Shivaay pov

I take the deep breath and sit on the chair placed outside the room. Anika passed out there I had to take her here. She is an idiot why it is difficult for her to understand that she have to take care of herself. And why I blaming her when everyone allowed her to travel knowing her condition are they really out of there mind.

I am just tried of everything. I don't understand anything or do anything for anyone. It's really now out of my hands.

All her words were still ringing in my head on loop. With that many questions. Will I ever able to forgive her??

Rudra is inside with her. He already have the earful from me and doctor.

" Up for coffee?? "

I looked at side to found manav coming in my direction. He came and sat beside me.

" You better have the good reasons for the stunt you all played Manav "

" Come to my cabin Shivaay we will talk there. "

We came to his cabin he order two coffees. I sat opposite to him on couch present in his cabin.

" I had a word with doctor there is nothing to worry about. It's common to feel tired, slight dizziness. "

"After knowing these thing why the hell you allowed her to travel Manva are you all are out of your mind. "

"Shivaay we know what we did. And it's important because bhabhi is taking stress which not at all favorable for her. "

Before I say anything there is knock on the door. The staff member brings the coffee. I take my cup. I really needed this right now.

" So now what you guys decided. "

" Did I ever have choice to decide. Now I don't have anything to do and give anything to anyone. "

" Look shivaay I know you are hurt. And you are right at your place. Bhabhi also know that what she did was wrong. But she is trying shivaay.
She told you everything now. Think from her perspective.

If you both got second chance then why you leaving like that. If bhabhi had done wrong that time. Now you are doing the same.

I don't know what actually happened that Bhabhi decided like this. Now why are you doing this. We all know if she did it's not for selfishness or herself. There is other reason.
For God sake you both love each other. Then why Shivaay from when you started leaving people to whom you love.

If you are leaving this chance then you are complete idiot. Whatever happened is happened you have chance to live your life with the person you want. The person you love. Just think wisely before taking decision.

Now go home and rest look at you looking like ghost and top of that giving those angry glares. Me and Rudra are here. Now just shoo. "
He hugged me than I left from his cabin.

I came outside the hospital. Driver was there with car I asked khanna to send driver because I really can't drive . I sit on back seat and looked the passing buildings. Remembering what happened before Anika passed out.

"I am so done with everyone to take decision for me, my life as if I don't know what is good for me Or not. Whatever your reason can they take back the pain I gone throw.

When I don't want to get married whole family is behind me. When I want the bride itself break the marriage without giving any reason.
24×7 just one question roaming in my mind which I have no answer. It was so suffocating.

That day I was so happy that finally I completed dada jii dream, your dream next day I was coming to Delhi to meet you. Don't you yourself said that you will be proud. You said that you will wait for me. I was dieing to see, to tell you what you meant to me. How difficult for me to live there without you. But what you did Anika.

My feelings, my emotions, my views doesn't that matter at all. It's our relationship then why did you take decision for me. You know my weakness and you take advantage of that didn't you.

Not even for a moment you think that I deserve to know. Can you even imagine a life changing decision of my life I fucking even don't know the reason behind that. What it felt?? No you don't and I wish you never felt that way.

Then I came to know that you are fighting for your life by other people.
Did you even have an idea what I felt that moment. Like somebody that moment taken my life.

When I got shot you were angry on me. You were crying and being worried for me then is that allowed for you only.

Not able to see you, not there for you when you are going through this much pain alone. Why can't we fight battle together. Why you choose to endured all pain alone. Why don't you allow me to be beside you. Why can't I be your shield Anika.

I was dieing each moment standing there outside the O.T not knowing if you able to live or not. You fucking don't have any idea.

Uncle, aunty ,Rudra I am equally angry with them to give up in front up of your stubbornness.

And you say you did for me. Don't you know me.Why you choose to endured all pain by yourself alone. Why can't you allowed me to be there for you.

We promised right to be there for each other. You don't have to keep me over yourself or us Anika. You are not hurting yourself but others also.

Why is it's difficult for you to understand that you not just the part of my life. You are part of me, my life.

If you going to hurt yourself how i am going to live happily. You say you did for my happiness but you failed to understand that you are my happiness,my peace."

" Shivaay please no don't think like that" She said wiping my tears. I am done I can't keep this pain inside me. It's choking me.

" Look here Shivaay"she said keeping her palm on both sides of cheek.

" Who said you were not there with me Shivaay. Today I am standing in front of you is because of you only. You were there with me each second Shivaay. You are and will always be my strength. You told me to not to cry I didn't. You told me to stay strong I did. Your lessons were there with me. When I felt like I am losing I used to think what Shivaay had done in that situation. Shivaay don't like to lose then how can I . When I say I meant it if I am able to win this battle is because of you Shivaay. You were with me each moment.

Even if I had died there, you are the person i have in my memories. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you were there for me when I needed  you the most. Not for me only for maa, papa and Rudra.

I don't know how and when you became such an inseparable part shivaay. I just can't see you in pain. And for that if I had to endured your hate I am ready for that also.

And I hate myself for making you through all this pain, for making you cry.I am sorry Shivaay if you have in yourself please forgive me.

I am sorry Shivaay. " She whispered and lost her balance. I held her before she is fell down. Her hand grabbing my collar.

"Anika, Anika open your eyes. " I patted her cheek but there is no response. I bring her to hospital.

" Sir we reached " I looked outside we reached OM.

" You can take off tomorrow " I told driver and make my way inside. Only to find Om and gauri waiting for me.

" Bhaiya how is bhabhi" Gauri asked while giving the glass of water.

" She is fine. "

" Bhaiya you freshen up then have your dinner. "

" I am not hungry Gauri. "

" What bhaiya we are waiting for you to have dinner with you. "

" Shivaay change and come we are waiting for you. "

I make my way towards my room changed my clothes and came back.
We were having dinner in silence.

" Ishaan slept?? "

" Yes he is having slight cold so he slept early. "

" Why did you guys allowed her to travel. You know her condition and you didn't feel important to tell me you all were doing the same what she had done. I am highly disappointed Gauri and Om. "

" Bhaiya we are sorry but if we will let you know. Neither you allow her to travel nor you agree to meet her. "

" Shivaay we Consultant to doctors after than only we processed. It's enough shivaay. How much you going to hurt yourself. Both of you care of each other, you both love each other.

What Bhabhi did was mistake shivaay yourself know better about the situation. Can't you forgive her shivaay, don't lose it now. "

" Bhaiya please think about this once. I am not saying what bhabhi did was right. But think from her perspective. She was at stage where she don't have anything to lose bhaiya she didn't have hope to live. So she didn't do for her selfishness.

You know bhabhi better than anyone. And now everything is in your hand. You remember what you told me when I came to your office.

Never stop fighting for your love. If you will stop then who will fight. So now bhaiya why are you letting her go because of one mistake of bhabhi.
She need you bhaiya even if she don't saying it. I saw longing in her eyes for you. Now you have chance don't lose it and regret it in future. I know you will make everything right bhaiya "

Gauri said hugging me.

" Yes we are here with you shivaay whatever your decision is. " Om hugged me from side.

"Mee tooo bale papa " came a voice behind us. Running towards me and hugging my legs.

" Ishaan what are you doing here you have cold. " I said taking him in my arms. He wound both his hands around my neck keep his head on my shoulder. I check his forehead he is fine .

"Mummy papa hug " he screeched.

" You my boy can't sleep peacefully can you?? " Gauri said.

" No " Om and Ishaan said making all of us laugh. They both also hugged from each side.

" Now it's late come Ishaan " Om said.

" No bale papa "

" Bade papa is tired Ishaan you will not let him sleep now come fast "

" Gauri let it be he is already sleepy . Let him sleep if he will trouble I will let you know right Ishaan "

" Yess bale papa "

" But bhaiya.. " I cut her in between.

" It's late we are going to sleep you both better sleep "

After wishing each other we make our way towards my room.

"You ate ice cream again in night that's why you are having cold right Ishaan"

He smiled sheepishly. I make lay on bed cover him properly with quilt and lay beside him. He hugged me instantly.

" Bale papa "

" Yess "

"Will bali maa come to meet me with my gift. She promised me to give on my birthday.Is she angry with me. She didn't call me Or talk with me bale papa" He whispered. This is the first time he is talking about her from that day. His birthday on Saturday.

" No she is not Ishaan."

" Bale papa ask bali maa to talk with me. I will not trouble her. Ishaan miss balii maa "hugging me tight.

" Will Ishaan come with me to meet his badi maa tomorrow??? "

" Really " He looked at me with wide eyes.

" Yes " He grinned so wide.

" Now sleep if you want to come tomorrow. "

He hugged me and slept with in few minutes. I caress his head.

It will me my stupidity if I let her go this time. Not everyone get second chance I got now I am not losing it.
I will fight for our love if for that I had to fight with her I will.

Such a stupid girl she is. She said she know me then also didn't understand what she meant to me. And I will make sure she didn't do anything stupid in future. I can't let her go because I can't live without her. These few months are enough for me to know.

She is safe now what's more I need. This time I am not letting her go.
Not in any condition.

_____________________________________

Here is another update. I hope you guys will like this. Please let me know your views. Please comment. I tried my best to give update as soon as possible will try to give another.

Stay safe and healthy.

Don't forget to hit the vote button ❤