Shivaay Pov

We sit in silence until I felt her hold loosen. I break the hug she is looking down. Her eyes were red and puffy.
Her hands were shivering. I fill the glass with from the side table and pass her. She didn't take nor even she look upward. She hurriedly wipes her tears looking at the other side.

" Anika have water " I brought near her mouth. She take the glass with shivering hands. After taking a sip I put back the glass on table.

" You wait I will bring something for you to eat" I stand to bring food but Anika stopped me.

" I am not hungry " said in a low voice.

" You have to eat something Anika you already having fever. "

I came in kitchen I take dal and rice as light food is good in sickness and come back to her room finding her sitting leaning against the bed looking outside lost in her thoughts.

I keep the plate on the bed. She didn't know about my presence. Her eyes were already teary. I didn't say anything and keep spoon full rice in front of her.

" I am not listening anything so have as much you want "

She eat without saying anything. I keep the tray the aside.

" Now tell me what had happened to you. I find you on floor unconscious in this cold. What if I didn't come here. You are having high fever. What's troubling you."  

" Nothing I just ... " I cut her in between.

" Nothing seriously Anika what did you said to me that day now what are doing hiding  things from me. There  is something you are hiding from everyone . I knew this  from the  very first day. Whether you smiles in front of others but you can't lie to me  because your eyes shows everything. Tell me Anika. I know you heard what Tia said you are upset because of that don't you "

" Whatever she said is somewhere is truth. Tell me honestly Shivaay in this month's of us knowing you ever thought saying no to me. Means you shouldn't  had said yes to this alliance." she said looking aimlessly in low voice. I tried to comprehend the meaning behind her question.

" Why I will think Anika what you even asking me . And if  I ask you the same question then what will be your answer ?? "

She nodded her head in no. 

" Anika look here you cannot leave this conversation like this and act indifferent. You need to tell me what's troubling you. I am here with you. Just trust me Anika. " I take her cold hand in mine.

" Haven't you felt that I am arrogant or  felt bored talking to me.  You don't felt annoyed or irritate when you get silence from my side in conversation. My lack of response.  Didn't you felt  that I need to make efforts equally in this relationship. " she said.

" Tell me one thing have you felt that sad, angry when I didn't give proper time to you. Like every other girl you also having some expectation. I know I didn't give time because of office. Have you ever felt annoyed when I didn't express myself.  Have you ever thought you can get the other person who can give proper time to you , who express his emotions more openly ??? "

" No right because you understand me. You know that work is important for me and for you also. Then why you will felt like this. What even you are talking . How can you think like I will ever reconsider my descision of  choosing you. And from where this is all coming. "

" From childhood I had been listening all this. My grandmother wants a boy but I born my parents didn't say or behave indifferent but they also want a boy. My grandmother used to say I am nothing but a burden as at that time we are not this financial stable. She don't wants me to go and study else she want me to learn household chores. But papa didn't listen her and sent me to school. After that Rudra born and everyone was so happy including me. But things changed with time. Maa used to spend her time with Rudra. Papa remain busy in work. I used to feel alone. But I promised myself to never let anyone feel that I am burden on them. This society is so manipulative why always girls consider as a burden.

I start studying my all expenses of school were  full filled by scholarship.
With time our family condition start improving I want to do study in good school so I could do something to make maa and papa proud. I never have friends .As I changed my school their are students how came from very good background I used to feel neglected. I used to feel uncomfortable around new people and places.They used to make fun of me. They used to insult me as their are many things at that time I didn't know as I never intrested in their conversation of party, shopping, makeup their is nothing valuable that I can add in conversation. Resultant I restricted my self. My self confidence came down I never tell this to anyone I don't want them to get worried. Whenever I thought to talk with maa but she instead tell me to change myself. But I never want to change myself because of other people because I am not wrong.

I also wanted to enjoy , behave freely but I couldn't because I have to achieve something on my own. It take time me to involve with new people new places. I always thank full to maa papa to support me. I remember  when I told them about my job selection they were proud on me. I always ignored what people said but how much  I tried but 0.1 percent it still hurt and it very so badly. I am tried of listening all this. It hurts when someone think you as a burden . It's not my mistake that I am girl. All start calling me what yes reserved, egoistic , passive and what not. I Stop going to parties or function s because again all started why I am still single or do this do that  I just don't wanna listen . Even now people thought it's just my luck that I got you as according to them I have nothing to match with you.

From keeping away myself I used to spent my free time in balcony because it provides me the peace. I started reading to keep away myself from negative thoughts. I have  no one to whom I can share with all this. I never want maa and papa to know about this.

How can I not doubts regarding your descision of choosing me when I am nothing like you. I just a simple girl who termed as what not. I am habitual of listening this.

But I never want your head down because of me, you feel embarrassed, because of me someone should say anything to you. I will never forgive myself for that. "

I listen each and everything. She is saying that it's her luck no it's my luck to have her in my life. Not caring about herself she is crying for me.I always saw  her caring about others , and she is hiding so much pain in behind that smile which always adores on her face.

" And you defined like this to yourself 
reserved, egoistic , passive." she looked at me with teary eyes.

"From where you are reserved its just you choose people wisely because respect, relation, good character come first for you rather than materialistic girls, corrupt people.

From when you become passive  because you are totally opposite of that. I seen you have so much patience and innocence.

You are saying egoistic to your self than about me do you think. Everyone knows me as arrogant and egoistic businesses man. Because I have  present myself to be like this in industry.

You said your self boring than compare to me. I the one is boring than you.  You didn't like other girls who waste their time in shopping or other things instead of that you improved yourself.  The choices you make and the decision you take aren't influenced by others.

You are strong,  confident and independent girl you should be proud on yourself Anika. I feel so proud on  you and to have you as life partner. It's my luck that I got you in my life.

How can I doubt my descision of choosing you when I know you are the one for me. The one who understand me, love my family as her. I already said this earlier and I am saying this again stop doubting on your self Anika.

No one is perfect even I am not. We over me you said this to me on very first day. Then how can I choose me over us. "

A lone tear scape from her eye. I wipe that back of my palm.  Take her shivering hand in mine.

" This is the last time you are saying something like this. Stop self doubting your self Anika. And stop crying for people who not deserve . Moreover you are not looking good at all while crying. Now stop crying. "

"I told you this earlier I am telling now you should  start working as a counsellor. Moreover you are making fun of me"

" And what are doing whatever I said you pin point only this thing"

" Fine I can't win from you "

" Anyway it's already late you should sleep you are having fever. "

I said standing but  Anika pulled me back.

" You didn't have your dinner right " she asked here she herself is sick then also thinking about me.

" I already taken "

" No you didn't I know I will bring something " she said standing.

"Super women where do you think you are going. It's already cold outside you are having fever so just rest. I will take by myself. "

" You are not going to sleep without having something "

" Yeah now sleep. If you want something call me. Good night "

" Good night "

I came downstairs. I eat little it's already midnight i lost my appetite. Before going to my room I thought to check Anika once again. I asked her not to close the door.

I found her sleeping peacefully. I covered her with quilt properly. Her temperature lower down.  And I cannot resist my self I kissed on her forehead.

I came to my room change clothes and laid down on bed. I know Anika you have gone through a lot. But now your happiness is my responsibility I will do anything to keep you happy.
I don't know why I feeling so bad seeing you crying like that but deep down I am relief that you trust me enough to open up with me.

Whatever happened  in past is not in my hand I can't do anything. But I will make sure nothing goes wrong in future.
You deserve all the happiness. I will also try to give my as much time I can give you. With this thought I slept.

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Here is the next update. I hope you like this. Share your views if any mistake let me know I typed in hurry as in 30 mins I have to give my final exam. And here I am writing this. So do let me your views.

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