Finally I had saved enough money to go to the Smashing Pumpkins concert. It was hard to remain quiet while being really exited. But soon I was inside the hall where the concert took place and even stood in the front. Right in front of me stood a boy around my age. The only problem was his height. I couldn't see anything. But after some time I got used to it and enjoyed every moment...

...until someone pushed me and I fell on the boy in front of me. 

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Are you okay? I didn't mean to fall on you, somebody pushed me!", I was really anxious, because the boy looked angry and I didn't want to be beaten up on the concert of my favourite band.

"It- it's fine" His facial expression changed and he grabbed my hand, lifting me onto my feet. His touch sent a weird warm feeling through my body and I felt my cheeks turning red. My biggest wish was to disappear and forget the emberassment of falling on a cute boy in front of me.

But then my eyes met the boy's hazel ones and I forgot about everything. 

I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. There was something in his eyes that paralyzed me. Suddenly my biggest wish was to never look away. Mikey let go of my hand and chuckled and the warm feeling vanished.

Someone coghed and the boy looked away. I didn't know why, but it made me sad. I didn't want the boy to leave, I knew I'd never see him again once he's gone.  

"I don't wanna interrupt you, but Mikey, we have to go home", another boy, I guess it was the brother of Mikey, said. Mikey smiled at me and waved, our eyes meeting for the last time.

"Pete, c'mon!" My best friend called me and it was really hard not to punch him.

Years went by, ten to be exact, but I couldn't forget that boy, Mikey. It was absurd, I didn't know anything besides his name and that he was a Smashing Pumpkins fan. And I remebered his beautiful hazel eyes behind his glasses. They were the most beautiful eyes I ever saw.

"Guys, we have a little problem. I know I said we're meeting My Chemical Romance tomorrow, but we're meeting them today. In a hour." Patrick said while entering the cafe Joe, Andy and I were currently sitting in. I was ready to slap Patrick, there's no way one hour would be enough time to get ready for meeting the band we'd be touring with. But of course I didn't slap him, an angry Patrick was really scary.

An hour passed by way quicker than I thought an soon we met the guys from My Chemical Romance. Of course Patrick immediatly started to talk with a black haired guy, not eben bothering to introduce us.

"Well, let me introduce us first then." I said, earning an annoyed glance from Patrick because I interruoted him. "So this here is Patrick, that's Joe, and beside him is Andy. And I'm..." Suddenly my eyes met the hazel ones of a guy leaning against the bus. Althought the last time I saw them was ten years ago I was pretty sure the eyes belonged to Mikey from the Smashing Pumpkins concert.

"Pete?" He squeaked surprised. It sounded cute.

"M-mikey?" I asked and he laughed. "No way!" I exclaimed while hugging him.

"Yes Way!" He said and I laughed because I remebered how Patrick told me his and Gerards last name was Way.

"I never thought I'd see you again!" He said excidet while pulling away but leaving his arms on my shoulders.

And suddenly I felt the warm feeling again. The feeling I felt when our hands touched ten years ago. I felt my cheeks turning red, exactly like they did ten years ago. The whole situation reminded me of the concert ten years ago.

"Y-yeah, me too. How've you been?" I asked to distract myself, hoping he didn't see me blush.

"Fine" He answered. We kept talking, after all we didn't see each other since 1995, but we never looked away. And even if I wanted to, something in this hazel eyes stopped me from breaking the eye contact.  But after some time it got a bit uncomfortable because he was that tall.

"God, you're still as tall as I remember" I said and he laughed.

"Your eyes still hold that same shimmer i remember" he said and I could swear he blushed even more. But I could feel my own cheeks burning so it was okay I guess.

"Why didn't we think of keeping in touch?" I asked and he shrugged.

"We were young and dumb and cought in the moment I guess" he replied and I nodded. It seemed logical.

"Probably. How did you never forget me?" I asked and looked away. Out of sudden I felt shy.

"I... Dunno" he said, thinking and looked at the ground. "I suppose I could ask you the same."

"I guess you intrigued me more than anything. I was itching to know you better but we didn't keep in touch so we couldn't." I explained and looked up again.

We sat on a bench next to the road and forgot the whole world around us. It was like there wasn't anybody besides us.

"Yeah that makes sense" he replied. His eye fall on his hands. It was silent, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes, studying his face.

"How come we never saw each other after that?" He broke the silence.

"I actually lived in Chicago, you lived in New Jersey." I replied and he nodded.

"That makes even more sense." He said while I saw Patrick walking in our direction. I didn't know why, but i really didn't want him to sit with us. I brushed the thought off, telling myself I just wanna talk to Mikey because we didn't see each other for that long.

"Hey, we gotta get on the road soon you two." I stood up and offered Mikey my hand even though it wasn't needed. He blushed and smiled taking it which was really adorable. I felt the fuzzy, warm feeling again and really liked it, so I didn't drop his hand but swung it between us. I was relieved, because it didn't seem to bother Mikey.

"God, there's so much to know about you now." I say and he giggled. God, it sounded so adorable. "There's really not. I'm not that interesting." I noticed Patrick looking at us and mouthing a "Ship it" which causes me to roll my eyes.

"C'mon Mikey! Where did you go?" We heard Gerard asking while looking at our hands. We both pulled out hands away, blushing more then before. "U-uh down the road to a bench." He said nervous. He smirks and rolls his eyes. "Well, we gotta go. Plus I don't think you should be getting so close to people we don't know" He said obviously not caring about me sitting right there.

Mikey looked at me, then back at his brother. Suddenly he seemed angry. "Maybe you could stop hassling me." He said quietly, looking his brother in the eyes.

"Hassling you? How am I hassling you?" Mikey crossed his arms on his chest and I was kinda scared now. It seemed like Mikey always kept his feelings inside and was about to explode now.

"You always are hurrying me for things, I'm barely allowed to be alone for 5 minutes without SOMEONE having to check on me, you're always harping on me to write more riffs, I barely have free time gee!" He said angrily, almost shouting.

Now I started feeling really uncomfortable. I didn't want to see Mikey explode so I slowly went to my tour bus, mumbling a "I'll let you two do your thing".

Even in the bus I could hear the Way brothers screaming at each other so I laid down in my bunk and listened to Smashing Pumpkins with my headphones. I smiled because I remebered the concert ten years ago. I was really happy that we got the chance to see each other again and even be able to talk. It was weird that we didn't forget each other, weird, but nice.

I heared a knock on the door and stood up to open. I saw Mikey standing there with an angry look on his face.

"Could I possibly ride with you guys? My tour 'bus' sucks." I raised an eyebrow at Patrick and he sighed but nodded. I smiled happily.

"This is what I'm saying, I physically can't say no to people." He said quietly to no one in particular.

"C'mon, I'll show you around the bus." I said grabbing his hand and pulling him inside. "Yeah, it's just your typical tour bus, out here's the lounge/ kitchenette, back here is the bunks, and right back there is the bathroom." Mikey smiled and I was really happy to see that, after all he just had a fight with his brother.

"Nice." He said, looking around the room.

"Right there's my bunk, so if you wanna chill there you can. In the meantime im gonna go get some snacks." Before I even finished he fell onto my bed and curled up in the corner. I chuckled and went away to grab some snacks. While taking the cookies I couldn't stop thinking about Mikey.

Is it possible to be in love with someone you saw one other time at a smashing pumpkins concert?

"Aw, our little Pete is in love!" I heard a voice behind me and saw Joe standing there smiling at me.

"S-shut up, idiot. I barely know him!" I say blushing. I knew he didn't believe me.

"Yeah, sure. Just make sure you close the door when you make out, I don't think I'm ready to see how grown up you are" He said dramatically, putting a hand on his heart and closing his eyes.

"Idiot" I said chuckling and boxed his shoulder lightly.

"I'm back- oh?" I saw Mikey basically buried into my bedsheets. He blushed and I giggled, while sitting down next to him, the cookies between us. He offered me some of my blankets which I took smiling.

"Well, it's gonna be a long 5 hour drive, you wanna watch a movie or two?" Mikey nodded and I grabbed my laptop. "Mkay, you get first pick, I get second." I said trying to act calm while something in my stomach was going crazy. I never understand why people always say that you get butterflies in your stomach when you love someone, but now I do... Wait, love?!

"The corpse bride!" Smiling Mikey told me which movie he wanted to watch when he saw I opened Netflix.

I chuckled. "Good choice" I said which made him blush and look away smiling. Honestly, his smile was so cute! I pluged in my headpnines and smiled, handung one to Mikey.

"As much as I love this movie, we gotta watch it with headphones so we don't disturb the others cause SOME PEOPLE" I said, glaring out at Joe who walked by with his mug in his hand. "Don't like it." Joe sticks out his tongue and walked over to his bunk. Mikey laughed and put the headphone in his ear. Only half an hour later Mikey laid his head on shoulder and I put an arm around him. We joked around while watching the movie and honestly, it was just amazing. I never thought I'd be lying on my bunk in a tour bus with someone I liked that much, watching a movie, with his head on my shoulder.  I wraped an arm around his shoulder and smiled down at him.

By the end of the movie I noticed Mikey getting tired. He looked up to me, his eyelids slowly opening and closing. I smiled taking the headphone out of his ear. I placed a pillow in my lap and patted it.

"Lay." I said, feeling heat rising to my cheeks. He smiled and laid his head down on my lap and closed his eyes. I put a blanket over him and started playing with his hair, while he quickly fell asleep.

~~~
God, how can someone look that adorable while sleeping? But sadly I had to wake him up.

"Hey Mikes, Mikey." He mumbled something half asleep and I chuckled. I lightly shaked his shoulders and he finally opened his eyes. I smiled down at him.

"I gotta wake you up since we're almost there and basically as soon as we get there we gotta play. So I think I wake you up with some time to spare." I got a soft groan as respond and smile.

"I know you don't wanna get up, but you gotta." He finally sat up, nearly hitting his head on the bunk above and rubbed his eyes. "Ugh, fine."

"Looks who's finally up sleepyhead." Patrick says to Mikey from his bunk, the only response he got was a tired wave from Mikey.

I smiled and went to the kitchen to get a mug of coffee for Mikey, I knew he loved coffee. When I hand it to him he squeals happily and claps his hands before taking it, which is really adorable.

"Thank youuuu!" He said and sipped his coffee from time to time while I looked at him, smiling and blushing.

"You must be special to Pete, he never shares his coffee with anyone!" Andy exclaimed while sitting down next to Patrick and looking at me confused. I blushed even more and looked at Mikey before looking down at my hands when our eyes met. He just laughed.

"I'm not saying I'm surprised buttt double thanks for that." Mikey said and I sighed while blushing even more, if it was even possible.

"Dammit Andy, couldn't you just have not said anything?" He just shrugged.

"I was just pointing it out! I saw gay, so I said gay!" He quotes as a response, before covering his mouth.

"...It's not bullying, it's an astute observation!" Mikey finished. For one moment we all were silent but then we broke out in laughter. I could see in Mikeys eyes that he was happy.

He was sipping his coffee while everybody else was talking and seemed to be physically unable to stop smiling. Even though he wasn't saying much I could see that his eyes were full of happiness.

I notided the bus slowing down in the middle of the street and saw a long line of cars in front of us when I looked outside the window. Luckily we still had enough time to reach the location of the concert.

After some time Patrick fell asleep and Andy went to Joe because he was bored.

"Wanna watch another movie?" I asked Mikey and he nodded, still smiling. It was my turn so I thought about the perfect movie for one moment and decided to watch Twillight. It wasn't the best movie, but the vampires kind of reminded me of Mikey.

Right after the first seconds of the movie Mikey laid his head on my chest and I wrapped my arm around him. Today definetly was one my favourite days.

"Did you know that people often think Gee and I are vampires?" Mikey asked while looking up at me. I smiled.

"Well you really look like one, you're really pale. But it doesn't make you less beautiful." I said and he blushed, hiding his face in my chest.

"Nooooo! Now I'm all flustered!" I just smiled at his adorableness and ruffled his hair, which made him blush even more.

"Do you even know what you do to me?" He asked, his voice muffled by my jacket. I laughed, he was too cute.

"Yup, I know fully well what I do to you."

"Asshole." He sighed. I laughed only more and played with his hair.

About an hour later the bus stopped and Andy came to wake Patrick up. Mikey and I stood up and went out of the bus. The MCR bus was already here and since we couldn't see them we assumed they already were inside the hall we're gonna play.

We went inside, where we found Gerard, Ray and Frank. Mikey hugged me and went to them, together they disappeared in a room.

Andy, Joe, Patrick and I went in the room with the tag "Fall out boy" on the door. We started getting ready for the concert when I noticed I forgot my cellphone in the bus.

I was running down the hall to the front door when I saw someone sitting in the corner, terribly shaking. As I looked closer I saw it was Mikey.

"Mikey? Hey, Mikey, what's wrong?" I asked while sitting down on the cold floor next to him. I wanted to hug him, but i knew that some people didn't like body contact while having a panic attack or something like that. To my surprise he leaned on me and gripped my t-shirt like his life depended on it. I carefully put my arm around his shoulders and stroked his back with my other hand.

"Mikey, luckily I found you. Here, some water. And remember the breathing exercises?" Frank said sitting down next to us. Now I was pretty sure Mikey was having a panic attack and I really hoped it'll get better soon. It hurt to see him like that. Mikey started to breathe calmer but refused the water. To my relief the sobs stopped and he calmed down again. Frank looked at me like I was a genius wgich caused me to hide my face in Mikeys hair.

When he was sure Mikey really calmed down Frank leaved, mombling something about "telling Gee". Mikey looked up to me and mumbled: "I'm sorry." I sighed, which caused him to stand up and grab the water bottle. "I'm sorry you had to see all of this." He said and drank some wter.

I stood up too and took his hand in mine, smiling.

"No, don't be. We all have moments when we don't feel good and we all need somebody to help us. That's what I'm here for, to help you, to be with you." I said and looked him in the eyes. To my relief I saw him smiling.

"I-i'd like that." He said, slowly leaning on my shoulder. I put an arm around him and we went to the bathroom to fix him up a bit before the concert starts.

When I saw Mikey in the bathroom light mmy smile faded. He was paler than usual, his eyes were red and his hair a mess. It wouldn't be easy to fix this in ten minutes. We hid most of his hair under his beanie and I lightly pinched his cheeks to bring some color back in his face. But his eyes stayed red, no matter how long he washed them with cold water. Suddenly an idea came to my mind. I took out the eyeliner I had in my pocket and smiled at him.

"Y'know, the best way to hide red eyes is to cover them in black eyeliner." I saw his hsoked expression and chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't put on much, just a bit. Trust me, it'll look hella good on you." He looked at me, then nodded.

"Close your eyes." I told him and put my hand on his cheek. I drew the thin line on both eyes and carefully wiped water drop that somehow still was on his eyelashes away with my thumb.

Suddenly our eyes met again and I wasn't able to look away or move, my hand was still on his cheek. Slowly, not breaking the eye contact, we moved closer, our lips almost touching.

"Pete, Mikey, I'm so glad I found you! We have to go on stage in- Did I interrupt something?" Ray opened the door and questioned while we still were stnading there, almost kissing.

"No, you didn't. We'll be there in a few seconds." I said and Ray left. I was ready to kill him.

Till the door opened.

"A-are you sure you feel well
enough to play?" I asked him worried. He giggled blushing, and nodded. I softly sighed and move away, so Mikey could get down, which he did. We walked out together and I could feel him getting nervous so I took his hand in mine. Mikey took a deep breath before he let go of my hand, grabbed his bass and walked over to his band mates.

~~~~

Mikey walked off stage and shot me a bright smile across the room. He pulled the bass strap over his head and laid it in it's case. Then he walked by next to me, smiling, and I grabbed his arm, my cheeks turning red.

"Oh, hey! I was looking for you. We only have a few minutes. You did really good up there! I'm proud of you." I said and smiled.

"Thanks." He giggled and kissed my cheek, which caused me to blush even more. "Kill it out there." Now I was sure my cheeks were so red you could see them in the dark.

"Y-yeah, thanks." I replied, walking away to do the sound check.

~~~~

While we were playing Mikey sat on the side of the stage, because I didn't want him to be in the crowd considering his fear of crowds. Also it was easier to look at him from time to time when I didn't have to search him in the crowd. I walked up to my mic and smiled at Mikey, who smiled back.

"This song is about revenge. Right Mikey? Revenge!" He laughed and nodded, taking a sip from the coke zero Ray handed him a few minutes ago. I smiled, because I noticed Mikey mothing along to the lyrics of "where is your boy/grand theft". Suddenly I realized he could only know the lyrics if he listened to the songs...

"Yes, I listened to all of them." I blushed after hearing Miky shouting, realizing I didn't think that, I said it. And because I still was in front of my mic, everyone heard me. After I pushed the thought of leaving the country and changing my name aside I felt proud of Mikey. Only a few hours ago he was sitting in a corner, having a panic attack and now he was shouting in front of everyone, while radiating confidence.

As soon as the venue closed I heard someone running from behind me, but before I could turn around I felt two strong arms pulling me into a bone crushing hug. I immediatly knew it was Mikey.

"Can't.. Breathe." He immediatly loosened his grip but didn't let go. I chuckled and turned around so I could hug him back.

"Thank you." Mikey said and chuckled softly. I play with the hair on the back of his head while trying to think of a reason he would thank me.

"For what?" I eventually ask.

"For never forgetting, cause if it weren't for you... I dunno where I'd be right now. Probably in the van with my brother and those dorks, arguing about dungeons and dragons." I laugh and carefully let go of him. He still was close, but now I could look him in the eyes.

"Mikey.." I began, staring into his beautiful, hazel eyes. "How could I ever forget someone so... So perfect and unique and-and extravagant as you? Even if the only other memory I have of you so far is me falling on you at a smashing pumpkins concert, it was enough. Enough for me to tell how special and amazing you where in 15 seconds."

I could see him blushing and I knew that I was too, but I didn't care.

"But as I've grown to know you more today, it's only made me realize more. More of how great you are! Mikey Way, I don't think I've met anyone anything like you!" My voice echoed in the empty venue.

"I must be dreaming.." He said, smiling.  "Kiss me if I'm not."

I shruged, trying to look confident while I was more nervous than ever before. I got onto my tippy toes, reached for Mikeys chin and softly pulled him in. I lokked him in the eyes to make sure he really wanted this, but they were already closed.

Then I closed the gap between our lips.

I couldn't describe what I felt, but it was unlike everything I ever felt before.

~~~

I pulled away and Mikey just stood there, motionless, staring into the distance.

"Does that help you at all?" I asked, smirking slightly.

"I-i dunno- maybe try again?" He said and I chuckled, before kissing him again.

This time was even better than before. My arms were wrapped around his shoulders, his were around my waist, pulling me closer.

"Now do you understand that this is reality?" He took a deep breathe and half-smiled.

"I feel like if you do that again I might faint. So as much as I'd like to say no, it probably wouldn't end well." He cofessed, blushing even more.

I laughed, feeling myself blushing even more. Mikey pecked my cheek and smiled, but when we heard a set of footsteps, his smile faded. Someone cleared his throat and even before we looked up, I knew it was Gerard.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Gerard started. "But that's not the only thing I'm sorry for. I'm sorry for the whole outburst earlier, you where right." Mikey just furrowed his eyebrows.

"I really wasn't thinking about you. I wasn't thinking about how you may be feeling. You never put up a fight, so I thought you where just ok with everything. I forgot to ask cause I thought you'd say something. I was In denial earlier, but I see now that.. you where right. I'm so sorry. We just- gained so much popularity and I guess it got to my head since I never really did think about your personal life. I just thought about success, and the bands future a bit to much." Mikey sighed, letting go of me and putting his hand on Gerard's shoulder.

"Gee," He said, chuckling a bit.

"I get it. I understand how much you love this band and the whole reason why we where created. To change people's lives, hell, the world. I get that you want to make that happen, and it's ok to want success. No one should have the rights to take that away from you and there shouldn't ever be a reason for them to. But with that comes others. I know you think all of us are fine, but we're not all ok. you yourself aren't ok, we have a whole ass song about it! And I know all of the guys act ok around you, but they aren't. Have you ever seen Ray after practice? He's icing his fingers cause they hurt so bad. Frank is trying to calm me down from a panic attack often times because I feel like I'm failing your expectations of me. Frank isn't doing well himself, I've seen the cuts on his arms. You gotta cool it down." Mikey said and I was shocked. Gerard nodded, a guilty expression on his face. I could swear I even saw tears in his eyes.

"Oh lord.." is all he said, placing a hand on his lips in shock. Gerard looked at the wall behind Mikey. "What have I done?"

"It's not what you've done that matters," I said. "It's what you can do about it now." Mikey giggled. 

"I feel like you're quoting something, hm?" Mikey said, pointing at the two of us. I laughed.

"I am. Besides the point however. Go make things better. Things might be ok right now, but they could be better and now that you know that, you can do something about it." Gerard nodded.

"Thank you." He said, hugging Mikey and me and I hugged him back.

"Of course." He walked away and both Mikey and I hoped he would fix what he has done, even if it wasn't on purpose.

"Rays gonna kill me for saying that." Mikey said, grabbing my hand while we walked out.

I just squeezed it, smiling like an idiot.

I finally knew what love was.