•••

4 pm.

'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'

I look at my son as he is walking up to the car and telling goodbye to his friends, hoping for him to not notice the makeup on my face or just not pay attention to it. Once he enters the vehicle and gets on the passenger seat, I turn the ignition on. "Hey. How was your day?"

"Boring as hell, I'm glad we're on Friday because one more day, and I die," he emphasizes everything as always and throws his bag on the back seats to get comfortable and puts his seat belt on. "Have you passed your math test?" I get on the road with him, slowly conversing before coming to a certain point. "Yeah. It went well, but I'm not sure if this is good or not. I received the results for my Science and English test though," he keeps his eyes on his phone now that he can use it. "Did you fail them?"

"No. I got two A's because of you and y/n. She helped me in English," he smiles, their relationship now being a problem to me since what happened between her and me. I feel some guilt for doing this, knowing that he likes this girl, I feel like a horrible person. "Great. I'm proud of you."

"I can't wait to tell y/n about it," he talks about her again, and the discomfort inside of me grows bigger, so I do not say anything about it like I would have a few days ago. "Before we get home, I need to talk about something with you," I take this opportunity to change the topic and make him think about something else. "What? About y/n?"

"No," I peek at the reflection in the rearview mirror. "It is about your mom and me."

"You divorced, didn't you?" he already knows without me even telling him anything, and this response cuts me to the quick side, this means nothing but that he notices how broken our family was. "I...yes, but I need to explain some things to you so that you understand why."

"Okay, tell me," he does not disregard this matter, to my greatest relief, and he listens to what I have to say. "All right, so I know that it must have seemed like I did not care about her anymore, that I was not a good husband to her anymore, but the thing is that I felt that way for a reason. This happened one year ago, do you remember when I went to her workplace for her birthday?"

"Yes," he recalls those events this day. "Well, on that day, that's when everything just...fell apart...I went there with the flowers, the box of chocolates, and the note that I showed you, but when I was there, I saw her car, and I thought that leaving the note on her car would be kinda...romantic...I mean, you know how I am," I do not hide this side of me. "Yeah, you're a simp."

I smile no matter the pain this topic causes, and I continue, turning to another street. "The problem is that when I got closer to her car...I saw her...with another man, who is her boss..." I keep my eyes on the road but find it complicated to not feel the bitterness, the hatred, and wrath. "Wait. What?" he reacts in a way he never did. "Mom cheated on you?"

My head gives a faint move down, and a nervous smile forms on my face without even knowing which emotions provoke this. "But if this went like that for a whole year, that's only because I did not want this to affect you and Hyejoon. I did not want your little brother to go through fights, divorce problems that include the custody, the days when he would be with me then when he would be with his mother. I wanted to avoid that the most, but I just realized that pretending not to know and to be okay just worsened everything. So, I decided to divorce today, and she left..."

"Is she fucking serious? She cannot have done that to you," he does not even believe it. "There's also one thing that I need to tell you and which is way more important, and I'm sorry if I'm letting it all out in once, but I think it's better to tell you all the truth for good and not keep anything to myself anymore..." I regret saying this sentence after hearing myself and the end of it. I am not ready to talk about me and y/n yet, this is way too soon, and I still need to get things straight and clear with her. "I don't care, just tell me everything. Don't worry, I'm just mad right now."

"This is about your little brother..." I do not feel so comfortable with this one, knowing that he has no idea about it and that it might hurt him even more. "Uhm...It's still pretty hard for me to accept the truth, so I always have a hard time talking about this, but y/n already knows about it...I...I asked for a paternity test some weeks ago...and they answered me by proving that I'm not his father..." I clear my throat to not cry in front of my son. This is by far the worst thing I have ever gotten to know, the pain that the truth causes is thousands of times more agonizing than the one I felt when I saw her cheat on me. "She probably had him with that other guy since she cheated when she was pregnant with him..." I wish but hear nothing coming from him.

I try not to force him to talk or tell me anything, but I do my best to not let him fall into any kind of torment. "But that does not change anything for him, he still loves you like his real brother, he still loves me, and we should not let the DNA distance us from him or make us love him differently. He's still my baby, my son, and I won't let some DNA change that, and you should not either."

"It fucking hurts..." he tears up when I rarely see him cry. "How the fuck could she do that?! You always loved her, you never cheated, you always worked your ass off for her and us, but she still dared to do that to you without even being honest with me, her child?! What the fuck are we to her?!" he hurls his anger out, and I let him do it. "I hate her so much! And I do not give a shit if she doesn't care about us because I don't ever want to see her again. She can live her life with this son of a bitch, I don't give a shit, she doesn't mean anything to me anymore."

I do not say a word, knowing he needs to get those things off his chest.

•••

Midnight.

'YOUR P.O.V'

I put all my beauty products, that will be used to remove the makeup on his face, on my bed, and I get right next to Mister Jeon while he is holding a cold pack on his wrist and hand and lying on his back.

"Let me first use those hair grips so that your hair does not get in the way," I take them and pull his hair back to keep them like this, but his gaze fixed on me softens once his lips curve up. "You're very pretty, Mister Jeon," I giggle and pick up two cotton pads with the makeup remover, spreading some on it as I heard his laughter. I rub them together so that I can have enough product on both, and I lean towards him. "Close your eyes," I tell him, and then I put them over his eyelids, and I wait for it to penetrate his skin first. After a few seconds, I rub them on his skin in a delicate manner, and I clean his entire face.

"Oh my god, I love this feeling so much," he moves his lips the least possible, expressing his content. "I can do this every night before you go to bed if you want," I use my hands in a kind manner, and his peaceful expression melts my heart. "Yes, please."

"All right, I'll buy some products that fit with your skin type," I do not refuse but even feel eager to have this routine with him. "No. I'll buy them, just show me which ones to buy."

"Keep quiet," I brush these words, that I do not want to hear, off, but he opens his eyes and makes me change my mind with a simple look. "Excuse me?"

"I respectfully demand some quietness from you, please, Mister Jeon," I laugh, but he does so and lifts his hand up to my thigh to give a squeeze. "Are you respectfully looking for trouble?"

"I'm not," I deny it, regretting gaining a boost of boldness. "You better not, you know how dangerous it gets when I'm angry."

"I never saw you get angry," I put the cotton aside and grab a new one for the toner this time. "I don't want you to."

"Why?" I soak the pad with it, wondering why he thinks that way. "It takes a lot for me to show my anger, but I don't like when it happens. I'd rather stay calm because I hate to be mad or upset in front of someone that...that I care about a lot, and who is a soft little baby like you."

I smile at those last words he used for me. "I'm not, but you are a soft man," I pass the cotton pad over his skin, and he closes his eyes after staring into mine. "I'm not a soft man, I'm a gentleman," he replies with the perfect sentence, and I do not even hold back from laughing. "Okay, you're good at it."

"I know I am," he states with confidence, and the only thing that I can do is find it adorable.

30 minutes later...

"Look at this, don't you find it beautiful?" he shows me a picture of a house on his phone. "I do, it's gorgeous."

"I can't wait to have a new job and be able to move," he checks different houses, thinking about his future which I believe to be the most positive thing to do after a divorce. I do it with him and keep my head on his shoulder, both lying down and sharing some time. "Does working as a doctor still make you happy?" I curiously ask, and he pauses for a few seconds. "I do love this job, but the problem is that I can barely spend time with my sons, and this affects me a lot. Especially for Hyejoon who needs me to be there the most...I'd like to see him more, play with him, feed him, remind him that his dad is there for him..."

"He knows you're there for him, and you love him with your whole heart," I reassure him about this since he seems very concerned about his life as a father. "Yes, true...I love him more than anything," he puts his phone down and leaves the cold pack there as well. "Can we talk about something?" he turns his head towards me, so I raise my head and put it on my pillow to be all ears. "Yes."

"I don't like this relationship that is kind of unclear between us, so I need to know how you feel about it. How do you see it?" he asks a question that I expected the least. "I...honestly...I don't know, I've been wondering too since this is more difficult on your side,  I don't want to make you feel bad or anything..."

"Just tell me the truth, how do you feel towards me now?" he does not change of subject or see how hard it is for me to talk about my feelings. "Well...I like you..." I do not have the guts to look into his eyes, gazing down at his lips. "Have you already been in a relationship?"

"Not a serious one, the two boys I liked both cheated on me," I tell him the truth, talking about this for the first time since that happened. "Was that a long time ago?"

"One month before I started to work here," I answer, and the memories still pain me. They still make me feel stupid. "I'm sorry that happened to you, you're an amazing girl..." he flatters me, and I smile but with some struggle. "What about you though...?" I fiddle with the sheets, nervous and anxious about the conversation we are having which could hurt me for sure, even though I know I should not expect anything. I still hope, but I know he just got out of divorce, and he is probably going to have to deal with the procedure for a long time, so I have to understand.

"Well, I want to be honest with you...I like you too, but I do have to face the truth, I'm still not over all this, so yes, I do not love her anymore, I feel hatred and disgust when I think about her, and I would never try to fix it, I would never go back to her no matter what, and I swear that I will never do it because I cannot ever forget what she did to me and our children, neither love her again, but I still feel the pain she caused, I know there are days where nothing will be able to make me think about something else and that I'll still be struggling because she broke me, and it destroys me to even imagine that I would make you go through that because I'm selfish and think about my own happiness first by being with you and having someone there for me. I just...I do not like to think about being without you, but at the same time, I know that if I ever date you, you'll have to handle my problems too, and the days when I will cry, have a hard time...I don't want to hurt you."

No words leave me, not a single one comes to my mind. I nod, thoughtlessly. "Hm. I understand," I do not opine myself or try to make him think different. I just deal with reality. As soon as he maintains eye contact and remains silent for quite long seconds, I understand that he read through my eyes and the look into them.

"That does not mean I wouldn't want to try anything serious with you, y/n. I mean it when I tell you that I like you, but if you want it too, I'd rather take time. I'm scared to go into a new relationship too quickly, hurt you, and ruin everything with you. You don't even have to wait or try anything with me if you feel like you'll be better with someone else, with someone who has not gone through a heartbreak or divorce, and who is ready, but I just want to make things clear with you so that there's no misunderstanding, and I hope you understand."

"I understand, Mister Jeon," I fake a smile to not worry him, but he does not return it. "And I want to wait and try with you, I'm good with you, so I will regret it if I don't try. I mean, I'm not even waiting because we're still getting to know each other more personally, we're spending more time together...so that's not really waiting to me since I enjoy my time with you..."

He does not speak any longer but only gazes at me, his black eye getting me to still feel some pity because of the look it gives him.

"Are you sure?" he asks for me to repeat and know what I want with no doubt, and I nod. "Yes, I am."

His eyes lower their focus down to my lips, but after what we just talked about, I restrain myself from kissing him. "Let's sleep, hm? I'm feeling sleepy..." he softens his voice as I noticed how tired he is, and I lie down properly, I cover our bodies with the blanket to help him, and I peek at him one last time. "Good night."

"Good night, sleep tight and have sweet dreams," he smiles, gently, and I do the same before turning my back to him and closing my eyes.

— Four days later —

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2020.

6:30 am.

The food soon ready, I head to the coffee machine and prepare some for Mister Jeon. I went grocery shopping two days ago and bought some decaffeinated coffee since he drinks a lot of it, so I am going to use this one today and hope that he does not see the difference.

Drinking too much coffee is not good for his heart, so I want him to find another alternative to it that will still bring him the taste he craves every morning, without the strong effect it has.

Some noise brings my attention away, and I turn around, hearing someone walk down the stairs. As soon as I see Hajoon enter the kitchen, in his grey pair of sweatpants and hoodie, but with his hood on to hide his messy hair and sleepy head in it, I greet him with worry. "Hey, are you already awake?"

"Yeah..." he rubs his eyes, answering in a husky voice. "Can you give me some water, please?" he leans over the kitchen counter as if he was using it as a support, and I nod, do it, but cannot help keeping my eyes on him. "Is something wrong?"