( i love you 'till my breathing stops, i love you 'till you call the cops on me )

chapter twenty-five!

VINCENT WAS MAKING A BAD CHOICE. He was making the worst decision he could have possibly ever come up with in however long he's lived. It was a choice that he knew would come back and bite him in the ass. He was totally fucking himself over, and was surprised to say that he, really, really, really did not give a shit.

He was calm despite being aware of the consequences. He was calm despite knowing this was the one chess piece he shouldn't be playing with. This was the one chess piece that would get him killed in the end, but he didn't mind that anymore. Perhaps he even welcomed it now. Open arms and open mind. He'd already messed with the chess piece, and now it was the final straw. He was going to knock it off the board.

He hadn't prepared at all for his brand new plan, and all he'd done was grab some of the guns he knew Five had, stowing them away in his pockets. Maybe he'd get arrested for possession of illegal firearms before he was consequently brutally murdered. That would be preferable to someone who cared for Vincent, but who did that even include anymore?

Vincent's mind brought up the idea of Five caring. Vincent knew he did. He knew Five would never agree with his plan. Five would be utterly pissed with him, in fact. But Vincent didn't care. He'd gotten a harsh kiss out of the boy he loved and now he was ready to put his life on the line for him too.

Five had ruined Vincent's life, but also made it better in so many ways. He'd gotten him to a place Vincent was convinced was impossible now. He'd made him happy.

Vincent would sacrifice himself for Five Hagreeves and he would not hesitate one bit. He'd run into war unprepared and ill fully armed. He would die and he wouldn't care.

He was being an idiot.

Five would tell him exactly so if he were here. If he weren't injured in bed by the exact same woman Vincent was going to demolish. Five would convince him not to do what he was going to do. Five was an analyst who knew what could ruin their lives in the blink of an eye and Vincent didn't think. Vincent never thought. Not long and hard like he should.

Maybe because he didn't care. He'd never cared. There had only ever been one thing he truly cared about and that had just been shot and was laying in bed in pain. Vincent didn't forgive easy.

He would forgive Five for ratting him out to the Commission and being a total dick. He would forgive Five for killing his ambition and making him feel like shit sometimes. He would forgive Five for anything. Anything and everything.

He wouldn't forgive the Commission. He wouldn't forgive that Handler bitch. He wouldn't forgive her for hurting Five and he wouldn't forgive her for being the worst ever.

He would kill her, and it would be the last thing he would ever do. He'd kill her and he'd never feel remorse for it. She wasn't real in his mind, nor in the mind of the universe. She was a figment of an imagination, but surely not Vincent's.

Vincent walked with his fists clenched at either side of his body. He walked slow, prepared and completely unconcerned. It would be fine. Maybe.

He had chosen a spot in the woods near the Hargreeves home. It was deserted and nothing that would be missed if anything went south. Nothing in the fight would be worth grieving over, not even Vincent.

It was nothing intelligent, nothing thought through or anything. Vincent would attempt to kill an interdimensional being and likely fail miserably. It was just the way life goes. He could accept it easily. Perhaps even in the final moments of his breathing.

It was odd. Though death was something prevalent in Vincent's thoughts that certainly plagued him until he felt like bursting into tears, right at that moment in time he felt nothing at all. He felt content if that counted for anything. Content that he'd just gotten to kiss the person he'd loved the most.

The person who, ultimately, would never let that happen ever again. So what was the point?

Vincent knew how this went. He knew the process well enough. They'd kissed a few times before, of course. Vincent would come back to talk to Five and Five would push him away- perhaps even shove if he was pissed enough about it- and tell him that this kind of thing was against his quota, that he would be screwed if anyone found out. Five would hold his head up high while saying it, though try his hardest to be sympathetic because of course he knew how Vincent felt. He'd known how Vincent felt forever. It wasn't a hard thing to see.

Five had always known but he'd always shied away from talking about it. Five hated that part of Vincent, and Vincent did too.

Vincent always tried hard not to think about that. Especially not while walking to a location that could very possibly lead to his inevitable death. Vincent huffed to himself, sitting against a tree trunk.

"Handler! Handler, Yoo-hoo! Come on, bitch!" Vincent called out with a small laugh. "I know you're listening right now. Of course you're fucking listening. Because you're just obsessed with me, aren't you?! Kinda pathetic. Say it to my face and maybe you'll get a smooch but I'm not so into old ladies." He sighed dramatically. "Say, why'd you even wanna take the form of an old lady? You get any form and you choose that shit? That's like me choosing to have my true form be the oldest woman alive but with two heads." He grinned. He could hear something, something stirring up. She was close by. "Come on, darling. A little talk won't hurt, will it? I know Fivey blew up your little office but you can just snap it back into place, can't you?" He continued. "Unless you actually just have bitch pow-" He started, cut off by a hand around his throat lifting him up against the tree.

Vincent's eyes widened, and he quickly moved his hands to grab hold of his attackers hands. Of course it was the Handler, with her stupid fucking long nails digging against the skin on the back of his neck. Vincent squirmed a little, pathetically, before he got the grand idea of gripping the Handlers wrists tightly in his grasp, shutting his eyes tight and then, well, becoming her.

So there he stood, in the form of some much older woman with said older woman still holding her hands around his throat before she let go. The Handler stared at him with a scowl, not surprised by his actions but just incredibly annoyed. "Are you serious? You're childish, Leblanc. This is why we want you gone." The Handler huffed.

Vincent grinned, putting his hands on his hips and oh fuck the guns. He'd definitely have to go back to his true form for that and surely the Handler would be much more inclined to kill him if he didn't look like her at the same time. Vincent sighed heavily, but kept the grin. "Your body is extremely uncomfortable to be in. Which sounds really gross. No part of me wants to be inside of you. I hope you know that." He pointed at the Handler in an almost warning.

The Handler rolled her eyes, hands on her hips. "What do you want?" She huffed. "There's not much I can do for you. Not much I would like to do for you."

Vincent grinned, shrugging, acting like he wasn't scrambling in his brain for something to do that wouldn't get him or Five killed. "Did you shoot Five?" He raised his eyebrow, leaning just barely closer.

The Handler rolled her eyes yet again. Vincent never wanted to pull someone's eyes out of their head more than in that moment. She would grow them back anyway. "Who else would have done it?" She huffed, like it was obvious. And perhaps it was. Vincent wasn't thinking much these days. "He was being terrible. We don't just let those kinds of things slip by without consequences. You should know that best, Vincent." She spoke lowly, like a warning.

Yes, Vincent did know that very well. He had a past of misbehaving quite often during his reign as hitman for the Commission. He would refuse to kill an innocent person or call someone he was supposed to be working with a cruel name, do something stupid that only got himself into one hell of a punishment. They would do a multitude of things to him when he did something wrong or bad. Sometimes they would shock him with something similar to a dog collar. It was the weirdest of all of them and Vincent had loved to make jokes about it, calling it kinky or "similar to conversion therapy" right to the electrucutioners face. They didn't like that one bit, and often brought the voltages up to a level that should have killed Vincent.

Sometimes they'd slash at his skin with a sharp knife a few times in one single place. This healed quickly because they almost never went deep enough to provide a scar. They would do it usually on the palms of Vincent's hands so every time he would look down at them he would remember. It hurt to hold his gun for a few days as well, just adding to the torture. They would do different symbols each time, first an X, then a star and then the last time Vincent had it done, a word. Soon. Vincent never figured out what that meant. They added the symbols to act like they were high and mighty. The Commission was filled with pompous dickheads.

Sometimes they'd shoot you, as they did to Five. This one was bad, but it wasn't the worst one. They had only ever punished Vincent with this one once. He'd attempted to escape once and they'd caught him. Their anger had been immeasurable. They'd shot him once in the thigh, near his hip. It had been searing and beyond painful, but Vincent had made it his mission to laugh in their faces and act like it didn't hurt. They refused to treat the wound for days, and Vincent had to do his job with a bullet lodged in his leg. They'd pulled it out roughly a week after, and Vincent still had a terrible scar.

The worst one was when they'd cut deep with a dull knife. It was slow and torturous. Vincent had killed seven people in the Commission to get this, another wonderful escape plan of his that went haywire. The man doing the job had had a black mask on as they usually do so Vincent wouldn't do something rash, and they put a large gash in the side of his jaw. That one had bled for hours and they'd only bandaged it and gave him water once he got severely pale.

Vincent winced at all the memories of the punishments, but still bared a large smile. "You're an ugly bitch." He seethed.

"I'm an immortal being," The Handler pointed out, stepping closer to Vincent. "And last I recalled, you are the one who shape shifted into my form." She sighed.

Vincent huffed. "I did that to make you stop fucking choking me!" He exclaimed, quickly switching back to himself, a little annoyed he was just barely shorter than the Handler.

The Handler rolled her eyes at the sight of the boy. "Why do you have guns? You're not as secret as you would think.." She sighed heavily.

Vincent rolled his eyes right back. "Because I'm gonna kill you, you stupid asshole. Put the pieces together." He moved to grab one of the guns- the pistol- though the woman quickly grabbed it back from him, aiming it at his forehead, the barrel right between his eyes. Vincent didn't seem phased, crossing her arms over his chest. "Now you don't have to be cocky about it. I already knew you would do that." He huffed, grabbing the other gun and not wasting any time before he jammed the gun right against the Handlers stomach and shot, ducking down quickly afterwards so he wouldn't get shot in the face.

The Handler groaned in pain, shooting the tree behind Vincent rather than the boy himself. Vincent laughed loudly, clapping a little to himself, grabbing the gun from the woman's hand with a little glare. The Handler moved to grab the boy, trying to hit at him or anything.

Vincent jumped away with more laughs. "This would be more fun if I could teleport." He sighed dramatically, jumping around and around before he eventually stood behind the Handler, putting one hand, one with a gun in it, over the eyes of the being. "Guess who.." He mumbled, grinning when the Handler simply grinned in response, trying to turn around. "'Guess who, guess who, guess who. Come on Miss Handsy. I'm a real stand up guy, dontcha think? With a real killer attitude." He grinned wider.

"You kill me, I'll just come back. There's no way I can die." The Handler mumbled back through gritted teeth.

"No, no, I'm aware darling. But you can feel pain, can't you? Just like you did to me time and time again." Vincent smiled widely, standing right behind the Handler, hand still over her eyes. "Just succumb, isn't that what you said to me? Just stick it to the man, huh? Just do what you've gotta do to be the best you could be, Vincent. Just stop, oh just stop. You little fucker. Five Hargreeves would want you to let them hurt you. He's not a queer like you are. He'd want you in pain because he doesn't love you." Vincent imitated the woman, chuckling a little, getting himself beyond pissed off.

The Handler huffed, and he could feel her grin growing. "Well, it's the truth. We see what Five does in this nasty place. All the dirty things he does. The thing he did with you." She spoke, managing to turn around and face Vincent. Vincent furrowed his eyebrows in surprise, pulling his hand away and taking a step back. Her stomach was bleeding profusely, and she was gripping it tightly, still grinning that sick grin of hers, bleeding from her mouth just the slightest.

"What?" Vincent mumbled, watching her warily.

"We saw what you did. What you both did. Fives done for. He knew the consequences. He chooses you over us and everything he loves dies." The Handler smiled wider. "Can't you see, Vincent? You're ruining it for him." She laughed out. "You're the cause of the apocalypse. You're one cog in the machine. A big one. One that Five is too scared to undo." She grinned wider, stumbling to take a step closer. "You're what's gonna kill his family. You're what's going to end humanity as you all know it. You're the one who makes Five a mushy little coward and he can't deal with killing you himself so he's asking us to do it."

"Shut the fuck up!" Vincent exclaimed with a huff, confused and a bit scared. His hands were shaking by his sides, and he forgot all about the gun.

"He asked us to do it, Vincent. And we're more than happy to oblige. But now I think he could be changing his mind and that's no good." The Handler continued with a chuckle. "You're what he's been dreading. You're what ruined this. You're what stopped the apocalypse from ceasing to exist. You are what Five is scared of. You and what he must do to you to save those he loves more." She spoke, finding it amusing that Vincent seemed to be so scared. "Face it, Vincent. He doesn't want you here. You're what's making this impossib-"

The Handler fell on the ground in that moment, dead for now with a fresh gunshot in her forehead.

Vincent swallowed hard and put the gun down. He hadn't intended to shoot her in the head. He'd wanted to make her suffer and watch triumphantly. But he'd been afraid. He didn't want to hear that. That was the last thing he'd ever wanted to hear.

Vincent wiped the splatter of blood from his cheek with a huff of disgust, wiping it against his pants as he walked away from the body, back to the house. She'd be back to life in a few hours, though she wouldn't dare step foot near Vincent right after. That was what he'd wanted.

Vincent walked into the Hargreeves home again once he finally found his way back, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He walked up to Fives room, raising his eyebrow when he walked into Five looking at himself in the mirror, wearing his usual schoolboy type outfit. "What's going on here, Madonna?" He joked, sitting on Fives bed. "You heal and you immediately go Vogue on us? Unbelievable."

Five rolled his eyes, adjusting his tie. "We're gonna save the world, asshole. Unlike you, I don't want to look like an idiot doing it." He sighed, looking at Vincent through the mirror and raising his eyebrow. "Why do you have blood on your face?" He questioned.

Vincent quickly stopped staring at Five, hand shooting up to wipe the blood away from his cheek, shrugging a little. "Uh.... pimple?" He tried, sighing when Five glared at him through the mirror. "I may have, just a little bit, killed the Handler." He spoke meekly, quiet and soft.

"What?!" Five exclaimed, quickly turning around to face Vincent. "You yell at me for blowing up the Commission and then you do something a million times stupider? What the fuck, Vincent? You're gonna ruin this." Five spoke quickly.

Vincent flinched at the words, just thinking of everything the Handler said. He nodded slow, "Yeah, sorry man." He mumbled softly.

Five raised his eyebrow, moving to stand at the edge of the bed, placing the back of his hand against Vincent's forehead. Vincent leaned into the touch more than he would admit. "Are you sick or something? You're acting way mellower than usual and you look terrible." He chuckled, looking down at Vincent.

"Thanks fucker. I just had wild sex with your robot mom." Vincent joked with a dramatic sigh.

Five shook his head and gently smacked the side of Vincent's forehead. "Shut up." He chuckled almost endearingly. "Klaus is coming with us." He mumbled before moving away from Vincent to look in the mirror again, fixing his hair.

Vincent chuckled, laying back against Fives bed. "Perfect. I like Klaus more than you." He joked with a snort of amusement before he sighed a little to himself and bit his lip. He moved to sit up a little, messing with a piece of thread on a blanket. "Uh... I actually don't think I should come.." He spoke up softly.

Five chuckled. "You're coming Vincent." He shook his head.

"I don't think it's a good idea, is all. I think I'm fucking this up. Nothing has really worked out so far." Vincent spoke up with a chuckle. "You'd be fine without me there bothering you."

"True, but you're a big part of this. I need you there." Five made eye contact with Vincent through the mirror again. "Come on babe. Don't let me down now." Five grinned a little before waking off out of the room, gesturing with one hand for Vincent to follow him.

Vincent blinked quickly, watching Five go. He reached a shaky hand up to his hair, pulling hard to get himself back to reality. Five had never called him a name like that before. He thought they were stupid, he'd said it himself. He had to be leading Vincent on. He did that a lot. He'd make it seem like maybe he'd want something from Vincent, a kiss maybe, and then he'd go and play it off like he didn't know what Vincent was talking about. He'd call Vincent delusional. He'd call him a name he thought was funny but was really just bordering on offensive and push him away and Vincent would pretend to laugh, make a little joke back and do anything else to prevent himself from absolutely screaming.

Vincent had gone through this too many times to get his hopes up.

So he didn't. He stood up and followed Five to Klaus's room. He didn't even look at Five, and didn't care. This wouldn't continue. This cute act wouldn't stick. Maybe Five was just buttering Vincent up, getting ready to kill him and put an end to the apocalypse. Getting ready to get his Commission goons to chop Vincent's head clean off. Vincent wouldn't be surprised. Five played dirty.

Klaus was attempting to knit on his bed, looking moderately annoyed by Five and Vincent being in his room. "Get up. We're going." Five spoke up. "To save the world." He added at Klaus's questioning gaze.

"Oh, is that all? Great." Klaus sighed, sitting up.

"So Pogo said dad killed himself to get us all back together, right?" Five spoke with a nod, pacing a little. "So it got me thinking I could jump into the future to figure out what happened. But then... dad, he can't time travel. So how'd the crazy bastard actually know to kill himself right before the end of the world?" He sighed.

"Well.. y'know," Klaus started with a shrug.

"Don't answer. That was purely rhetorical." Five shook his head.

"You're so annoying," Vincent huffed, sitting beside Klaus.

Five rolled his eyes. "Truth is, our whole lives he's been telling us that the world had an impending apocalypse."

"Yeah, but I also thought he just said that to scare us into doing the dishes." Klaus chuckled as he pulled on his shoes.

"Me too! But what if the old man really knew what was going to happen?" Five asked, stepping closer to Klaus.

"Yeah but how?" Klaus spoke.

"No idea. But the fact remains that his plan worked. We all came home. Since we're here we might as well save the world." Five shrugged.

"Oh yeah? What, like three of us?" Klaus laughed in amusement, glancing at Vincent and making a little motion at Five, mouthing a "he's crazy."

"Ideally no. But gotta work with what I've got." Five shrugged as him and Klaus walked out of the room, Vincent following close behind, bored and anxious.

Upon leaving the room, Diego ran towards them and into his room. "Where have you been?" Five called out with furrowed eyebrows.

"Jail!" Diego called out. "Long story!"

Vincent grinned widely, glancing at Klaus and Five. "This redeems him. I forgive everything Diego has ever done because of this right here." He joked

"Where's Luther?" Diego called out.

"Haven't seen him since breakfast." Dive shrugged as Diego walked out of the room.

"Two days before the world ends he decides to hop off the grid." Klaus chuckled.

"Allison is in danger." Diego spoke up, strapping the stupid fucking straps to his stupid outfit. Vincent wanted to make a joke, but it was probably a bad moment.

"You know who has disappeared and no one cares about? Vanya. Where did she go?" Vincent sighed out dramatically. Five gently smacked Vincent's side, furrowing his eyebrows slowly and hitting the side again.

"Do you have a gun?" Five asked with a raised eyebrow, pulling Vincent closer to further inspect.

"Uh.... that's actually just me being happy to see you." Vincent joked before huffing. "Yes it's a gun. You know what I did. She's in the woods near your house, by the way."

"What the fuck?" Five groaned out, hand pressed firmly against Vincent's shoulder. "They're gonna kill you, Vincent." He sighed, shaking his head. "You're fucked." He chuckled a bit before walking away, back to Klaus and Diego.

Vincent watched and watched with one thing on his mind.

Not if you kill me first.

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A/N: It has been So long and I know I know I'm so so sorry! This chapter is 4056 words just to make up for my very long absence. School has been kicking my ass lately and I've been beyond stressed. Thank you for sticking with me and I hope you like this chapter! I missed Vincent 🥰