Sometimes, it was easy to slip into a semblance of sanity.

As long as I didn't think too much, as long as I merely concentrated on my training, as long as I didn't come to face any of the Ellermans.

The moment that training was over, my mind would drift back to my father. I didn't know what to feel. Should I be angry? Betrayed? Or just upset?

"-any day now."

I glanced at Azure as someone nudged me sharply in my ribs and I turned to see Nia staring at me wide-eyed, gesturing at Azure, who I now realized was addressing me.

"Asterius-" he began, his eyes flashing. "Do you hear me?"

I nodded almost subconsciously. l though I hadn't heard what he had said, I knew it would be along the lines of how close the Ultimaria was now, and how the infestation was increasing even as we talked. Somehow, I couldn't find it in myself to care about either of those. I just wanted everything to be over, even if I didn't know what would happen to me once it was.

That night, long after silence had fallen and Aris had drifted to sleep beside me, I decided to go and see my dad. I wasn't really planning on saying anything to him. I didn't know if there was anything I could say to him. All I wanted was to see him.

The people who had taken refuge in the sognare usually remained in the previously unoccupied rooms. The corridors themselves remained deserted. I made my way downstairs in the deathly silence, my senses hyperactive as I climbed down the staircase and turned the narrow hallway which I knew led to the rooms. The only lead I had of where to find him was Azure's words uttered to me in passing. He was in the innermost room of the eastern hallway. He hadn't tried to see me. Perhaps some part of him knew what I knew? Perhaps he was relieved that the time he would be rid of me was finally here?

The corridors were thankfully empty, making my footsteps echo a bit too loud. I stood for a few seconds in front of the wooden doors, my mind blank as I knocked a few times on the frame and stepped back. Silence followed before I heard footsteps shuffling on the other side of the door and a few moments later, the door swung open.

My heart seemed to size up as I looked into the grey eyes I had known for so long. And yet somehow, saw a stranger.

"Ezekiel," he said softly before nodding. "Come in."

I clenched my fists, an unexplained tide of emotions rattling through me. It was clear that he didn't know yet that I was aware of the prophecy and the switch. How would he react if he knew? Would he deny it? Would he be angry? Ashamed?

"How are you feeling now?" I asked, a slight sense of relief to see him standing on his feet. I glanced around the otherwise empty room, wondering vaguely where Celeste was but not dwelling on it.

"Much better," he said. "I wasn't....expecting you to return," he said quickly. 

"Oh," I shuffled my feet. "I didn't either."

"Well...I'm glad you did," he said. I wondered silently if he cared about Andreas' passing. From what I could tell, there was scarcely any kind of bond between them, but he was his father nonetheless. "Saved a lot of us. Saved me."

"Do you remember my mom, dad?" I asked, his words barely comprehensible to me. Even though his face was dimly lit, I could tell he was taken aback by the question as he pursed his lips, studying me intently.

"Why...do you ask that?"

I shrugged. "Just curious."

"I do remember her," he said. "She...she was a rather remarkable woman."

I scoffed as the temperature in the room dropped. "I've never seen her do anything remarkable really. I don't know where you get that from."

He didn't answer, still studying me with an unflinching gaze. "I assume you...you were too young to truly recognize her then."

I shrugged again, fixing my gaze on the floor instead. "Apparently I'm not the best at recognizing people anyway."

I could hear a sharp intake of breath from him and knew that he suspected that I already knew about his plan. "Who all...know about it, Augustus?"

His name slipped like venom from my tongue before I even got a chance to truly rationalize what I was about to say. He didn't respond right away, playing dumb as he stuttered, "About...what?"

"The prophecy. The two children who were mentioned. Your plan to kill me instead of your son. Who all know about it?"

A thick, deafening silence fell. One that I had never experienced with him. And it didn't matter that I wanted to feel angry, it didn't matter that I should've felt betrayed. All I did feel was a masochistic sense of satisfaction.

"Andreas told you," he sighed finally and I was momentarily surprised that he hadn't tried to deny it.

"Yes," I said, finally glancing at him. "And I assume, Azure knew. The rest of the Deus?"

"I didn't plan it," he said. "It just happened."

I remained quiet, not knowing what to say as he rambled on.

"The moment that Elijah was born, they told me that he was supposed to be the prophetic child. The one who would have to die to save Obscura. And I...I couldn't let that happen. I was desperate and years later when...Silverman found you. And I could tell that your powers were special."

"Did you come up with that?" I asked, my voice alien to my ears. "Did you plan the entire thing?"

He nodded slowly. "I...I pitched the idea to Azure and he told me it could work. And it was the only way...it looked like the only way."

"And that's why you never doubted my inheritance," I said softly, something heavy in my chest. A cold ghost of trust. A bellowing hollowness. "Because you needed me to be an Ellerman. To be the prophetic child. To be the scapegoat."

"I was desperate, Zeke," he said, his voice breaking. "I...I wasn't really thinking. I had to save my son."

"And what am I?" I asked, "Apart from your scapegoat of course."

I didn't mean to sound the way that I did, but all the betrayal was finally seeping into my brain as I slowly comprehended how disgustingly twisted it all was. Who were my parents then? 

"It was...easier back then, Zeke," he said, desperation evident as he took a step forward, his eyebrows furrowed. "I...I didn't care about anything other than saving Elijah. But now-"

"Now it's too late," I stated, taking a step back from him. "You already made your choice. You already chose to save him."

"If...if there was any other way-" he took a rattled breath. "If I could offer myself instead of either of you, I would. But there's no-"

"You had no choice. You never seem to," I said, clenching my fists as I glared at him, anger bolting down my body like electric shocks. "That is why you only did the minimum. Just to keep me alive. So I could die on your terms."

"It's...not my terms, Zeke," he said, his voice quivering slightly. "I didn't...I didn't want this. This is something I did years ago. When you were nothing except a name and an entity to me and all I wanted was to save Elijah."

"That's all I will be to you soon, Augustus," I said slowly, my chest hollow. "Will you bury my dead body as your son? Or just a name an entity?" I spat.

"Zeke..please-" he took another heaving breath. "I-"

"This is what you wanted, didn't you? Then I want you to fucking watch me die."

"I won't pretend like I don't deserve your hate, Zeke," he said, his voice infuriatingly calm. "All I'm saying is...I...I wish it didn't have to happen. I...I regret everything I planned."

"I don't understand why," I said. "Everything worked out at the end, didn't it? You managed to save your son. Congratulations."

Anger surged through me in destructive tides. So much so that in the split moment, I wanted to ruin everything. I wanted to blast the man in front of me to smithereens. I couldn't believe the sheer strength of hatred I suddenly felt for him. I was sure if it merely stemmed from anger and betrayal, all I knew was that I had never hated anyone more. Not even Geoffrey, who had never really pretended to care for me. Unlike the man in front. Pretence was all he had done. 

I wanted to say something more. But I couldn't bring myself to. I hated the idea of breaking down in front of him now. He didn't deserve it.

I turned on my heel and stomped back out the way I had come, aware of the thick silence behind me, and ashamed of the thicker tears now streaming down my face.