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It's been a month since our date and we've been kicking it. We've been working on our project and we finished it a long time ago, now we're just hanging out with each other on our spare time.

"How many kids do you want?"

He asked as he laid down on my bed. We have gotten deeper and deeper when it comes to our conversations. We speak to each other like adults, not premature kids.

This isn't a 'what's your favorite color?' type of friendship. Surface level questions like that make me bored.

"I want 1 kid, 2 kids if my husband is extra fine"

"Girl you know I'm extra fine, you're looking at me right now"

I slapped his shoulder, laughing at him. He does this all the time. He asks me a question about the future then he inserts himself into my answer. I fall for his mess every time.

Deep within his jokes is truth though. He's serious about everything he says. It's rare to find him joking around when it comes to 'our' future together.

"Anyways chile, it's time for you to go. I gotta sleep"

I said as I put on my bonnet. This boy tries to sleep over almost every night he comes here. I don't be wanting to kick him out but I have to. I can't let him too comfortable.

My way of kicking him out is putting on my bonnet and getting ready for bed. He knows when I start getting ready it's his time to leave. He never takes my signs though.

"It's cool, let's go to sleep"

He said as he started taking off his shirt. I put my hand on his chest, stopping him from stripping in front of me.

I do not want to be laid up on my bed with him. It starts by being laid up with him then it goes on to us being intimate then boom, I turn out like Cassidy.

I mean there's nothing wrong with her getting pregnant in college. I just don't want that for myself.

"For one, you're not my nigga. We're not gonna be boo'ed up on my bed talking about how horny we are. And two, you already have a boner so I would leave if I were you. You won't want blue balls"

He instantly looked down. When he saw I wasn't playing he grabbed ten nearest pillow and slowly started backing out of the room. He yelled goodbye then ran out, with my pillow on his parts.

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⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

I stood In front of them in disbelief. Micheal, my boyfriend, was on top of Cassidy's naked body, having his way with her.

She had a smirk on her face as he looked shocked. This isn't the first time she gets involved with a boy that I like. She's has been doing this since middle school.

Everybody I liked she made sure to get to him first. That was her way of inserting her dominance. I didn't care before because those were just crushes, but this time she messed with my boyfriend.

The boy that came over for dinner with mom and dad a million times. The same boy that she knows is my first for everything. Out of anyone she could've chosen, she chose him.

But, he wasn't so innocent either. He let this happen. The fact that he fell for her that easily proves to me that he had some underlying feelings for her.

"How can you guys do this to me?"

Before I could even give them the time to answer I ran to them both. Punching them with all the built-up anger I had in me. I couldn't be stopped as I unleashed the anger issues I tried to hide.

"What's happening here?"

My mom screamed as she stormed into the room. She pulled back from them. Cassidy quickly wrapped herself in my blanket. All I could see is red. My sister and my boyfriend were having sex on my bed.

"Mom, I was just talking with him and she came in here acting all possessive. I think she dislocated my nose"

"Yes mom, they were speaking with their clothes off."

I said as I stormed off. I grabbed my car keys and left. I can't stand to be in this house right now.  I can already imagine them making up a well thought of lie about how I'm overreacting and they were just 'talking'.

This has been happening for years now. I'm surprised I'm not used to it yet.

I've been driving around for two hours now. The fact that my sister and my boyfriend might have been together this whole time started settling in. That's when I started to break down.

Tears fell onto my lap as my head hung low. I'm not strong enough to take this. I can't handle this right now.

I looked ahead and I saw the bridge I always went to to clear my head. I got out of my car and walked to it. The tears couldn't stop rolling down my cheeks as I looked down at the water.

It wouldn't hurt anyone if I were to jump right now. My parents and grandparents might miss me but they'll eventually get over it. I wasn't anyone special.

After a few minutes of thinking I came up with my decision.

I took off my jacket and laid it on the ground. I set on the edge of the bridge, staring down at the glistening water.

I took a deep breath and let go of the railing and dived in. The light from above started disappearing as I sunk deeper and deeper into the water.

I'm finally free, free from the troubles of the world.

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I woke up out of my sleep in a pool full of sweat. My face was drenched in liquid as I started wiping it away. For months now I've been having the same dream.

The dream where I kill myself because I found my boyfriend having sex with Cassidy.

I forgive them both for what they did to me long ago.
Holding them in my heart wasn't doing me any good nor was I gaining anything.

I made sure they got what was coming to them first. Whenever I would see Cassidy I would randomly beat her ass. She never saw me coming. She would mysteriously show up to school with a black eye and busted lips.

Don't be mistaken either. I didn't beat her ass over Michael. I dragged her for disrespecting me. She could've had sex with him in her room but she chose mine.

As for Michael's cheating ass, I just blocked him out of my life and went on with my life. I didn't want to waste my energy trying to figure out why he cheated on it.

I'll swallow a minivan before I ask a guy why her and not me.

I left it at that but one of my  friends wasn't having it. My gay friend went around the whole school telling people that they were dating.

It was a living nightmare for Michael. Everyone believed my friend since he never lied about things like that before. Once it was time for us to graduate he jet out of state. He didn't even attend graduation.

I looked at the clock and seen it was two in the morning. I have a couple of hours until I have to wake up. I forced myself to sleep so I won't be up all night, thinking about food and/or getting my back popped like a glow stick.

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"Up next is Iyanna and Serenity"

Mrs. Anderson said as she clapped her hands. It's time for us to present our clothes and I'm drained. I had to sketch and construct this dress all by myself.

Iyanna didn't even touch the sewing machine not once. She stayed on the phone the whole time. While I was making the clothes I was on the phone with Dominic so I wouldn't hear her conversation.

This whole being partners with Iyanna thing will never happen again. I'll rather take the L.

"This is my dress"

"Our dress", Iyanna quickly said.

(A/N: ^^^This dress was made by a black woman by the name of Daniela Tabois. If you're interested in buying this dress visit her website at danielatabois.com)

"The year of 1930 inspired this dress. The puff sleeve era was very popular during the time of the Renaissance. It took me two whole days to sew and structure this dress."

"She meant we"

"I said what I said"

I am not one of those people that let people take credit for their work. I can not stand there and let her say that we worked on the dress when it was just me.

She looks like she wanted to fight me or something. I turned around and faced her, daring her to say that I'm lying. Imma stick the dress up her ass.

"So you're telling me that she didn't help you?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. She was texting and talking on the phone the whole time."

"That's good to know," Mrs. Anderson said. Her ass is getting a whole zero.

I took the dress and rolled it to the back of the classroom. Iyanna went back to sitting with her group of friends. They were talking about me all throughout class. As long as they don't touch me they're good. Once the class was over Iyanna made her way to me.

"See you at Alpha training tonight. Bring a vomit bag with you, you're going to need it"

I better get ready to eat a toilet seat because I know she's going to make me do something stupid.