Our lips press together softly, and I intertwine our legs beneath the sheets. 

"I love you."

"And I love you, Laff."

I smile as he pulls me back to him, hands slipping beneath my shirt. I carefully do the same to him, tracing the letters on his back with my thumb as we continue to kiss.  I love the feeling of holding him, knowing he wants me. The feeling that I can protect him. I can keep him safe. 

Laff pulls away slowly, cuddling into my chest as I pull him closer to me.

"See Laff? This is already the best relationship I could ask for. I'd be happy to do this for forever."

"Then let's."