01

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S E P T E M B E R 2019

EVERYONE FROM ASHMORE was surprised to hear the news that rang loud noises around the town for weeks. Rumors and lies swarmed around ears and mouths of everyone that lived in Ashmore that, honestly, know nothing, not anywhere near the truth. Well, I know what I'm talking about because I know the truth.

The Cambray family's house was swallowed by fire, so big and hot one Saturday evening, bringing panic to the neighbors. Mula sa bahay, kitang-kita 'yong malalaking usok na nanggagaling sa sunog. The fire was so strong nobody could get in, and after a few hours of trying to kill the monstrous flames, almost nothing remained in the house.

The next day, it was assumed that everybody that lived in the house is dead.

Their names, including Amethyst's, were printed on Ashmore Newspapers. They were given sad prayers at school. I didn't care that much, until I saw her.

With my own two eyes.

At first, I thought that doesn't make any sense. At all.

How can a dead girl be able to live, anyway? Makikita mo pang umiiyak sa tabing dagat. Ha. You'd probably think I'm insane, but I'm okay with that. Everybody thinks I am.

Thinking back to that Saturday night, I feel as if it is like a thousand years ago, because many things had actually happened. Things I wasn't prepared for.

And it all began when I discovered that Amethyst Cambray, who everybody thought was gone . . . isn't actually dead.

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J U N E 2 0 1 9

HERE IN ASHMORE, almost everybody knows everybody, because there is only one school, one church, and a couple of supermarkets. Maybe you'll stumble upon someone you don't recognize, but that someone was probably that someone you've seated on a bus with, or a classmate from high school. Minsanan lang magkaroon ng mga bagong lipat dahil sa sobrang layo ng town na 'to sa lugar sa bansa, kaya naman kapag may bagong lipat, expected nang sobrang OP ka.

When my parents died when I was 14, my only aunt (my mother's sister) didn't want to take me in. It was okay though, I didn't want to live with her too. Hinanapan niya ako ng bahay, binigyan ng pangsimulang pera, saka hindi na ako kinontak pa kahit kailan. I understand that my mother and her weren't in good terms because of some conflicts I won't bother tell, but I just didn't know that her anger was so extreme she'd send me miles and miles away. But as I said, it was okay.

She looked for a small town very far from where she lives. Binigyan niya ako ng bahay dito sa Ashmore, small enough for me. She informed me that it wasn't fully paid yet, so I must work my ass off if I don't want to live in the streets. As a 14 year old kid I was scared, I felt lost, but Ashmore was a kind town, and it felt like home. The crime rate is low, the neighborhood is kind, no riots ever happen. It is an ideal town.

The first weeks I started to live in Ashmore, I was given food, cake, cookies, and sometimes mothers cook me breakfast. Narinig kasi nila na may 'ulilang bata' na nakatira sa Weston Road at mag-isa lang siya, so mothers were extremely worried and even one of them wanted to take me in. And then because it just felt like home, and happy and bright, I became happier the way I never thought I would be. Inakala ko talagang magmumukmok lang ako.

See, I was close with my parents. Losing them within a night and waking up to an angry aunt telling me she will never take me in was all too much for me. Had it not been for my kind neighbors, I wouldn't have made it this far.

Eventually, when the neighbors realized I was already okay (Ate Yinya taught me how to cook), they left me alone. Then suddenly at 15, I felt like an adult ready to face the world.

It was amazing, really. To remember how I managed. Using my parents' money as a headstart, I bought myself furnitures from Mr. Bob's shop (he also helped me organize them), I enrolled myself, taught myself how to ride a bus, taught myself to be by myself, independent, responsible. And then I grew.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad my aunt threw me away. Siguro maaga akong mamamatay sa puder niya.

I'm now 17 years old, 11th grader, HUMSS student. I work my ass off at a small coffee shop and I'm thinking of my broken microwave and Cinna as of the moment.

First off — my microwave. Napaka-convenient ng microwave para sa akin. It helps me heat up food because I hate cooking every morning, so having it broken is such an unfortunate event — I feel like I've been broken up with. I'm broke as hell so I still don't have enough money to fix it or to buy another one, which means I probably gotta endure cooking every fucking meal time.

And, secondly, Cinna. Cinna is from another strand, ICT, at suking customer siya ng coffee shop namin. The shop's manager, Tanya, told me to just hit on her already because after all she doesn't give a shit, but even with her consent, alam kong hindi ko kayang lumapit kay Cinna para gumawa ng move. I feel like we're two different species and being close with her for even a meter would make me feel like I'm violating something: some invisible laws of crushing or something. I tried explaining this to Tanya but she just blew cigarette smoke to my face and said, "bullshit."

Well, what the hell does she know. She gets any boy she wants. She probably doesn't know what heartbreaks mean, because she breaks hearts. I asked her would she give a chance to a boy like me, and the woman laughed so hard her pixie hair waved and her round earrings chimed. She flatly said "no".

See?

"I mean, look. You're not my type, kid," she said as if I didn't know. "You're tall, but barely have any muscles. You're not tanned and not pale either. You don't have piercings. Your eyes are brown. I don't like you physically, plus, you're fucking shy." She rolled her eyes.

I made a face. The 25 year old woman. She just likes older guys.

"That's for me, okay? Pero sa babaeng 'yon . . ." Her eyes squinted. "I think she'll like you."

Muntik kong mabitawan ang tasa na hinuhugasan ko. She laughed and stuffed her cigarette on the counter.

"Parehas kasi kayong mahilig sa libro."

Slowly, a smile crept up to my face. It was apparently the reason why I liked her so much. I just saw her reading Twisted Tree by Kent Meyers while drinking coffee, her round glasses reflecting to the orange lights of the shop, her slender fingers flipping every page. God, I loved that book so much I read it over three times. Sinulatan ko nga rin ng review ang librong 'yon sa Good Reads, e. Seeing a cute girl reading it and enjoying it the way I did made me crush on her so hard.

I see her everyday at school, and sometimes I would even pretend to read Twisted Tree across her, doing my extreme best to impress her but she just never looked. Maybe because I am ugly.

"Pangit ba 'ko?" I asked Tanya.

She just laughed. "So-so."

Where would that so-so bring me? I decided never to ask Tanya about my appearance again.

Yesterday was Friday and I saw Cinna with her friends. As usual I was this stupid torpe, unable to hold a good composure, losing my shit just in the sight of her. Kahit wala siyang ginagawa, ang ganda pa rin niya. Even her bangs she cut out of boredom looked majestic.

"M-Mavin!"

Holy heavens of the Lord Jesus Christ, when she called me that out of the blue I swear I almost dropped my stuff. Sounds stupid, I know. Pierre and Tanya tells me that every goddamn time.

"C-Cinna." My heart was about to jump out of my chest.

"Uy." She waved to her friends and walked towards me. That blessed 12 seconds moment of her walking towards me felt as if the goddamn heaven went down for me. Fuck. That sounds ridiculously stupid.

"You work in Tanya's coffee shop, right?" I nodded. "Ano kasi . . . gusto ko rin sanang mag-apply do'n. I was wondering . . ." She cleared her throat. "Could you help me out?"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. What the hell did she just say?

I'm still thinking of that. I can't wait for Monday! I'll be with Cinna! Cinna!

Parang panaginip. I immediately told Pierre and he began punching my back that I almost inmediately regretted I told him. He said, "Bring her home, bro!" which I won't because I'm not as perverted as him. I know he's just joking, but still.

Tumayo ako mula sa couch, saka dumiretso sa closet kong nasa kwarto. While looking for a decent shirt to wear on Monday, screams suddenly boomed outside.

Now, it's unusual to hear screams in Weston road. For me, Weston road is the quietest and the kindest street in Ashmore because mostly, married couple without children and only grandmothers live here, plus mothers with middle-aged children. I know a few teenagers but they're normal kids away from liquors and drunk parties, so almost nothing happens.

Out of curiosity, I dropped my interest in searching for a good shirt and peeked outside. What I saw up on the skies startled the shit out of me.

I wore pajamas and headed out.

"Ano pong nangyayari?" I asked my nearest neighbor, Ate Jiha. She was frantic.

"May sunog!"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "S-Saan?"

"Kaylock," sabi niya, saka tumingin sa akin nang may nag-aalalang mga mata.

I stared up the skies. Punong-puno ng usok ang langit na nanggagaling ilang metro mula sa bahay namin. Suddenly, I felt so uneasy.

"Is it . . . bad?" I asked.

Ate Jiha looked worriedly at me and just told me to sleep. She assured me that the fire wouldn't reach us, as the firefighters are already doing their jobs. Tumango na lang ako saka pumasok sa bahay namin kahit hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko.

What bad may happen in just a simple fire?

I kept on of thinking that, but as I lay on my bed, staring up the ceiling . . . I have failed to bring myself to sleep.

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a/n: it's just starting!!!!! hope you guys read to the end. i love y'all!