a/n: this is random, but i bet that Pierre and Santi can be best friends lmao. (he's from Her Name is Not Avery) and yes, i just shamelessly promoted.

also, this is gonna be long. pls don't skip anything ;-;

13
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MY MOM IS the best cook I've ever known. When we get unexpected visitors, she's always able to cook something brilliant within an hour. Minsan kahit pritong itlog, parang worth P200 na sa isang restaurant. Even the water on our fridge tastes awesome. She'd always say, the cook and the food should be one; and of course, the main ingredient is love.

I hated her cheesiness, but I admit that without it, she's not the same. She's sweet and loving and caring that made Dad and I the luckiest men on Earth.

Specially tuwing birthdays namin. Mom believes that our birthdays are the most special events in a year, even more special than Christmas. She said she'll forever cherish the date that we were born, so our birthdays never failed to be exciting and enjoyable. Mom likes surprises. Minsan kapag akala ko tapos na ang party, may isa pa pa lang kahon sa ilalim ng kama ko; o biglang may nakasabit na regalo sa loob ng closet ko.

Then I know that Mom would probably sleep every night of our birthdays with a very satisfied smile on her face. It was her that mattered to me for my birthday, so I believe I'm pretty reasonable if I said that I've stopped celebrating my birthday ever since she died.

What was the point?

Amethyst stands there, in front of the closed window. Smiling. The candle light dancing on air. The smell of faint cooking around us.

"Happy birthday, Vin."

I can't grasp what is happening now. Amethyst knows when my birthday is? She prepared me a cake?

"A-Amethyst . . ."

She is biting her lower lip in evident excitement. "Ano, na-surprise ka ba?"

I blinked, I laughed, I shook my head. "The hell . . . how did you . . ."

"It doesn't matter," she said. "Come on. Lapit ka sa 'kin. Blow your candle."

Now I really laughed. Nilapag ko ang bag ko pati ang paperbag na may laman ng mga gusto kong ibigay sa kanya. I walked towards her, in front of her, and she looked up to me.

"C-Can we blow it together?" tanong niya.

Bahagya akong yumuko para abot ko 'yung kandila.

"It's also my birthday today," sabi niya, nakangiti nang malawak. Napatingin ako sa kanya at napaawang ang bibig ko.

My eyes widened. "R-Really?"

"Yes," sabi niya, nakangiti pa rin sa 'kin.

For a moment, I stayed there, staring at her, my mouth agape. She is smiling with one of her brightest smiles, and without saying anything, we both blew the candle at the same time.

—

"HOW DID YOU know it's my birthday?" I asked, habang nakaupo sa lamesa. We're eating everything he cooked on the table.

Tumawa siya tsaka tinuro sa 'kin ang tinidor niya. "Ikaw," sabi niya, "nakalimutan mo na bang ako lagi ang naiiwan dito sa bahay? Seeing the date of your birthday is poof. Easy to know."

I just laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Alam mo rin ba na birthday ko?" tanong niya.

"Um . . . no."

"E, bakit ako may regalo?" she asked. Biglang nanlaki ang mga mata niya. "Oh, no. Sorry. Of course those are for Cinna."

I glanced at her in the middle of my chewing. Tumikhim ako."N-No," I said. "That's actually for you."

She blinked at me. "For me?"

"Yes. Ayaw mo?"

She didn't reply. Tumingin na lang siya sa pagkainan niya tsaka nahihiyang ngumiti sa 'kin. I laughed at her reaction.

"Ikaw talaga, ba't mo naman ako naisipang bilhan ng regalo? Minsan, sweet ka pala, 'no?"

"Doesn't matter," sabi ko. "Basta tanggapin mo na lang."

"Of course. I love gifts!"

"People are also posting notes about you," sabi ko. "Must've missed the greetings."

"Nah," sagot niya saka tumawa. "Nobody knows about my birthday. Not even Cinna."

I blinked. "What? Why?"

She shrugged.

I didn't ask further.

"Ako lang nakakaalam?"

Amethyst didn't say anything, but she smiled meaningfully at me. At that same moment, I felt something spark within my chest, and it's not electricity, or something. It's . . . something else.

I tried to remember who she was before the tragedy struck just a month ago. She was popular, had a lot of friends, and at the hallways, almost everybody greets her. She has the perfect life, and nobody ever hated her. She isn't the brightest student, but she isn't the dumbest, either, and that made her reachable by other students, like she was one of them, but also not.

She was in another level, but something in her just pulls friends without any discomfort. Well, I guess except for me.

She was so bright, I never thought I could ever get near her.

Now I'm sitting across her, eating lunch.

But I guess, for me, she will always be that girl, with freckled shoulder blades, honey hair, sitting on the coffee table with sunlight across her face.

——

IT IS ALREADY sunny the next day, so the gloomy day is over.

I did the most embarrassing thing today. I wanted her to wear the dress so much that I hung it on the bathroom, which could be a sign good enough for her to wear it. Gusto kong umuwi ngayon at makita siyang suot ang dress na binili ko para sa kanya. I badly wanna see her in it.

I don't know.

I just bet she would be really beautiful.

The day went normally, much better than the last time because finally Pierre had come to school.

"My broooooo!"

He greeted me that way through the hallways which made a few heads turn towards us. Pierre can be really such a pain in the ass, and I gotta endure it, because it may not be so obvious but I like him being goofy and energetic almost a hundred percent of the time. He's the complete opposite of me.

"The fuck, Pierre!"

"Happy fucking birthday!"

"'Wag ka ngang maingay, what the fuck—"

"Ano ka ba! You're fucking eighteen and, guess what?" He grinned widely, stretched his right leg, his both arms high, and screamed, "YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN!"

"Shut the fuck up—"

"We gotta do something about that."

"Sakit ba ang pagiging virgin, Pierre?" singhal ko. "Whatever. Wala namang batas na nagsasabing dapat devirginized ka na before eighteen."

"Siyempre meron!" sabi niya. "Laws of Manhood."

"'Tang inang — bahala ka na nga diyan."

I was about to go when he ran and stopped in front of me.

"Uh-uh. It's not your birthday today, I know, pero absent kasi ako kahapon, kaya magkukunwari tayong ngayon ang birthday mo."

"Birthday ko ang mag-a-adjust?"

"For the mighty, ever so perfect, Pierre?"

"Whatever you say."

"Yes!"

Habang tumatawa, dumapo ang tingin ko kay Oliver na nakasandal sa pader sa hallway. I'm surprised I almost forgot about him, ever since what happened before yesterday ended. Oliver is staring right at me, a smirk on his lips. He then turned around and walked away.

For a moment, my blood went cold. I was frozen to the ground, my palms sweating. I tried to act like normal, as if I did not see him looking straight to my eyes with a creepy smirk on his lips, until Pierre brought it up.

"S-Sa 'yo ba siya nakatingin?"

I tried to laugh. I rubbed my nose. "Why would he?"

I thought I was convincing enough, but Pierre started to give me a different look ever since.

Nakita ko si Cinna habang nasa main building, with Pierre still annoyingly beside me. He truly believes that I am going to be stalked by Oliver and he "fears for my safety" so he refuses to leave.

"Cinna," I called.

"Casual, ah!" sabi ni Pierre.

"Uy!" Cinna called back. Nakasandal ulit siya sa pader sa main building, tsaka malawak na ngumiti sa 'kin tsaka Pierre. "Hi, Pierre."

"Yo, Cinna!"

"Sabay kayong uuwi?" tanong niya. "That's odd," she said, and laughed.

"Nah," I said and pushed Pierre's face away from me.

"Of course I will," sabi niya. "Vin's in need for a body guard today."

"Ha?" Cinna snorts. "Why? Is he a fugitive now?"

"Tsk tsk, the reason should not be disclosed to the public. Sorry, civilian."

Cinna shook her head while laughing.

"Anyways, it is odd to see you alone here," sabi ni Pierre. He wrinkled his nose while he rubbed his chin. "May hinihintay ka ba?"

"H-H-Hinihintay?" Cinna stammered, redness rising up her cheeks. I laughed at her reaction. "W-Wala, 'no. I j-just happen to um, stand here. And who would I be waiting for?"

"Ewan," sagot ni Pierre. "Siguro . . . students whose classroom are only a few meters from you and whose out is, huh . . ." He looked at his watch. "1:00 PM."

"1 PM ang out nating lahat, Pierre," Cinna said and rolled her eyes.

"Umamin ka na lang kasing hinihintay mo s—"

"Shut up now!" Cinna said and stepped on Pierre's right foot, making him jump and scream in pain.

"You are a demon's heiress!"

I laughed.

"Anyway, puwede ba akong humingi ng favor sa inyong dalawa?" she suddenly asked.

"Definitely no!" Pierre yelled while holding his hurting foot.

"Favor?" I said. Naalala kong kailangan kong umuwi nang maaga ngayong araw.

Well . . . for what reason, really? To see Amethyst in the yellow dress much earlier? To see her much faster?

Wait. Ano ba 'tong naiisip ko?

"I swear, sobrang saglit lang nito," Cinna said, seeming desperate. "I just need a hand on this."

"I said, no!" Pierre said.

—

HE ENDED UP coming with me, and now we're on Cinna's car.

Damn, I can't open my phone because Pierre will definitely peek in. Sitting on the passenger seat, he can easily do that. Now I can't sneak a text on Amethyst! P'wedeng-p'wede ko namang ilayo sa kanya ang pagte-text but he'd always seen my text messages so doing that would be very suspicious. I've never hidden anything from him ever, and I can remember telling him once, that I trust him disgustingly enough that I'd never lie to him about anything. Well, guess what? I have a dead girl on my house and he doesn't even know. Well, not technically — but that's what everybody believes.

Except, maybe, Oliver . . .

Fuck. Now I am becoming even more unnerved.

"M-Malayo pa ba, Cinna?"

I sensed Pierre looking at me.

"It's downtown, a few blocks from the coffee shop," she said. "Ang Tita ko kasi, may shop siya do'n na kaka-open pa lang. She needs to unbox some stuff."

That's gonna take a full hour! I once did that with Tanya and I did it alone so it took a good three hours, with a little cleaning around the place. With four people, it would take an hour.

My right knee started to shake. I bit on my thumb.

I feel nervous, and I have a very bad feeling about going home late. After seeing Oliver earlier and after hearing what he told me yesterday, I feel like every minute, Amethyst can be in danger. That's what my instincts told me, and often times, my instincts are correct.

Just like the night my parents died, because that night, I was home alone, having trouble sleeping. Through the night, my heart was racing, feeling uneasy for unknown reasons. I forced myself to calm down and sleep and convinced myself that I would see my parents again the next morning, and all my nervousness would be for nothing.

My parents were out for their anniversary date, but they never came home.

Since then, I relied almost everything to my instincts because the last time I didn't, my parents died. I can't let the same thing happen now.

Halos mapatalon ako sa kinauupuan ko nang mag-ring ang phone ko. I quickly fished out the phone from my pocket, and turned off the loudspeaker.

"Hello?" I said. Cinna looked sideways to me.

"Vin. Vin . . ."

It's Amethyst.

My heart started to pound. I bit on my thumb, my knees shook harder. Her voice is almost like a whisper, muffled, and shaking. Like she's hiding. Like she is fucking hiding. From who?

Oliver?

Is this what his fucking smirk meant?

"W-What's wrong?"

"J-J-Just come home already, please," she begged. "Someone's here. S-Someone knows . . ."

"Someone knows that I'm alive."

That's it. The call turned off, and the next thing I know, I'm fixing my things, telling Cinna that I have to go. White noise filled my head, and I don't even know know what I'm saying anymore, just the fact that I really have to go. Cinna insisted that she will just take me wherever I badly needed to head to, but she shouldn't, not even Pierre. Pierre got off the car and I told him to stay with Cinna, a bit harsher than I'm supposed to, and rode the first bus I saw.

Tumatakbo ang oras. Oliver is inside the house. Amethyst is hiding somewhere in the house, under the kitchen sink, my bed, or inside the closet. Probably already wearing the yellow dress I bought. Sino'ng may alam kung ano pang pupuwedeng mangyari? Suddenly I pictured her starry smiles and her sun-kissed hair, the way her curry tastes like, her very beautiful face upon our birthday candlelight.

And I lost it.

The bus is fucking slow so I got off the bus, and ran. I ran and ran and ran that I don't even care whether I lose my breath on the way. My whole body felt like it's on fire. The fact that Oliver is at my house and Amethyst is scared somewhere, hiding, scares me. It brings back the terror I once felt, being alone on a ride towards a far away town that are full of strangers, and the place itself unknown. It is as if you are being held in a very tight palm; suffocating the hell out of you. And you can't do anything about it.

Countless nightmarish scenes ran through my head as my feet blasted through the streets. I took the shortest route I know to get to Weston Road almost immediately, and then just as sunlight almost blinded my eyes and my legs turned jelly, I have arrived.

And in front of my house, there are two police cars, with people surrounding it. Amethyst is nowhere to be seen.

—

I SAW A few neighbors who took care of me here three years ago. Ate Yinya, Ate Jiha, Manang Flor, and Mama Grace. When they saw me, I saw their faces drawn with worry, and then they wept. Mabilis nila akong nilapitan tsaka niyakap.

"Bakit pawis na pawis ka naman?" ate Jiha asked me, tears still on her face.

Ate Yinya, who isn't crying but looked obviously stressed, held my shoulders. "You are not the kind of person who keeps corpses. I know!"

I was alarmed. "W-What happened?"

They looked at each other, and back at me. "Someone broke into your house, Vin, so I called the police," sabi ni Mama Grace, holding my hair. "Pumunta ka na lang sa bahay n'yo. The police may want to question you."

"Don't worry, okay?" said Manang Flor. "We all know you're innocent."

This just brings even more guilt in my heart. I looked at them, said thank you so much, and left. I used the remaining energy I have to run towards my house. And then I saw Oliver, restraining into the police's hold.

"Let go of me! Let me fucking go!"

A few cops turned to me, looking usually bored. "Are you . . . the owner of this house?"

I nodded. My heart is racing. Nobody saw Amethyst. Nobody seemed to. If somebody did, my neighbors' reactions wouldn't have been like that.

"Y-Yes. I'm Mavin Adams."

The female cop talking to me nodded. "Could we just, uh, look through your house?"

"Damn right, bitch," Oliver said, his teeth bared. Almost like an animal. "Go, search for Amethyst Cambray. Go search for a murderer!"

My blood went cold. I walked towards him and I don't know how, but I sent a punch across his face. The cops stopped me, but anger seemed to take over my senses.

I remember saying that the only thing I'm able to do is be angry because I'm weak, a coward. But after knowing he broke into my house and almost put Amethyst in danger, I can't help myself.

A punch is not enough. I want to break his fucking skull.

"You fucker," I said. "Fuck you. Fuck you!"

"Why are you so mad, huh?" Oliver said, blood running down his broken nose. "Guilty?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"You gotta listen to me!" Oliver yelled. "Amethyst isn't dead. Amethyst killed her own family, and even Hannah Fuller!"

"That's enough, kid," a cop said and pushed him on the car.

But even when the car left, Oliver's words never did.

—

EVEN WHEN I'M standing inside my own house as the police promptly looked around, I don't know where Amethyst is.

The police found nothing. Everything that Amethyst had worn was mine, so there are no female clothes found, and her underwear is hidden and done with the laundry. Na-realize kong kaya pala palaging ayaw ni Amethyst na mabilhan siya ng mga damit na pambabae ay para sa ganitong mga pagkakataon. I don't know that she'd thought so far ahead. Even her toothbrushes are in a plastic that seemed unused, like an extra toothbrush, and there were no sign of hair in pillows, blankets, or even on my bed. She'd always cleaned hard enough.

The police, though, found a few girl stuff from the bag I bought yesterday, and I said it's my gift for someone.

I thought everything was going okay until they checked the trashcan. I panicked and realized Amethyst's used napkins may have been there, but the police just shrugged and left the trashcan behind.

"I heard your cousin, uh . . . stayed over for, like, a few days?" one of the cops said.

I tried so hard to look as if I was saying the truth. "That's right, sir."

"Can I see her?" the cop asked, but I said she'd already left.

"Oliver has been found numerous times being involved to illegal gambling, drugs, and other delinquent teens do," the other cop said. "Why do you think he accuses you of keeping Amethyst?"

Again, I pretended I was saying the truth. For now, I'm Mavin Adams who doesn't know shit and doesn't give a fucking damn about Amethyst Cambray. Oliver is a piece of shit, drowned in alcohol and drugs, known to be a bully.

"Narinig kong obsessed siya kay Amethyst Cambray, sir," I said. I tried not to shake as I speak. This is the truth I know. This is the truth i know. I gulped. "Cinna, a friend of them, can testify that. Oliver must have heard somewhere that around a month ago, I brought home a girl at 1 AM, and he probably assumed it was Amethyst Cambray, but it was just my cousin."

"What's yer cousin's name?" the cop asked.

Here, I trembled. I swallowed. "Well, sir, she goes by a lot of names," I said. I laughed and bought a few time thinking hard, remembering my aunt's daughter's name. Fuck. Fuck.

"S-She's Maverick Dean. She lives very far away."

The police scribbled it down. I said the wrong name.

It's Marivic Dean. I hope I confused them enough. When they asked me for her phone number, I said I don't have hers. They just yawned.

They did not question further, and left after saying they'll call me if they need more information regarding Oliver's claims.

I know they won't come back.

I just sat on my couch as my shaking fingers ran my thighs. As a habit, I closed my window and relaxed my knees. After a few minutes, I saw Amethyst emerging from my room.

And I'm right . . . she's wearing the yellow dress.

I almost melted.

"Thank God . . ." I did not stand up. I am so relieved, I am so happy, that if I were weak enough I could have fainted right here.

Amethyst though, is shaking as she walked. Tumayo na ako saka siya nilapitan, and she hugged me.

She pushed her face against my chest, and cried really hard. Her fingers clutched on my uniform as she wept and wept.

"I'm so happy you're safe," I whispered. I gulped in her scent, the softness of her hair, and just felt really happy that she's safe right now, breathing, in my arms.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm really sorry, Vin."

"The hell are you apologizing for?" I said, laughing.

"B-Because I put you in such danger!"

"Danger? We are not in danger, Amethyst. You saved us," I said. "Dang. Wrapping your napkins, using my clothes, vacuuming any evidence of your hair . . ."

She sniffled. "T-That's common knowledge!"

"Still."

I haven't embraced her like this ever since she came here, and now that I do, I think it feels really perfect. Like how you feel after putting the last missing piece in a beautiful puzzle. The completeness and the satisfaction you feel.

I like the feeling of Amethyst Cambray in my arms.

"D-Do you believe him?" Amethyst asked. "Oliver?"

I looked at Amethyst's beautiful round, glistening eyes. They're sparkling in tears. They're pretty.

"No," I lied. "I definitely don't."

—