It was certainly a huge turn of events to find out your parents had obviously died. Granted that's not something I can get over with in a few days. But, my whole life I'd been facing these huge obstacles. Instead of getting around them, I'd sit in front of them and throw a pity party.

Now I'm not saying my parents death is an obstacle. That'd be heartless. But it's a turning point in my road and whether I want to or not I gotta drive through this.

And some could say that maybe Billie was the one behind the steering wheel driving me through it. And I wouldn't disagree.

"And then Tre thought it would be good idea to throw a glass bottle of beer across the room for Mike to catch," Billie began laughing already. "Of course it wasn't. The glass shattered everywhere in the backstage room and the cleaner was not happy with Tre,"

I guess he always had been the one getting me through things. As best as he could.

"Sometimes I'm sure that Tre does not have the willpower to second guess his actions," I replied laughing slightly.

The two of us were sat at the kitchen table as Billie caught me up on their show last night while I was sleeping. I did feel guilty I didn't go. Although he consoled me I shouldn't be.

"Sometimes I'm sure that Tre is just a moron," Billie shrugged jokingly.

"Did I just hear someone call me a moron?" The familiar voice asked as Tre followed by Mike entered the kitchen.

Billie squinted looking concerned. "How the fuck did you get in here?"

Mike shrugged. "Your door was unlocked. Makes it really easy for people to just walk in and out when they please,"

I looked over at Billie trying not to smile at his forgetfulness. "Billie Joe,"

"...Yes?"

"When you got home last night did you forget to lock the front door?"

"I may have..."

"Well don't worry." Mike spoke back up, taking the spare seat at the kitchen table beside me. "We'll just be robbing you then leaving a few minutes after taking your valuables,"

"Very funny Mike," Billie nodded sarcastically.

"Well you're lucky we aren't robbers," Mike replied.

Tre took the seat beside Billie across from Mike mumbling as he sat down. "Speak for yourself Mikey,"

"Next time I'll remember to have my front door locked," Billie muttered.

Mike looked over to me with a small smile. "How you feeling Echo?"

Terrible. But for the point of this conversation it was fine to lie. "I'm better,"

"You sure?" He raised his brows.

"I mean- I'm still standing,"

Thinking about it made me wanna cry. It was a hard thing to start living around. It was a big thing to find out, especially so late. The guilt still felt heavy across my shoulders, but I tried to keep my mind off of it.

"Well Mike and I were thinking about taking a trip to the guitar shop if you guys wanna join," Tre suggested, shrugging easily as he leaned back in the chair he was in.

I realised Billie was looking at me. His eyebrows raised. I think he was asking me how I felt about that?

I mean, I didn't know if it'd be great to go feeling so shit. But I didn't wanna miss out. I didn't wanna begin isolating again. Maybe it would've been good to just take my mind off of things.

"That sounds good," I finally responded.

"Well looks like you two idiots are gonna have to wait here while we get ready," Billie smiled looking back to Mike and Tre.

Tre shrugged. "As long as you've got food in,"

"Leave my food alone,"

"Well I did say speak for yourself when Mike said he was a robber,"

Billie and I got up making our way up into the room. Billie walked over first to a window opening it before grabbing a packet of cigarettes he left on the draws.

"We don't have to go if you don't wanna y'know," Billie mumbled placing the cig between his lips. Searching for a lighter.

"I wanna go," I told him. "I don't wanna sit here and mourn on my own,"

"Well I'd stay here, if you wanted, with you,"

"It's just difficult to figure out what to do after hearing that, y'know?"

Billie nodded, finding a lighter in one of his draws as I continued.

"I feel like I found out so late I lost the right to mourn. Like I should be over it by now. But right now it feels like they've just died, and I skipped a funeral?"

Billie lit the end of his cigarette successfully taking a drag. "Mourning isn't something that's limited. There's no expiration date you have to be over it by. I still mourn over my dad," He shrugged.

As teenagers, Billie never mentioned much about his dad. If ever anything. I knew the basics. I mean of course with his stepdad? But Billie wasn't a very readable book back then.

I'd like to say I can read him better now. Maybe I got better at doing that, or maybe he got bored by having his defenses so high.

So I could sense the dampening feeling in the room with the mentioning of passed away parents. It was a hard thing to bring up.

But the inevitable is inevitable. So some things had to come out.

"I guess it just feels wrong to mourn if I never made the effort back then?" I questioned, mostly to myself. Trying to find some sort of answer for closure. Whatever closure an answer would bring me.

"Maybe it's worth speaking more to the girl who opened the door," Billie suggested blowing smoke through the open window.

"Elora?"

"If that was her name," He shrugged.

I thought about it. If there was closure to find she'd have it all. "Maybe,"

I sat in silence for a few seconds watching Billie continue smoking. There were nerves all around me, my stomach was like a tide. It felt so overwhelming.

"Can I finish that?" I finally asked.

Billie looked over at me confused what I was referring to. Until he realised the cigarette in his hands. "This?" He questioned holding it up.

"Yeah,"

"You don't smoke anymore?"

When the bar doors closed behind us, Billie pulled out a packet of camels cigarettes from his skinny Jeans pockets. "You still smoke?" He asked, taking one out as he placed it between his lips.

I shrugged. "Gave it up when I moved in with Willow,"

"Well... no, but I need a cigarette,"

"Echo you told me you quit, I don't wanna rope you back into that,"

I sighed frustrated. "It's a cigarette it's not drugs Billie Joe,"

"Well I'm not giving you drugs or a cigarette,"

"You have drugs?" I questioned for a second.

"Look. You left me and you quit smoking. I got left and I picked more habits up. That all,"

"Whatever." I huffed sitting up. As I made my way over to where my clothes were in a set of draws. Pushing them around as I tried to find some clothes. Until I pulled a sweater and jeans out. "I'm going to get changed,"

"Get changed where?" Billie questioned confused.

"In the bathroom,"

"Wait? So I don't give you a cigarette, and now you're gonna go change in the bathroom?"

"Yes Billie, I am,"

"So you're punishing me for not giving you a cigarette to smoke by changing in the bathroom? Changing in another room like we've not seen each other's body's before. Or that you're my girlfriend? Or that you live here?" He was chuckling by now at the stupidity he was expanding on my very short sentence.

It was stupid, yes I'll admit. Although very hard I can admit when I'm being over the top. Although it was just a cigarette, it was maybe more so the point he wouldn't give it me.

And yes. Some could say that's helping me. That I'm being silly, and I don't need a cigarette. That a cigarette won't help me mourn my parents or fight off any upcoming panic attacks. But it will in fact calm my nerves.

So I ignored Billie only giving him an eye roll before exiting out the room and down the hall into the empty bathroom.

After changing, I found the three boys all downstairs surrounding the kitchen table.

"There she is," Billie smiled as I entered.

"She doesn't look too happy," Tre replied.

"She's not," Billie told him. "More specifically with me,"

Mike looked at me, then glanced to Billie. "Well what did you do?"

"Nothing," He shrugged, leaning further back into the chair. "At least I don't think?"

Mikes eyes led back to me. "What's up Echo?"

"I'm not angry," I sighed. Standing up next to the table where the three boys looked towards me. "I just wanted a cigarette,"

"What's so wrong with that?" Tre questioned, face of confusion as he directed it to Billie Joe. "Give the girl a cig,"

"She's not smoking,"

"Echo use to smoke with us as teenagers loads of times? Why can't she smoke now?" 

"She quit Tre, that's why,"

Mikes eyes looked over at me widely. "You did? When?"

"When I moved in with Willow," I explained briefly. "She doesn't like smoking too much, and I was wanting to stop anyway,"

"Well now you've stopped, and you can stay like that, thanks to me," Billie smiled.

I glared at him for a few silent decide. Before Mike stood up. "Anyway- let's get going,"

"Good call," Billie mumbled.

Tre jumped up. "I call shot gun!"

"Dammit!"

"Snooze you lose Armstrong," Tre smiled.

The four of us made our way out of the house where Mikes car was parked on Billies long drive way behind his. Of course Tre was in shot gun, Mike was driving so Billie and I had found ourselves riding backseats.

Maybe it was weird to say, but this was all still so weird for me. Granted my mind has been thrown back and forth these past few weeks. Seeing Billie at a bar, having to re mend things with Tre, my parents, Elora.

But when someone says the name Billie Joe, in my mind I still picture the teenage boy I knew personally. Not the one I saw all those years on the television. The one that was clicking his pen behind me in math class, the one who was confused my name was actually Echo, the one I baked cookies within the first few days of knowing him in his mother's kitchen, the one who cheered me up in bowling, who signed his name across my forehead, took me to my first party then took me to his after I passed out, thought a plaster across his face was embarrassing, who fell out my closet and asked me to be his girlfriend. The boy who gave me his navy blue sweater who I had to wave goodbye to through the glass window of a coach.

Age had stained Billies face with creases, the same eyes and crooked grin. The same name, new style. More songs, same voice. Became a star, but still kept his love for me.

I still sometimes just had these realisations out of nowhere. It's weird reconnecting with someone. Will I always imagine that young baby face in my mind when someone asks me about Billie Joe Armstrong?

"You look like you're thinking deeply," He laughed beside me in the backseats.

My eyes moved to Billie. "I guess I am,"

"Are you still upset about that cigarette,"

"I was never upset about it. I just really, really needed one,"

"So you don't anymore?" Tre asked, I saw his blue eyes stare at me through the cars mirror.

"No- I do,"

"Y'know I've got half a pack of cigarettes you can have if you want 'em," Mike joined in.

Billies face instantly changed into distaste of Mikes comment. "Mike, she's quit,"

"She wants a cig Bill, I'm throwing the dog a bone. No one else will,"

"It's not just throwing the dog a bone," Billie sighed crossing his arms.

"I don't care what it is, put your seatbelt on back there Beej," Tre scolded slightly. "I don't wanna get pulled over, and you get me in trouble,"

Billie huffed again reaching for his saftey belt.

Mike continued. "And plus, she's going through a lot. I think starting smoking again may be one of the least of her worries,"

I smiled at the fact that Mike was understanding. That it wasn't just that I fancied wanting to start smoking again. But either way Billie didn't like it.

"Fine." He gave in, his eyes followed back over to me. "Smoke if you wanna,"

Mike moved around a little in his seat in front of me before his arm reached over passing me the carton of cigarettes as I thanked him. Billies eyes staring the whole time. 

Although no one was bringing it up, the thought of my parents was dwelling in the back of my mind. I wanted to continue normally like it had never happened, but only avoiding mourning makes things progressively harder and progressively more painful in the long run.

A cigarette wasn't the answer to my problems. I knew that, but it'd at least help me through 'em.

A/N: HEY THERE. it feels like a lifetime since I last updated. I've had major writing block with this part of the story.

But, I wanted to just kind of let you all know there are a lot of projects I'm working on in my drafts. A good few books with the story lines briefly planned out. 

Chapter one to a new book is coming soon. NOT TO BRAG BUT, I personally think it's my best book yet (The book is basically finished with all chapters sitting in drafts,)

if you guys have any questions on the new book coming soon feel free to ask, I'd love to respond. 

ANYWAY, THAT'S KIND OF ALL. SO APOLOGIES FOR THE VERY OVERDUE CHAPTER. I HOPE YOU'RE ALL WELL AND ENJOY THIS. STAY SAFE <3