I wake up in a huge bed in an even huger room. After rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I leave the comfortable bed to get a little overview of where I am. What happened? I only remember the smile of that dude. The smile before darkness.

All of that is nonsense. I don't belong in here, that's for sure. Into that princess like room with light pink walls and white furniture. I mean, who buys white furniture? I would have it dark and plastered with stains after one week. Wouldn't it be better to buy black ones in the beginning, then?

Well, this room stands for everything I ever hated: Wealth, pink, girlie stuff, princesses... Should I go on? Little spoiler, the list would explode with words. I mean, who defined that I should like all of that stuff just because of my sex? Some random gray dudes some decades ago. But that's over run now. We still haven't gender equality, unfortunately we are far away from that, but things are changing. Slowly, but steadily, at least I hope so. This room here would throw all that effort out of the window and onto a garbage dig. And kidnapping? I thought at least that isn't existing anymore. Maybe in some random books or movies, but in real life? Never. Well, seems like I will experience otherwise now. How great, really, I always wanted to be a part of that. A dream come true.

A knocking on the rustic pink door of my room makes me flinch. Throughout the years, I learned to be always present and focus even on the little things. Even with blood running over my eyes, I could estimate where Harry was standing, just via hearing. I mean, I am not proud of this ability, I'd give it back at all costs for not experiencing what I had to the past years.

Some would warn to be careful what you wish for. That it is your scars and mistakes, your dark sides and downfalls that define you. Well, but fuck that. Because all that defines a person I no longer want to be. Someone weak, limited to their past. I don't want to seek anything out of what they did, I just want to travel back in time to make it un happen. To save my little smiling carefree self from all that shit. Well, but maybe I would just kill my younger self instead, you know, it depends. Both ways, this shit with Harry wouldn't have happened. And with option two, I would have been saved from this as well. I would just sleep, without having the duty to face all this.

But now, I have to live. It is too late to die, at least I couldn't do it myself. I don't know exactly what is stopping me, what is keeping me here, whether it is my dad or the selfish wish of revenge that grows inside me like a devilish beast. Maybe a combination of both.

Well, that is the reason I am here. The reason I am not yet under the earth. The reason I am here, being kidnapped by a random guy. That is at least all I know so far. Seems like I am a magnet to guys wanting to abuse women to feel better themselves. But in the end of the day, they are the weak ones. The ones holding the knifes have the biggest fear, the deepest anxiety. Which makes them the ones to be feared. They feel insecure and want to escape that badly by having the control for once. And then they become addicted. Addicted to that small fading power. And innocent people like me are the prey.

Some would assume I would be anxious by now. Afraid for my dear life. Maybe even in tears.

Well, I am not, thanks to my mentor Harry. He trained me in that, not that I volunteered, but well, maybe he just wanted to do me a favor. Surely, that were his own intentions. To make his prey strong. What a paradox.

But what is the intention of the guy who kidnapped me? Everyone has intentions, trying to make the best out of a situation for oneself, not caring about the others, abusing them for their own means even. But finding out about the motives of peoples, well that is god damn complicated. People hide the reasons behind their actions, what makes them just more dangerous.

But back to that dude, since he is all I know so far I have to stick with that. I am definitely not ready to look him in the eye again. Those eyes, terrifically far away and near all the same, so perilous and full of death, but again full of life. They are a mix of contradictions , and weirdly can't let me go.. I mean in the end of the day they are fucking eyes, just made to see, thus how can I just while thinking about them find tons of adjectives to describe them. Isn't that odd?

But to be bloody honest, I am not quite ready to handle this whole situation. Life hasn't prepared me for that stuff yet, not even with Harry on my side almost 24/7. He would at least let me go after our sessions, well the seldom times I was still able to properly walk. The others, I would just sleep on the streets, waiting for the aching to stop.

And school didn't prepare me either. What a surprise. Even doing my homework with sick ambition would not have rescued me, see that dad? Oh gosh, my dad. I have to see him again, as soon as possible.

Oh fuck, the knocking. From like fucking ten minutes ago. How could I have forgotten it? Seems like it's time for improvisation. Should I mention me improvising is a disaster? Maybe not. We are all passionate toxic optimists around here, aren't we?

"Come in.", I cheer, my voice seeming different, like the one of an actress. And maybe that's what I am now. An actress playing her role. And I just have to find out about the role I wanna play. Those idiots will regret this whole thing, earlier or later. I will ensure that.

The door is opened under a soft creak and a tiny old lady is visible in the door frame. She is wearing a smooth grey dress and her face is interspersed with little wrinkles. Her lips are pressed to a welcoming smile, which doesn't really reach her eyes, giving me the feeling she doesn't really like me too much. Well, ditto.

"Welcome Nora, would you change and follow me downstairs?", she announces, her voice cold and distant. I expected it to be warmer, brighter. But I am not that familiar with people anyway. It's not like that I would usually interact with them, there was always just my dad and Harry, so well, my knowledge concerning humans is not yet excellent. I'd probably not even notice a murder or a serial killer. I mean, what if that woman actually is a killer? I know basically nothing about her.

„Uhm, you are? And I'm pretty happy with my fit. ", I explain to that lady, my fingers moving along my comfortable hoodie and joggers.

How dare she to tell me what to wear?

"I'm Miss Hemsford and that's enough of an answer for now. I wouldn't be allowed to tell you anything else anyway. Just go and change. The dress is hanging there.", she is pointing at an expensive-looking long dress in blue. It perfectly fits into this room, but not to me. And it's my body, my choice, right. I can decide what to wear.

"As I already said, I'm keeping those clothes. Then let's go.", I walk to the door, wanting to leave that dress and room. Just kidding, I want to leave that whole house and join my old life again. See my dad.

"We won't go until you're wearing that dress. It's an extra order I can't disobey. They would get angry with me and I don't need that. So, either you change or I'll get punished. You and your conscience decide." She knows she has a point, which leads to an awfully big smile showing on her face.

What the fuck, this is the definition of toxic. And who is even them? Princess obsessed three year old boys with the hang to violence? Seems like a fitting description to me.

"Well, I'm gonna change, then.", I capitalize, murmuring as muffled that I don't know whether she understood me at all.
"Should I support you?", she speculates, seeming concerned about my skills concerning dresses. The skeptic is more than justified, I have never worn a dress in my entire life, as far as I can remember.

But begging for help, no, at no costs. I'm independent. Or was forced to grow up too fast, however you want to put it. Well, and she also should not have to see my skin. I could not handle that right now. The thought alone of anyone touching me is just too much.

"Nah, I'm fine.", I declare, a bit too brightly, but she does not notice because she is staring at my clothes in a disapproving way, which seems to take all her bodies attention. Multitasking pro. I don't mind though. Collecting the dress, which is heavier than I assumed, not that I have any knowledge about dresses, I get over to what seems like a bath room. Its style is exactly like the one in the bigger room, too bright and expensive. In total, this room alone is as big as the kitchen home. Home, I should not think of that if I want to ever get there again.

Sighting, I undress, just to pull the dress over my bare skin.

Okay, just kidding, it isn't that easy unfortunately. While pulling it over my head, I can barely breathe and feel the impulse to just destroy that piece of fabric by ribbing it straight from top to bottom, but then I think about that strict lady. Somehow, I want to prove her I could manage it to wear that dress. I don't know since when I need the approval of random ladies to feel comfortable, but I obviously know that it is not a very good development.

But in the end, all that matters it the fact that I did it, maybe not very swift or smooth, but in the end, I am wearing that dress on the right side and that's all that matters, right?

"Finally", she scans my body with that skeptical look of hers, murmuring, "Not that bad actually."

Thanks, duh. I don't like you either.

„Then let's go.", she points to the door and I willingly follow. I am more than glad to escape that princess room. And it couldn't get worse now, could it?

The lady leads me through long corridors with expensive pictures and deco stuff. They- whoever they are- have money, not something that gives them any plus points. I despise rich people. I mean, they obviously spend all their money for the wrong purposes. They have expensive paintings and a house as big that you can get lost in it and other people die due to starvation. The world is cruel. Human beings are cruel. They are cruel.

"Here we are.", the lady stops at a huge white door with little squiggles, "Good luck, you will need it.", are her last very motivating words, until she leaves me all alone finally.

It can't be that bad, are my thoughts while pushing the door open. Three eyes focus me immediately and every step I do, but I don't care and just sit down on the huge glass table. I am used to too much attention. It's not that I enjoy it, but I can live with it. Deal with it, let's put it that way.

"What a disappointment, not even this goddamn expensive dress makes up for her appearance.", one boy with short brown hair spits, still having his eyes on my body. Yeah, we would be besties. How fitting that I am already used to comments about my physical appearance. Not that I am resistant or immune to them, they caused me for instance my rather unhealthy eating habits, but yeah, I am used to it.

"The fuck. I didn't volunteer to neither wear this ugly ass dress nor to be here at all. Also, it's not my fucking problem if you don't know how to spend your money correctly. This dress, all those random pictures, seriously? I mean, don't you learn to deal with money in primary? Or was it in kindergarten?", I taunt him, staring into his grey eyes.

"She clearly has our temperament.", a black-haired boy detects, smirking weirdly.

What the fuck would that even mean?

"Fuck it, Tristan. Don't you dare compare her with us!", the brown-haired boy shouts. He's an emotional guy, duh. Too similar to Harry.

"Chill down, Arian, she is our sister, of course there are parallels.", the black-haired boy, probably Tristan then, utters.

Okay, great, I just met my lovely brothers. Fuck. Dream came true, really. Brothers that hate me supposedly. No seriously, like what the fuck? How can it be I'm having brothers? I thought I am an only child. My dad, he would have told me. Surely this is some misunderstanding. They've got the wrong person.

"Bad enough we are related to that piece of shit, but she isn't our sister. Will never be. Half-sister is bad enough, really. ", Arian, I guess that's what his name was, shouts through gritted teeth.

Fuck, so no misunderstanding then.

"You know what, I am equally as happy to meet you. Just tell me one thing really quick, if you hate me that much, why am I here?", I quire, being really curious because I just don't get it. Don't you bring as much distance as you can between you and the person you despise? At least I would to that with Harry, if I could. It would have kept me from an immense amount of pain. But I forbid me a long time ago to even think about would's and what if's.

"Just shut up already, no one wants you to talk anyway.", Arian hisses. Seems like he had no answer to my question, then.

"Would you just all shut up for a bit. I told you this was a bad idea in the beginning. But we have to live with it, now that she's here. Do whatever you want, but fucking stop shouting. I already got a bad headache.", the third boy, a rather young one, complains. He holds his head between his arms, maybe that should support his message of headache. I don't know, or care.

"Absolutely not my problem, if you drink all night, Mallory. I got no empathy for that", Arian declares, getting even more pissed.

"Or at all.", Mallory murmurs quietly so I can barely understand him.

"Okay, we all calm down and remember why we are here.", Tristan, the older black-haired boy tries to calm Arian down and keep a rather friendly atmosphere. It stays at trying.

"Yeah, why are we even here? If you hate me, as you obviously do, why can't I just go?", I intervene.

"Fucking keep that shitty mouse of yours shut. Whether you realized or not, your word is worthless in here.", Arian reminds me.

"Whether you realized or not, I don't even want to be here so just let me in fucking peace.", I warn him and leave the table. With a little luck, one door would be open. But of course, it isn't. Luck isn't present in my life once more. In a frustrated attempt, I kick against the door with all my force, but it wouldn't give in.