Nathan walked out of the house with his backpack and basketball. He went to his Jeep and unlocked it, throwing his belongings into it and then climbing inside. He started the car, warming up the engine and trying to stay as neutral as he has been since he woke up that morning. He doesn’t want to think about last night and he doesn’t want to look at a certain house. From his peripheral vision, he could see the red car parked in the driveway, evident that she was still at home and he found himself thinking how her night had been.
He sighed and shook his head to shake off the thought; he kept his gaze at his windscreen, refusing to look anywhere else but there. He hasn’t forgotten what he said last night and now he has to work on achieving it. He has to try even though he knew it would be very difficult but he has to try.
“Nathan,” he heard and felt his heart missed a beat; he closed his eyes and breathed out through the mouth. He opened his eyes but kept his gaze at his house through his windscreen, he could sense her approaching and with each step she took, he could feel the step resonating in his chest. “Nathan, how are you this morning?” Tracy asked, almost close to him now.
Nathan heaved a deep sigh and mustering all the courage in him, he kept his face emotionless and finally looked at her. “Good morning,” he greeted.
Tracy was still in her nightwear, she covered herself with her jacket and licked her lips, standing beside his opened car door, “you were pretty wasted last night, are you feeling good this morning?”
Nathan nodded without saying anything and tore his gaze away from her. If he wants to achieve his aim, then he had to start by not looking at her a little too much.
Tracy sighed and nodded, “Nathan, about last night…”
“I’m late for school,” he cut her short, “I slept in, as you can tell by the time and if I don’t leave now, I will miss first period totally.”
Tracy nodded with a soft sigh, “okay, when you get back then.” She took a step back and he immediately closed the door without a word and without another glance at her, he reversed and sped off. Tracy stood staring at the back of his car; she didn’t know she was crying until she felt something wet on her cheeks. She immediately wiped them off and sniffled, then turned and walked —almost ran— to her house.
-
Nathan parked in the student lot and rested his head on his seat, he closed his eyes and heaved series of sighs before he wiped his hands on his face, turned off the engine, grabbed his backpack and ball, and then left the car.
Walking into the school, he heard someone running behind him and didn’t bother to know who until he heard his name and turned to see Cindy running up to him with a smile. He didn’t want to wait up like she wanted but he forced himself to. “Hi,” she greeted, panting when she caught up to him, “I can’t believe you are late.”
“You are late too,” he replied.
“Well, I am late once in a while but hardly you, what happened?”
Nathan bit his lip and shook his head, “slept in,” he ran his fingers through his white curls, “some days are like that.”
“Yeah,” Cindy nodded, tucking her blonde hair behind her ear. She licked her lips not knowing what else to say but also not ready to end the meeting.
Nathan stared at her, he could see through her action, after all, he has been there a lot of times and have done exactly the same. He would have humored her like yesterday but sadly, he was not in the mood right now. “You know, if we don’t hurry inside now, we are going to miss our first period entirely.”
“Oh,” Cindy chuckled nervously, “you are right, let’s go.”
Nathan nodded and turned to walk inside but deliberately slowed his pace so that she could catch up.
***
Nathan couldn’t go home after school and he had taken an excuse from his coach to miss practice that evening and now with nowhere to go and nothing to do, he decided to go on a joyride and at the end he ended up in a bar where he had a few drinks, well, a few that was enough to make him tipsy.
He sat on his high stool, staring at his nearly empty bottle of beer, his mind playing the scene of last night in his mind, starting from the time Tracy announced her engagement. It still sounded alien to him that she was getting married and to no one else but Gary. Even though it would hurt seeing her marrying anyone but he would prefer any other person that wasn’t her ex that cheated on her. Cheating men hardly repents and he doesn’t want that for her but then, she had made her choice and he could only respect it.
“Drinking is not what I expected from a recently turned eighteen years old boy,” someone said behind him and he sighed, recognizing who by his voice.
“I don’t want to talk to anybody,” he said.
James smiled and made himself comfortable on the stool beside him, he ordered for a beer as well and when it was served, he opened it with his teeth and took a sip, bringing the bottle down with a thud and then turned to Nathan. “Why are you sulking, I thought Tracy is in town? Aren’t you going to do what you do best by hovering around her?”
Nathan heaved a sigh and took a sip of his drink, “I said I don’t want to talk to anyone,” he repeated, placing his bottle back on the table.
James nodded, “I heard you, I just want to know why you would be here drinking instead of being with her. What? She finally figured out about your abnormal feelings towards her and then shunned you away?” he chuckled, sipping his drink.
Nathan called for the bartender and paid his bill. He finished the remaining liquid in the bottle in a go and stood up. “Yes I am sulking and yes it’s because Tracy pushed me away but don’t think you have a chance with her.”
James grinned. “Leave the wooing to the adults, kid.”
“Oh I’m afraid there won’t be any wooing anymore,” Nathan chuckled. “Tracy is getting married. She came back engaged.” Seeing the shock in his eyes, Nathan refrained from laughing like a maniac and walked out of the bar feeling a little good of himself. At least, even though he was in pain, he didn’t let James mock him.
Getting home, he knew his mom was around by her car in the driveway. He stayed in the car, hoping there was a way he could escape her not knowing he drank alcohol. Parking behind her car, he climbed out of the car and entered the house.
“Where do you say I should keep it?” he heard Tracy saying from upstairs and his heart missed a beat. He stood by the door, trying to understand what was going on.
“Oh just drop it in Nathan’s room, he would fix it up when he gets back,” he heard his mom reply and by the direction of her voice, he could tell she was in her bedroom.
What are they doing? He wondered, but decided to leave the women to their time and entered the kitchen. Something was cooking and it smelled nice. He went to the refrigerator and opened it, fetching out a lemon juice to drink, hoping it would somehow confuse his mother about the scent of alcohol coming from him.
“Oh, you are back,” he heard and turned and saw Tracy standing by the door carrying a big box. She was dressed in a short red skirt with a white top and to Nathan’s happiness; the skirt wasn’t as short as the gown she wore that day she came back. “When did you get back?”
“A while ago,” he replied, taking his eyes off her even though he wanted to look at her more. She looked so beautiful and…sexy. He shook his head to wipe away the last thought, uncorking the juice and drinking straight from the bottle.
“Did you drink again Nathan?” Tracy asked with worry lacing her voice.
Nathan covered the drink and licked his lips, “why do you care?”
“Nathan,” she dropped the box on the floor and went to him, “stop this, you are still too young to be drowning yourself in alcohol every day.”
Nathan scoffed, “well, at least I’m legal,” he replied.
“Nathan,” Tracy placed her hand on his and he flinched before moving away. She felt a sharp pain straight to her heart but tried to calm herself. “I care about you. Yes you are legal but the amount of alcohol you took yesterday, you shouldn’t even take another one in a week.”
Nathan glanced at her, “this is my life, my body, my decision.”
Tracy heaved a sigh to calm herself, she went to him again and tried to cup his cheeks in her hands but he moved away. “Stop this, you are hurting me by doing this.”
Nathan raised an eyebrow, “hurting you?” he scoffed, “do you know what it means to be hurt?”
“Nathan…”
“You don’t want anything to do with me right? So why are you feigning hurt when I am giving you what you want?”
“Nathan, that doesn’t mean you should be avoiding me. You said you are going to see me like an older sister remember?”
“Well in case you don’t know, feelings don’t die overnight. I need to get this abominable feeling out right?”
“Nathan,” she was shaking her head, “it’s not abominable.”
“Then why don’t you accept it?”
“Accept what?” Lucy asked from the kitchen door.