Slenderman - "I am responsible for taking care of all these idiots and making sure they are good enough to stay here. I also tell the proxies what to do and when to do it."
Sally - "I'm just a kid. I don't really have a job or anything."
Laughing Jack - "I'm not really sure. I make candy for everyone though so maybe that's what I do. Most of it isn't poison, do you want some?"
Eyeless Jack - "Since I went to medical school, I make myself useful here by being Nurse Ann's assistant."
Ben Drowned - "I'm basically tech support. I have to fix it whenever something electronic isn't working. I'm good at it too, I can get most problems solved in under 10 minutes."
Jeff the Killer - "I'm the mansion's best killer. Obviously."
Nina the Killer - "I do enough killing to belong here, but other than that my only role is to impress Jeff!"
Homicidal Liu - "I don't know. Honestly, sometimes I think I'm only here to annoy Nurse Ann. I'm always breaking my stitches and having to get them fixed. Oh shut up! We're just as good as any of the other killers here! Maybe even better!"
Clockwork - "I'm just another killer. A really good one though."
Masky - "I'm the head proxy. The other guys are my team and I'm the leader. I wish I could fire Toby, but Slenderman won't let me."
Hoodie - "I'm second-in-command. If Masky c-can't work, then I'm the one in charge of the o-others."
Ticci Toby - "I'm just a r-regular proxy, but I - I want to b-be head p-proxy one day! If I k-keep bugging Masky, maybe o-one day he'll l-let me!"
Kate the Chaser - "First female proxy. We need more girls around here."
Nurse Ann - "I'm the nurse, duh. I have to deal with it whenever any of these guys get sick or hurt."
Judge Angels - "I use my sword to make sure everyone is being nice to each other. I don't often have to use it on most people but I have to hit Jeff with it at least twice a month. He never seems to learn."
Bloody Painter - "You see all those paintings of us hanging in the hallway? I made them. I also decorate the mansion for holidays and design bedroom doors for new creepypastas."
Puppeteer - "We have roles? That's new to me, I've just kinda been doing my own thing since I got here."
Zero - "Don't really have one. I just kill."
Kagekao - "I keep everyone entertained by playing my awesome pranks!"
Suicide Sadie - "I help out however I can, but I mostly just kill people."