When we got home from what was my new tattoo place we finally unpacked the majority of our stuff. I still was unsure about the whole wanting to go see my parent situation, more when I would choose to. 

Billie, Tre and Mike still had a few shows to do around here since California was their last spot on the whole tour. 

But I did have a nice feeling of being back home. Of course, this wasn't my exact home. But California was. And my mind felt at ease knowing this is where I've come from and I'm back here. The only part that really made me nervous is I could at any point bump into my parents or even Mae, Layla or Kennedy. 

I knew I wanted to see my parents, for reasons I'd explained before. But I didn't give the girls much thought on a visit.

Considering where I left them off, Kennedy had kicked both Layla and Mae out of her house. I deemed that as the friendship group coming to an end since Layla was so angry at Mae and Kennedy and Kennedy was so angry at Layla. But who knows? Maybe they were able to sort it out.

I guess I would've known if I did tell Mike to reply to Mae's text.

"You look like you're thinking hard," Billie spoke up as he walked into the living room. I sat on his sofa, finger over my lips pondering about the three girls. But moving my hand when I saw Billie Joe.

"I am," I admitted as he sat down beside me.

"Oh really? What about?"

"Just that past, like per usual,"

"Do you live in your past?"

The question took me by surprise, but I guess as seconds passed I realised I did. Maybe I struggled with not being able to keep my head in the right time frame since running away from Cali. "I think I do," I answered honestly. "I just can't stop thinking about certain things,"

He budged slightly closer to me, listening. "Is it still your parents your thinking about?"

"Surprisingly, no,"

"Oh? What about then?"

"You remember Layla, Mae and Kennedy right?"

He squinted looking at the ceiling trying to recall. "Vaguely?"

"I'm just thinking about them. I guess just wondering what happened to them all after I left,"

"Didn't you mention the whole group fell apart before you left?" He reminded. 

"Well, yeah it did. But I mean- none of us had any other friends. Apart from me at that point with you, Tre and Mike. So maybe they remade up. I mean- didn't you say they were helping in the search parties after I left,"

"They seemed together then from what I remember?" He shrugged. "But then again. It wasn't like I was in the search party. I was only looking through my bedroom window,"

"Hmm," I thought back.

"Why are we are thinking of going and seeing them too?" He asked me slightly confused.

I blurted out a loud laugh at his question. Yeah right. "Of course not," I finally answered after giggling. "I was just kind thinking back. Like you said, maybe I'm just living the past,"

"I mean, you've been gone from California for years. It's not like it's odd to still think back on where you were here before or miss your old friends-"

"-I don't. Miss them," I sternly cut in.

"Alright. Well... think about your old friends then. Or your family,"

"I'm still unsure on doing that part,"

"I can come with you if you wanted me to?" He offered.

I smiled. In all honesty, it was brave of him to even ask considering how much my mom and dad didn't like him. But I wasn't about to say no because I was worried if I'd bring him through the door my parents would kick up a fuss and ruin the already ruined reunion. But mostly because I felt inside of me this was something I had to chosefully do, for myself, with myself, on my own. "As much as I'd like to have you there for emotional support if shit goes to bust, I'll turn that offer down,"

He lifted the starts of his eyebrows. "How come?"

"I guess it's just something I feels best doing on my own... which sounds stupid now I'm saying it out loud,"

"It's not stupid I get it. Just... call me before and afterwards. And even during if you get a chance. I'll be worrying,"

I couldn't help but smile at Billie. To which he grinned back, pulling my head closer as he left a kiss on the temple of my head. 

~

"Someones stressing out," Billie Joe sang slightly as he entered the kitchen.

Where I in fact was stressing out. Pacing the floor as I felt sweat build up on my skin from my nerves rising. "Not funny,"

"Hey!" He shot his hands up, showing me his palms in defence. "I didn't say it was,"

"I'm fucking shitting myself Billie," I finally paused after walking in circles. Standing in the centre of his large fancy kitchen as my hands dropped to my sides.

He put his hands down giving me a look of genuine, walking over to me as he planted his hands on my shoulders. "You'll do fine,"

"What if I'm not? My parents seemed to of hated me before I left- my mom even hit me I-"

"-She'd hit you!?"

I remember the night clearly. As I sat with a bag of frozen peas to my face considering ditching the town and leaving everyone and everything in the past. But of course with the exceptions of my three favourite idiots Billie Joe, Mike and Tre.

I had to run past and sneak the bag of frozen food under my shirt. How it gave me such bad goosebumps and chills but I had to act normal. When the bruise began to form, I made it to Billies before leaving. He did ask what happened to my eye. But when I announced I was leaving the conversation we would've had about it was thrown straight out the window. 

"Do you not remember the bruise around my eye when I showed up to your door before leaving?" 

"Well yeah, I did ask. But I mean when you said you were leaving the question went out of my head. I mean- she did that? I thought your mom was never physical and-"

"-She wasn't." I cut him out, casually. "I guess that night she just was,"

I noticed his eyes had shifted to a shade of worry. I wasn't sure what he was thinking up there in his head, I wasn't able to read Billie as good as he could read me. But for whatever it was he was thinking I knew it was nerves surrounding my mom. "And you're sure you wanna go on your own,"

"Oh come on, she wasn't a murderer Billie,"

"Echo she hit you,"

"Only once," I realised the moment the two words fell through my lips it agitated Billie. 

"Do you not remember me and my stepdad?" 

I swallowed, now I felt guilty and nervous. Fuck.

He continued. "Don't you remember how many times you had to clean me up? Or even that one time you lost your temper at me for excusing his actions? Do you think saying 'only once' will concern me any less?" His eyebrows were raised, revealing the creases on his forehead as he stared me deep in my eyes, hands still on my shoulders. A little tighter now. 

"Sorry, Billie..." I whispered anxiously.

He sighed, I think now he felt bed? He took his hands off my shoulders. "It's fine. I don't want you to be sorry I just..." 

"You just...?"

"I'm worried,"

I refrained from saying something like: 'Me and you both pal,'. Instead nodding. I understood why he was nervous of course. Cause like I'd said I am too. But I'm not scared she'll hit me or anything Billie might be nervous about. I was just worried about seeing her face again. Along with my dad.

I wonder if his eyes still seemed dead looking, or if it was just when I was around they looked that way. 

"What are you thinking?" His voice was slightly quiet, but that sense of anxiety was still in his eyes.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking about how wrong your family reunion might go,"

I sighed walking away from standing in front of him. "It's not a reunion,"

"Alright wrong word," He corrected, his voice following behind me as I made my way into his hallway where my converse was beside the front door. "I just meant seeing them again,"

"I've still gotta do it,"

Sitting on the first step of the staircase I placed Billies car keys beside me and grabbed for my shoes. Billie was lending me his car to drive over there since it was too far of a walk. "I've still gotta do it,"

He leaned on the front door watching me. "You don't have to,"

"I thought you wanted me to do this," I huffed, my arms dropping with one shoe in hand as I stared up at him.

He quickly removed his balance from the door. "I did! Well- before I found out your mom was abusive,"

"It was-!" I cut myself off what would've been my angry retort. When Billies eyes sent me a look of warning daring me to say the two words again. 

"It was fucking stupid is what it was," He spat, leaning back again crossing his arms. 

I didn't want this already passive aggressive conversation to break out into an argument before I would leave. The last thing I wanted was to turn up back at my old house already agitated and annoyed. So I ignored him, attempting to put my shoes on again. 

"Echo, I don't want you to go,"

Ignore him. 

I tied up the laces of one of my shoes before his voice re spoke.

"You listening to me?"

"Sorry-" I looked up straight at him. "-Are you talking to me like that?" My voice came out more aggressive than I thought it would.

"Yes, I am. You want me to just let you show up at your old parents front door after telling me that?"

"It was your idea!"

"She fucking hit you! Are you mental!?"

"Obviously." I mumbled, finishing off tying my other shoe and grabbing the car keys before I stood up, levelling with his face. "Now get out my way,"

"I'm not moving," He shrugged. 

"Well, you need to because I need to leave,"

"What if she hits you again huh? I won't even be there to fucking help you,"

"I wouldn't need your help,"

"Of course not. But I'll be the one you'll come home to when you're fucking upset,"

"She's not going to hit me for Christ sake Billie Joe now move!"

He stayed content at first. Shrugging his shoulders again. "I'm good staying right here,"

"You're being a control freak,"

"Of course I am. Me- the guy who got left bloody and bruised by his stepdad every week is being a control freak to the girl who wants to go see her abusive mom again,"

"It was once!"

"Once leads to more!"

I stood there biting my tongue. I knew this was a real sensitive and delicate conversation. And here I am practically dancing on broken glass. 

Even Billie said it, in different and more blunt words. "You're being really insensitive Echo,"

"I'm being fucked off because you won't let me leave!"

"Why can't you just skip the whole family reunion!?"

"It's not a reunion!"

"You fucked off and left everyone and now you wanna come back and give all these shitty people a visit!?"

My bottom lip drew into my mouth and under my front teeth as I stared over at him with malice in my eyes. I wanted to just shove him straight out the way. "Fucked off?" I scoffed. "That's how you're wording it?"

His face was filled with regret. "Echo, I worded it wrong,"

"Just get out the way Billie Joe before you word anything else fucking wrong,"

He looked over at me for a few seconds. Breathing in as he re furrowed his eyebrows before finally stomping out the way and behind me.

I didn't look back to even care to see what room he'd gone to. Kitchen or living room. I just opened the door and left. Ready for my 'reunion.'