"Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are."

— Wake Me Up When September Ends
Green Day

Cover by optimisticspihrit

******

Later at night Michael called her. At first she thought something was wrong. But the calm in his voice relieved her. Ever since she had heard about his condition, she was always getting scared and having really bad thoughts regarding him.

"Adams are you all right?"

"Stop being so concerned about me. I'm fine."

"Oh, okay. I was just asking."

"Were you asleep?"

"No. I am having so many thoughts that it won't let me sleep."

"Brittney, can I ask you something?"

"Hmm.."

"Why do you always call me Adams?"

"Uh. Well.."

"I know this question is weird, but I keep wondering."

"I have a problem with your name."

"My name?" He chuckled.

"Well, it's a long story." For some reason, she got pissed off. All the events that concerned her and that blond boy came swirling in her mind and she could not keep her calm anymore.

"I have been told so earlier. And I have time to listen."

"Look, it's something personal and maybe I wouldn't like to tell you. Okay?" She half yelled at the phone.

Maybe the truth that Michael Haywood had used her like an 'use and throw' bottle or that he had never even acknowledged her presence or that she would never be able to tell him ever again that for her, he meant something more than that cheap night's incident, made her livid with rage.

Her eyes became heavy as tears welled up. Hearts are fragile objects after all. All they crave for is love —tender yet intense, zealous. And broken hearts may heal and tend, but it loses its beauty of innocence forever.

"Come on, chill. Why are you shouting?"

"Why do you cut, huh?" She had not meant to ask this, but it slipped out of her mouth in that vulnerable moment.

At first he tried to utter something, then realizing the intensity of the words, he chose to remain silent.

After what seemed like a monotonously long time, he answered: "I have gone through a lot, Brittney. And I'm not saying your problems cannot be as grand as mine, but I'm not strong. I am broken, I am torn. I am not a tough guy, you know."

As his voice broke too, losing all of the enigma and huskiness it contained, she regretted having asked any such question at all.

"Brittney, I did not cut to forget my pain. Or to make the pain help me forget the shit that I go through."

"Then?" She asked, careful and cautious.

"Brittney, I did that to die."

She inhaled and exhaled, paused and stammered, convinced herself she could speak — at least to comfort him. But she couldn't voice anything more than a few incoherent sounds.

"It's okay. I'm fine now."

Though she wanted to say a lot of things at a time, she could only say what seemed most appropriate at that moment. "Will you do it again?"

"I don't know. I'm not...sure."

"Hey..I— I just don't know how to convince you. I.."

"Call me by my name, please?" He tried lightening up the mood.

"Michael, have you ever thought of therapy?"

"Yes."

"You go to one or...?"

"Yes," he said in an expressionless tone. "My mother took therapy for the longest time. She commenced suicide last year."

Brittney hitched. That must have been hard, she thought.

Few minutes later she realized she had said those words aloud.

"Yes, it was a hard time. It still is."

"I can understand that. Michael I am so sorry."

"No, don't be. It's not your fault." He took a deep breath. "I was only six when my elder brother died. He was eighteen then. My mom never got out of that trauma actually."

"But she had you.."

"And I was never him."

"Hey, but...that's so unreasonable. I mean, I am sorry but.."

"Yeah, but let's just drop this subject, shall we?" He pleaded.

"Hey, Adam—I mean Michael, look I am really sorry. I did not want to ask you all this."

"It's okay. I questioned you too." This made her remember she also had not replied to his question.

"Yeah. Mine is a stupid dumb-ass story."

At that moment she felt like standing in front of a mountain, the enormity of which makes all your complications look like a knot in the thread.

"

Come on, it can't be that stupid."

She heard him laugh at the mention of her word choice. And for the first time, she felt a strange feeling. There was something about the way he laughed. Maybe it was the sexy voice or maybe it was the innocence that his laugh carried.

"I liked a guy." She heard him mumble something of the 'okay' sort, so she continued. "He almost meant everything to me. His name was Michael, too."

"Yeah I guessed it by this point. So what happened to him?"

"He has a..umm..girlfriend now. Living a happy fairy tale." She laughed bitterly; her voice was turning cold. "Annabel, my best friend, gave me an idea to call him anonymously and confess my feelings for him."

"So the 'I love you'?" She felt strange at the mention of the words from his mouth. Or maybe it was because she had never heard a guy say those words to her.

"Yeah, sort of. But I ended up calling you, being the brainless shit—"

"Okay, before you start cursing more, did you tell him?"

"No."

"Seriously? Why?" He said; but she felt his tone was devoid of any emotion. Even the questions sounded like assertive sentences.

"No, I do not have the courage anymore. I told you it was a stupid plan."

"Okay, but then what'd be the point of this whole adventure?"

"I don't know, Michael. I was not gonna ask him to be my boyfriend or anything. It was a part of my 'move on' mission."

"What? You were gonna say that to him to move on? Now it sounds like a stupid idea!"

"What else could I do? It took me two years to fall out of love but I still can't forget him!" She carefully avoided the part where he had made her drink an entire bottle of vodka and used her in drunk condition on that night in party.

"You don't need to confess to him! You need to find someone else and tell these words. He is not worth it." He told her as if he knew everything.

Ever since that anonymously-calling-a-wrong-number day, she had not talked to anyone about it. Now she felt lighter.

"But it really was a stupid idea."

"Hey don't make me feel so bad about it now!" They both broke into laughter.

Then he said in a soft tone, "It's like kissing someone before letting go. Never works."

"Huh. You're saying as you already know," she said in a nonchalant voice. "Hey, did you seriously kiss someone like that?"

"Let's save that story for some other day, miss. It's 3:30 a.m. Go to sleep."

"Oh God, look at the time!"

"Good Night, Brittney."

"Same here."

She was about to shift the phone from her aching left ear to her hands to disconnect, but she heard his voice again. Soft, deep, and like a whisper. It reminded her of a feather that flew high through the sky and mountains.

"You are something, Brittney. You make all my pain go away."

******

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Longest chapter ever. Early update because I'm so awesome! Hope you liked it. Spilled a lot of secrets, not all though.

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