Alex and I managed to secure rooms for ourselves and the twins, then headed back to the cars to grab an overnight bag for the four of us. As I held the car door to close it, I reached back in for a book for Alfie.

"For one night?" said Alex.
"To be realistic, I should probably take two," I joked.
"Have you initiated an apology yet?"
"I... wasn't sure I was the one initiating it."
"Erika."
"What? I'm not going to apologise for his behaviour!"
"No but you can apologise for yours. You yelled at him, didn't you?"
"I didn't yell I just... sternly told him off for almost getting his sister killed."
"Then you apologise for sternly telling him off and he'll apologise for almost getting his sister killed."
"I think you've mismatched your priorities a little there, Alex."

Alex chuckled but then his face fell, a sigh expelling from his lips. "Both sides need to be willing to apologise for this to work. You're both stubborn. One of you needs to be the bigger person."
I tutted. "Fine."

"It'll be for the best," he said, a sadness twinkling in his eyes. "Trust me."

Once settled into our rooms, I made the decision to apologise to Alfie. Even if I was reluctant to do so, we had to make amends before I left with the other hunters. Diana left them in my charge; they needed an example to be set for them and I couldn't do that if my own stubbornness kept me from talking to them.

Florence said she was taking the boys back to the assembly hall for some food, so that was where I expected them to be. When I opened the door, however, ready to go grab Alex from next door and take him with me, Alfie was standing with his fist raised, ready to knock.

"Hi, Alf," I said. "Everything okay? I was just coming to find you all."
"Florence said I should speak to you," he replied, his voice quiet. "She told me why you were angry — I get it — and said I should speak to you."
Florence could see the problem, at least. It surprised me, considering how little she apologised to her own brother but maybe even she knew how grave the situation was tomorrow. "I was actually coming to talk to you as well."
"I'm sorry for what happened to Flo. Really, I am. I don't know why I froze up but I did and... and I don't know how to fix it I just—" He wiped his glasses as his breathing grew shallow. "I can't stop freezing when I'm afraid. Why does that happen?"

The guilt for ever being angry at him knocked me sick. He tried — he really, really did — and I knew in my heart he could do no more than what the anxiety in him allowed, but dad's stern words he said to me as a child rang strong.

Hunters can't be afraid.

Slowly, I shook my head. "I don't know, Alf. But if this is who you are, I can't be angry at you. It's not fair and I'm sorry."
"It is who I am. But maybe I can change it. I can, can't I? Anyone can change, right?"
I wasn't sure. "I suppose," I said with a shrug.
"I can't promise when, but I will. I'll stop freezing up, stop being afraid. I don't know how but I'll try. I will."

Ever since I took the twins with me on this hunt, I had compared the two. They were polar opposites, the two of them. Alfie was smart, Florence more ignorant; she was stronger, he was weaker. I had been harder on Alfie for his physical weakness compared to his sister, when I should have valued his strengths even more. He discovered the haunting at the hotel, he solved it off his own volition and it was him that braved a battle of wits with The Collector. Physically weak or not, he was an asset to our group while I had treated him like a burden. Diana left him in my care and I was a poor excuse for a teacher for expecting them to be perfect right away.

"I know you will," I replied. "You've given me your word and I believe you."

He smiled; a rare sight for him. And he raised his arms slightly, angling them towards my shoulders, then changed his mind. "Should we go meet the others?" he said instead. "I didn't eat anything earlier and I'm quite hungry."
I smiled back, understanding. "Me too."

As we made our way out to knock on Alex's door, he said, "You're leaving Florence and I behind tomorrow, aren't you?"
"It's only because—"
"It's for safety, I know. And I understand."
I sighed in relief. "Thank you. Don't tell your sister yet, she'll—"
"Freak out and demand to go?"
"Exactly."
He snorted. "Fine, you tell her when you're ready. Have fun with that."

With a little laugh and a new understanding, the two of us headed for the assembly hall, grabbing Alex on our way there. I gave him a nod as he looked between myself and Alfie, telling him our fight was over and, no matter what would happen the next day, we would have parted from each other on good terms.

***

Alex grew silent as the four of us ate our dinner. He skipped along as we made our way down the corridors to find some food, growing happy as he learned Alfie and myself had perked up from earlier, but as ourselves and others around us began talking of the journey we would make the next day, his solemness settled in, and he ate his beef stew without a single comment.

"Nathaniel's in his room," said Florence, snapping me out of my thoughts. "He was feeling sick."
I swallowed a mouthful of salted stew. "He's probably nervous," I replied. "He's not a proper hunter, remember. He just wants to find his dad."
"Maybe Flo can go keep him company," replied Alfie with a grin. Florence elbowed her brother, who dropped his spoon. It splashed in the gravy, hitting him in the chin and sloshing on the table. I snorted into my glass of iced water while Alex finally let out a laugh.

Alfie sighed and dabbed his chin with a napkin. "That was uncalled for."
"It was provoked," she replied. "Now we've got beef."
"So has the table," Alex replied. "Look at the mess."

He took Alfie's napkin and wiped up the wooden bench.
When I swallowed my water I admitted, "It's like having kids. I don't know how Diana's done it."
"Does it," corrected Florence. "There's still Ollie."

I nodded and glanced down at my stew, forcing an agreeing smile. I sometimes forgot how much time Ollie spent at his aunt's house; it was much more than what he spent with his own father and sister, at least. I promised the boy I'd take care of him, but Diana had taken that job on better than I had.

"That's just while Erika and Chris are working, isn't it? It can't be for that long," said Alex.

He didn't have siblings. He couldn't understand it. Dad said it was for his own protection and if I could have avoided it, I would have.

"Ollie lives with us," Alfie explained. "Erika and uncle Chris are always working."
"But..." Alex frowned. "Where do you live?" He was looking at me, awaiting an answer. I shrugged.
"Diana's. Though, I spend most of my time travelling."
"You... you don't have a home?"

He didn't ask if I had a house or a place to stay — he asked if I had a home. "I guess not."

My home was at the old, two-storey, detached house in a residential town half an hour away from Diana's; the home I shared with dad and mum. I was only young when we left but I remembered it vividly: it's wooden fence that dad built himself, the long front lawn mum used to cut every weekend in the summer, the carpeted stairs I stained when I dropped spaghetti on it. It wasn't the most expensive or beautiful house, but it was the last place I felt like I truly belonged to.

I checked the time on my phone. It was late now — after ten — and, even though I often stayed up later, I needed the rest. So did the others.

"We should turn in," I suggested. "Tomorrow's going to be hectic."
"Good idea," said Alex. "But don't you have something to say?"

I almost forgot. Alfie nodded as he understood what I needed to tell Florence, who frowned.

"Am I the only one that doesn't know what's going on?"
"Florence." I stopped, trying to find the words. I didn't want her to think I was punishing her by leaving them at the Watch but she had to know why I was doing that. "We don't know what to expect from tomorrow."
She nodded. "Okay."
"All we know is that it's going to be dangerous. And, with you being injured, I don't think it's a good idea if the two of you come with Alex and me to Bekker's."
"But—!"
"Florence," Alfie warned. "She's right."

She sighed, wincing at the pain of her burn. "Will you two be okay?"
"Don't worry about us," Alex assured. "We'll look out for each other. We'll be fine."
I smiled at that then turned back to Florence, squeezing her hand. "I'll tell your mum that I've left you at the Watch. When this is over, me... or Diana will come here to get you."
She nodded. "Okay."

I stood up with Alex. "Are you two going to bed?" I asked them.
They shook their heads. "We're not that tired," said Alfie. "We're going to have a look around for a bit since we're not up early tomorrow."
I had forgotten it was their first time at Oblivion's Watch. When I first arrived, I spent a whole day just wandering around the different rooms and exploring whatever I could — it was how I met Pete. "Alright," I replied. "Just don't make it too late."
"And watch out for Trainer Lucian. He might make you do twenty laps around the perimeter just for having the last name 'Mullein'," Alex said with a laugh. I snorted as the twins shared an anxious glance with one another, and Alex and I left with a warning 'goodnight.'

"Do you think they believed that?" said Alex as we walked down the corridor.
"Oh, definitely. Did you see Florence's face?"
"That girl really doesn't like cardio."
I laughed. "She would give anything to avoid doing it."

We strolled down the corridor, admiring the walls, lights, and paintings that had vividly stuck in my memory.

"Did you ever have Trainer Lucian?"
I forced a laugh. "Oh, yes. The man hates my dad with a passion."
"Really?"
"And that's why dad chose to send me to him for training."
"He..." Alex blinked. "He sent you to train with someone that hates him?"
"He said if I could prove to him that the Lupine name was worth something, I could prove it to anyone."
"And what happened?"
I shrugged. "Don't want to brag, but I passed my trials with flying colours."
"Ooh, of course she did!"

I grinned proudly as we made it back to my room.

"This is me," I said, pulling out the key. "I suppose I'll see you in the morning."
"Sure." The remnants of a smile still stuck to his lips. "I'll see you later."

I smiled a goodbye. As I closed the door, he called back.

"Erika." He spun around, almost tripping over.
I opened the door again, quicker than I anticipated. "Yes?"
He opened his mouth, closed it, then waved. "Goodnight."
I lowered my brows but widened my smile. "Goodnight."

I waited for him to walk away before closing the door again, anticipating him turning around but he never did. I was almost disappointed.

All night he had behaved strangely. Bouts of silence lingered ever since the meeting, and dinner had been an awkward ordeal until the absent-minded twins managed to make him laugh.

It was as if he wanted to say something, but somehow the words never found him.

Hey guys,
It's been a while since an update, but here it is! With uni taking control of my life at the minute (oh, the joy of it) writing multiple WIP's has proved difficult but, as Amongst the Order is nearing its end and the pace is soon to quicken, I'm hoping to round off the next few chapters over the Christmas break.

Thank you for your support,
— Caitlin xx