04

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EVEN THOUGH I insisted Amethyst to sleep on the bed, she still slept on the couch. She's small, so the couch is a perfect fit for her, but it still made me a little uncomfortable. We didn't talk after I agreed to help her. It's like she was giving me space, letting me breathe everything in, so she was quiet and still. I sat on the couch and watched TV, while she was on the kitchen actually cooking us dinner.

I admit . . . I miss someone else's cooking. We ate on the dinner table silently with the dim orange light, and realized how different everything is.

Today's Wednesday. Paggising ko, mayro'n nang pagkain sa mesa habang natutulog naman si Amethyst sa couch. I feel bad looking at her sleeping like that, but she insisted, didn't she? Damn. I finished the breakfast and went to the door. Before I even turned the knob, I stopped in my tracks when I saw bruises on Amethyst's arms.

Napakunot ang noo ko. Dahan-dahan akong lumakad palapit sa kanya. The bruises are big and purplish. Nanlaki lalo ang mga mata ko nang mas may pasa pa sa bandang hita niya. Why didn't I see this before?

Napakurap ako.

She opened her eyes.

Napakislot ako at napaatras. "A-Amethyst."

"Aalis ka na?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but I closed it again. "Are you sure about this?"

Amethyst smiled at me and closed her eyes, as if sleeping. "You agreed to help me, Vin," she said. "Sigurado ako dito."

I just blinked. "Amethyst. You could do anything with your money. Why . . . why stay here?"

"Because I don't trust everyone else," she said, her eyes still closed.

"But you trust me?"

"I chose to trust you because I don't know you," she said. Dumilat ulit siya saka bahagyang tumawa. "And I feel like . . . like you're a very kind person. I'm sure of it." She closed her eyes again. What a stupid reason.

I just looked at her bruises and something twisted on my stomach.

"If you trust me so much," I said, "lend me your ATM card and I'll buy you a bed."

Before I left the house, she spoke again. Tiningnan ko siya at nakaiwas siya ng tingin, bahagya ring nakakunot ang noo niya.

"A-And underwears, too . . ."

—

I COULDN'T SKIP my shift again at 3 PM. I should have told Amethyst, but she said she trusts me, didn't she? After class, which was around 1 PM, I went to the shop for women and purchased some fucking underwear. At first I didn't mind, because underwear are just normal clothing to me but I just got weird looks from older women. It annoyed the hell out of me, so I just bought enough underwear so that I'll never have to return again.

Damn it.

It feels weird to go home with a pack of women underwear. Kada segundo parang halos hindi ako makapaniwalang may babae sa bahay ko at hindi lang 'yon; akala ng lahat patay na siya. Nakaka-panic lang isipin pero siguro kasalanan ko rin naman.

Pag-uwi at pagkapasok ko ng bahay, pakiramdam ko nasa ibang bahay ako.

The house seems . . . new.

Napatingin lang siya sa 'kin. "Where's the bed?"

Suot na naman niya ang isa ko pang shirt at nakapuyo ang mahaba niyang buhok. Beads of sweat are on her forehead, while cleaning my window, on top of a chair.

"I'll get one later," sabi ko. I licked my lower lip and awkwardly dropped her bag of underwear. I cleared my throat.

Tiningnan ko ang paligid. "Wow. Talagang pinandigan mo lahat ng sinabi mo." Amethyst can be an interior designer. I thought Mr. Bob was amazing. Hindi ko naman alam na sa simpleng arrangement lang ng mga appliances, magmumukhang mansyon ang bahay ko.

"Of course!" she said. "Or else, baka palayasin mo na 'ko."

I laughed a little. "Nah."

I sensed her looking at me, smiling. "A-Anyway, I noticed you're running out of goods. Shop for some from the market. Buy anything you want."

I slumped down the couch and frowned. "The hell, Amethyst?"

"Amethyst is kinda long, don't you think?" she said, and jumped off the chair. "Call me Amy."

Parang imposibleng isipin na may nakikitira ngayon sa bahay ko. Just a week ago I was looking for a shirt that will impress Cinna, and now I'm living with her best friend that she thinks is dead. How creepy the world works. Hindi ko nga masundan.

I bought her a bed, a foldable one, so that it's a couch for the morning and her comfortable bed in for evenings. I even borrowed Tanya's car for it, and getting it in is hard, but I managed. Better this way. Can't risk having someone else enter the house.

Dalawang linggo na siyang nasa bahay pero wala naman halos nangyayari. We don't talk so much, but when we do it's about casual things like work and school. I even almost forgot how she looked like on the beach. I think she's still making space for me. Making the both of us learn to be more comfortable around each other.

I continued my life like normal. School, home, work, home, except I don't cook my own meals anymore.

It was all normal until one night of July, I went home to see her crying.

The house wasn't cleaned, unlike the usual, and she's slumped down on the kitchen where knives are on the floor. What the hell was she trying to do?! Sa gulat ko, naibagsak ko ang bag sa sahig at mabilisang ini-lock ang pinto.

"Amy!"

She's crying loud I'm afraid the neighbors will hear her. Sumilip ako sa labas pero mukhang wala namang ibang tao ang nasa malapit. I carefully took Amy in my arms and guided her towards the couch. Her cries lessened but she was shaking like hell.

"S-Stay there," I said. I don't know what the hell just happened, but I just got her some water. Napansin kong bukas ang TV at nasa Ashmore News ang channel.

"I-I'm sorry," sabi niya. She wiped her tears but she's still obviously crying. "Napanood ko lang na tinigil na ang investigation dahil aksidente lang daw. I knew I can't trust the police . . ."

Napatigil ako. That was one of the rumors.

"D-Do you think that's true?" I asked as softly as I could.

"No!" she cried out. "I-I'm sure . . . I'm sure . . . I mean . . . I just know."

Napatahimik ako ulit. Napatitig lang ako sa luha at mga sugat ni Amethyst sa katawan. She's trembling. I can understand her fear. I remember not trusting the police as well. I remember their dead eyes, and that driver who ran free.

Amethyst must have had everything, like me. She woke up that Sunday and her parents are dead, and I can understand her more than anyone from this town can.

"Help me, Vin," she said. Hinawakan niya ako sa mga kamay ko kahit na nanginginig siya. "H-H-Help me. Please."

Napakurap-kurap ako habang nakatingin sa mga mata niyang umiiyak . . . na naman. I gulped. Napapikit ako nang mariin at huminga nang malalim. At this moment I'm faced with two options: call the police, forget everything, or help Amethyst Cambray, and ruin my cycle of routines.

"Mavin. Umalis ka na sa lugar na 'to."

"Po?"

"Bakit? Balak mo bang manatili rito at maging palamunin?"

"Pero Tita—"

"Hahanapan kita ng bahay, mapalayo layo ka lang dito!"

I closed my eyes and breathed deep. I held Amethyst's hands.

I have decided.

"Trust me," I said. "I will help you. But . . ."

Napakurap siya. Tumulo ang luha niya.

"Ever since, you've never really told me anything," sabi ko. "You trust me." I licked my lips. "But I don't trust you. So if you really want me to help you . . . tell me everything."

Napalunok siya, pumikit at tumango.

That night,

I heard the truth that nobody — not even a soul from Ashmore — knows.

—

Amethyst Cambray is 16 years old and she is the only daughter of Irene and Gary Cambray. Her mother used to work in the Ashmore post-office and her husband handled a hardware shop on the central town. Tahimik naman silang namuhay. Gary and Irene weren't connected in any dangerous stuff like drugs; they were friendly with the neighbors, and they both had clean records.

That Saturday night, 6 PM, Amethyst went off to visit a park. She said it was her Saturday routine. Umalis siya ulit mula sa park na 'yon mga bandang 7 PM para umuwi. Around 8:03 PM, the fire started, and the flames burned down her house.

Nobody from the Kaylock Road saw Amethyst leaving because at the time around 6-8 PM, they were all inside the house. Nothing seemed suspicious — at all, that the police seem to be having trouble getting some leads, and Amethyst is hinting that they probably want to dismiss the case to label it as just some 'accident', though she insists that the fire is too big to be one.

Amethyst did not want to return to her burning house and let everyone know she's alive — if her relatives discover that her parents are dead they will take her in, and she doesn't want that.

"I mean . . . I love them," sabi niya. "But they would never believe me that my parents are murdered. They would dismiss the fire as an accident like everyone else thinks!"

For a week, Amethyst hid herself at the beach. Mayroong isolated cottage doon na hindi na pinakakailaman ng ibang tao kaya doon muna siya nag-stat. For a week, she tried to think things through. For a week, she suffered by herself.

No matter how many friends she has. No matter how many people were crying at that gymnasium, no matter how many people want to see her alive. Still . . . she felt alone and shouldered everything alone.

"But I lost hope," she said and wept. "If my parents are dead then might as well, ako rin. Then you came . . . then you stopped me . . ."

After knowing her side, the story nobody ever knew, I felt a tremendous feeling of desire to help her. Maybe it would be the major turn of my life, maybe it means my life, but my own reason for helping her will perhaps remain unknown until my heart learns to speak.

—