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~ Luciana's POV ~

It had only been two weeks since that night and honestly it felt like I was having the worst two weeks of my life.

I was so stressed at work I swear my hair was starting to fall out. I'd been working late every single day and it was finally Friday, but I was completely exhausted. On top of that I was beginning to come down with a, probably stress related, illness. Along with the exhaustion I was constantly feeling, I was now getting headaches all the time.

Of course thats without the obvious hurt, anger, sadness and regret I felt whenever I thought about Alessio. Which was a lot. At first I didn't really know how to make sense of what happened, it's not like it was a breakup because we weren't together. But we did spend a lot of time together and of course I was developing feelings for him, so it hurt. A lot.

It felt like somehow he'd broken my heart when it wasn't even his to break in the first place.

He didn't make it easy on me that night either. I still slept in the same bed as him all night, and all I wanted to do was hug him and just hope he didn't mean what he said or that it was some dream instead. But when I woke up in the morning he didn't say a word to me. We didn't do or say anything that morning, I got dressed grabbing all my things and he drove me home in dead silence. He didn't say a word to me when I got out the car and he couldn't wait to speed away from me the second I shut the door of his Lamborghini. That was the last time I saw him.

"Luciana?" I tried to respond to Gemma as normally as I could but she saw straight through my false smile when I realised I'd spaced out of our conversation. Honestly I loved her but she was annoying at times. Like let me pretend I'm fine, just accept it. She always knew the truth and felt the need to give me her advice and opinions. The whole time I was trying to get over what happened with Alessio she was just always there. It was starting to bug me more and more. But I still loved her and she was used to me being a moody bitch at work.

"You need to go home Luciana. You don't look good at all." I shook my head at her and took another sip of the water I had been sipping on all morning. "Honestly I'm good, don't worry."

"Luciana." I stood up, in an attempt to show her that I was fine, fully mobile and able to handle myself, but I regretted it as soon as a sharp pain struck through my head. I tried my best to cover it up while I walked over to her, but obviously she knew.

The bitch knew everything.

"Stop trying to hide it from me. Why can't you just accept it? You've been working too hard all week, go home and rest. You look like you need it."

"I'm fine Gemma! Honestly I'm-" My words instantly cut off when I felt bile rising up my throat, my eyes widening as I covered my mouth. Gemma quickly grabbed the nearest trash can, kicking the door shut with her foot when I began to violently throw up. She rubbed my back while holding the trash can infront of me until I was finally done. By the end my throat was burning and I was just dry heaving since there was nothing left in my stomach.

"Luciana..." I shook my head at her to stop whatever sympathetic line she was about to give me when tears pricked my eyes. She put the trash can down and grabbed my glass of water off my desk, I took it from her with shaky hands taking a few sips.
"How many times have you thrown up?"

"This is the fifth day, so maybe seven or eight times." She stood in silence for a moment, watching me sip the water. I could tell she was going to try and make me go home again, so I gave in before she could.

"I'll go home." She gave me a small smile and rubbed my shoulder soothingly. "Do you need anything? I can take you home if you want, you're not really in a fit state to drive."

"I'm fine. It's only a ten minute drive, I'll be fine. Thank you for your help."

"I don't really know what to do with that now." A small laugh escaped my lips when she scrunched her nose up looking down at the trash can. "Call someone from maintenance. But Gem, do it discreetly please."

"Of course I will, don't worry. You just go home and rest I'll sort it out."

She helped me gather my things and gave me one last hug before I left. The drive home was a lot longer than I thought it would have been thanks to the roadworks. I hate road works, I can't stand them, they're so pointless most of the time it's ridiculous.

As soon as I got home, I took a warm bath to soothe my aching muscles before making myself a cup of green tea and sitting down at my laptop to finish my work.

Take that Gemma.

Honestly I didn't want to work but I had to. It was just one of those situations, but I guess I do get to do it at home now incase I throw up again. I didn't think I would though, I don't know why I did this morning, I hadn't eaten anything weird and I didn't even feel sick before.

That night I ate light foods careful not to upset my stomach again before getting an early night, the best moment of my week was when my head hit the pillow. I was dead to the world.

<<<<<<< >>>>>>> <<<<<<<

The next morning I woke up with exactly the same thing. No nausea, yet I threw up again. My head was absolutely killing me so when someone knocked on the door all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry hoping I would never have to hear that sound again.

I opened the door with a glare on my face which only intensified when I saw Gemma standing there. "Luciana hi."

"Hi." I grumbled quietly before walking away from the door leaving her to close it behind herself when she came in. "You look better, much happier too."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her sarcasm knowing it would only aggravate my headache even more. "Is there a reason you've descended upon me on a Saturday morning?"

"Yes, actually. I'm going to take you out for some fresh air, so let's go." I shook my head and let out a groan when my stomach began doing summersaults. "I really can't Gemma, you probably want to leave. I've got some sickness bug and I don't want to pass it on to you."

"Nonsense! If you're not well then I'll look after...you." Her sentenced trailed off when I took off running straight for my bathroom when the sudden urge to throw up hit me again. I dropped infront of the toilet just in time but nothing came up since I hadn't eaten anything yet and whatever was in my stomach had already come up earlier.

"Luciana...let me take you to a doctor, this isn't good." I shook my head and slumped against the wall next to the toilet. "No, I'm fine."

"Stop telling me you're fine! You're not fine Luciana!" I narrowed my eyes at her when she shouted at me but didn't say anything.

"It's probably just a stomach bug, like I told you. It should pass soon Gemma." She let out a sigh obviously not convinced but nodded anyway. "Well I'm looking after you today, no excuses."

Great.

We spent the rest of the day in my apartment watching a Twilight marathon. I fell asleep during New Moon though, it's the most boring one and honestly it's just depressing. But I guess it shows you that sometimes you don't need that person, you just need a really good friend to get you through.

I wish I felt this soppy when Gemma was around, but I know she doesn't take any of my moaning to heart. That's been the way our friendship blossomed. You only get close to someone when you can be yourself around them, she knows this is what I'm like most of the time. Probably because I mostly see her at work which just makes me want to cry every time the damn elevator doors open in the morning.

"Do you think you'll be able to eat something now Luciana? You haven't eaten anything all day." My eyes cracked open slightly when she spoke softly once the credits to New Moon started and I shook my head, the thought of food making my stomach churn. "Not yet."

"Luciana you really should see a doctor. This isn't normal. If you had a sickness bug it would have passed days ago." I let out a small groan and my hands over my face wishing to God that I had powers to make Gemma disappear. Sadly I didn't.

"I'll be fine Gemma. There's nothing else it could be." She scrunched her nose up into her 'thinking face' before she finally turned to look at me with an unreadable expression on her face. "When was your last period?"

"My what?" She rolled her eyes at my shocked tone, obviously just wanting to get the answer out of me as fast as she could. "Your last period Luciana, when did it start?"

"I don't know, a few weeks ago? Maybe a month? But it doesn't matter, I know what you're thinking and it's not possible." Gemma shook her head at mhm clear guess, I was never good at coming up with answers on the spot. The truth was I had no clue when my last period was, in between all the stuff that's gone on over the last month I haven't been able to even think about that. "It is possible. For starters you don't even know when your last period was."

"No it's not."

"Luciana-"

"It's not." She rolled her eyes at the stubbornness in my tone. "It's not possible Gemma. We always used protection and-"

"Luciana!" I jumped at the volume she used, clamping my mouth shut when she glared at me.
"Relax Gemma, you're worrying about nothing." She shook her head at me like I was a child and stood up grabbing her coat. "Wait here."

I let out a sigh when she grabbed my keys and stormed out of my apartment, but not before sending me another glare. Twenty minutes later she returned with a small bag. She tossed the bag at me and took her coat off. "Go on."

"Gemma I'm not pregnant. You're making a fuss out of nothing, I told you we were careful."

"I don't care if you used protection, go and take the test."

I sent her a glare but got off the couch anyway, the quicker I took the damn test the quicker I could snuggle up again and go back to sleep. I went into my bathroom and took the test, before washing my hands. I opened the door to see Gemma sitting nervously on my bed, waiting for the next five minutes to be up. That makes one of us I guess. "You don't even seem bothered Luciana."

"Because I know I'm not pregnant. There's no way, we were always careful."

"Condoms can split Luciana. That's if you even used one every time." I shook my head at her and leaned against the wall in my bedroom. "If you're trying to make me nervous it's not going to work."

We stayed in silence for a few more minutes before the five minutes was finally up. "Well?"

I glanced over at Gemma before turning over the stick in my hand to look at the result.

My whole world came to a standstill when I saw the positive test staring back at me.

I had no idea how I was supposed to feel. I knew I should have been happy, this is meant to be a happy thing for someone when you find out you're having a child, a baby that's half of you and half of the person you love. But I couldn't find any joy inside me at all. I was terrified, angry, sad and confused.

Was I supposed to be happy? My situation was completely different to theirs. I wanted to focus on my career, I didn't want children yet. I wanted to wait until I was happily married and ready for a baby, I wanted control over it.

Alessio and I weren't together, everything ended in a complete disaster. Not that I loved him when we were 'together'. I cared about him obviously a lot, but I wasn't sure if I was in love with him. I never even thought about the possibility of starting a family with him, because I just didn't want to look that far into the future.

He's in the mafia. Now my baby is going to be brought up into the same life I vowed I would avoid at any cost, that I would never let my children go through what I went through. Yet here I was, breaking that promise to my child before it was even born.

I dropped to my knees, everything was spinning around me yet all I could focus on was that positive sign in front of me, the pregnancy test indicating that I was in fact six weeks pregnant.

"Look at me." I felt a hand on my cheek turning my face away from the test and instead focusing on Gemma who had tears in her eyes. "Don't worry Luciana, whatever happens I'll be with you, okay?"

I slowly nodded my head, wiping away the steady stream of tears that were now falling down my face. We stayed crouched on the floor for what seemed like hours before Gemma finally managed to get me to go back to the couch. She brought me a glass of water while holding my hand, just sitting with me in silence.

"You need to tell him." I focused my puffy eyes on her, that hadn't even crossed my mind yet. The last thing I wanted to do was speak to him at that moment. "I'll tell him later, not right now. I just need to make sense of it all first. I know I need to be in a clear state of mind to deal with that conversation."

After that day weeks had passed which turned into 4 months and I still hadn't told him. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The day he ended things he told me he didn't want children yet and most likely he didn't want children with me. He wasn't ready for 'commitments' either. I didn't want to see him or speak to him, I hated the way he dealt with everything. If he didn't want to be with me it would have been fine, it obviously would have hurt, but I'd rather he told me that instead of leading me on and allowing me to start developing the feelings that I did for him, then he broke my heart.

I still didn't know who I could tell about the pregnancy aswell. It was his baby, which meant I had to be careful, Alessio always told me he had enemies and that I needed to be careful of who knew about our relationship. If they somehow found out I was pregnant if I told the wrong person, I'd be in even more danger.

I tried to get back to normal as fast as I could, which meant coming back to work. Also meaning more stress than ever.
So on top of the stress of the baby and Alessio I now had the stress of work added to my list.

I honestly had no clue how to handle this situation. I could almost guarantee that the moment Alessio found out he'd lose his mind and then he'd never let me out of his sight. All my independence would be gone, he'd just be controlling everything I did or who I saw. On top of that I'm pretty sure our 'relationship' would change completely. There was some sort of chemistry between us but as soon as he finds out I'm sure he'd never come near me again. Apart from the sickness my life hasn't changed drastically and even though I know it will happen soon, all I wanted to do was hold onto my life for a little longer before Alessio found out and my whole life that I'd built up came tumbling down.

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