07
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CINNA TOLD ME it's for the better if we check the gambling place of Amethyst's father first. I couldn't agree more, though I was actually thinking it's more convenient if we split jobs. Kaso naisip ko ring baka ayaw niya lang maiwang mag-isa. Well, it's better this way, to be honest.

"Tell me something about Cinna," I asked Amethyst habang nanonood kami ng TV. I just want to know something about her that I do not know yet, so I'll know how to act better when around her, specially now that we are going to spend some time together.

"No way, doof," Amethyst replied through a cookie between her lips. "I don't like you to be Cinna's boyfriend."

"I'm not—" Napakunot ang noo ko. "Why?" I replied, my eyes affixed on the TV.

"Kasi," sabi niya, "kapag mahiyain din magiging jowa niya, wala na siyang magiging progress as a person."

"Progress as a person," I mocked. "So, you think she should hang out with Oliver instead?"

"Nope!" sabi niya. "Like, boys like . . . Pierre."

"Pierre?!" I can't imagine the both of them dating. "You gotta think that over."

She laughed. "But okay. For as long as I'm still 'dead', hindi dapat kayo magda-date ni Cinna."

Napangiti ako sa sarili. It's like she's saying Cinna and I have a chance after all this is over.

"So, one fact about Cinna." Tumayo si Amethyst mula sa beanbag saka tinabihan ako sa couch. She crossed her legs and grinned at me. "She doesn't look like it, but she loves erotic novels."

"No way." Hindi ko ma-imagine si Cinna na nagbabasa no'n. I feel like she's gonna blush all through her reading. "More like you do."

I feel like I shouldn't have said that. Bigla siyang nanahimik.

Amethyst's eyebrows raised, and chuckled a little. "A-And Cinna loves sweets."

"Anong sweets?"

"Like . . . apple cinnamon rolls," she said and watched TV.

She did not look at me again for the rest of the show.

—

I THINK I really said something wrong.

Was I being insensitive? Para bang ipinarating ko sa kanyang mas bastos siya kaysa kay Cinna?

Sitting on my seat in the class, I thought of Amethyst at home. For sure, pag-uwi ko naglinis na siya. My laundries are washed. The dishes are done. It's been like it for a month, and I'm starting to get used to it.

Amethyst and I only get to talk when I watch TV, because I'm always at work, at school, or at home reading a book. Come to think of it, I never really asked her "how are you?" every time I get home . . . but she does. How my day went, was it hard, how was the weather . . . did she think I was cold?

Also, again, if I think really hard . . . she never really pried into my life. She never asked where my parents are, if I had any siblings. It's like we're sharing a roof, we're eating dinners together while watching the television, but the distance between us is very . . . big.

I bit my lip. I should've been more sensitive.

After class, I pretended that I was reading a book on the corridors, but I was just actually waiting for Cinna. Pero hindi lang siya ang naabutan ko. I saw Cinna marching through the halls with Oliver trailing behind her, angry. Napasara ko ang libro ko.

When Cinna saw me, she pulled my arm. "Let's go, Vin."

What—

"Aha! Replacing me with a limp nerd, huh?"

"Shut up, Oliver!"

"Cinna, ano'ng nangya—"

"Manahimik ka muna, Vin!"

I flinched. Did Cinna just yell at me?!

"Mag-uusap pa tayo, Cinna!"

"There's nothing else to talk about, Oliver!" Cinna yelled and stopped. Hawak pa rin ang braso ko, mabilis siyang umikot para tingnan sa mga mata si Oliver. "I'm so fucking done with you! Ayoko na sa 'yo! If you keep fucking girls from this town, I don't ever wanna be involved with you again!"

Then she stormed off again. Habang mabilis na naglalakad si Cinna hila hila ako, nilingon ko si Oliver. He growled in anger and kicked the nearest trashcan. Everyone around him flinched.

Napatingin ako sa kamay ni Cinna na nakahawak sa 'kin. Namumuti. Mahigpit. She's really angry.

"Hey," I softly said. She did not respond.

Nagulat ako kasi hindi kami pumunta ng bus stop. We went straight to the parking lot.

"Sorry do'n, Vin," she said with heavy breaths. She's not looking at me. "I . . . I just . . ."

Binuksan niya ang pinto ng kotse saka pumasok sa loob. Umiyak siyang bigla saka binagsak ang ulo sa manibela. I reluctantly entered her car and held her shoulders.

"Cinna . . . hey."

Cinna covered her face with her hands and continued crying. Her shoulders shook as she wept and I don't know what to do.

"I loved him."

It crushed a part of me, but a larger part of me is crushed even harder seeing her crying like this.

"I know you do," I said. Hindi ko alam sasabihin . . . what do you say to the girl you like who is crying? I blabbered. "But did you see how he acted? He wasn't . . . w-wasn't matured enough to keep his voice down and talk things through. Um. S-Softly."

Cinna was crying but she laughed. "Sinasabi mo lang 'yan, kasi . . . that's how you would've acted."

Natahimik ako. "Y-Yeah. Sort of."

She laughed again. "I feel stupid for crying over an asshole."

I smiled. "Cheer up."

She sighed. "He didn't use to be like that, you know?" sabi niya. "He used to be really, really nice. Ever since Amy's death, naging ganyan na siya."

Bumangon siya mula sa manibela saka tiningnan mga daliri niya.

"D-Do you think he was just grieving?"

"No," sagot ni Cinna. "It's like his true self is coming out of his shell."

He used to be really nice? "How "nice"? Like, making a dummy account and asking for nudes?"

Wait—crap! Why did I say that?

Napatahimik si Cinna saka mabilis na tumingin sa 'kin. "W-Where did you get that?" sabi niya sa akin. Bigla akong kinabahan saka napakapit sa bintana ng kotse niya.

"I-I-I heard it from Pierre." Sorry, dude.

"From Pierre? How did he . . ." She heaved a sigh. "That idiot . . . but believe me. I don't think Oliver would've done that."

She really likes Oliver, I hear Amethyst's voice again. Nanahimik na lang ako ulit.

"Sorry, Cinna," I said. I thought back to what just happened. "I-I should've said something back there."

Cinna relaxed her shoulders and smiled softly at me. "No. I wouldn't like it kung nagsalita ka pa," sabi niya. "Baka masapak ka lang no'n."

I laughed, and she laughed as well.

"W-Why am I here, though?"

"Akala ko napag-usapan na natin?" sabi niya. "We're going to the place where Mr. Cambray gambles."

"R-Right now?" Naisip kong sa Sabado na.

"Why?" she asks. "Do you want to go home first?"

I thought of Amethyst. Sanay na siyang umuuwi ako nang mga ganitong oras kaya baka magtaka siya na hindi pa ako umuuwi.

Maybe I'll just call the phone. "N-No," I said. Mag-e-explain na lang ako kay Amethyst pag-uwi. I'm sure she'd understand because after all, we're doing this for her.

As Cinna drove, I just looked out the window. I think of two things: how is Amethyst doing and what the hell did Cinna see in that Oliver guy? All I can see is that he's an asshole, he doesn't respect Cinna, and he doesn't love her. Nanlamig siya matapos mamatay ni Amy, and I suppose that's because when Amethyst died, he lost the purpose he has on Cinna. He just used Cinna so he could get close to Amy. Before he could even break up with her, she did, and that destroyed his ego.

"Hey," sabi ulit ni Cinna. "You look worried."

"Yeah," sabi ko. "About . . . a-about you. Sa tingin mo titigilan ka rin agad ni Oliver?"

Hindi muna sumagot si Cinna.

"E-Ewan," sabi niya, tumatawa. "I don't like to think about it."

That shut off the topic.

"Don't worry about me."

That's the same thing that Tanya said. That's what everybody says when there are a lot of things to be worried about.

For a good forty-five minutes, the car finally came to a stop. Nakakunot ang noo niyang sinilip ang lugar na napuntahan namin. Lumabas na siya ng kotse na sinundan ko naman, saka napatingin sa building na tinitingnan din niya.

"Is this it?" tanong ko.

The building is quite dirty, with its peach paint peeling off the cement. It's a few stories tall. It looks like an abandoned building had it not been for the noise coming from a few floors high.

Cinna and I decided to enter the building. The ground floor is as good as abandoned, with broken windows and hollow blocks and a few cans of beer on the floor. The footsteps echo around the room as we climb up the stairs.

"Third floor," Cinna murmurs. The second floor is as abandoned as the first. But the third floor seemed to cope up with the silence of its floors below — it's noisier, dirtier, and even more alive. The door to the gambling place is ajar, but the noise from inside escapes. Napakunot agad ang noo ko.

"V-Vin—" Cinna held the hem of my shirt. Nagulat ako dahil do'n. I looked at her and . . . she seemed scared.

I stepped closer to her. "You okay?" I asked. "S-Should we go?"

"No," sabi agad niya. She sighed deeply. "Wala. Let's go."

Lumunok na lang ako saka sumilip sa pinto.

And man.

"Oh, god," I whispered.

Cinna took her own peeking too and gasps. "That's a lot of people."

The room is huge. And dirty. The room smelled of cigarette smoke, sweat and cement, and I tell you that it's not a pleasant smell. From a few meters, there are billiard boards, and there are also creaky wooden tables sat by various men and women. Other gambling games are here too, specially card games. Maingay, may metal rock song, at halos lahat ng nandito may sigarilyo sa bibig.

Gary Cambray is always here, and he's got many women? He's got tattoos and a woman visits his shop between 8-9 PM? Goddamn. That's so far from how Amethyst described him to me. Has Amethyst been living a lie?

"Pasok na tayo," I said, and we stepped in.

I looked around. If possible, I'd like to talk to a friendly fellow who would be able to answer a few of our questions. Unfortunately, it seems as if there is no such person available here in this place.

"V-Vin . . ."

Napalingon ako kay Cinna na halata ang takot sa mukha. So this is the reason why she doesn't want to do this alone; if she wanted, I could've just went alone.

Shit.

"Yeah, we'll do this fast," I said with a little smile.

Biglang tumayo lahat ng balahibo ko sa katawan nang nakita ko si Tanya.

"Cinna!" I exclaimed. "Is that Tanya?"

"W-What? Where?"

I saw Tanya standing behind a man, gambling. She's got a serious look on her eyes and the cigarette between her lips are producing puff of smoke.

I don't know if I should be happy that she's here.

Stop worryin'. That's what she always told me.

Should I?

"Tanya!" Cinna called.

A few heads turned to us, and I swear that if glares can kill, Cinna and I should be dead now. Napalunok lang ako saka nag-iwas ng tingin, though when I looked at Tanya, she was so surprised and horrified she walked so fast towards us.

"Ano'ng ginagawa n'yo rito?!" bigla niyang sabi. Tinanggal niya ang sigarilyo sa bibig niya saka inapakan 'yon.

Hindi agad kami nakasagot ni Cinna. Goddamn. Had we known that Tanya would be here, may naihanda sana kami ng alibi. Before replying, Tanya spoke again in a very hushed voice.

"You shouldn't be here," sabi niya. "Do you even know this place?"

"Y-Yeah, but—"

Naputol ang sasabihin ko nang nagsalita siya ulit. "Leave now, Vin."

"Ms. Tanya, we're here because of s-something important," Cinna pled. "Please. If you just . . . let me talk to anyone of them . . ."

Tanya didn't answer. Tiningnan niya lang kaming dalawa bago huminga nang malalim. "Magpapaliwanag kayo sa akin mamaya sa coffee shop."

Then she turned around, lit another cigarette, and blew a puff of smoke from her mouth.

Cinna sighed in relief. "She gambles?" tanong niya sa 'kin.

"No," sabi ko. "I-I mean . . . she told me once that she hate risks. She always play safe, see." Pinanood ko lang siya habang may kausap na lalaki. "And I can tell she's new here."

Cinna laughed. "Yeah, figured. She doesn't look confident." She shrugged.

After a few minutes, a man was already walking towards us. Maliit lang siya, around 5'2, rounded nose, buzz cut hair. Unlike the others, he's wearing a suit that seemed out of place. He looked at us and said, "ano kailangan n'yo?"

"J-Just wanna ask po," sabi ni Cinna.

"Bilisan," he said with a dismissive tone.

"Gary Cambray," I said. "Kilala n'yo po ba?"

Why was I expecting a fast reply? The man stiffened all of a sudden and looked at me like I was insane.

"Fucktard . . . the man's dead already!"

"W-We're just—"

Pinutol ko si Cinna. "We're intern journalists from Colleville town. Napag-utusan kaming imbestigahan 'yung mga namatay." I tried to say that without stuttering. "Please. Just a little information will help."

The man looked at us in scrutiny. "You guys don't look like interns at all."

We're wearing casual clothes. Today's a Friday anyway and Friday is the day wherein we're allowed to wear civilian clothes at school for the working students. I just hope we're convincing enough.

Eventually, the man just sighed. Nanigarilyo siya ulit. He shifted his weight to his other foot. "Gary Cambray. That man's always here except on Saturdays," he said. "Family time, he says."

I nodded. That sounds like it. Gary Cambray being a family man.

"How does he do here?" Cinna asked. "Marami ba siyang, like, utang? Kaaway? Kagalit? Kaibigan?"

The man laughed hysterically. "Man! That Cambray boy. Since he died, ang daming natuwa. I'm telling you — he's a monster. Many believe he's cheating, but I think his gambling is just purely brains and talent." He winked at us. "He wins over every opponent he gambles with," sabi niya, "and now that he's gone, there's one less horror in this place."

Nagkatinginan kami ni Cinna.

"He seems like the big deal," sabi ni Cinna. The man made a face. "May nakaaway na ba siya?"

"Oh," sabi niya. He frowns and looked up. "Nah. I . . . hmm." He rubs his two chins with messy stubbles. "I've been here for so long, and as far as I know, that Cambray boy hasn't been in any fights. No. Nah. Nope. Kung may makakaaway man siya, it's never him that instigated it."

"I see," sabi ni Cinna. Napatahimik si Cinna. She seems to be thinking it over.

"We're just wondering if anyone here has anything to do with the fire," sabi ko.

"Man. We're all gamblers here but we never kill," sabi niya. "That's way over the border."

He looked at us. Nagsindi ulit siya ng panibagong sigarilyo.

"May kilala po ba kayong nakaaway niya?" Cinna asked.

The man sighed. He shrugged. "Like I said, those fights were never real fights. Gary Cambray, aside from being quiet and a gambling monster, has never been really harsh and violent. You can talk to anyone here and they would say the same."

Sumakit ang ulo ko. We're getting nothing here.

"Of course," sabi ko na lang. Tiningnan ko saglit si Cinna at nakitang nakatingin din siya sa 'kin. We both bowed our heads a little. "Thank you for your time, sir."

The man waved his hand at us dismissively and returned to one of the tables. The man seemed pretty rich, with his accent, clothing and all. Hindi tulad ng mga kasama niyang naka pudpod na shirt or leather jacket. Cinna and I went out the room, until Tanya came after us.

"You both owe me an explanation, okay?" she said. Now she looks like a horrified mother, and I laughed. "Ano tinatawa-tawa mo diyan?"

"Because you're panicking."

She kicked me on my middle, and I groaned in pain. Damn it, I was only joking. What the fucking hell . . .

"Ms. Tanya. Thank you for allowing us po," Cinna said.

"Seriously though. Ano bang plano n'yong dalawa?" asked Tanya while frowning.

"N-Nothing," sabi ko, bago pa magsalita si Cinna. My groin still aches. "A-A research . . . project."

"Research project," Tanya said, rolling her eyes. "Just make sure you kids stay away from harm."

"I heard you," I said.

—

"MR. CAMBRAY DOESN'T seem to be a bad man, then," sabi ni Cinna habang nagda-drive. "He isn't the type of guy that men chase, right? Like . . . he's dangerous, but not the to-be-killed dangerous, right?"

"Yeah," sabi ko. I think so, too. "The place looked dangerous, but as the man said . . ."

"Walang mamamatay tao ro'n."

"Do you think he's just saying that?"

"Well, no. Here in Ashmore, kapag may kaunting away, nababalita agad. Sa liit ba naman ng lugar na 'to," she said. "And we heard nothing about gamble fights. And if it isn't in the newspapers, it's probably not serious."

I nodded. Napabuntung-hininga ako. We got nothing — almost nothing from the gambling place. We have to investigate more.

Nanahimik kaming dalawa. As the silence consumed us, bigla kong naalala na hindi ko pala natawagan si Amethyst sa bahay. Shit. I wonder what's happening there, now. I haven't called. It's almost 3 PM already at didiretso na kami ni Cinna sa coffee shop. I'm starting to feel bad for her.

Shit.

I flinched when my phone rang. Mabilis ko 'yong kinuha sa bag ko saka sinagot 'yon nang mabilis.

I forgot it was on loudspeaker.

"Mavin! Nasaan ka na?!"

I hurriedly turned off the phone call in panic. Kasabay ng pagpatay ko ng tawag ay ang biglang pagtigil ni Cinna sa pagda-drive. I looked at her hesitantly, and she's looking at me wide-eyed.

"W-Was that . . ." she started to say. Huminga siya nang malalim. "A-Amethyst's voice?"

—