~ Luciana's POV ~

8 months later

"Daliah!" All I wanted to hear was the sound of my best friend running down the hallway into the kitchen to help me take care of the huge mess I'd suddenly found myself in, but of course as usual she had the hearing of an 80 year old man, or maybe she just couldn't hear me over the sound of Alana screaming her head off.

I really didn't have much sympathy for my ten month old baby, the whole situation was in fact her fault.

Let me just explain.

I took her out to do some grocery shopping since my bestfriend and my daughter like to finish every piece of food in the house without thinking to replace anything. Okay well that part is more aimed at the 25 year old in the situation rather than the ten month old but still, ever since Alana started eating solid food, Daliah just fed her whatever she could find when I wasn't around. She herself could also eat for three in between meals and never get full.

Anyway, so we went food shopping and the second we got to the cereal isle all hell broke loose. Alana's favourite thing to eat is cereal since she can pick it up and eat it herself now, that was also mostly Daliah's doing. Since she hated having to feed Alana she mostly fed her dry cereal until the baby girl fell in love with it. Now that's all she ever wants. I tend to save it for her as a treat maybe as dessert, but Daliah just gives it to her whenever she's left to cope on her own with Alana.

Anyway that's how Alana can now associate the brightly coloured cereal boxes with her favourite food. So the second we went down that isle she first started pointing and making that cute face she does when she's hungry. Then within seconds she was throwing a tantrum. So I had to quickly finish the shopping while trying my best to keep her calm. After that I had the huge mission of paying for the food, driving home and bringing all the grocery inside while Alana was still crying.

So back to the mess I've now found myself in. I let her choose the cereal she wanted, which was just me showing her the different boxes until she stopped crying when her eyes landed on the fruit loops. So then I poured some out for her also giving her the little sippy cup she can drink from herself, mistakenly leaving the cereal box next to an open bottle of orange juice, also thanks to my dear bestfriend. Anyway Alana managed to knock the brand new, full cereal box over not only spilling all fruit loops but also the orange juice.

There's only one other person I can blame for this mess. Alessio.

From what I've heard and observed in Alana's behaviour over the past few weeks he's been teaching her how to throw things. Which is the reason she threw her cup at the box of cereal and caused this whole mess.

Like I said it was her own fault.

Now I have a screaming baby who wants more cereal which is all over the floor, a puddle of orange juice and a head ache.

Even though I haven't physically seen him for 8 months he's still finding ways to ruin my life.

"Yes Luci?" I rolled my eyes at Daliah's sweet tone, which she was only using when she saw the spilt orange juice all over the floor.

"Clean this mess up then go to the store and get her some more damn fruit loops before she screams the house down." I was now holding Alana in my arms walking around the kitchen trying to calm her down when Daliah opened her mouth to retaliate.

"Argue with me and you can take her with you." The second the words came out of my mouth she clamped her mouth shut and instead started cleaning up the mess all over the floor while Alana just watched, her cries suddenly finished. For the moment.

The second she saw Daliah sweep up all the fruit loops into the dust pan she watched them carefully, until they disappeared in the bin. Then she started crying all over again. Of course then Daliah disappeared leaving me to calm her down all over again.

"Luciana." I rose an eyebrow at Daliah when she strolled into the kitchen ten minutes later with her car keys in hand.

"Alessio is coming over any minute to see Alana." One might think this all happened to be a coincidence that Alessio just so happened to becoming over when I was sending Daliah - the laziest person I know, to the store, the one place she hated going. But the sly smirk on her face told me otherwise.

I narrowed my eyes at her watching as she twirled the keys around her finger, the smirk slowly increasing when she realised she'd won.

"Give me the damn keys."

I know you're all probably a little confused so let me just explain why this situation played out the way it did.

Over the past 8 months I'd been completely avoiding Alessio with everything I had.

He'd been seeing Alana almost five times a week and as she got a bit older, Alana would also stay over with Alessio's mom. I'm assuming Alessio was there for those nights too so that he could spend more time with her. Anyway, any time he would come to the house to spend time with Alana, Daliah would be the one to open the door and I just completely avoided going anywhere near Alana's nursery if I was home. Usually I used those couple of hours to go for a run or get some errands done. Mostly I would work out though, I had to work hard to get my body back to what it was before I had my baby, but I was almost there now after eight months. It was all about consistency.

I was also in much better shape than I was after I had the baby thanks to the regular exercise. Being away from that life didn't just help me mentally over the 8 months but also physically. I felt better about myself - Daliah always says she can tell the difference; my eyes were brighter and I smiled more. I'd also cut my hair from my long wavy hair to just below my shoulders, but that was because I had a baby who loved to grab onto my hair as much as she could.

I think shorter hair suited me more though, it made me feel a little older and mature which I should have been since I was 25 years old and a mother too.

Anyway, if it was Alessio that came to pick Alana up or see her then Daliah would be the one to speak to him. But most of the time it was his mom who came to pick Alana up for the day or evening, whenever it was that Alessio wanted her. I didn't mind speaking to her though since she was clever enough to never mention Alessio directly to me.

So the only contact I'd had with him over the past eight months was either by text or through Daliah since she sometimes spent time with the both of them. That was mainly because she loved playing with Alana (when it didn't involve feeding her or changing her diaper) and because she didn't trust Alessio around his own daughter.

The two of them still hated each other's guts. They didn't ever speak to each other unless they were talking about Alana or arguing. From what I've heard from Daliah, their arguing is actually rather amusing for Alana. She doesn't actually understand what they're saying, she just finds the way they constantly glare at each other and have this little contest of Alana's affection going on between them extremely entertaining. Of course it also meant more attention for her, which she loved.

She really was an attention seeker.

Half an hour later I pulled up to the house again to see Alessio's car parked in his old spot where he used to park when he lived here. I'm not going to lie and say it was easy to get through the past eight months after what happened, because it wasn't. I missed him every single day. Whenever I knew he was in the house or coming to pick Alana up all I wanted was to go to him and tell him I wanted him back. Sometimes the pain in my heart got a little too much to handle, especially when I could hear him laughing with Alana. All I wanted to do was be with them. Like a proper family, my little family.

But it didn't look like that was going to be happening any time soon. I was still angry at him, even after all this time. The longer I spent away from him the clearer I saw all of this. He really was at fault for a lot of things, he had a lot to make up for. So far he hasn't even tried to speak to me about anything apart from our daughter, he'd probably already moved on. Maybe he had a girlfriend now, a stage I never managed to get to with him.

Even just the thought of that hurt in ways no one could imagine.

Letting out a tired sigh I got out the car grabbing the stupid box of fruit loops and making my way back inside. As soon as I closed the front door I could hear his voice speaking quietly to Alana who seemed to be crying. What I didn't expect was for them to be so close, usually they're in the nursery upstairs but this time they were in the living room, right by the front door.

I tried to quickly pass the door but the second I did I heard Daliah call my name. I did hesitate for a moment before I went inside but I knew she would only call me if it was serious. As much as she's annoying and immature she's never let me be around Alessio. She always does her best to keep us apart and warn me when he's around. So if she was calling me then there was a problem.

As soon as I stepped inside the room I made sure to avoid making eye contact with him although I could feel his heated gaze on me as I spoke to Daliah.

"What's wrong?" I put the cereal box down on the coffee table, my eyes going over to Alana who was fussing in Alessio's arms, her forehead scrunched up while she cried.

"Alana has a fever, we're not really sure why. She won't stop crying either." I glanced over at Daliah one more time before I made my way over to Alessio, still refusing to make eye contact with him as I gently took her from his arms.

"Hey baby." I held her in my arms, whispering quietly to her to try and calm her down while I thought about what to do while I also took a few steps away from Alessio just so that the scent of his cologne wasn't constantly invading my senses.

"We need to take her to the doctor, but it's pretty late I don't think they'd be able to fit us in."

Daliah glanced between Alessio and I with an apprehensive expression on her face before she finally told me what was on her mind.

"We already thought of that. The only other option is their doctor." She gestured towards Alessio and for the first time I finally turned to look at him, to see him already staring directly at me. My eyes locked with his dark brown ones and in that moment, all I felt was the exact same emotions I felt when I first met him over two years ago in my old bosses office. The same instant attraction I had to the dark aura he possessed, except this time I knew exactly why he had that.

I was finally brought out of the trans when what Daliah was saying finally hit me. They wanted me to go back that stupid building again where their doctor was. To the place that had brought me so much heartache and pain over the past couple of years. That also meant Daliah wasn't going to come with me since she never wanted to go back there.

Of course I wanted to protest, but I knew I had to put Alana before myself. She needed to see a doctor and this was the only way she would be able to do that today.

"Fine. Let's go." We started making our way towards the door as Daliah followed us out, sending me an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry I can't come with you Luci." I shook my head at her when we stopped at the front door so Alessio could put his shoes on. "It's okay, I get it."

"How about I cook dinner tonight? It'll be all ready when you get back." I nodded my head at her suggestion following Alessio our the front door as I said my last words to her. "Don't forget to order me two portions of egg rolls."

Alessio and I went over to his car and after a while of us both trying to get Alana to calmly get in her car seat we were finally driving to the one place I hated the most in this world. The ride was completely silent, apart from the baby video I was showing Alana on my phone. I usually saved it for her as a treat or when she was in moods like she was today, it was enough to keep her mind occupied for a few minutes.

The silence in the car allowed my thoughts to drift straight back to the man sitting inches infront of me, driving with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the centre console, a slight frown etched across his face.

I know we'd both changed a lot over the past eight months, but at first impressions the changes seemed to be the complete opposite. Whereas I liked to think I'd managed to get myself out of a dark place, it seemed like Alessio had found himself in one, or at least, he was on the way there.

The frown on his face told me there was much more going on in his head than he would ever let anyone know. Whenever anyone wanted to help Alessio, he didn't want to take it. He liked to be the one to set things straight, he didn't like anyone knowing and when things went wrong he took it out on those around him.

But when it came down to it, he kept things to himself and usually it was the main thing that led to a deterioration in his relationships.
All you had to do was look at our relationship to know that.

If I was ever going to move on from this place with him and consider tying to give our relationship another go, that's if he wanted to, that would all have to change. It comes under trust. He would have to trust me with the things going on in his life and he'd have to trust that I would be there for him. Whether that was helping him or just being there to listen to him, give him advice and support him.

Knowing Alessio it was something that had a high chance of never happening but he could manage that, nothing could ever change.

My attention was brought back to the silence of the car or the lack of it, when Alana started crying again once the video had finished.

"Sorry baby, I wasn't concentrating." Instead of calming down when I placed a kiss on her forehead all she did was cry more which carried on while I hurriedly tried to find another video for her.

"We're here Luciana." I glanced up from my phone to look out the window, feeling a small sense of relief hit me followed by a large sense of anxiety. Relief because I could finally get Alana out the car and anxiety since I would now have to face a number of people I wished I would never see again.

Alessio parked his car in his usual place outside the front door before getting out and coming to unbuckle Alana from her car seat. I felt my heart ache as I watched my baby girl cry her eyes out, burning up even more as she did. It was the hardest thing to see her unwell. Whenever she got a cold or when she was teething I hated it, as a mother it was the hardest thing to see.

Letting out a deep sigh I got out the car coming around to stand next to Alessio, the only thing going through my head at that moment was making sure she was okay. I would do anything for her, including coming back here to this place and these people.

"Here." Alessio gently placed her in my arms and the comfort of being in my arms seemed to calm her down slightly, but only a little bit. As soon as she was in my arms I started whispering quietly to her, trying my best to keep her calm as we quickly walked to the door, the cool January air whipping around us.

Once we got inside, Alessio didn't waste any time in walking straight down the familiar hallways to the place where I'm assuming the doctor was. The looks I was receiving from all the people I passed were just as I expected the only thing was that they looked at me and then focussed more on the crying baby in my arms.

Eventually we got to his room and we took a seat while Alessio started explaining the situation to the doctor. He started the story explaining what happened at the house and the changes in Alana's behaviour where I jumped in to tell him that she'd already been crying a lot when the whole cereal thing happened. Once we'd told him everything he ran a few tests on her, and at this point thankfully her crying had calmed down. Sadly it wasn't because she had started feeling any better, it was because the poor baby was just exhausted.

"Okay, it looks like it could be the early signs of chicken pox. There's nothing here that is of any notable concern, it's just important to keep an eye on her fever and watch as it plays out."

"That's it?" The doctor nodded in response to my question as he finished writing some notes before he finally looked at me again.

"Give her some medicine for the aches and pains and the fever which is what's causing her to cry so much now. After that you can get some over the counter creams and ointments for her. It should clear up within two weeks." I rolled my eyes at the way he spoke before I stood to my feet causing Alana to shift in my arms.

For some reason the way he spoke to me just annoyed me, like I didn't already know that. Okay maybe I was biased because he was the mafia doctor and I didn't like the mafia but still, he spoke to me like I didn't know anything about taking care of a child, or like I didn't have access to the internet to help me.

Alessio quickly finished off the conversation before following me out the room since I didn't bother to wait for him. It's not like he didn't know his way around this stupid building.

A few seconds later he'd caught up with me, his eyes focussed on Alana in my arms just as she started fussing again in my arms.

"She looks like she's going to cry." My steps slowed down before we eventually came to a stop, both of us now focusing on Alana who was making that face where you could tell she didn't know what she was about to do. It was like she was trying to decide if she had the energy to start crying again. I would have given everything in that moment for her to not cry, all I wanted to do was get home as quickly as I could without any hiccups. Her crying would be what I would class as a hiccup.

"Alessio." All three of us looked towards the direction of the voice, Alana only looking for a second before her eyes came back to me, her small hand reaching out to grab some of my hair, something she did when she wanted my attention. So, instead of looking at Mason and Eli who were walking towards us, both of them focusing on me, I kept my attention on Alana.

They started talking about some business, it was mainly all about money and figures which I didn't bother listening to. My main focus was my daughter who was busy trying to find something to occupy herself with, probably to keep herself from crying again since by now she most likely realised crying only made her feel worse.

"Try this." I glanced over at Alessio who'd taken one of her rattles out of his pocket when he heard her start whimpering again. As a parent one thing I can say is you find the most random baby things in the weirdest of places. As you can tell, the capo of the Italian Mafia had a rattle in his pocket.

Considering everything that had happened already today and the state Alana was in I thought I was doing a pretty good job at keeping her calm but of course Alessio wanted to subtly point out that he thought I wasn't. I narrowed my eyes at him for a moment before reluctantly taking the rattle from him.

I held the brightly coloured toy in front of Alana, shaking it a little to get her attention while I felt the eyes of Alessio, Mason and Eli on me. The second Alana saw the rattle in front of her she studied it for a moment before she let out a loud screech, snatching the toy from my hand she launched it across the hallway. I had to stop my mouth from tugging up into a smirk when I saw her reaction, knowing it was Alessio who taught her to throw in the first place and that obviously just backfired on him.

I heard Eli and Mason break out into laughter behind me while I did my best not to laugh while telling Alana off. I wasn't really upset with her, but I still had to say it otherwise she'd think it was okay to throw things whenever she wanted, like Alessio was teaching her.

"Alana, no. We don't throw things." All she did was string together a few random noises, seemingly a little happier now that she was the centre of attention since Eli, Mason and Alessio were watching her. My child really was an attention seeker. I spent the next few minutes trying to keep her entertained while purposely trying not to look at the three men standing next to me who soon went back to talking about whatever business they had to discuss.

Of course I didn't want to speak to Alessio, but I still hadn't forgotten the fact that everyone here, apart from Tomasso also thought that I was working with the Russians. So I didn't have anything to say to them; they may have been close to Alessio and I may have gotten along with them when I was on good terms with Alessio but now they really don't mean anything to me. Even though Tomasso believed me, the argument we had that night didn't really leave us in a good place so we weren't speaking either. He took Alessio's side as per usual.

As much as he used to be there for me and offered me advice when I was going through things with Alessio, ultimately he would always take Alessio's side and do things for his bestfriend rather than for me.

I was busy talking quietly to Alana when I heard footsteps coming up behind me followed by Alana focusing on whoever it was coming towards us. The second I turned around I instantly regretted it when I locked eyes with Tomasso and next to him was Thea. I held his stare for a moment before my eyes drifted across to Thea who was standing next to him giving me a small smile, then down towards their intertwined hands.

So I guess they finally got together.

"Here." Tomasso held the same rattle Alana had just thrown down the hallway, out to me with his free hand, a small smile tugging at his lips. I quickly shifted Alana in my arms for a better grip on her when she started squealing once she laid eyes on Tomasso, before taking the rattle from him, mumbling a quiet 'thank you'.

The two of them stood there obviously wanting to have some sort of conversation but thankfully before anyone could say anything else, Alessio said something to Tomasso in Italian. He was probably calling him over since he and Thea went to join the rest of them in talking about something to do with the mafia straight away.

Just like old times.

It was only a couple of minutes before Tomasso came over to me again, this time reaching out to take Alana from my arms when she squealed excitedly for the second time after seeing him. Even though I hadn't actually spoken to anyone about Alana's attachments with people in Alessio's life, I had always assumed she was developing some kind of bonds with some people, Alessio's family in particular which included Tomasso. I wasn't really sure how much he allowed any of the rest of his friends to be around Alana, but I knew he trusted them, it just depended on how much time they spent with her which determined if she would be able to recognise them and remember them when she saw them. Judging by her reaction towards Tomasso I can safely assume he spent a lot of time with her when Alana wasn't with me.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Hearing his thick Italian accent after such a long time took me back to all the times we used to bicker and argue with each other, and whenever something serious was going on, the short, almost rare moments of being there for each other.

"I don't really think that's a good idea Tomasso."

"Please? Just one minute." He gave a pleading smile causing me to let out a small sigh, I glanced over at Alessio to see him deep in conversation with the others before apprehensively nodding. I followed Tomasso a few steps away from them before he turned to face me again, this time a more serious expression on his face while he thought of a way to start the conversation.

"You've changed your hair. You look good...better than before..." Clearing my throat I awkwardly crossed my arms over my chest before I spoke.

"It's been a long time. I've moved on." When I said the second part I let the words come out in a colder tone to get my point across to him that I no longer needed Alessio or him or the mafia. I didn't need anyone from here.

"Right...well I just wanted to see how you were getting on. I know we didn't leave things on the best of terms-" As soon as I realised what he was saying I shook my head cutting him off.

"Don't Tomasso-"

"Just let me finish Luciana." He gave me a stern look, narrowing his eyes at me slightly reminding me for a second of who he was and his usual short temper which he was obviously trying to control. Just like Alessio he hated being cut off.

"I just wanted to say sorry, for how I spoke to you. You know he's my bestfriend, sometimes I'm quick to jump to his defence, but in that situation I was wrong, so I'm sorry." He gave me one more smile before focusing his attention on Alana again who was busy touching his face like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

Instead of saying anything to him about what he just said I decided it was better to just leave the subject alone. Partly because I didn't really know what else to say and also because honestly I wasn't even that angry with him anymore, there was no need to drag it out. Sure he said a lot that night, but he was still the only one who stuck by me.

"So you and Thea?" His eyes flickered over to mine when I gave him a teasing smirk causing a small smile to tug at his lips.

"I finally figured out how to treat her right, then I got the balls to apologise. I asked her if we could start fresh and since then we've been in a good place." I nodded my head as I listened to him speak, sounding the happiest he ever really had around me before.
"That's good, I'm happy for you."

"You didn't speak to her, just now."

"I don't really have anything to say to her, or to anyone here really. Like I said I've moved on, my focus is my family now - which is pretty much just Alana." Tomasso nodded at my words although I could instantly tell he didn't like what I said but thankfully he didn't give in to what he wanted to say which was probably something along the lines of 'we're all a family, just get over what happened'.

We made small talk for a few more minutes, mostly just talking to Alana before she eventually started to get grumpy again once the excitement of seeing Tomasso started to wear off. After placing a kiss goodbye on her cheek, Tomasso passed me Alana before going over to Alessio to tell him to hurry up following my request for him to do that and a few minutes later we were finally back at the car.

This time getting Alana in the car seat was much easier since she was pretty much half asleep, she didn't care what was going on anymore. The ride back to my house was dead silent, but thankfully much quicker than the ride here earlier and before I knew it we were parked up and Daliah came rushing out to see Alana. Alessio kissed Alana's cheek goodbye, mumbling quietly to her in a mix of Italian and English - the only thing I caught was that he'd come and see her everyday until she was feeling better.

"I'll tell you what happened in a minute just get her inside please, it's freezing." Daliah nodded as she took Alana from Alessio's arms, taking her inside and leaving Alessio and I alone for the first time in eight months. We stood in a momentary silence before Alessio finally cleared his throat before he spoke.

"You're doing an amazing job with her. Whenever I see her I can tell how much effort you put in with her, you know like reading to her and teaching her things. Even at ten months she's already so alert and aware of things."

"Thank you."

"It can't be easy, raising her alone with Daliah around." A small smile tugged at my lips at the way he mentioned Daliah like she was the problem in the equation. Even though he was only making a joke just to lighten the mood it worked, for the moment.

"When she wants to she really does help. She keeps Alana occupied which gives me a chance to get things done around the house and she helps me out with a lot too."

"Like helping you to avoid me?" I would have expected him to say those words with more anger but to my surprise he had an amused smile on his face.

"Aless-"

"It's okay Luciana, I know you needed your space, so I gave it to you and you can have it for as long as you need it." Although he was trying to be nice for some reason his words really hit a nerve, and before I knew it I'd said something I knew I'd later come to regret. Massively.

"I don't need you to give me space and I don't need you Alessio. You might as well stop hoping for anything to happen between us because it won't. Never again. It's been eight months and I'm done with you, I've moved on. You should too."

With that I left him by his car, not waiting to see his reaction or hear whatever he had to say. All I knew was that while I was speaking his face became hard and cold as it used to whenever something hurt him and he wanted to mask it instantly. It's like his words triggered something inside me and all I wanted to do was extinguish whatever hope he had for us, as bad as it sounds I wanted to hurt him like I'd been hurt. In that moment I didn't care what kind of impact my words left on him, seeing him after such a long time so unexpectedly today messed with something inside me telling me what I said to him was complete bullshit which just angered me.

After all this time I hadn't moved on. Not in the slightest.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote and comment xx ❤️