POV BUA

--Enough! even now, that I am a married woman I can not get my parents away from my personal life! -- opening the door to the bedroom.

Room I share with Mew, maybe I should start calling him my 'husband'. Something that I still find difficult to do, since we have been married for a few months and ours is not a marriage of love but only of business.

-What happened Bua -- Mew asks me, looking up from his laptop.
Mew spent half his time working from home after the accident.

-It happens that my parents start stressing me out again, this time to have a grandson! - I explode nervously -- as if I were a machine that you just program and she obeys! No! but this time they can forget it! Forgive me, Mew, but I'm not going to sleep with you to satisfy my parents' needs! -- I say throwing a bag and jacket on the sofa at the foot of the bed.
Marrying a man I don't love was the last sacrifice I was willing to make for my parents.

--Hey, calm down! Come here. - He tells me pointing to the bed, and I approach and sit in front of him.

Mew is a dear boy and I only agreed to marry him because I know,that with him I'm safe as far as marital duties are concerned. We met two years ago ,after a very bad accident and since then Mew suffers from Retrograde Amnesia , he remembers nothing of his last years while the memories of his childhood there.

For some reason, he doesn't just remember the last two years, and I treated him before our families pushed us to get married. Mew does not remember him but I know some things about his past and I will try, in this year of marriage that we have stipulated to be together, to help him recover this time span that is missing from his memories.

Unfortunately this disease must be dealt with without haste and without forcing, memories will only surface with time and with the right inputs, and I will make sure that this happens. Mew doesn't know but , from what I've discovered, he was in love with a guy during the time he had the accident, but for some reason unknown to me, the latter preferred not to come forward with him after it.

According to my sources the grieving boy didn't want to upset Mew's state even more, because he didn't even remember it, and in hindsight I think it was the right choice. But we all know that the heart is not commanded, in fact Mew is aware of having to remember someone but as much as you try not to do so, that's why he never touched me with a finger, if not to keep up this farce.

But let's talk about joined hands, interlaced fingers and some moulded kisses in the presence of family or important dinners. But fortunately neither I nor he feel attraction for the other , because he is gay , even if he does not remember it, I because him isn't my type. For God's sake he's a nice man but not the kind I want, because he's kind and caring, and I like the impetuous and passionate types. But the respect and the good we want helps us to keep the staging on its feet.

--Mew my parents will make me crazy! please talk to them or make something up! - I ask him.

-All right, I'll talk to them tomorrow, okay? Calm down. Have a nice shower, get ready for dinner at Bright's tonight. I haven't been able to refuse for days. He wants to introduce me to his partner and at the same time they want to meet my beautiful wife! -- he says by touching my cheek with his index finger.

--Ok I'm going to get ready, but what dinner is it? just to figure out what to wear ,I certainly don't want to make my hubby-I say smiling.

- Informal, just a few old friends, I hope I can remember the others -- He says, getting dark.

-- Mew ,we have already talked about this, it will take time but soon you will regain your memory. -I would say to him, touching his shoulder with a caress.

--I hope so.. -- He says in a whisper -- ah! I was going to forget, from tomorrow you will have a new driver, as yours too have become heavy and they asked me , or rather imposed, to hire you one. -- he tells me to get up to finish getting ready.
-- Our parents will drive us crazy ! -- I scream at him as I enter the bathroom.

A few hours later

POV MEW
--Hello Bright.. -- I greet him as soon as he opens the door.

Bright along with others have been my pillar with the past, since they are the only things I remember.

-- Mew ,friend finally! -- I thought you regretted it! -- he says hugging me.
- I apologize, I think it's my fault. - says ,embarrassed Bua behind me.
- Bright, let me introduce you to Bua, my wife!. - I'll introduce her to her as I hug her, putting my hand on her back.
-- My pleasure, I hope we will have the opportunity to chat a lot tonight, Mew and I have been friends for a long time! But please come in ! -Bright tells him quietly, even though I felt a hint of acidity in his tone, I hope it's my impression.

--Thank you, I hope you didn't invite half the world. -- I ask him, because I know him. He's been hassling me for months with this dinner, with the hope that I'll meet all our friends again.
- No, we'll be eight, I only invited people who are important to you, or at least they were- he tells me by patting me on the shoulder.

Apart from Bright at the moment I can only remember Tul and Mild as my friends , so I hope not to feel uncomfortable.

We enter the living room , hand in hand with Bua, where almost everyone was present. Since I had the accident I have kept away from such dinners , I don't feel ready to be embarrassed not to recognize my friends. I'm tense and Bua knows it , in fact, he shakes my hand and with the other he grabs my arm.

--It'll be all right.. - She whispers in my ear.
--Mew welcome! -- Tul greets me, looking sad at my hand held in that of Bua.
-- Tul! -- I call him heading towards him to embrace him.
-- Hello friend.. -- He answers by squeezing me.
- Do you remember me ? -- the little guy asks me.
- TeeMild even amnesia has taken away my memory of you! Come here. - I say hugging him while he is moved.

-- Mew this is Max, my partner.. -- says Tul hoping that I would remember.

- Forgive me ,but I don't remember ! -- I ask him to forgive me.

-- I know ! -- he tells me -- we hadn't known each other for a long time , so I understand, don't worry -- he concludes by shaking my hand.
- You guys are Bua, my wife. - I say as I put my arm on her shoulders.
She was greeted by all but I did not miss their look, again bewildered, as soon as I hugged my wife. It's natural for me to act like this, since we're supposed to be married, but in their eyes it seems like I'm committing a sin.

--Hello, everybody.. -- says Bua as they ring the bell.
--Sit down while the others arrive, I'll open.. -- says the landlord.
- So, how are you now? -- Tul asks me sincerely worried.
- Well I can slowly catch up but the road is long. - I say taking Bua's hand between my fingers crossing. I look at her as I recharge my spirit, Since I feel under observation, she is the only one who understands me. He's shaking my hand.

- Come on! You'll see that things will get better.. - - He tells me by buying me a drink, a beer.

-- Hello everyone! -- says the little man who has entered Bright's hand.

-- Hello brat! -- the climb Tul getting a slap from Max , stealing a smile.

Those two are very funny together and see my friend being beaten up like that , can only make me smile. I can feel their bond even from these small things, like a smile , a joke, a constant brushing and on the one hand the thing softens me a lot, but on the other it strangely upsets me. I will never have that connection with Bua, even if I love him a good soul, their bond is marked by the love they feel for each other, which is missing a priori in my marriage.

-- Call it that again and I'll kick you out. -- Bright puts his finger on it.
-- Bright, leave him alone ! he's just jealous of me . -- he says with a big mouth to Tul.
-- Mew ,Bua he is Win my boyfriend! -- he says proud .
-- Our pleasure! -- we answer, getting up to shake his hand.
- So, we wait for the latecomer and start dinner, okay? -- says Brigth.
--Has anyone heard from him? Maybe he doesn't feel like it.. -Tul starts but Mild stops him, as you're about to reveal who knows what secret.
- No, he'll come! he promised me! -- says Bright, silencing Tul with his eyes.

I don't know why, but this last exchange of jokes got me all worked up. Their talk in code alerted my senses and, why is the presence of this last person so important that there is?
-- Who are we waiting for? -- I ask, then, after a silence full of looks at each other .
-- Gulf . -- Says Mild dry, as if he was afraid to say that name.

My heart loses a beat but I cannot understand the reason because I do not know any Gulf, I have no memory at least. But then why do I now feel the agitation growing and I feel a weight on me at the same time? Who is this person to me, who even in his absence managed to upset me?

--Mew is all right? -- Bua asks me in the ear-- your hand trembles- he concludes.
I look down and actually my hand is shaking. Meanwhile, I hide it next to it, between our bodies.
I approach his neck but not to give him a kiss, as it might seem to others, but to respond to it without others listening.
- I don't know, my body is reacting on its own! - I whisper to him.

POV GULF

Mew Suppasit, the man I never stopped loving, is behind this door in the company of our friends but also of his wife. Since the accident two years ago, I haven't seen him since, until a few months ago, the day he got married. I was happy that he survived that horrible accident that could have cost him his life. Even though I lost him that day as a man, but I didn't care! It was more important to me that he was alive.

After his awakening he remembered nothing of his last two years and as a result ,he did not even remember me, he had forgotten our love and our short coexistence . I hoped that in time he would regain his memory and that he would return to me but, it never happened, indeed!

Then when, Mild told me that he was going to marry his therapist, I thought maybe it was meant to end like this, I thought he was happy. In fact, Mild had shown me some photos of their wedding, where that smile that I loved so much, was addressed to the beautiful woman at her side. Everyone reproached me for not fighting for our love, but basically there was no fighting! I would only have complicated Mew's psychophysical state more, revealing our love. She didn't remember me and I didn't want to fight her rejection too! Bua, this is his name, seemed like a good person and also very sweet , I'm sure he will take care of him.

I am very tempted to give up everyone and to run away from here, because the pain of having lost it is still strong , and seeing him in the company of his wife will surely make me even more, hurt. I don't deserve this torture, but if I leave, Bright will never forgive me. He , together with the others, are convinced that seeing me he can remember his past and therefore me too, but I doubt it.

In this last year ,our friends have tried many times to make me meet new guys but for me there is no chance to be happy after Mew!

I take all the courage I have and I ring the bell, in the hope of not prolonging the meeting with Mew for long. My plan tonight is to go in, have dinner, and get out of here right away, and that's as far away from the newlyweds as possible.

I feel the steps approaching the door and then I print one of my best smiles and turn to the landlord that I think is about to open.

The smile dies at the very moment when it is not Bright who opens it, but Mew.

-- Mew! -- I whisper without control of my emotions and with my eyes foggy.

--Hello Gulf! -- he tells me with a smile, the same one that made me fall in love with him.

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Surprise!!

Here is the first chapter of "Amnesia of you". Obviously, as always, I look forward to hearing and listening to all your first impressions with this new project!! Good reading!