Chapter Four
"Huh?" I replied, before seeing me. I could see the moment his heart sunk through his eyes. "Oh my god,"
I slowly lifted up the wallet in my hand.
His shocked expression broke into a smile. His eyes still big. Before he chuckled slightly. "No way,"
All though I felt absolutely weak and stunned, his expression made me grin before I managed to reply. "Think I've got something of yours,"
No way indeed. Last time I saw him face to face, of course years and years ago, his hair was at the bleached blonde stage. Where his brown roots grew out into it, but he just let them. He mostly wore baggy band shirts and black pants. But no matter how many times I had saw him on the TV, billboards, posters or on social medias, it only really hit me to how much the boy I had loved changed when he was standing in front of me. If it wasn't his signature crooked grin and the eyes he could've really passed off as a total stranger.
It sort of hits you more like a punch then a wave. Like one of those punches right in the chest or stomach that leaves you with out your breath, just feeling light weight and confused.
As if his smile couldn't, it stretched bigger as he walked over to grab his wallet. But instead he wrapped his arms around me pulling me into his embrace. I hugged him back longingly, still having this fizzy feeling of feeling stunned rushing through my veins and blood.
Feelings his arms around me gave me the nostalgia of home. And not in the cliché way. Nostalgia of home by with my parents. Being in his arms agaun brought back the whole time of those years I spent living with my parents.
I felt my eyes tear up, happy tears of course. Some escaping as I giggled trying not to seem sopy.
"This is unbelievable," I heard him whisper.
I laughed slightly, pulling away from him to see his face. "You're telling me,"
"Don't cry," he pouted, with a slight laugh placing his hands on my cheeks. He wiped closely under my eyes with his thumbs, the kind gesture making me tear up more.
I giggled blinking. "They're happy tears,"
I looked up at him. I could see his eyes stained with tears too, but after he wiped mine, just for safe precautions he wiped under his own. Before his hands placed on my shoulders again and he was looking back at me.
"You look so different," he whispered under his breath as he stared at me. "It's like I can see the you I know, but I'm also faced with a stranger,"
"I grew up Billie Joe, I'm not a teenager anymore,"
Trying to stay still, but there was excitement running through me. I wanted to jump around, I was smiling like an idiot I knew I was, this might've been the happiest I remembered myself ever being recently.
Billies eyes floated away from me to someone else, I let go of him completely feeling his arms falling off me as I looked back over at Willow and Austin.
The both of them looked at him with disbelief in their faces. Willow parted her lips ready to say something, but closed them again confused.
"Thats Willow, her boyfriend Austin too," I mumbled to Billie.
"Billie Joe Armstrong- the singer of Green Day- this has got to be a joke," Austin muttered.
"You're telling me..." Willow agreed.
Billie stared at him confused, as Austin looked over at me. "Ho- how do you know him?"
I'm surprised Willow hadn't told him. Maybe she did respect my privacy.
"She use to date him..." Willow mumbled.
Billie smiled proudly looking over at me. "I think he knows me,"
Then I took a look, just around at everyone in the bar. To realise how we had really been the centre of attention.
No sorry, not we. Not us. Him.
Everyone stared at him, their mouths slightly opened and their eyes wide in shock.
Billie realised too.
"I think everyone does..." I added.
He took one last look around. Before he looked over at me. "Come with me?"
"Wh- what? Where?"
"Just come with me, please? I've just found you- I'm not gonna walk away from here-"
"-But you just got here?"
"Do you think I was expecting to see you here?"
"...No..."
"Echo you know me. You know you do, just trust me. I can't walk away with out at least having a real conversation with you. Give me closer even if it's for a while, please?"
I took another look. Everyone really was staring. Not directly, but you could just tell they were trying not to. Some of these people even had their phones obviously out trying to snap a photo of Billie. They would speak to who they were with, give it a second or two and glance over again. Then they'd do it again. And again. It made me sort of uneasy, even if they weren't looking directly at me.
So I flickered my gaze between Willow and Billie. Before I nodded slightly and he smiled again.
His smile turned giddy. "C'mon." He told me turning around. I followed him as Willow quickly caught up with me.
"When are you gonna be back home?"
"You've got your keys right?"
She nodded.
"You can lock the door, I'll unlock it when I'm back
"Tell me everything when you are,"
I nodded, she smiled as I walked through the bar door and we made it back outside into the cold.
"Y'know this is so crazy," he mumbled to himself as we walked a little down the street. He pulled out what I'm assuming to be some car keys, pressing a button as we saw a cars lights flash up.
"This is more than crazy... unbelievable even," I replied, making our way to the car.
The car. Was big. It was fancy, shiny, clean and very expensive looking. I didn't know cars, I never had, but I didn't need to to know this car was a lot of moneys worth.
We climbed into his car. And things were silent. I didn't know where to start. The questions I wanted to ask. I wanted to scream with excitement, but also puke.
I wanted to ask how he was when I left. How Mike and Tre had been. I wanted to ask if there was anyone else. I wanted to ask if he had been looking for me like he said he would be. I wanted to ask how things with his step dad went. How his band got so famous. But I said nothing.
I looked over at him, I understood what he meant when he said it was like being faced with a stranger. But yet he looked over, and for a split second I did see the him I knew.
It was all so complicatedly weird. But yet amazing.
"Y'know I never thought I would see you again," he laughed slightly. "I know I said I would believe in fate. But fate was a long shot. I was scared to put all my faith into something to be disappointed- y'know?"
"I still can't believe it's you. Like- it's really you. I never thought I would ever see you again either I'll admit- but in a bar?"
He let a laugh at my disbelief. "I've missed you Echo,"
"Really?"
"Terribly,"
I broke a smile. Before I could say I had missed him too, his smile slipped.
It fell off his face. I didn't know where it had gone. It just left. He looked away at me, looking sad. Why did he look sad? Was he suppose to be sad?
"What?" I asked, panicking silently.
He looked back over at me. I realised he wasn't just sad, he looked a little confused too. Like he had just as many questions as I did. But maybe sad ones. "You never even tried to contact me,"
I stuttered on my words, nervously. "No... Billie- I- it- no, no it wasn't like that,"
"I was waiting for you to get in contact like you always said. You never even tried. Did you lose your feelings that quickly?"
"Lose? Billie- I loved you, you don't just lose your love for someone,"
"So then where did it go?"
"No where,"
Little too soon.
"What?"
"No- no not no where. That's not what I meant- I mean- well what I mean is it I didn't just lose them like you think,"
"So then why did you never try to-"
"-Because I was scared Billie Joe, why else?"
He furrowed his eyebrows over at me. "Scared?"
"Yes, Billie, Scared. I was terrified. What if you didn't want me to get into contact? What if you moved on? What if you didn't care that much? What if you forgot me?"
"But none of that happened and-"
"-How was I suppose to know?"
He raised his eyebrows, looking sad again. Why? I left him looking sad, I find him looking sad. Is it just me? "Did you never listen to the songs we released?"
What did I say? Of course I had. I always tried to put off playing them, but of course I did. Why wouldn't I? But did I tell him that? Did I want him to know that maybe there's still feelings there?
I stayed silent nervously, but he was quiet too waiting for an answer from me. So finally, I nodded slowly. "I did..."
"I released so many songs about you Echo,"
"I didn't know those were about-"
"-Of course they were,"
I looked down at my lap. Feeling a little embarrassed. "I didn't know,"
Things fell silent. So much to say, we didn't know where to start.
"Did you ever get to where you wanted to be?" He asked out of no where.
I looked over at him not quite understanding his question. "Huh?"
"Working in a tattoo shop like you always dreamed of. Did you get that part of your future?"
I broke a smile. "I own it,"
"You own it?"
"I own a tattoo shop,"
"Can- well- can we go there?"
Did I have the keys to open the door?
"Got the keys?"
I nodded.
"And your purse?"
I nodded.
"Alright... come on then,"
"We can! I've got the keys on me-" I shuffled slightly in the car seat, being able to pull the keys out of my back pocket as they jingled. "-Willow made me check before we went into the bar. Since- well all my keys are on here,"
"Direct me?"
"Y'know it,"
He smiled excitedly as he started the car up. I plugged my seat belt on, playing with the keys in my hands as he asked me about certain turns and roads. We didn't get to talk much about anything other than the directions from the bar to the tattoo shop, since he hadn't a clue where he was going and I was suppose to be his personal sat nave.
Maybe all the questions I had dreamed about asking him, would have to be put on hold just a little bit longer.
"Okay, now park," I told him, as the car began to slow down. "Its right here,"
The car completely stopped as he looked out the window, the tattoo shop on his side through the window. "This is yours?"
"Its not much much, but its all I need I guess," I shrugged unplugging my seat belt.
We made our way out his car as I pulled the keys out my back pocket as they jingled. My hands were shaking as I inserted the ley into the lock, trying to steady them as I turned it. The door unlocked as I pushed it open, Billie following behind me as I flicked the lights on.
They flickered for a few seconds before completely turning on.
"This is all yours?" He asked looking around.
I nodded, somewhat nervously. "All mine,"
So when did we start asking the questions?
I had played it cool, so far. But my heart was shaking and pounding inside my own chest. My hands hadn't stopped trembling the moment I saw him, and it felt like my breath was still sort of stuck in my throat.
I couldn't look at him for more than a few seconds. Every time I did, there was this flood of emotions I couldnt proceed as fast as they came. Overwhelmed me. They came so fast, with so many at a time I couldn't understand what to feel. It was terrifying.
"This is awesome... y'know, I'm glad you made it to where you wanted to be," He smiled over at me.
I looked away down to the floor. "Yeah... I'm happy for you too, being famous and all,"
I saw from the floor he walked closer, ducking under me as he looked up. "Why are you looking at the floor?" He asked, looking down too.
I looked up, laughing. "I dont know,"
He straightened up, looking around again. And I couldn't help but just, come out with it. "Can I ask you something?"
He looked back at me. "Course,"
"Well... a few things,"
"Take it in turns?" He suggested.
"We can do that,"
I pulled one of the seats over to me beside the client chair. Letting him know he could sit back in that chair.
So where do I start? His eyes flickered around my face waiting for my first question. But I didn't know which one to ask.
"Were Mike and Tre mad?" I finally blabbered out. "Y'know, that I didn't say goodbye or anything... were they... mad?"
He cringed lightly. "Tre,"
"Tre's mad?"
He nodded slowly. "When you first left... I kinda had to break it to them. That you left. If I remember right, Mike understood. Tre was pretty angry, having drove you around everywhere to spray paint,"
Well thats great. "Is he still mad? Would he still be mad?"
He did the same slow nod. Having to be the one to tell me Tre was still holding a grudge. Remembering Tre right, he rarely got mad. He would laugh at most things. If not everything. So I must've really hurt him for him to be mad and carry on that anger through the years.
After a few seconds silence Billie sat up. "Okay my turn," He took a second thinking. "Do you still have my jumper?"
The blue navy one? "Course I do, why- do you want it?"
"What? No," He chuckled. "Echo I don't want it. It's yours,"
I was drawn between deciding whether it felt like I was talking more with a stranger or the Billie I knew. He wasn't the same person, neither was I. Time was bound to change us like it does with everyone, but I could never imagine him changing so much.
"Alright... my turn," I moved on. "Did y'know what happened with my parents?"
He let out a small forced laugh. "The whole town knew,"
"They did?"
"You left no message to them, no goodbye- you only spoke to me and they knew you would've. They found my address somehow and interviewed me. That got me in some real trouble with Brad,"
"Your step dad right?"
"Sadly. He knew I knew. I didn't tell your parents or even mine a word, but he wasn't happy about it,"
There was an electric feeling of guilt running through me, realising how much of a mess I left him with. "Billie... I'm so sorry-"
"-No, no. Its fine. But after that, the police looked around a little in case you'd been kidnapped or whatever. Since I guess with no letter it was a possibility. But they ruled you off as a run away teen. Thanks to Layla, Kennedy and Mae who exposed your plan to run away you'd been talking about for years,"
It was bad... but, I had forgotten about Mae, Layla and even Kennedy. They weren't exactly who they were when I first met then vs when I left, it sucked course- but it was the truth. "What happened with Mae and Mike?"
"Mae left Mike because of how we wouldn't tell them anything,"
"Shit..."
"Mike didn't care that much," Billie shrugged. "He was more bothered about keeping where you were hidden then that,"
I pouted. "I miss Mike. I miss Mike and Tre and all their stupidness. Like the dumb things Tre said and Mikes sarcasm. I can't believe I really left you guys behind,"
"Hey hey- hey-" He spoke quickly sitting up, as he reached his arm other touching my shoulder comfortingly. "Don't beat yourself up about it,"
"It was so dumb,"
"It was dumb but you'd of been dumber to stay,"
"Really though? I would've had you, Tre and Mike-"
"-For a few more nights and then sent to live with an old lady, you picked the smartest option. Running away is always dumb, it's an unsafe thing to do. But when you're left with no better option you're smarter for taking the dumb way,"
I stayed silent. He wasn't lying, but it didn't help the guilt.
"Hey I know something that'll cheer you up," He spoke up after a few silent seconds.
Looking up, he had a certain childish smile. "And what's that Billie Joe?"
He shook off his leather coat, folding it in his arms as he pulled up the sleeve of his t-shirt. His arms ha tattoos all over them, with the few blank awkward spots. On the shoulder of his arm he pointed with his finger to a fairly large empty space. "Fancy giving me a tattoo?"
"What- like- right now?"
He shrugged with one shoulder. "You're the tattooist,"
"What would you want?"
"Surprise me,"
"Surprise you?"
"Yeah, freestyle y'know? I trust you,"
I smiled over widely at him, before whispering. "Let me get my gun and gloves,"
I wasn't sure what the time was when I started the tattoo, but maybe around an hour and thirty minutes after it had been finished. The whole time of us reminiscing about old memories. It was definitely late, the shops on the streets had all turned their lights off and shut down until sunrise. But this was my shop, so my rules.
It was difficult to give Billie a tattoo more than anyone. He never stopped fussing around or moving. Each time he laughed I'd have to wait for him to stop so I wouldn't mess up, he'd never been still since the day I met him. Particularly the day I met him by shouting at him for not staying still. But with the amount of tattoos on his arms he already had I was hoping he'd at least be easier to tattoo on then the times I drew with marker on him in tattoo designs.
"Ow,"
"It's tender you nimrod- don't poke it," I sighed with a laugh whacking his hand away.
With out explanation, he began to smile. Not at me, more to himself.
"What are you smiling at?" I asked him, wiping over the tattoo with a cloth before moving back to look at it.
"What? Oh- nothing,"
"C'mon Billie, let's hear,"
He gave in, looking over at me. "You still use that word?"
"What word?"
"Nimrod,"
"Not particularly, but you seem to of always been an exception,"
He chuckled. "I've not heard anyone say that word in years- anyway, is it done?"
I looked back down at his arm, nodding. "If you're happy with it,"
Helping him out the chair, he walked over to one of the mirrors installed on the wall holding his sleeve up as he looked down at his reflections arm. "You're too good at this stuff,"
"Is that a good thing?"
He rolled his eyes playfully at me in the mirror before turning around. "Yes. Echo this is sick, I can't believe I just sat there while you freestyled that,"
I shrugged my shoulders bashfully looking down. "What can I say,"
From my peripheral version, I realised him pulling out his black wallet which I'd found earlier on. Before panicking.
"Hey hey! What are you doing?"
He looked up. "Paying you,"
"What? No- no, I don't want any money for it,"
"But-"
"-Billie I wanted to tattoo you, remember? That when we first meet I'd give you a tattoo?"
"Not for Free,"
"Uhuh for free- put your wallet away!"
Putting his wallet away with a small smile, he looked back up at me asking as he stuffed it back in his jean pocket. "Can I at least pay you with another hug?"
"I'd be more than happy to accept that,"
He held his arms out for me, walking into them as they wrapped around me. I felt his cheek rest on my head as he swayed me back and forth lightly.
None of us said or wanted to say anything. This was the moment where we just appreciated the presence and the hug. From all the things I wanted to tell him, I'd never ruin a moment so sweet with any of my questions. But I did accidentally ruin it with a yawn.
"Tired?" He whispered, still swaying.
"No," I lied.
He moved his hands, placing them on my shoulders as he pulled me away to look at him. "Sure? You look tired,"
"I'm not tired,"
"Want me to drive you home?"
"I don't wanna leave you yet,"
"I don't want you to leave me yet either... but I think someone needs to sleep,"
I gave in. "Will you see me again?"
"Course I will dummy,"
"Tomorrow?"
"You mean today?" He laughed slighlty. "Its past midnight,"
"Yeah alright smartass, will you see me later?"
"Y'know I will,"
"Promise... right?"
"I promise,"
"Alright," I yawned again, making my way out of his arms as I walked over to the tattoo gear I left out. "Let me put some antibiotic ointment over your tattoo, wrap it up and we can close up,"
"Sounds fun,"
I picked the antibiotic up, rolling my eyes as I walked back to him. He pulled up the sleeve of his t-shirt again showing the tattoo. As I gently applied a thin layer over it, making sure to be gentle.
We wrapped his new tattoo up with some plastic wrap before re shutting the tattoo place until early morning when It would be opened up again. Billie put his leather jacket back around him, painfully mumbling 'ow' as he made it over his left shoulder.
The tattoo shop closed up as I locked it, the both of us climbing into Billies car again. I told him my address before accidentally finding myself too comfortable in the car seats and falling asleep. I hadn't realised how tired I must've been until Billie woke me up in the car as we reached mine.
"Go on," He chuckled. "Go get into bed,"
"I'm gonna see you again right?"
"Echo stop worrying- I'm gonna still be around when you wake up,"
"Stop by at the tattoo shop? I'm working early morning,"
"I'll see you there. I promise. Now I know it's hard to walk away again but, you need the sleep,"
"Your right," I mumbled. Before undoing the cars seat belt. "I'll see you later Billie Joe... right?"
"Won't be able to escape me,"
"Good,"
It felt weird, and took a lot more strength to walk away from the car and get out. The feeling of leaving him again made me want to cry, although I knew I'd see him again it felt too wrong to do. I'd just found him, yet I'm leaving again.
Making my way inside, Willow eagerly came out from the living room ready to hear all about it. She followed me to the bedroom after I'd locked the door ready to hear everything, but I shortly passed out on my bed.
Feeling the most closure I'd ever had.
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