Ryo

It's raining. I am only wearing my hakama. wide trousers and the black cloth obsuring my mouth, the trousers are so wide they almost seem to be a skirt. The rain softly lands on my bare chest. My body hurts as always. I am guiding my body carefully to every position. I feel everything, every part of my body is aware of it's surroundings, of it's  movements of every gust of wind that hits it. I take a deep breath and than I hear his voice, 'your balance is abdominal!' it's not his voice, it's my mind tricking me into remembering him. I collapse unto my knees. I curse him, I curse my own brother. Why do I need to be broken because of his death? He has never been innocent. He has never been kind and still everytime I handed him my pride to wear on his chest. I gave him the world, I gave him everything. I trusted him. And still I cannot believe it. I hate myself for missing him.

I puch the wall of the mountain behind me, the blood runs out of my veins, it hurts, everything hurts. The blood that flows through me belongs to so many others. I should have died. I will not weep for him, I did all I could. He didn't even fight it. It is not my fault. He did so much wrong why am I stuck with this guilt? I will not weep for him, I will not.........I betray myself yet again as a tear streams down my face. I don't want to be like you but father wants me to be like you.

You were a monster and now you've made me one.

Akira

I walk up to Ryo and put my hand softly on his shoulder. He flinches as if my hand is hot. He turns around he looks mad. "What? Aki?" "Come on don't be so agitated. Don't act like ryu" I respond. He melts a bit, he seems miserable. His wel defined musckes seem to tense up by the mere mention of him. "He's alright the gods have forgiven him." "I do not care about any god ever if they are real why would they kill him in the first place? why wouldnt they kill me." He looks up at the sky. "Kill me you damn fools!" nothing happens. I smile. "Brother, you're not the one who's guilty." " Than tell me why is my heart burning? Why is my life like this? the god are torturig me if they;re real and otherwise I am torturing myself." He collapses unto his knees. I grab his hands and put a bandage on it. "Brother, you have always been the kindest soul I have known. You'll be alright." He looks at me and hugs me. "thank you brother." I put my hand on his back.

He doesn't deserve this, if someone deserved to be punished it was Ryu. Ryo has never been unkind to anybody. He is strict when in training but he is never mean. Ryu was cruel, ryu has never called me brother, he still said sister. Ryu and ryo were twins. Ryu was the first to be born, Ryo was half-dead when he was born. Ryu had been greedy is what my mother would always say. This resulted that Ryo had chronic pain but he learned to live with it. Everyday he woke up in tears, whichever age he was. One touch was enough to hurt him and still there has never been a more talent warrior, he was skilled in everything, martial arts, medition and sword skills. He was extraordinary, you could not hurt him when he was fighting you. He was fearless, he had more honour than anything, but Ryu lways stole his thunder, Ryu always stole his strategies, he stole his honour and his name. He stole everything and than they were drafted, Ryo was appointed general after a few months and the envious Ryu replacing him and Ryu disobeyed orders. He was Executed when they found out wht he had done, he was the reason all those men had died. And Ryo still blames himself. He always will I think.

Naoyuki

I look at Emiko, my beautiful wife. Life hasn't been easy I never liked easy but losing a child has been something I have always feared, I feared losing my Ryo but now that I lost Ryu I miss him even more. Everything about him, even the things I hated. I fear Emiko is mad at me for letting them go to war. I knew Ryo would come back home. I knew if one died it would be Ryu. And still when they executed my boy and I was forced to look at his dead body and my other weeping son. My heart has never broken like that before.

A tear streams down my cheek. that never used to happen. I sit down "I wish I could've spared his life." She looks me in the eyes. "I won't pretend I understand how you could watch as our son died but I know duty and I know cruelty, that's who I married, that's who I chose for, you would do your duty even if it wouldn't be the right thing. And I don't understand but I do know." I feel tears in my eyes I bite my lips.

I remember it so clearly, they would walk into rooms together, Ryu would always have a fan to we would know which one Ryu was. They seemed so happy, not jealous. But oh jealousy what a complicated thing. Those brothers were so strange, one would give the other the world and the other would gladly take it from him. But when I think about him now I wish he would have been here instead of Ryo, Ryo could die at every moment. Altough he is so strong everything about him is so fragile, I worry everytime he starts to fight. It would be so much easier to blame Ryu for his death, than I wouldn't have to feel so guilty I wouldn't have to hate the person I have loved most.