a/n: so basically . . . this book is a fictional book INSIDE a fictional book. can u believe that :3

p.s thank u so much for making it this far!!! i hope you are enjoying. pls leave comments, i'd love to hear your thoughts!

Last Chapter

___

THE TOWN SPOKE of her name until it died away, vanishing through the wind, through the dark alleys of Ashmore, until nobody spoke of it again.

Her name on my book was Amethyst Cambray, but in real life, the girl I kept, I cared for, and I loved really, really deeply . . . is named Sabrina.

Her name was Sabrina Vien. She was the girl I saw on the shoreline, with her long, brown hair on the wind, her eyes sparkling in tears. The girl who I kissed on the sea side . . . three years ago, rewritten again on this book. Natapos ang kwento na sinulat ko doon mismo.

Napatawa ako habang nagbabasa ng tweets ng ilan kong readers sa Tweeter. I read a post that fully caught my attention, and it is a theory about the novel.

ok so i enjoyed this book so
much. it isn't as thrilling

and as mysterious like i expected though, but i think it is alright.

so let me state this theory. that Mavin Adams, HAD ALWAYS KNOWN that Amethyst Cambray MURDERED her family and Hannah Fuller. he'd known and had the suspicion from the start (because he wonders why she was still alive, the reason behind her bruises). remember when he said he'd always suspected Tanya of being the mistress, but was always afraid because it may be the truth? it was kinda like that.

Amethyst Cambray is like, a big break on his life. she was the color, and even if he says he doesn't like that Amethyst is in his house, he definitely does. he loved that Amethyst relied on him, and that Amethyst lived with him, depended on him. and he fell in love with her.

AND do u guys remember this scene:

"Do you believe Oliver?"

"No," I lied.

THAT'S WHAT MAVIN EXACTLY SAID.

HE LIED, meaning, that deep inside him, he knows that Oliver may be saying the truth, that Amethyst murdered her own family and Hannah Fuller. it was the truth that Mavin Adams had always ignored, in fear of losing somebody again.

I stared at the post longer than I meant to. I liked the post and closed the laptop, thinking I've had enough internet today.

Tomorrow would be the high school alumni. Frans, Jasmine and I are going together. Kakatawag nga lang sa akin ni Jas kanina at pinapahanda na sa akin ang mga gamit ko. I bet she'd nagged on Frans, too. Habang nakahiga sa kama, I smiled at the thought that I've written them as accurately as I can. Jasmine as Cinna being sweet and a little strict; Frans as Pierre being a smarty-pants behind his goofy ass.

To be honest, it was hard writing down Sabrina. She was . . . complex. Writing down her dialogues, her mannerisms, her favorite things, those are easy to write down because I remember them as clear as day.

But writing how she looked like, how she looked at me, or how she smiled when her meals taste good — those were hard. Specially writing down the scenes where we were on the beach.

I sighed.

I wrote that book maybe because somehow, I am wishing she'd pass by a bookstore and see my name written across the book. And when she opened the book and read the very first sentence, she would already know that the book is dedicated solely for her.

—

AFTER ENCOUNTERING SABRINA on the seaside three years ago, I immediately went home, deciding I'll leave the town with Frans. While we were on the train and as Frans slept all through the ride, I just did nothing but read Amethyst's letter for me. You'd think I probably kept myself from crying because I was on a public place, but reading her letter, my tears betrayed me and they all escaped my fucking eyes.

I decided to read it because right there, I knew it was goodbye.

Now, I'm driving the car as Jas and Frans talks about fictional character I can't care less about. Nagtatawanan sila parehas nang biglang mapatingin sa akin saka tumigil.

"Oy, kapag naaalala ko talaga na bumisita 'yung pulis sa bahay n'yo, natatawa ako," Frans said, laughing. I just rolled my eyes.

Amethyst Died That Saturday, which was the book I've written, reached Sabrina's relatives. The police went to my house and I told them everything is fictional, and because there are no enough evidences, the police stopped investigating me.

"Stop bringing back bad memories," I said, smirking.

We all laughed. I played the radio and opened the car windows as I drove faster, the wind entering the car.

"Doesn't this remind you guys of something we did back in college?" Jas said, and I looked at her and Frans.

"Hell, yes!" Frans said.

"Except," sabi ko, "you were the one driving."

Jas nodded. "Yeah!"

"We were . . . looking for Sab."

Quiet smiles plastered on our lips, thinking about that day. Loud music. Five hour drive. Damn, that was fun. We were so stupid, but fun.

"Are you sure you didn't see her again, ha?" Jas asked. "I wouldn't know. Hindi mo naman kami pinayagan ni Frans na basahin 'yung book mo, Mik."

"Baliw 'yan si pareng Mikael, e."

I just shook my head and laughed. "Hindi ko na nga siya nakita ulit," sabi ko. "I'm telling the truth," I lied to them.

Frans shrugged. "Malay mo, tinatago niya ulit si Sab sa apartment niya."

"Shut the fuck up," I said and laughed with Jas.

We then arrived in Devitt, the town of "Ashmore" in my book. Everything is still beautifully the same — the peaceful streets, the faint voices of the people walking through, the bells, the car beeps on the roads, the smell of bread from afar, the sound blasting from the nearby music store . . . but what hit me and Jas was seeing the familiar coffee shop in a familiar place a few meters away from where we are.

Opened.

"Oh, God," Jas whispered. "Is that . . ."

Jas and I looked at each other meaningfully, as Frans looked lost. "What?" he said, but we ignored him.

"Agnes . . ." I said to myself. I drove the car, parked it, and the three of us jumped off the car, planning to enter the coffee shop to see whether Agnes was really there.

As we opened the door and the chimes rang, a wave of nostalgia hit me together with the scent of the coffee I used to smell every God given day back in high school. Even Jasmine looked touched as her eyes are brimming with tears.

I saw a woman on the counter, with long, blue and black hair, round earrings on her ears. When she saw me and Jasmine, she just gasped and widened her eyes.

"K-Kayo na ba 'yan?" she said, and slowly walked towards us.

A small little girl ran towards Agnes and hugged her leg. My heart warmed when I saw her.

"Mikael?" Agnes said, her eyes widening.

I smiled at her. "You're looking at him."

She breathed hard and suddenly hugged me real hard. She began to weep.

"Ikaw na bata ka!" she said and released me from the hug. "Nabasa ko ang libro mo!"

"Was it good?" I asked as Agnes embraced Jasmine as well, touching her cheeks, and punching Frans on his arm and hugging him, too. Frans and Agnes knows each other pretty well, somehow.

"I liked my name in there," sabi ni Agnes. "Tanya. Sounds pretty badass."

"I'm so happy you re-opened the shop," sabi ko na lang.

"Maupo kayo," she said. She never would have said this before. She'd say, "sit your asses down, dipshits" but I guess, people just change, though both are better, because she is still Agnes. "Yeah. I re-opened the shop just a year ago."

"It feels so nostalgic," sabi ni Jas. "Oh, dear. Miss Agnes, please allow me to make the coffee!"

Agnes laughed. "Sure, sure!"

Agnes sat beside me as Frans talked to Jasmine, making coffee. Agnes smiled at me as she held my knees.

"You've grown up, boy," Agnes said, tears on her eyes. Ginulo niya ang buhok ko. "I . . . I left the town before because I was really disappointed with myself. I returned when I healed." She smiled wider when I nodded. "I'm actually in an organization right now that aims to support women who are being abused by men or by their parents at home . . . trying to make up for what I haven't done before."

I saw that she's trying not to cry so I just held her hand. "That makes me so proud of you," I said with a chuckle.

She bit her lip while smiling, showing off her right hand with a gleaming ring on her finger. I gasped and laughed. "Wow!" I exclaimed. "I knew it."

"I met someone," sabi niya, pinaglalaruan ang buhok. "He is ten years older and, single!"

Napangiti ako roon. "That's so good for you."

"And that," sabi niya, tinuturo ang isang batang babae na naglalaro sa sahig. "is our first baby. I had to quit smoking for her, sadly. But look at how well she grew up . . ." She sighed deeply and held her tummy. "This is our second."

"Woah, what, really?" I said, my heart jumping in excitement. My smile went up to my ears. "Ninong ako, ah!"

I missed so much about Agnes's life. While everyone else was away, Agnes had found someone who completed her, had married, and had one, lovely daughter, and another baby on the way. She still wore eyeshadows, she still cursed, but unlike before, she looked healthier. Happier, even.

"I'm so much happier now," she said. Nanubig ang mga mata niya at hinawakan ako sa mga kamay ko. "Keep in touch with me, ha?"

She had tortured herself in the thoughts of not choosing to help Sabrina when she had the chance because she was emotionally manipulated by the man who she thought had loved her. I was an idiot for blaming Agnes before, because I just didn't think she was also a victim, like Sabrina is.

The only correct thing that she had done is that she had forgiven herself and chose to create a new life. Sabrina would be proud of her.

We left the coffee shop an hour before the high school alumni started.

"That was so refreshing," Jasmine said with a smile.

"What, the coffee?" Frans asked.

"Hindi!" sagot ni Jas. "Meeting Miss Agnes again."

And she's right. Seeing Agnes again healed scars in me. The scar of losing trust with someone and the scar of losing a friend.

Jasmine said that as we slowly walk towards Devitt High. Napabuntonghininga ako habang nakatingala sa sign kung saan nakasulat ang pangalan ng school.

Napangiti ako saka napangiti rin si Frans. Inakbayan niya kaming dalawa ni Jasmin.

I suddenly remember myself years and years and years ago, standing here for the very first time. Scared. Afraid. Not ready, but determined.

Now . . . just look at me.

I went through it all.

—

THE ALUMNI WAS pretty great. We saw Jaxon, who was Oliver on my book, with his friends at the very back of the room. Jasmin walked towards him and they had a talk. She returned here with a smile on her face, so I immediately knew that everything is already fine between the two of them. Binulong sa akin ni Jasmin na nagpa-rehab si Jaxon at nakapagtapos na ng pag-aaral. She even said he's already engaged with a clinical psychologist, which is great for him.

Nagkaroon ng kainan, ng kantahan, sayawan. We took pictures, had laughed . . . then it all ended with those people who had made significant changes to the school, like the SSG officers, speak speech in front.

They thanked everyone of us for coming. They made us remember our high school memories, the prom I did not attend, the field trips, and the most unforgettable happenings that happened before.

"And let us all remember, again," the SSG former president said, "our batchmate, our friend, our classmate . . ." She smiled at us as her eyes sparkle. "Sabrina Vien."

There was silence. Nakarinig ako ng mahihinang pag-iyak sa kwarto. Apparently, my book really isn't that popular, kaya siguro one percent lang sa mga tao rito ang nakabasa na o nakakaalam ng tungkol sa nasulat ko. Still, I closed my eyes.

"She once brightened up our lives with her beauty, smartness, and smiles." I closed my eyes very tightly. "And she will never, ever, be forgotten."

As my eyes are closed, I recited the poem I wrote for her on my head. Nanatili lang akong nakapikit habang pumapalakpak na ang mga tao sa paligid ko.

Because in my head, for the last time, I'm standing on the shoreline.

Amethyst — no . . . Sabrina would be standing on the shoreline, not a single trace of tears on her face. She's wearing the yellow dress I bought for her. The breeze is playing with her long, brown hair. Her cheeks are rosy, her smile is gentle and blissful.

"Vin," she said. I had a fleeting image of her in my head, sitting on the coffee shop table as her skin is showered by sunlight, her brown eyes dead.

In my head, no — not anymore.

Her eyes are bright, alive, hopeful.

The way they should be.

She would touch my cheek, close her eyes, and smile the prettiest smile that would win all the diamonds in the world.

"I will return, soon."

—