Elijah stared at his reflection the full-length mirror in his room. His eyes were haunted, dark circles adorning them. He had tried hard to look civilized for the occasion, but it was turning out to be much more challenging than he had thought.

He took shuddering breaths, raking a hand through his hair as he gazed at his reflection again, at the tuxedo they had specially made for the occasion. For the night that he was to be tied to a stranger forever.

He had only met the Royal Family of Myrion once, almost a decade ago. Elizabeth, their eldest daughter had been fourteen at the time, a year elder to his 12. He didn't remember much about her.

He took another deep breath, his heart numb. He felt like his chest was hollow. Icicles forming as a blizzard raged inside him. And yet he knew, it was too late to turn back now. He gazed silently at the mirror and started at a soft knock on the door. He sighed softly, his breath inconspicuous as if even that was forbidden. He gazed at the ornate wall clock. He still had about twenty minutes before the engagement began.

He struggled to keep his voice even as he yelled out. "Come in."

The door opened an inch as his heart froze in trepidation. He heaved a tiny sigh of relief when he saw that it was Meredith, almost back to her usual immaculate self. He felt slightly comforted that she seemed to be doing better, although his heart was too broken to feel anything at all.

Apollo bounded inside, panting happily as he ran little circles around Elijah's feet. He almost smiled at the joyful innocence, but somehow couldn't get himself to. He still was unsure where she had got the puppy from, but at least it seemed to help her cope. 

She walked over to him, standing beside him at the mirror. She wore a long, nude dress with intricate lace on her chest and wrist. Her hair framing her face in soft waves, seeming to shimmer in the gold light.

"It's good to see you, Mer," Elijah said softly.

She half-smiled at him, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. "But it's terrible to see you like this, Elijah."

He sucked in a breath and tore his eyes away from her, proceeding to sit on the bed, averting her gaze. It felt like sharing a womb had given her some unnatural superpowers which enabled her to know everything about him. What he was thinking. What he was feeling. Sometimes even before he knew it himself. He scratched behind his ear as he spoke. "I'm just tired."

She sighed and walked over to him, her arms crossed as she gazed at him. "You don't have to you know. You don't love her."

"I don't have to love her."

"Of course you do," Meredith said as she sat beside him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "I know that granddad refused but maybe Elizabeth will understand. If you just speak to her-"

"It'll be insulting." Elijah said, trying to extinguish the painful flicker of hope in his heart that he knew would only lead to excruciating agony. "To tell her anything now...it's an international issue."

"It doesn't have to be Elijah. You don't need to-"

"Mer, please."

She fell into silence. Apollo slowly walked over to the pair of them, his tail down. His brown eyes gazing intensely at Elijah as if understanding his pain.

"I...I don't know how to end things with Castalia. I don't know how I can." He hated how his voice broke at the last syllable, his heart wrenching at the mention of her name. Her name seemed to singe off his tongue as he spoke.

"Then don't." Meredith insisted. "You have to stand up for what you want Elijah. Just this once. You can't-"

"Don't you understand?" Elijah spoke impatiently, his voice rising slightly in defiance as he turned to face her. "This isn't about me. This is about something that is much bigger."

"It's not, Elijah. It's really simple. Even Elizabeth deserves to know the truth. You love someone else-"

Elijah scoffed. "Love is fucking stupid. I am not going to rely on it to make a decision for my country. We need them as allies."

"Allies can be forged through-"

"They will not be as strong. Liable to a betrayal that can cause devastation."

"Elijah, you can't give up on love like this. You have to give it a chance. You have to hold on –"

"Funny that you're the one lecturing me on love." Elijah said, gazing at her, his eyes cold. "Seeing that your belief in love made you end up with a drug addict boyfriend who would've died of an overdose if he hadn't been shot. I think that pretty much negates your advice."

He sucked in a breath as soon as the words were out of his mouth, regretting them instantly. He couldn't understand the heartless, white-hot anger surging through him. Maybe he was envious of the fact that she had the luxury of refusing the burden of the crown. He felt like a criminal for having such disgusting selfish thoughts.

Meredith glanced away from him, her shoulders trembling as he took a deep breath.

He felt his heart wrenching as she turned to face him, her eyes bright with tears. "You're right. My advice is invalid. However-" she gulped, taking a shuddering breath, "what I do know is that you have a choice to keep her. While he was taken from me. I don't want you to go through that pain, Elijah. Trust me-" her eyes flashed in anger, "you are not strong enough."

Elijah bit his lip and glanced away from her agonized face. He wanted to apologize to her, but he didn't want to seem weak. He didn't want to hope.

She rose to her feet without another word and left the room, Apollo slowly trudging along sadly. She shut the door behind him, leaving him in deafening silence.



                                                                                      *


Elizabeth was beautiful. 

Elijah could appreciate her beauty even though it felt like he had a dagger stuck in his throat. Inadvertently, he had found himself comparing her caramel skin with Castalia's. He found himself comparing the blood red lips to Castalia's petal like, soft pink ones. He found himself comparing her hazel eyes to her crystal ones. 

He stood silently in the ballroom, his mind wandering. A permanent weight seemed to have settled in his stomach, making his anguish so tangible that each breath felt like a chore. He gazed, unseeing as his grandfather stood on the podium giving a speech that most of the nobles congregated at the ceremony listened to with rapt attention. 

He let his eyes wander around the ballroom, gazing at the satin black and gold hangings that decorated it today. The official colours of the Ellerman household. Once he was engaged to Elizabeth, he would officially be the king regent, a post that had previously been empty. 

He sighed deeply, fixing his gaze on the intricate lace in font of him on the table. Soft, merry music was playing on the background as Andreas' speech finished in a hearty applause. He gazed silently at Elizabeth, his to-be-wife and felt like someone had impaled his heart. It wasn't right. None of it was right. 

A waiter came along, bowing in courtesy and offering him a tray full of drinks to choose from. He mused as he gazed at the enticing liquid. He knew there was no way Andreas would approve of him drinking at his own engagement, unless it was in extremely limited quantities. But Elijah felt knew that he couldn't go on without an escape. 

Trying not to feel guilty, he reached for a glass and drank it, feeling his fiancee's eyes on him. She however, remained quiet,  something for which Elijahy was thankful. He let the bitter, hot taste of the alcohol hit the back of his throat, electrifying his sense for half a second before numbing them. He gestured to another server, and then another, and then another.

"Elijah," Elizaeth spoke, sounding concerned. "Are you alright? You have had six drinks already."

Elijah shook his head, his vision  slightly hazy. He was in his senses, yes, but everything seemed to matter less. "Yes," he lied. "Just...you know-" he lifted another glass and raised it to her, trying to smile, "occasion. Celebration. All...that."

She looked horrified, her hazel eyes round with worry. "El-"

Before she could finish, he had another drink in one go. The room was finally spinning around him. He could feel the incoming analgesia slowly crawling towards him and he wanted to rush forward and  embrace it. He reached for another one before a soft female hand clasped his. 

"El, stop."

He blinked dizzily and  glanced at Evie who had taken the empty chair beside him and was gazing at him with concern. Her eyes moved to Elizabeth and then back at him.  Elijah tried hard to focus, but his vision was too compromised to make out anything. He placed the drink back on the table, feeling his head throb. 

Evie spoke softly to him, however, he couldn't get himself to string the words into coherence. He was vaguely aware of Evie gently pulling him to his feet and leading him towards the central hall, a bewildered Elizabeth in tow. He was vaguely aware of the fanfare, the loud din, the vortex of colours and lights that followed as he slipped the ring onto his fiancee's finger. He was half afraid he would collapse, but the sense of floating timelessly was much better than being completely aware. 

They soon retook their seats after about a dozen nobles congratulated him, to which he replied with an acknowledging nod. He felt his senses returning slowly and he indulged in drinks again before they could truly return. And this time, he embraced the blissful analgesia that came over him.  

                                                                                              *

When he came to, he was lying on his own bed, gazing up at the creme coloured ceiling with the intricate carvings that had never made sense to him even as a child. He was aware of a soft, warm hand on his forehead that he recognized as his mother's. His head was throbbing, he barely remembered how or why he got here. A sense of dread clenched his stomach and he slowly opened his burning eyelids to gaze at his mother. 

"What...happened?"

His voice was hoarse and he felt terrible fear in the pit of his stomach. How long had it been? Had he caused a scene in front of everyone? 

His mother sighed, her blue eyes concerned as she gently stroked his forehead. He was stunned to see how tired she looked, her blond hair falling in ringlets as it came  loose from the intricate knot on her head. "You passed out, honey," she spoke softly, her brows furrowed. "There...while leaving. You stood up and then just...passed ut."

Elijah cursed under his breath. That was why his elbow throbbed painfully. He must have broken his fall with it. He opened his mouth to say something before the door to his room burst open. He sat straight up, pain jolting up his head at the sudden movement and saw his Grandfather staring at him. His face was impassive. Eyes so cold they chilled Elijah's very core.

"Celeste," he spoke gently. "I would like a word in private with Elijah, please."

Elijah's heart seized. There was no way it could be good news. He almost grasped his mother's wrist to beg her to stay, he couldn't bear the thought of facing his grandfather after the absolute disaster.  However, she nodded and rose to her feet. 

"Where's dad?" Elijah asked her suddenly, hoping and praying that he wouldn't have to face Andreas alone. 

"He received a call and...left," his mother sighed, looking worried. "Didn't tell me where. Just said that it's urgent. Lisette went with him."

"He...he left?" Elijah felt a strange destructive heat in the pit of his stomach. "It was my engagement and he just...left?"

His mom's eyes clouded over for a second before they flitted to Andreas, who was staring at he pair coldly. "It must have been urgent, honey," she said softly. "I'll..I'll leave you for now."

She turned and Elijah's heart sank as she left the room, shutting the door behind her so he and Andreas were alone. 

"I have never been this humiliated my entire life, Elijah." Andreas spoke, his voice trembling with suppressed, bone-chilling rage. "You have made quite of spectacle of yourself. The future king getting drunk at his own engagement party and crashing onto his own buttocks in front of the most illustrious nobles of Obscura. Truly, quite entertaining. You seem more fit to be a court jester than a king."

Elijah sighed wearily. He remained quiet, knowing that he had no defence.  He had been irresponsible, selfishly. But then, that seemed to be all he was.

"I...I didn't mean to," he said, his voice sounding hollow. He managed to glance at Andreas as he continued. "I just...I was nervous-"

"Evimeria will fall to damnation under your reign, Elijah. I can see it now," Andreas stood up to his full height as his eyes flashed. "Your wedding will take place next week. If you continue to make a fool of yourself I shall have you imprisoned and have you treated the way you truly deserve."

His ruthless words felt like needles against Elijahs woozy brain. He remained silent. Just like he always had. 

Adreas took a deep breath before turning and leaving the room without another word. He left in his wake a silence so deafening that Elijah felt his heart collapse under his own catatonic emotions.