"This is so surreal," I mumbled, looking over at Billie as he was unpacking.

Billie gave me a smile. "What part?"

"Everything,"

Billie and I were unpacking in what would become our room. I couldn't believe any of this, it all felt like some sort of dream.

Mike and Tre were also unpacking. Of course, this place wasn't going to be permanent either. So we only unpacked our basics, like clothes and whatnot. Kinda like when staying at a hotel.

Guess I was gonna have to get use to moving around a lot Huh?

"I still can't believe Mae had texted Mike,"

"Had she never texted you?" Billie asked me, finally pushing a suitcase away from himself and giving all his attention to me as he sat on the floor.

I shrugged, clueless. "I don't think so?"

"You said to me ages ago that if you were to ever run away, you'd been likely of to find your friends numbers in a phone book and give them a ring one day in the future to ask how their life's went." He reminded me. "Did you ever do that?"

"I said that before they told my mom about you. Y'know, before they messed up everything for me,"

"So you weren't ever going to reach out to them?"

"I never planned on," I admitted honestly. "I wouldn't of really had any of nice things to say,"

We continued unpacking, we'd got off the plane around maybe eight in the afternoon. We'd spent an hour grabbing food so Billie couldn't stop moaning and another hour unpacking. Although things weren't what teenage me would class as 'late'. For a couple of jet lagged adults, it was late enough and I was beginning to get drowsy.

I called it a night myself, I left the three of them in the empty living room making my way to what would be Billie and I'd shared room. Dodging the open boxes and random items on the floor before being able to throw myself in the bed and the covers completely.

I was woken up later on when the boys were bickering in the dining room downstairs. Just where the bottom of the stair case was. Laying there, I couldn't help but listen. Really, I couldn't. I had no choice.

"All I'm saying is she's obviously sticking around this time," I heard Billies voice huff in an obviously agitated tone.

"I didn't say she wouldn't!" Tres voice replied, somewhat defensive.

"So why are you still being weird with her?"

"We talked on the plane?"

"I mean- come on Tre she's obviously sorry," Mike butted in. "It's not like she left on her own choice,"

"What and she couldn't of-"

"-Couldn't of said goodbye, Tre I know," Billie sighed.

"Why is this even an argument at me!?"

"Shut up you idiot," Billie hushed. "She is sleeping,"

Yeah, not anymore pal.

"All I'm saying is I'm not acting weird for the fun of it." Tres voice groaned. "I cant help if Im being off with her,"

"Well you can. And you need to,"

"Alright Billie," Mike popped in again. "I think he gets it,"

There was this guilt in my stomach. Now I was causing arguments just by being around?

I knew myself I needed to gain back Tre's trust. But maybe I didn't see or realise how fast I'd have to do that. I guess I've been putting off even trying. But it was obvious with Billie placing our seats together on a plane and bringing it up to Tre whilst I was out the room it was something he wanted sorting out.

And after everything, I owed it to Tre. And Billie. I guess I was just thankful Mike was so understanding.

~

"Where are we going?" I groaned, sat up in bed as I looked up at Billie who had just thrown a shirt on.

The morning sun was shining through the open curtians, blinding me as my eyes adjusted to Billie snatching them open.

"We've not got any food in, so out for breakfast it is," He explained looking back over at me.

I groaned, dropping back laying down. "Do we have to?"

"Yes, c'mon. Up,"

"But I'm tired,"

"Me too- up,"

I huffed, pulling myself back up as I harshly threw the quilt off my legs. Managing to drag myself off of the bed and walk over to what had claimed to be my draws for the time being.

Although feeling droopy and still exhausted, I pulled an outfit out of the draws and got changed. When I found Billie when I was finally ready, that's when I actually realised it was just me and Billie going.

Had to argument worsened last night whilst I was asleep? Or did Billie just wanna go with me? Or did they not wanna come? Why am I even panicking? It's just breakfast- right?

Billie was sat on the sofa waiting for me, on his phone until he realised I was in the room. He looked up giving me a smile. "Ready?"

"How come Tre and Mike aren't coming?"

His face grew uncomfortable at my question. I knew it was more than just they didn't wanna wake up early too.

"They... said they'd rather not," He looked up at the walls of the room, dodging me. "They don't really eat breakfast so... y'know,"

"C'mon Billie, don't lie,"

"What?" He looked back at me. "I'm not lying I-"

"-I can tell you are,"

"C'mon," He laughed fakely. "I'm not that transparent,"

"Well you are lying. So how come they're not joining?"

Billie didn't give me an answer. Actually, he just stood up. And started to walk away?

"What? Where are you going?" I asked confused. Had I touched a nerve?

"To the car. I'll tell you in the car,"

Feeling led astray from what I originally asked, I followed him as we left the house. We climbed in to the hired car, as I counted the seconds that went by waiting when it would be an appropriate time to re ask my question.

The car started up as we pulled out the drive way, I breathed in before looking over at Billie. Not saying a word yet. I guess I hoped I wouldn't have to.

"I didn't do anything bad, by the way," He finally answered. Leaning a little over to me as he flickered his eyes over for a second.

"I didn't say you did,"

"C'mon-"

"-What?"

He looked back at me, smiling. "I know that look you give,"

"What look?"

"You gave it me all the time as a teenager. That look that you give me when your eyes when you say 'You're in trouble Billie Joe'. That one you gave me when I called your plasters prissy, or when I was hanging in your window waiting for you to pull me up the next day,"

"Oh come on!" I snorted. "I do not have a look,"

Billie just laughed. "I may not be transparent. But you are,"

Entangling with Billie Joe who was known to be a trouble making asshole was going to be an obvious challahs. Maybe I did have a certain look I gave him. He'd told me time and time again he could always see through me, but I guess I didn't think that meant he always would. I at least thought he wouldn't be able to now. Years after seeing him.

I huffed. "Alright. Fine. Maybe I do have a look. But that's because you have done something wrong,"

"I haven't!"

"So why were you and Tre arguing last night?"

He didn't reply. His eyes stayed in front. I waited for him to reply, but when he began to pull the car into a parking lot of an old tiny diner, I realised he didn't plan on answering my question.

We parked, Billie un buckling his seat belt as he put his hand on the car handle. "You coming?"

"Billie,"

Finally, he looked over. "What?"

"Why were you arguing with Tre last night?"

"I wasn-"

"-I literally heard you. You guys woke me up. What was it?"

His arm slumped off the door handle. His chest puffing out as he took a breath in. "I was just making a point- that's all,"

"What point?"

"The point of you're not leaving again," He snapped. Practically biting my head off, with out raising his voice.

Billies eyes dug straight into me. But every second I looked back at them, they lost their seriousness.

And then he opened his mouth. "Are you?" He questioned, voice just above a whisper.

It wasn't an 'are you' for me to confirm. In a threatening way. It was a genuine question. Like he didn't know for sure if what he said was really true.

He didn't even believe himself when he said I wasn't leaving. He still thinks I might.

"What?"

"Never mind,"

"I leave my home for you? I catch a flight to follow you around tour? And you still think I might leave?"

"No, Echo that's not what I'm saying-"

"-What more do you want me to do to prove I'm sticking around!"

"Nothing!"

"Y'know, I heard you telling Tre I was sticking around. But maybe you were just having to tell yourself,"

"Echo I don't mean it like-"

"-Mean it like what? That- that I'm heartless? That I don't care? That I'll leave again!?"

"No! None of that! I'm asking because I don't wanna loose you,"

"What? And you think I wanted to loose you last time?" I asked sarcastically.

"No! That's not what I'm saying! I don't think you wanna leave or your heartless or don't care- I never thought any of that last time! But you still left,"

"Because I had to!"

"Exactly! So what's wrong with being paranoid?"

I shook my head, looking away from Billie and at the front of the car. Breathing. "You wanna live this whole relationship paranoid?"

"I want reassurance. I want you. I'm not apologising for that,"

Maybe he was right, maybe I was wrong. I'd just made some big changes maybe I didn't realise that this whole me leaving him wouldn't just be part of our past.

Some things change. The creases on Billies face had deepened, he lost that baby face I remember seeing every day. I guess I could say I got more introverted? But some things will always stay the same. And that's the mistakes you make in the past.

Like not saying goodbye to Mike and Tre. And leaving, not reaching out, not bothering. That must've seemed like I don't care. So... what's wrong with giving reassurance to someone who believed for years I didn't care.

"I'm sorry Billie,"

"Huh?"

I glanced back over at him meekly. "You're right. You shouldn't apologise for that. And I'll not try and make you. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I took it the wrong way and I got offended. But- I'm not leaving you again, I promise you,"

His smile was small but gentle. Relief. "Hell... who ever knew you could apologise?"

"Shut up," I giggled, punching him playfully in the arm.

"C'mon. Let's go get breakfast. I think we're both hangry,"

~

I sat backstage with Mike, Tre and Billie. Turns out getting ready for a show isn't like when girls get ready for parties at their houses. These guys have professionals helping them get ready tonight.

I stood behind Billie who was in a foldable black chair. Staring at him through the mirror that was in front. Some women brushing up on his face, making him look good for his show.

Our argument earlier, if you call it that, hadn't stayed in the air. In fact, no tension was even left after I apologised. Which I was glad for.

"And you're sure you really wanna be in that crowd tonight?" Billie asked me, trying to keep his face still as he looked back at me.

Of course I wanted to. I didn't wanna sit back stage and watch them from a TV, what's the fun in that?

I have a breezy laugh, before smiling at him. "Yes Billie. I'm positive,"

"Y'know it can get pretty rowdy... right?"

"I survived Gilmans crowds, don't worry about me,"

There's something about being in a crowd of any concert that I love. I'd much prefer the authentic ness of being in the experience then watching through a screen in another room.

I could of done that at home.

He shrugged. "If you say so,"

A security guard approached me. Asking me politely if he'd like me to help him escort him safely to a front spot in the concert. I agreed, saying goodbye to Billie, Mike and still Tre wishing them luck before walking away with this guy.

When I got to the crowd, I could already feel the excitement of everyone else around me to be able to be here tonight. I way preferred this.

The concert began, the boys came on, sang there songs. Billie only managed to find me in the crowd around the end poor guy.

And that's when I guess it hit me how different everything was.

This isn't Gilman anymore, this is a whole arena. This isn't standing in a crowd of a few drunk people watching my boyfriend and his friends get on the stage of a building. This is a real concert. With that same guy up there singing.

How times had changed, right?