POV GULF

-- I think so too in fact!! - she tells us a female voice from the door ,while we all jump to his affirmation. Bua gets in before my secretary gets a chance to announce it.

- I'm sorry sir I couldn't stop you- sorry Sammy , my secretary.
-- Don't worry, Sammy, the Lady and I had an appointment. -- I'll explain -- bring us some coffee, please. -- I will conclude while I signal Bua to sit down.

-Thank you Gulf- she answers by sitting down.

- Could you explain to me what you meant earlier ? - I ask him by putting my elbows at the desk.

- Gulf, before I explain what I mean, maybe you should know a truth you don't know. I think your friends have kept the promise they made to me, if you ask me this question. -- she says by turning to Max and Tul.

--You asked us not to tell him because you wanted to be the one to reveal it to him.. - confirms Tul.

--Do you want to explain to me what happens ? -- I ask a little irritated by the situation of understanding between all of them.

Everyone here seems to know everything but me ! Already I find it difficult to stand in front of Bua and not think about the relationship that binds her to Mew, now these secrets that everyone knows but that no one has revealed to me make me restless more than usual.

- Gulf, first of all I wanted to apologize if because of my marriage to Mew, you suffered a lot. -- starts and looks really sorry.

- What was between me and Mew is now in the past ,Bua. He is now happily married to you now, what I have been through or not past remains concerns me. and it is useless to talk about it again. Above all there is no reason why you should apologize to me because anyway it was also my decision. - I say by leaning against the back of the chair.

- True, but I think it still hurts to know that the man you continue to love is happy with a woman. -  concludes.

- All right, but I still don't understand what this has to do with your initial statement-I ask you, resigned.

-Gulf I and Mew are not a married couple in the true sense of the word. - - starts by telling me and after seeing my confusion continues -- we got married just to make happy our parents who, with their pressure were making us crazy! I love him dearly, but I'm not in love with him any more than he is with me. What you saw during the dinner is only the show of affection that binds us, but not of love-- concludes.

--What? -- I ask more and more confused, I know what I saw and Mew's expressions were sincere .

--Gulf I am telling you that Mew has never touched me because he feels neither love nor attraction for me . And that's because, I'm sure, I think you love someone who doesn't remember! Let me explain what has happened since the day of the accident. -- she asks me while I am still trying to process his confession.

--Wait! Are you telling me that you and Mew were never in bed together? -- I ask him brazenly at this point.

-I'm telling you that not only have we not allowed each other, but we don't love each other! -- explodes -- Mew after the accident for a while did not remember anything , only his parents and some friends but nothing of the last years . When I started to take care of his situation I tried to make him feel calm because the return of memory is complex . It is necessary to recreate situations that he has lived , but to do so with extreme caution and total serenity so that his memory re-elaborates the information again ,welcomes it, metabolizes it and associates it with the past. That's why I'm here today. --  concludes Bua.

--Bua I.. -- I don't really know how to deal with this situation.

--Gulf when I decided to marry Mew I already knew her sexual preferences that's why I accepted. I knew I was in a tight spot with him, and I also knew that Mew, before the accident, was madly in love with someone. And that this someone, respecting his condition, stepped back for his own good, knowing of his amnesia. It was only during dinner that I found out that that person was you. Gulf, I believe that Mew continues to love you only that he doesn't remember it ,but we can make him remember it. We want to try at least? -- Bua asks me.

-- What makes you think that Bua? Why are you all convinced? -- I ask him even if I think I already know his answer.

--The fact that upon hearing your name at the party , he began to tremble ! That he couldn't take his eyes off you, and I also think something happened. He was very upset this morning thinking about the party. Did something happen?. -- she asks me directly with a hint of malice.

--NO! - I scream at him but my ears are turning red.

- Almost! - contradicts me Tul.

--Tul! -- I warn him.

--What? He almost kissed you! -- He explodes nervous.

--See? I'm right! He's attracted to you, so he unconsciously knows there's a strong bond between you. -- says-- Why almost? -- she asks Tul.

-Why did Gulf run away! -- he concludes ,making Bua smile too

-- Tul Pakorn, shut your mouth, if you want to keep being my partner! -- Threaten while he and Max take off.

--Gulf, you can't run away from him and your feelings forever, you saw it too. The fact that he is attracted to you, rather than to me being his wife, is driving him crazy, but believe me, he will certainly try to understand why. What I'm asking you is .. let him follow his heart and find his memories with you. I know I'm asking a lot of you. . But we both want him to be happy. -- Bua tells me truthfully.

Having him close ,after two years of abstinence is not torture is suicide! The fact that he is attracted to me does not imply that he decides to go all the way with me and his attraction. He could do a back-to-back on the best and that would hurt me a lot. I already gave up on him once, and I barely made it out, doing it a second time is suicide.

--Gulf , trust me. Mew loves you but you have to give him a chance to regain his memories and with those also his love for you. You can do it! - her convinced.

--What exactly do you have in mind? -- I ask her with my back.

-- Create opportunities for the two of you to spend a lot of time together. That's why I'm here. I want you to hire Mew as a journalist, to work closely with him so that his memories can come back to life. And if you have a way to recreate even some of your past encounters, it might stimulate his memories. -- she tells me.

--Could stimulate even more ,Bua-- I miss out . -- excuse me.. - I hasten to say right after.

--  could, and I hope so! -- She lets herself get away too.

--Bua! And of your husband we are talking! - - I tell him but she starts laughing serenely.

-A husband I don't love and who doesn't love me! If at least he can be happy with his love, believe me I will be too! So? Do you accept that you want to be near him so that he may regain his memory and his love for you? --  asks me serenely.

--Bua I may not be able to control myself in his presence, are you sure that won't cause you any problems? -- I ask him.

--No! Indeed! And then in any case my marriage is only fictitious. It will end anyway! -- she tells me.

--Okay! -- I decide -- Let's do as you say, I agree to hire Mew into my company and have him back in my life , if he wants! I just hope I don't regret it and I don't have to fight your in-laws again! -I mean.

--What do you mean? -- she asks me intrigued now.

--Well, Bua, you've met them too! Mew's parents are very territorial, they've never looked kindly on our love. They have obstructed us in every way and by every means possible. The accident was their miracle to snatch him from me, they saw in his amnesia a way to get him married to a woman who could give them the grandchildren they so look for. They never cared for the happiness of their child. -I say resigned.

-well then for once they made a good choice! Maybe someone else would have satisfied them , I am not going to give birth to a child with a man I do not love and above all they chose well because I will make their son happy by making him return to love the man he loves ! -- Bua says with confidence and I can only smile at his statement.

-Bua, now I understand why Mew loves you so much, you're a good person. - - I tell him while I pick up the phone -- Sammy bring me an empty employment contract.. No, I don't have to do it myself. Thank you! -- I conclude.

POV MEW

- Damn ! My head is bursting! - I say while I take an analgesic and lie down on the couch.

I have to stop trying, there's no way to remember my past with Gulf. I don't know what I've forgotten , but I'm sure it's about him. The attraction that I felt for him can not be a coincidence, since I have a beautiful woman by my side that I am not at all. Why am I attracted to a man? Is it possible that I'm Gay and I don't remember? I have friends who are and their love doesn't bother me! If I tried to let go of this attraction though I could hurt too many people! Bua could be laughed at, Gulf even if things did go wrong. I don't even know if he likes me!

My parents could not accept such a situation! And just thinking about this a flashback runs through my mind.

Start flashback

-- This ends now! - my mother yells at me.

--Stop meddling in my private life! -- I reply just as harshly --Let's get out of here! until they accept that I love a man I don't want to see them anymore! - I say to my partner, as I grab his hand and leave my parents' house furious.

End of flashback

I jump on, surprised by the memory that has just come back to mind still holding my head, still too sore. I love a man , so! Or rather it was in my past that I forgot! Who was that person? and why didn't he show up after my accident? And what do my parents have to do with this? Why is this memory resurfacing right now?

Too many unanswered questions and this headache that I can't calm down is killing me! Damn it!

POV BUA

I finally got Gulf thinking that he agreed to hire Mew so that his proximity would help him remember their love. That's why I even invited him to dinner tonight and he agreed.

- Pon, please take me home. - I'll tell him while he lets Gulf help me get in the car. - Gulf gets in the car too if you want to go home. - I'll tell him right before we go in.

-- Safe Bua? -- asks me doubtful while looking at my driver.

--I will do it with great pleasure! It is my job to fulfill my lady's orders -she says as he also enters and sets in motion.

In the end he is convinced and we make the journey together, I must admit that Gulf is very nice.

When I got home ,Pon opened the door for me. Going down I put my foot wrong and if he hadn't grabbed me while I was alive I would definitely have fallen to the ground.

- Thank you. --- I whisper as a shiver climbs up my back.

- Please. - He whispers and clears his throat.

I'm attracted to my driver, damn it! He stares at my lips and then lets me go confused. Well, well then I'm not indifferent to him then either!

I walk towards the entrance with a Gulf who witnessed the scene and with a smile on his face he shakes his head.

--Someone is in serious trouble.. -Whisper to me as we enter the house.

-- Mew, I'm back ! I invited Gul... MEW to dinner! - I scream as soon as I see him on the ground near the sofa.

-- Mew! -- Gulf runs to help me turn him around and meanwhile Pon comes running ,hearing our screams. -Mew?! Bua him fire! -- Gulf tells me frightened.

I turn around and I see the painkillers on the table that she takes for her headache.

-- Gulf has taken a strong analgesic that's why it is so. Pon please help Gulf, we have to take it to the room ! - I ask him as I go before them in our bedroom.

--Bua we need to get his fever down! -- Gulf tells me as they lay him on the bed.

-Gulf, can you take off Mew's T-shirts while I make your water tray? -- I say ,noticing the surprised look of Pon -- Do you help me carry it? -I ask the latter.

-Yes, Mrs. -.

- Before you ask me if I am crazy ,you must know that those two love each other. -I tell him while I grab the basin and fill it. - And no, I am not against it! My marriage is not a marriage of love. - I explain to him, without even knowing why I do it.

I didn't want to justify it, but I felt the need to be honest with him, but what's upsetting is that I'm not one to talk about my life with anyone. Why can't I control my tongue with him?

- You don't have to explain yourself, Madam.

- I know, but I don't want to be insensitive.. - I justify myself to him by turning off the water.

POV GULF

--Mew? Hey.. - I call him stroking his hair --you're a big head do you know? You'll kill me one day! -I'll tell him while I put my forehead on his.

- - Gulf.. - Bua calls me and I move away from him.

Damn it, I got caught and that makes me blush terribly.

--Gulf, I know I invited you to dinner, but. -. - She's embarrassed to tell me.

--Don't worry Bua, I'll be back another night. If your driver tells me. -- I'll start but Bua interrupts me immediately.

- No, I really wanted to ask you if you want to stay here! And take care of him -- he asks me, and I'm in shock.

--What? -- Let's say me and Pon together ,shocked by your request.

--Bua, how can you ask me that? -- I say-I shouldn't be in your house already, now you're asking me to take care of Mew for you? -- I conclude again confused.

--Pon, please put the basin with the water here and wait for me in the living room. - Bua asks.

He follows orders and then disappears closing the door behind, then Bua approaches me and grabbing my arm catches my attention.

-Gulf, who better to take care of him tonight than you? Don't worry about me, I'll sleep in the guest room. Mew may need human warmth, and that's something only you can give him. -- explains to me as he passes me the cloth for the wraps -- Come on! I'm sure he'll be better in the morning, his pajamas are under the pillow- she says to me going out too, closing the door behind him.

This woman always manages to surprise me, I think as I approach Mew, who at this moment is in the fetal position . I put the cloth in the water while I try to turn it, I have to take off his shirt in order to pass the wet cloth .

As soon as I start to unbutton it he blocks my hand and opening his eyes whispers my name.

--Gulf.. why am I so attracted to you? -- he asks me deliriously.

--Mew .. I have to get your fever down, please ,let me take your shirt off. - I ask him to try to get my hand free. Which I can do, as well as open his shirt.

-I'm cold. -He whispers while I take it off.

--Hold on. I'll try to do it quickly. -- But it's easier said than done

I haven't touched his body in two years! And my self-control has been strained, but I can't give in, not with Mew in this state!

I grab the wet cloth, after having squeezed it I pass it over its neck, on its forehead , again on the neck and then I start to come down . I don't even know for how long I do this action but as soon as I see him trembling strongly I start wearing his pajamas . Just as I was closing it, someone knocks slowly and the door opens.

--Gulf, I brought you something to eat before you go to bed. -- He tells me while I was covering Mew with a blanket.

--Thank you, are you sure you want me to stay here and sleep? -- I ask him more and more embarrassed about the situation.

--Yes, Gulf. I'm going to rest now, too, if you need me, I'll be in the next room, okay? In the top drawer of the cabinet you will find a pajamas that you can wear for the night, if you believe ,goodnight Gulf! Take care of Mew! -- ends with a smile.

She goes out and after taking a bite of dinner I'll settle down for the night. I slip slowly into the sheets and turn to my side and start touching his forehead. The fever seemed to still be there, and it was also high, in fact he grabs my fresh hand and holds it on one cheek. With the other I move the tufts that have fallen into his forehead gently stroking him.

--Gulf.. -- whispers, making me jump.

He is delirious but hearing me call excites me , because despite everything he is me he is looking for. Though I don't remember ,he is calling me into the delirium of fever.

In fact he moves towards me and holding me alive , he attracts me to himself in a very intimate embrace and I can do nothing but support him. I stand on my back and take it in my arms, where he lies down putting his face in the recess of my neck.

This perfume, I cannot forget, is always the same. I touch his forehead with a kiss and I hold him even stronger. I know it's selfish, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to hold it so tight again, even without doing anything else, so I enjoy every single moment holding it so close to me.

He is not of the same opinion as me instead, he starts to give me kisses on the neck that make me shudder, while he sticks his hand under the shirt of my pajamas brushing my belly.

I can't let him do this, he's in a frenzy and he doesn't know what he's doing, so with extreme control I grab his hand and pull it out from under the shirt and hold it together with my chest.

-Mew, stop provoking me- I'll whisper in his ear.

He opens his eyes, which he finds difficult to keep open because of the fever and grabbing my neck he leans out to give me a kiss that I can not avoid because of the rapidity he nevertheless had in doing so.