KAIPO HAD SINCE LOST TRACK OF THE TIMES THOR HAD STAYED WITH HIM IN BED. The two would stay awake for hours, making their way towards Knowhere where Thor and the Asgardians had given it to the Collector for safe keeping a few years prior, which Thor was more than aware of. The Collector was rather eccentric, however, and he wanted to make sure that it was still in safe hands. When they would call it a night—though Kaipo would point out it was always dark in space, though he rarely did look out at it—they would retreat to their rooms, Thor often staying by himself before caving and silently creeping into Kaipo's room, always welcome, but always asking for permission.

The Asterion woke to an arm thrown around his waist and a sturdy frame pressed against his back, a beard tickling at the back of his neck and hair, causing him to stir and shift away, but to no avail. The more he tried to move, the tighter he was held, and he eventually gave up trying.

"Thor," he groaned, pushing him, "Thor, wake up."

"No," the god grumbled, holding him tighter, "I'm sleepy."

"You slept all night," Kaipo argued, groaning when Thor pulled him flush against his chest, hiding his face in his shoulder, "I'm not a barmaid, let me go."

He wrenched himself out of Thor's grip, vaulting out of bed and stumbling towards the window, searching for his clothes.

"What makes you think it was only barmaids?" Thor asked, sitting up and giving Kaipo a lewd grin, the brunette scoffing and throwing a shirt over his head; it wasn't until he met Thor that Kaipo realized why Alasdair always fidgeted whenever he made his less than appropriate jokes.

Kaipo didn't understand Thor. The two had become more civil with each other as time passed, joking and jibing as they continued along their way, swapping stories and keeping each other company as they traversed the vast space around them. While he learned more and more about the blond each day, he still never ceased to surprise.

"We don't need to get up," Thor pointed out, holding out his arms in a silent plea for a hug, and Kaipo refused, crossing his arms and shaking his head.

Thor frowned, moving to follow Kaipo who immediately raced towards the door, Thor growling as he lunged for him, shouting for him to come back as Kaipo raced down the halls, bursting into Thor's room, hiding in his closet.

He peered out, watching as the blond paused in the center of the room, looking around before sighing, flopping down on his bed. Reaching out, his hammer flew from the ground and into his hand, and he ran his hand idly over its markings, looking sadder than Kaipo had ever seen him.

He watched as he made his way to the mirror in his room, undoing the braid that was always found in his hair, pulling out a tightly bound lock of black hair that he had never noticed before; how he didn't was a mystery, it was a polar opposite to the blond locks that covered the god's head.

He frowned as Thor's shoulders shook, his back towards him, and it took him a few moments to realize that Thor was crying. He watched for a few moments longer before remembering himself, realizing what he was doing, and adjusted his footing, opening the closet and stepping out.

Thor heard him and coughed, trying to cover his tears, but Kaipo shook his head, placing a hand on his shoulder and sitting down on the bed just by the seat, feeling Thor lean into the touch. With a sigh, he looked around, grabbing another chair and moving to sit right next to the god, allowing him to rest his head on his shoulder, freely crying.

Thor didn't speak, and Kaipo didn't ask, simply allowing Thor to use him as an anchor, something to remind him that he wasn't alone; the god had told him that it had been a long time since he had been back to both Earth and Asgard, and Kaipo understood the feeling of loneliness better than anyone at the current time; it was his understanding that allowed Thor to stay with him at night.

The god was lonely and homesick, sending him away would be cruel, even for Kaipo.

When Thor finally calmed, he said nothing, sniffing and standing up, making his way to the control center at the front of the ship, giving Kaipo no other choice but to follow, biting his tongue to refrain from speaking, instead simply joining Thor at the center table that held a map of the charted galaxy and its planets.

"We're taking a detour," the god explained, pointing towards a planet just slightly off their path to Knowhere, "There's a library—"

"We're going to the Library of Austea?" he interrupted, eyes wide as the memories flooded back to him, flashes of images appearing behind his eyes as he spoke, "That library holds all the information in the known universe, but only reveals to the seeker what they need to know at the given time."

"Let's hope it deems us worthy of more information," Thor said, giving him a strong smile, and Kaipo nodded in agreement.

"We should make it there in two weeks?" he offered and Thor nodded, yawning as he looked around the room.

"How much time have we spent together on this ship?" he asked, looking around once more before turning back to Kaipo, his blue eyes piercing as he looked him in the eye.

The Asterion struggled to breathe, shrugging. "I wonder the same thing each day. I couldn't tell you."

Thor leaned forward against the table, forcing Kaipo to look down at him, the god giving him an small, open mouthed smile. "We've gotten to know each other well over this expanse of time, yes?"

"We've cried in each other's company and share the same bed, I'd say we know each other better than either of us would like," Kaipo snarked, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

Thor shrugged, clasping his hands together and winking. "Speak for yourself."

Kaipo shifted just slightly, taking in his words. He and Thor had landed on a planet during their travels to replenish their power supply and rations, which meant they had been together for at least three months, which was something Kaipo tried not to think too much about. In their time together, he had grown almost fond of the blond, though that could be attributed to his inability to pick as many fights.

"I need to go," he said carefully, turning around and making his way back to his room, hearing Thor curse and call after him.

"Kaipo!" he shouted, grabbing his arm and turning him around, taking a step back to give him space, "I apologize if I was too forthright, I didn't mean to cause you discomfort."

Kaipo laughed slightly. Thor had reverted back to his more formal Asgardian language which, he had admitted, was becoming less and less of his preferred vernacular, adopting the more casual speech of Earth, Kaipo happy to accommodate, finding more ways to snark and jibe at him with a less formal diction. But Thor's return meant he was uncomfortable, and Kaipo could easily say he was in the same boat.

"You're fine, Thor," he said, but he was glad for the distance, if only to allow him time to find himself, "I'm not upset, I just need time to think."

"About?" the blond pressed eagerly, backing off when Kaipo gave him a withering look, "I'm sorry. I'll go back to the controls...may I join you tonight?"

Kaipo stifled a sigh, nodding. "I won't mind."

Thor nodded, pursing his lips, backing away slowly, giving Kaipo one last look before disappearing to the front of the ship, allowing the Asterion to rush back to his room, holing himself inside, leaving only himself and his thoughts.

He sighed, moving to lie on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't understand why he, of all people, was uncomfortable by Thor's jokes and advances. He who chased after whomever was closest and willing, happy to find people to warm his bed, even if only for one night. He who constantly tried to push Alasdair onto whomever caught his eye during a night of revelries after battle, yet was constantly met with opposition.

"It isn't that I am averse to carnal pleasures," Alasdair constantly reminded him time and time again, "It's that I find no interest in pursuing them now. And the way you do, without knowing so much as their name, I-I can't find pleasure in that, I need connection, I need—"

He never finished his sentence, no matter how many times he'd say it, and there would always be a looming tension between the two, one neither wanted to cross, because at the end of it all,their feelings and relationship were not compatible with the pleasures Kaipo sought for the both of them, not even the pleasures that Alasdair himself longed for.

Theirs was a relationship separate from all, but there was no denying that Alasdair craved connection as close as theirs was.

Or had been, Kaipo reminded himself bitterly, feeling his throat close as he realized how long it had been since he had seen Alasdair, felt him. He had hardly spoken or touched him just before they parted ways.

He felt bile rise in his throat and he sat up, forcing himself to take deep breaths, mumbling to himself, feeling a warm feeling spread throughout his body. His parents had always warned him against over using that particular spell, but considering he hadn't used it in as long as he could remember, he was allowed to use it then.

He was on a high that could barely be explained, vision filled with gold as his entire body relaxed, eyes slipping open and closed involuntarily, lips curled into a smile and breathing even and happy, if it could even be described as such.

Alasdair always looked down upon him for using his powers in such a way, the Kallrynion incapable of such magic, only sharing a limited supply as a result of their bond. Despite their closeness, there was some deep seated disagreement on account of their ancestral history, though it rarely affected them personally.

His high kept him from thinking of Alasdair and Thor and his people and his parents and his planet. He thought of nothing at all, and it was a bliss that he constantly yearned for, but could only seek out sparingly; his parents might be dead, but it would be a disgrace not to honor their teachings, at least to the extent he was willing to listen.

His concept of time, however weak it had already had been, was completely shattered and he was unable to register that it had been hours since he had left Thor to his own devices, not even when the blond opened the door, frowning down at him, not climbing into bed.

When Kaipo did finally come to, hours later, he blinked, finding Thor sitting on his chair, reading one of the books they had gotten on their last stop, idly scanning the pages, looking unamused.

Without looking up, he asked, "What did you do?"

Kaipo coughed, groaning as he sat up, his head pounding and heart aching, everything rushing back all at once. "It's a spell I learned. Not from my parents, from someone I hardly remember. It blisses you out completely. It's dangerous and somewhat harmful, but it feels amazing."

Thor scoffed. "Did I really drive you so far as to try to poison yourself?"

"It wasn't you, it was Alasdair," Kaipo grumbled, pausing when he realized his words, catching the way Thor's eyes darted from the page to his face, "I don't mean it like that, we weren't in that kind of a relationship."

"I find that hard to believe," Thor admitted; he wasn't upset, simply stating his thoughts, and Kaipo couldn't find it in himself to pick a fight, especially with his head aching.

"I swear," he sighed, "You don't understand what it's like to have someone by your side for so long with a promise to always be by each other's side, to protect and defend and love each other, to have them ripped from you, it's agonizing."

Thor stood then, setting the book aside as he walked to his side of the bed, carefully climbing inside after Kaipo made no move to tell him off, wrapping an arm around him, sighing heavily, shaking his head and pressing his face against his shoulder.

Kaipo settled against his touch, craving any feeling, his heart aching and screaming, unable to hide his loneliness and pain any more than Thor had been able to, listening to the god as he breathed heavily, holding him close, as if he was going to disappear.

"You don't know what it's like to lose him twice."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

( 07.13.18 )

Hi, yeah, so I don't know what this chapter was, but I'm proud of it, so we're keeping it, because this is like a lead into to a lot of stuff happening in succession and you can see the shift in their relationship and it's just really interesting ya'll.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!