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chapter 38 | Self-control


"Dangerous?" I emphasize this word only, the corners of my lips turning up. "Very dangerous," he affirms, but I do not listen and press my lips on his neck again, not pulling away until I am satisfied, I leave a few kisses to mark his skin but feel his hands run down my thighs. "I'm not kidding, y/n," his voice lowers as I must have triggered something, and I keep going, not caring about the consequences since he seems to like it. "I'm not kidding either," I speak against his neck to hit it with my breathing.

A sexy scoff escapes his mouth, and he contradicts himself by tilting his head to the side and sliding his hands up my thighs heavily. "You have no idea what can happen if you keep going," his fingers do not halt their way at the bottom of my shorts but only push underneath the fabric to enter it, and I do not even control the reaction of my body, I thrust and arch my back. I lay my hands on his chest to add more sensitivity to his body, and I try hard to find one weak spot with my lips, loving the words he said and which fluttered me.

Without expecting anything at all, he gets my legs to clench against his sides by pushing his thumbs up my inner thighs, making me break the contact between my lips and his neck for a moment to wrap my hands around his wrists and stop him. "Don't do this either."

"What?" his tongue passes over his lips, and he applies more pressure on the highest spot of my inner thighs, cupping both of them and rubbing them. "This?" he goes a little further, the sides of his thumbs nearly touching me over my underwear.

I grip his wrists and laugh, but only nervously, knowing he is doing it on purpose to make me pay for my attitude. Willing to see him lose, I put my arms around his neck and go back to what I was doing, but this time, with my tongue and teeth while playing with his hair.

I do it gently to not leave a hickey on his neck but kiss the area right below his sharp jawline, feeling like this one is the most sensitive of his neck. He remains quite calm at the beginning, but once the tip of my tongue skims his ear lobe and that I clasp it with my teeth in a delicate manner, I feel a small thrust of his hips against me, and he crushes my thighs with his hands.

"Do not make me..." his sentence ends with a sharp exhalation on my skin, and I smile at the lack of senses, loving the effect I have on such a man. "Make you what?" I blush out of fluster, not even handling what I am doing. He scoffs, his voice drawing a moany sound out right in my ear. I give him a break and run my fingers up his hair, and I gaze into his eyes. "Make you what, Sir?" I let my soul connect with his, but the emotions I can read through his stare flutters my heart. He bites his lips and drags all my attention on them, but he smiles, in a sexual way. "Make me act up."

"Threatening without doing anything as always," I ignore the crazy feeling inside my chest that keeps on growing bigger the more he is rubbing his fingers under my shorts. "I just know how to control myself. I wouldn't want you to see that side of me yet."

"You do have a lot of self-control..." I admit but press a kiss on his lips. I get his hands away from where they are to make sure I do not lose control either, and my fingers go up and down his tough forearms, dragging my lips down to his collarbone. I pretend to be fidgeting on my spot to grind onto him, and I suck on his neck, but my hands do the job as well by toying with his hair and going down to his belt.

Suddenly, he catches my wrists with some unexplainable strength, holds them behind my back with one hand, and his other one grabs my hair to pull on them, then he pins me down on the sofa to top me but make me feel too stressed by this sudden move.

He stares into my eyes, his forceful grip on me not loosening. I smile, feeling shy but too taken into this to even let him calm me down. He does not say a word as if he was keeping something to himself, and I fix my focus on his lips that seem to have been bitten on.

The silence is very loud, and the tension so heavy. Is he having a hard time controlling himself?

I test him one last time to see what he does, I push on my butt and hands to elevate my bust and reach out for his lips, stucking his hands under my lower back to keep him in this position. I look down at his glossy and pink, puffy lips, and I set my eyes back on his bedroom ones, seeing what he does. He returns the gaze and drops it on my lips, my heart thumping me in the chest and not handling the tension between us, this side of him I have always wanted to see.

Not getting what I want, I lick his bottom lip with the tip of my tongue and brush my lips past his parted ones, but he closes his eyes and goes forward to kiss me. I do it back, feel and taste him with my tongue in his mouth. The heat invading my chest, I kiss him a bit more hungrily, sensually but feel him release his hold on my wrists, probably unconsciously as his breathing sped up and is now shuddering through mine.

Wondering whether I am doing this more than well or if he is just letting me go to get more, I slightly pull away with my parted lips, but he momentarily follows me to not let me break this intimate kiss, and he forces his tongue in my mouth, leaving his desire inside of me. I return it with intense want.

Feeling him be so demanding and desirous is such a turn-on, I can see that he wants more, and this excites me a lot.

Since he does not have a hold onto me anymore, I flatten my hands on the cushions and tongue his lips, the enticement driving me crazy, I open my eyes to look down at his features, his shaky breath filling my mouth to mingle with mine, I give another lick to his thin lips and skim mine up them, but he smirks, and I spread my legs to have him in-between.

"I like this, stop teasing me," he whispers against my skin in a deeper voice, not opening his eyes. His speech became so slow and sexual. He pushes his pelvis down to inch it closer to mine. "I wanna know where your weak spots are," I smile but feel him ask for another kiss. "Find them," he tempts me and gets his lips between mine as if he could not wait.

He does not know what he just caused.

I take this as a challenge, willing to know which spots have to be aimed in order to make him feel butterflies, to make him weak in the knees. I know that French kissing makes him lose his head, but I do not know for sure about the other areas.

I smile through the kiss but break it and drop several kisses down his neck, going back to his collarbone, this area he prevented me from kissing a few seconds ago. I kiss it, slowly and daintily, doing my best to pleasure him and make him feel good. I do not leave my hands away from his body but heave one up to his chest, and I open a few buttons to sneak my fingers inside and caress his blazing, tattooed skin. My mouth making its way up to his ear again, his breathing turns heavy and swift, his head leaning down, I pass my hand up his neck and run it up his fluffy hair while nibbling on his ear.

A shivering moan slips out of his mouth and gives me the answer I have been waiting for, but one of his hands gets in contact with my waist, and he touches me under my top, not going up to my breasts but being careful, even in this situation.

I carry on with the heavy touches full of love, care, and want, I make a mess in his hair and trail my lips along his neck, going down but hearing him shiver, I push the neck of his shirt aside to be able to kiss my way to his shoulder, feeling in his grips and the squeezes he gives to my skin how good this feels for him.

I brush my hand past his neck once he kisses mine, and I stop, being a brat to see how he reacts to this.

I retreat and put my hands back on the sofa, and I look into his eyes. Those eyes that are sharper, shiny, exposing all the ardor and sexual longing that lies deep inside of him. They linger on me, his hand skimming past my back. I arch it and bite my lips at the sensations he sent through me with a caress of his middle finger down my spine, and he smiles at this impact and instinctive reaction my body had.

"You stop only once I want more?" he rasps near my lips, and I smile, my teeth squeezing my bottom lip to find a way to release the emotions in my body. "You told me to do it," I reply in a quiet voice, but an exhalation runs out of his nose to let it sound like a scoffing one. "You should make up your mind, Mister Jeon..." I playfully joke with him. "And you said this was dangerous, but I don't see what was so dangerous..."

"Hm," he bites his lips, smirking and staring down at mine. "You're teasing me now? Are you sure you're ready for the consequences of that?"

"What consequences? I don't know about any," I chuckle, faintly, gazing at his features from very close to dive in his soul. "I can do what I want...I'm in my house. Nothing's gonna happen because you're a soft, kind gentleman. Am I wrong?"

His stare speaking all of his arousal and desire quietens me. He parts his luscious lips and tongues his inner cheek, giving me his flirty look to make me understand what he has on his mind. "You forgot that the gentleman can be strict and authoritative if he wants or has to, sweetheart."

"I've never seen that happen, Sir. Those are nothing but words," I walk on thin ice to provoke him, but he does not show any bother, actually, he shows the opposite and seems to enjoy this.

He smiles at me, softly, making his facial expression feign indifference and calm. I return those, but he lifts one hand up to my face and holds the side of it, and his thumb grazes my lips, dominating me with a simple touch and confident stare. I submissively create a gap between them to let him slide his thumb inside. "Keep that mouth shut before I shove something down your throat. All right?" a crazy rush of butterflies raids my lower stomach to send tingles between my thighs and in my chest, and my heart skips multiple beats.

I have never felt this faint after hearing a sentence, I think my heart did not expect that either, and I feel extremely hot. I have never heard him talk like that, but this is so enticing that I might want to hear him again.

He expresses some satisfaction with his features only, reading all the shock on my face. He takes this opportunity to press a tender kiss on my lips, and he moves back.

For some reason, I do not want to keep my mouth shut.

I need to stay calm though, he always manages to control himself while I am always ready to collapse on my knees when he looks at me, says my name, or touches me.

We both make eye contact as I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach, and he stands up but heads to the bathroom, tucking one hand in a pocket of his trousers to attempt to conceal an erection that obviously cannot be hidden at all. He ruffles his hair to comb them back, and he enters the other room, leaving me alone with my brain on the floor.

•••

7:15 pm.

"Ugh..." he stretches his body on his chair, cracking his neck and licking his lips after wiping them with a tissue. "This was delicious. I'm full," he puts his hand over his toned stomach, and I smile, happy to see that he ate well. "That's good then."

He agrees with a soft look upon his face, and he drinks the rest of his glass of wine. "What are you going to do tomorrow?" he bends over the table to put his elbows down on it and gazes at me. "I don't know, probably look for a job."

"Hm," he hears me, sipping on the red liquid. "I looked for one too but haven't found anything that would be great for you yet, but you have time, don't rush anything."

"I know," I agree with him, knowing this is better to be patient. "Anyway," he swallows what is left in his glass and puts this one down. "I should go back home, it's getting late..."

"Yes," I do not complain about it since his children are waiting for him, and I stand up, making him do so to walk up to the front door. I stand near him while he is putting his shoes back on, and once he is done, I go forward to hug him. "Be careful on the road."

"I will," he drops a kiss on the crown of my head, his strong arms keeping me safe. "And...text me once you're home," I raise my eyes up, and his smile melts me. "I will too, I was planning to do it anyway," he brushes my hair back with his fingers, and he leans in to kiss my lips, delicately. "Don't go to bed too late and make sure to rest a lot," he reminds me of those. "And thank you for the food and the wine, that was delicious," he caresses my cheek, gazing into my eyes with sparkles in his brown ones.

"And...thank you for the hugs," he whispers but makes us both smile, holding my chin up with one finger. "Thank you for the kisses, the tease," his lips end on my neck without me expecting it. "I'll make you regret this," he steps back after those threatening words to open the door, but I giggle out of shyness and do not even reply to this.

He opens the door, but his hand touches the side of my face again. "I love you," he softly says, and I tell them back with as much sincerity, getting to earn a beam from him. Then, he steps out, and he closes the door behind him.

•••

8 pm.

'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'


"I'm sorry for being so late," I apologize to Hajoon who is still not in bed but instead, playing on the Ps4 with my little baby sleeping in his arms. "It's fine, how was it?" he fixes his black cap put backwards and drops his controller on the sofa as his math just came to an end. "Good, what about here? Why isn't he in his bed?"

"He was crying because I scolded him for trying to walk down the stairs without me, so I comforted him afterwards, and he fell asleep," he explains, telling me the reason for this to be like that. "Ah, all right. I hate when he does that..."

"Yeah," he puts his arms over his head, yawning but covering his mouth. "Did y/n talk about anything special?" he curiously wants to know more about her, and I shake my head. "Not really," my answer leaves my mouth, but I remember about the conversation I had with her that regards him and our relationship. I need to bring it up.

I take a break to not do it out of the blue, and I text y/n to let her know I am home. Then only once this is done and that he does not ask any more questions, I go for it. "I want to talk about something though."

"Hm, tell me," he peeks up at me but quickly checks his phone again. "This is...I mean, this is serious, so we can talk about it tomorrow if you feel more comfortable, but this is regarding y/n and I."

"What do you mean?" he does not focus on anything other than me anymore, probably fearful. I rest my forearms on my thighs and hold m hands together. "I want to have a talk about this. I need to know how you would feel if she ever starts to live here and that we are both a couple. I need to have your stance on this," I do it slowly and try to make him understand what is happening between y/n and I.

"I don't know..." he shrugs and takes his controller back in his hands. "I'd be happy for you..." he tells half of the truth. I know him way too well to not discern it once there is a problem and that he hides it. "You can tell me everything, Hajoon. You have to be honest with me. If you have some apprehensions, if you do not feel ready to see us together yet, just tell me. I want to make sure, and she does too, that you won't feel uncomfortable around us or her only."

His eyes remain on the TV screen as I can see that he is musing, but he quits his game. "I don't know..." he breathes his words out, and I help him to get some things off his chest. "Try to just think about it. If starting tomorrow, y/n lives with us. She is my partner, which means that she will become your stepmother, does the thought of that make you uncomfortable?"

He toys with the buttons of his controller, not looking at me. "I...I don't think I'll ever be able to consider her as a mother figure...she is a best friend to me..."

"I understand," I show him that I am here to listen and see the matter from his point of view. "She's twenty-one, you're nineteen, I can understand. However, would that make you uncomfortable if one of your friends come here and that they see her with me? Or if they ever get to know that she is your dad's girlfriend?"

"No," he shakes his head. "I don't care about that, and I know they won't judge or do anything," he relieves me about one thing, at least. "And...this is maybe not something that you want to talk about, but it needs to be brought up," I clear my throat, not liking this one issue. "If she lives here, I will obviously want her to feel comfortable and to feel at home, without having any restrictions as if she was your mother and Hyejoon's one, so she will be free to walk around the house, you know, in certain clothes," I struggle to continue these sentences, feeling that it will for sure makes things awkward. "So...would you be okay with that? Or do you think you won't be able to feel at ease because you cannot see her as a mother?"

"I don't know...What do you mean exactly by that?" he glances at me but does not help at all. I need to be more straightforward, even if my point was pretty clear. This is maybe hard for the both of us, but this is important to talk it out in case this might become a problem in the future. "If one day, she wakes up and leaves my room in just a nightshirt, or nightdress and that you see her, will this bother you?"

"No, she can wear whatever she wants here," he does not exactly answer my question. "So there isn't anything that you want to talk about because you have some questions or worries? You will be totally for it if she lives with us and that we are together?"

"I'll be for it. I mean, I miss her a lot, so I'll be happy to see her all the time. I don't even have school anymore, so I'll be home almost every day," he gives more of his opinion, making me feel like he is okay with it. "Okay then, I trust you," I look down at my feet at the feeling of Bubble rubbing her head onto my leg, knowing what this means, I pick her up and cuddle her. I peck her head and smile at all the cuteness she has in this small body, but she lies down onto my lap and rests her head on my lower abdomen.

She is so adorable, everything she does makes me soft.

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