Eirene

"I'LL take an affogato and a cornetto bread."

It's my usual but this is a different coffee shop. Dito ko i-me-meet si Riggs, kakain kasabay ni Mara at aalis na sila. Ito ang hiling ko sa kanya noong nakaraang araw at natutuwa ako dahil sinunod naman ng dati kong asawa.

"Please add an iced americano and make the cornetto bread in two orders."

"Can you make it into two separate receipts?"

"Don't listen to her. Here, you can charge everything in this card." Nakita ko na binalingan niya si Mara na nagtatago sa aking likuran. "How about you, little missy? What do you want?"

"Can I have that cute cake there?" Tinuro ni Mara iyong may magandang unicorn design na cake.

"Of course. You remind me of my elder cousin. She loves anything that has unicorn design." Mara giggled and showed herself to Cashmere. "You heard the kid. Put the kid's cake on my card too." Baling ni Cashmere sa cashier na agad naman nitong sinunod.

"I'll be in our table!" Deklara ni Mara saka tumakbo na papunta sa lamesa na una namin tinigilan. Agad ko naman binalingan si Cashmere pagka-alis ng anak ko. Wala ako ideya bakit siya narito. I didn't even tell anyone aside from Riggs himself.

"I texted you, Eirene," he said after redeeming his card from the cashier and the order number.

"I know. I've read it -"

"And you didn't bother to reply back." Malalim ako huminga pagkarinig sa dinugtong na mga salita ni Cashmere sa aking sagot.

"I'm in a complicated situation, Cash. I have a kid, and I'm meeting my ex with his girlfriend to hand over Mara hours before Christmas eve..." I blurted it out to him while we were in a public place. Great! It's a self-destructive move I created absentmindedly.

"Let's iron out everything on my cue. I am waiting for your reply. That's why I'm still here, so I won't celebrate your Christmas eve alone."

"You knew?" Tumango si Cashmere. "Marishka?" Tumango siya ulit bilang tugon sa akin. "Damn! What I am now? A charity case of yours?"

Cashmere shooked his head. That didn't convince me at all. Lumakad ako papunta sa table kung nasaan si Mara. I can't stand people who keep glancing at us, listening to our bickering.

"You're not a charity case, Eirene. My stance on you didn't change even if we already missed seven years without communication." Naupo siya sa tabi ko. "I'm passing by, and I saw you. It's my lucky day, and I guess because Mari didn't know where exactly you went with your daughter."

Tinabig ko siya ng siko dahil nakikinig ang anak ko. Mabuti at nakahalata si Cashmere saka dumating na rin mga order namin. Mara sliced the cake she asked Cashmere to buy and keep the rest for Christmas eve.

"How long have you been divorced?" Sinamaan ko ng tingin si Cashmere. "Okay. Let's talk later when the kid is not around."

"Maranatha, your father is here now," I said. Tumingin ako kay Cashmere pagkatapos sabihin iyon. "You have to behave, okay?"

"Okay." Mara greeted Riggs and Claudia who both can't stop being clingy to each other. Nalimutan na naman nila ang agreement namin kapag kasama si Mara. "They're so in love..."

"I didn't know that you're with someone, Eirene." Riggs started after pulling a chair for Claudia. "Dapat sinabi mo para kinuha ko na lang si Mara sa bahay mo,"

"We're here now, so let's forget about the other option." Huminga ako nang malalim. "This is Cashmere Gridley. This is Riggs, Mara's father, and the gorgeous woman is Claudia, his girlfriend."

"You're Cashmere? Woah! Finally, in the flesh." Nakipagkamay si Riggs kay Cashmere na para bang matagal na sila magkakilala.

Tumikhim lang ako kaya bumalik na kami sa dahilan ng reunion na ito. Reunion na hindi naman dapat damay si Cashmere pero bigla siya nadamay at wala na akong magawa pa. Embracing everything is the least I can do to end this in good note...

MATAMA ko tinikman ang niluto na chicken penne casserole. Ito lang ang handa ko ngayon dahil mag-isa lang naman ako dapat. But I gained a Christmas eve companion a little while ago after Riggs, Claudia and Mara left.

"I got us pizza, cake, wine here," Cashmere said as he entered my house. Lumakad siya palapit sa kinaroroonan ko at nilapag ang mga biniling pagkain sa labas. Actually, kanina pa siya umalis at ngayon lang nakabalik dahil siguro sa mahabang pila. Akala ko nga 'di na siya makakabalik pero mali pala ako. "What?"

"Nothing." Tumalikod ako at binalingan ang plato na gagamitin namin. "Ang daming handa, dalawa lang naman tayo."

"Well, we have a lot of things to talk about, and the food will be enough for the whole night of talking."

"You can start asking now, Cashmere," I said, placing the plates I got on the table near my living room. Sunod ko kinuha ang nilutong chicken penne casserole at sinalinan ang dalawang plato na hinanda ko. Cashmere walked near me and put the pizza on top of the table.

"How are you, Eirene?" Hindi ko in-expect na simpleng tanong lang ang simulang tanong ni Cashmere sa akin kahit pitong taon kami hindi nagkita. "You went off grid only to me. Pati si Mr. Icheyeru hindi sinasabi sa akin kung nasaan ka."

"I already blurted out everything a while ago. You witness how complicated my relationship with my daughter's father. Kailangan ko pa sila paalalahan lagi na maging lowkey kapag nasa harap nila si Mara."

"Where did you meet the guy?"

"Are you sure that you wanted to know?"

"We have a long night, Eirene and I'm all ears to your story." Inanyayahan ko siya maupo matapos ilabas sa box ang cake at si Cashmere naman ang nagbukas ng wine. Pinag-usod niya rin ako upuan bago naupo sa katapat ko sinimulang tikman ang niluto ko. "Let me hear your story now."

"Okay, but first, you have to make a promise,"

"A promise?"

"Listen and not say anything." Tumango lang si Cashmere bilang tugon sa sinabi ko sa kanya. "I met Riggs after staying here in Baltimore for a year. He's a distant relative of Lindsay, and she became our cupid. Everything went fast, and we found ourselves in front of a judge, uttering our wedding vows in front of unrelated witnesses."

"Unrelated witnesses?"

"I'm not in good terms with my in laws. Hindi na nga yata ako magiging kasundo ng mga iyon kasi ako ang dahilan kaya kami naghiwalay after four years of being together." Huminga ako nang malalim. "We're three in our marriage, Cash."

"He cheated on you?"

Umiling ako. "I'm married to him on papers, but physically, mentally, and emotionally, I wanted to be married to somebody else. The sparks I felt when I met him disappeared after accepting Riggs as my husband."

"Wait... Are you -"

"Mentally cheating with ex-husband." Hindi na siya nagsalita pa at kapwa kami natahimik ng ilang sandali bago ako magtangka na magsalita. "I lied to you, Cashmere. When you asked me to stay, I am torn in between my dreams and you. We're only fuck buddies, no one was allowed to fell in love but -"

"I fell."

"No, I was the one who fell first."

"Hindi tayo matatapos." Tumango ako saka nagpatuloy sa pagkain. "What happened after?"

"A lot of things happened."

I guess tama siya na makakain namin lahat ng pagkain na binili niya dahil sa dami ng pag-uusapan naming dalawa.

"WHAT happened to you? It's my turn to ask questions because you had a lot earlier."

Nagsalin ako ng wine sa baso ko at ininom iyon matapos kainin ang huling slice ng pizza na natira pa. Malapit na mag-alas dose ng madaling araw at marami sa mga kapitbahay ko ang nagse-celebrate na ng Pasko. Exhange gifts, kisses under the mistletoe, warm greetings to each other and hugs. Mga bagay na pangarap ko pero hindi talaga pinagkaloob sa akin ng pangmatagalan.

Riggs and I tried to work our marriage. Kaya nga nabuo si Mara dahil sinubukan talaga naming dalawa kaso iba talaga ang gusto at kaharap ko na siya ngayon.

"Wait? Aren't you going home now?"

"It's twelve o'clock already," Cashmere said. "Merry Christmas, Eirene!" Nanatili lang ako nakatangin kay Cashmere na para bang kinakabisado ko ang itsura niya. Pitong taon kami hindi nagkitang dalawa kaya pero nakikita ko naman siya sa mga magazine. "Eirene -"

Napatingin kaming dalawa sa labas at mula sa bintana ay nakita ko ang fireworks na sumabog sa madilim na kalangitan.

"Mara will love this. Sadly, she's not here with me," tumingin ako ulit kay Cashmere. "Merry Christmas, Cash, and thank you for spending yours with me. You can now go and greet your family."

"I am the only one left here, Eirene,"

"W-why?"

"Because of you." Dahan-dahan siya lumapit sa akin hanggang sa ilang dipa na lamang ang layo ng mukha namin sa isa't-isa. "Eirene, my feelings not change. I'm still in love with but when I saw you with a kid, your kid, I slightly taken a back. Nilapitan ko si Mari at nagtanong ako sa kanya at sinabi niya na hiwalay na kayo nabuhayan ako ulit ng loob."

Magsasalita pa sana siya ngunit pinatigil ko na at tinawid ang pagitan ng mga labi naming dalawa ni Cashmere.