— So ? said I, watching Vlad coming back from highschool, Have you screwed it all up yet ?

— Why would I ?

— Well, that's usually what vampire dudes do during their first day of any human school.

— You lied to me ! He blamed me.

I did what, now ?

— You said you've never met any vampire before !

— It's the case, moreover, before "meeting" Augustus I was dead convinced that your kind only existed in bad movies and terrible stories. I explained, miming the quotation marks with my fingers.

— It doesn't make sense ! If what you said is true, where did you get the information about what vampires do on their first highschool day ?

I sighed.

— I wasn't serious.

— When was that ?

— When was what ? I asked, kinda lost.

— You're using the past tense, but you didn't specify what moment of the past.

He didn't let me answer, honestly I wasn't going to, and carried on.

— How could anybody know what you're talking about if you don't specify the time of speaking ? You said you weren't serious, does it mean you are, now?

This is it. I'm gonna lose it.

— Did it go well ? I changed subject before doing something I'd regret.

— More or less, yeah. Some girls asked me for my... What's that called again ? My Mone Fumber !

— It's «Phone number» ! Dumb head !

— Whatever. I said I didn't have one and they went mad, saying I didn't need to lie and if I didn't want to get to know them I had to say it clearly.

Well, little did they know he's not your average 17-year old Mister dark hair.

— Oh boy. Don't you tell me you rejected them !

— I told them I wasn't lying, that us vampires can use telepathy so we don't need no gadget of that kind.

Well yes, somewhere during that almighty month I taught (well tried to teach) him what a cellphone was, and how it became so vital nowadays. That dumb head refused to get himself one, how am I supposed to help him be more modern ?

— Oh no you didn't.

— I did. I just had to tell the truth.

— Lemme guess, they pushed you away brutally and yelled "Grow up !" Didn't they ?

— Wow. Do you also have the ability to read minds ?

— No I just- wait. What did you just say ?

— I asked you if you had superpowers.

— No, before "have". What's the word you used ?

— Also ? It's to express-

— I KNOW HOW WORDS FUNCTION, THANKS ! Have you been using it on me ?

How many of my thoughts did those hairless rats spy on ?

— What about your middle school ?

I see. Changing the subject again. Well played, I guess.

— What about it ?

Someone else would've freezed and panicked but I'm a professional liar. Okay, maybe not. I just had plenty of time to prepare a proper lie.

— As usual, I'd say. They were a little worked up because they thought I was dead, but overall, it went well.

— Why would you be dead ? he asked, genuinely concerned, as if he didn't have everything to do with it.

— I don't know,... I'm guessing it's because I kind of disappeared months ago and showed no sign of life since then ?

— Huh, that... he said, scratching his head, as if I was blaming him, which is exactly what I was doing.

— Yes, THAT. Anyway, I'm exhausted ! If you need me, I'll be in my room.

Yep, the same room I could redecorate as I wish. It looks more like something I'd live in now, although the TV is still missing.

Well, that's not entirely true, there is a television in that room but it doesn't have the channels I usually watch. The only stuff I can watch (and understand) on that TV for now are the cooking programs, and they don't interest me that much.

Talking about cooking... Laying on my brand new bed I wonder how my deal with Max went off. What about-

— Julie ?

It's been a while I didn't get to hear my name.

— Yea?

— I got you food. Open your window !

— Max ! Coming right up ! I sprinted to the window, so I could open it to him.

A Hamburger !

— My mom made some today. I don't exactly know how I'm gonna manage to keep my promise, so I thought I'd bring you one to begin with.

— How kind ! But... Just that one ?

— Count yourself lucky to have that.

— I was only messing around. Even though, I would've liked some more.

— What a dragon ! Okay, next time, I'll try to bring more, but for now, just deal with that one burger !

— But I'm starving !

— You heard that ? he said, out of nowhere, surprising me by putting his finger against my lips, before jumping off the very same window he used to get in.

For a few seconds, I didn't move. Then I realized what just happened.

I don't really know if I should feel angry, frustrated or amazed by what my new friend came up with.

Deciding to skip directly to the part where I'm eating real food, I turn off the TV I was only using as a background sound, close the window and get comfortably installed by the desk. Everything is now perfect for me to taste my dear burger.

I've got a habit of always asking or checking on the ingredients of everything I eat or drink, but this time it's been so long I didn't eat something decent that I just don't care anymore. Besides, I don't have any deadly allergy so why the fuss would I even care ?