I close the book with a loud bang. My sister almost jumps out of her skin. I look at the pink cover with a great deal of hearts, which is almost mocking me. I could smash it if I only wanted. But I'm not in the proper mood to viciously devastate things like that

"What a tender load of bullshit." I sigh.

"Watch yer trap, Lise."

I laugh out loud. "You should talk in a more sophisticated way, like a true crown prince's fiancée and not a mere commoner, dear sister." I giggle.

"Whatever, Ronan is head over heels for me, so, even if I ate like a piglet in front of the queen, he would say that this is the newest trend in the high society..."

"I see," I scratch my eyebrow. "You're really a lucky one, you mad woman."

"Ha! And who's saying it?" She grins widely. "I had known about prince and myself before you were born. I hadn't had much choice. It's okay right now but instead of me, you are able to marry from love. You've heard about this young baron, haven't you, sis?"

"Yep, but I can't even speak with him about frivolous things because he thinks in some kind of slow-motion, I swear." I put the puerile book on the shelf. I pat the old wood, from which was made the sculptured bookcase. I take a deep, deep breath. The library smells nice, like the whole mansion used to.

"I really don't believe in marriage from love, this is so airy-fairy. The only things that people truly need in their lives are wealth and power. It's impossible to maintain it with love for some hopeless person. I don't want to be a burden to a family, I want to be useful and despite that, I need a political, arranged marriage. These fairytales," I point with a chin to the bookshelf. "Are good for children. They are not even rational when we could be in any minute in a state of war."

"Oh, Lise, Lise. You're such a miserable case."

"Leuria," I give her a warning glare. My fists are shaking, she has no right to say it. No. Damn. Right. And she knows it, perfectly. "Without dad this residence is lifeless, mum has a pile of lovers and we are starting to have debts. It's no fun, not anymore."

Sister shuts her mouth repeatedly, like a washed ashore fish. I slam the heavy door and start walking through the hall. On the walls are paintings with our ancestors – or maybe shall I say, the original Thessalise's ancestors. Not a mere placeholder like me.

I stare at my dad's portrait. He was a king's advisor and one of the major guard's commanders. He was poisoned by an assassin. The king also died a while later whereas it all happened three months ago. From now on, the crown prince is preparing for his coronation, and my sister to an official marriage with him. She is going to be a bloody consort, who holds an ultimately conformable life. For the rest of us, it is quite the contrary. Mum pretends not to notice the collapsing roof of our house, figuratively. We've lost our worthy name in society after a couple of scandals with our mother. We're losing everything, what father and his father have been building for generations.

I'm so sick of this. So, so sick. If I only had a possibility, I would bury myself near the planetary core and never again stick my head above the ground.

I pass by our head maid. She is like a second mother to me. She fed me when I was a baby, she thought me how to count, how to read, and was there, every time I've needed her when mother wasn't at the mansion – what was quite common with her inclination for disappearing for weeks. Because in the neighbour kingdom a huge and fancy party was held.

"Your grace" She curtsy and I nod her back.

"Svenja could you please advise the cook not to serve the pheasant? Even when the mother has insisted on behalf of her pride. We barely have money to buy the flour, so pasta should do. I will check if we still have enough goat milk for the sauce." I stretch my shoulders. I feel awkward when Svenja is gazing at me out.

"Are you okay, your grace?" She makes a concerned expression.

"Do I look to you okay?" I sigh and my fingers through my hair. "Sorry. I'm... I'm just scared. No, I'm terrified that I will be the last sane person in the mansion when Leuria will move to the capital. She won't have time as a future queen. Maybe her status will help us, but being alone here is freaking me out."

"Language, your grace" Svenja taps politely my shoulders and smiles gently. Not so widely as she used to, but it is enough to comfort me. "We will be there with you, so, please, do not worry this beauty head of yours."

I almost burst into tears. I allow Svenja to pat my head before she goes further in the hallway. I look out anxiously, to be sure that no one witnessed my breakdown. But the corridor is as quiet as a cemetery. Accurate remark, Lise.